Great question by ussdfiant honey:
•I'm new to the forum, but my fiancee isn't. I am 34 and want to start a family in the next couple years, but I am concerned about the amount of time he'll have to be a father, and the amount of time I'll be able to spend with him in general. •••
First, WELCOME!!!
Great question and I hope it gets lots of input!
I am where you are at...almost 32 and hubby is starting med school in kirksville next year. We have both thought long and hard about having kids in the next few years, but have decided that we will let the universe/God decide.
We have actually been trying for a couple years cuz we wanted to have a child before he started med school so that he could be there more when they were super little.....but life does not work out how you plan. These things happen in their own time for thier own reasons.
So, we will just see what happens. If a child comes while he is in med school, then we will enjoy the good things about the timing and appreciate that any bad things, are temporary.
Good things about a child in med school: HAVING a child!
; I will have lots of time to spend with a baby with little interference from family; there will be the support of other spouses/SOs having children; we will be broke enough that we can get help financially; there is nothing that says that he can't hold a baby and study at the same time and so, might be easier for him to have time with a baby then with an older child who would notice lack of interaction.
Bad things: I will be doing more alone in some ways, I have to learn how to use a video recorder so that he can see moments that he might miss, I might feel more tied down into being a 'mom only' role, he will miss things (but he will later in residency or in practice....just different things).
Well, thats kind of where my thinking is going. As I said, right now, we would just be blessed but would be ok if we never have a child because life has a different plan for everyone. But, at my age ::snuffle, gaffaw::, we can't put it off until he is done with everything.
Hope that helps...you can write to me anytime and I hope that someone with experience gives some input!!! MOMMIES....where are you?!?!?
Wifty aka Rebecca