Starting a family while in Med School

[Smurfawana]

So this may have been covered already in previous topics, but it seems to typically be a female student asking for advice, so this is a little bit different.

I am currently married (we celebrated our first anniversary this past November) and am currently still finishing my degree before applying. My wife and I both want to start a family, and are thinking to "try" once in med school.

The question(s) that plague me are: Which years seem to work best? What challenges can I expect, and what challenges will she face? She currently works as a paralegal, but will want to stay home to raise the baby(s). Is this something we could work out in theory? Can extra loans be taken out so that neither of us have to work while I'm in school and she's raising the baby? Are there support networks in place for young families going through the same thing?

Waiting until residency isn't likely, and I've read that this can be more nightmarish than doing so in the first couple, or fourth year of med school.

Any advice is greatly appreciated, and will no doubt alleviate her own stress about the issue as well as mine.

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[Smurfawana]

Great answer. To answer some of yours, I plan to apply both in the Chicago area, as well as UW Madison, in which case I'll be relatively close to family and support-though not necessarily guaranteeing a steady babysitter at all. Where I would really like to attend (and live) is on the West Coast, in which case we'll both be in a new area and will be making new acquaintances. Which brings me to one of the original prompts, are there groups of "doctor wives" or "med school student wives" where she could find support?

Freelancing seems like a good idea, and even the possibility that she could telecommute. To best provide a comfortable living I'm still thinking additional loans may be necessary, and am wondering if anyone else has done this. Sure it's additional debt, but I believe it's easily worth the ability to start a family, and allow her and the baby some measure of comfort.

 

[J ROD]

Federal loans PLUS and then private loans. There is always money available if you are willing to take it on.

Biggest thing I see is having a support system in place. Going at with just you two will be very hard. I would try and stay closer to family.

 

[OneDayDocDude]

About finances, the bulk of it should be covered by insurance for giving birth.

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I really have no idea what you mean by that. Could you please elaborate?

 

[Nibbler]

Sorry if this is a stupid question, but I really have no idea what you mean by that. Could you please elaborate?

The bulk of expenses (during the course of pregnancy and childbirth, including the hospital stay and possible complications) should be covered by your insurance. With my first kid, the only copay I had was $20 for my entire pregnancy/birth. By the time I had my second, our insurance changed policy/coverage, and we were responsible for roughly $1500 out of pocket. I would call your insurance company if you are serious and they should be able to give you a breakdown of the in-network fees.

Honestly, I would start sooner rather than later, depending on you/wife's age. A fair number of my classmates have had problems conceiving, even if they started in their late 20s/early early 30s. You just never know, and if you DEFINITELY want kids you don't necessarily want to take that gamble to put it off for a few years. Having to go the fertility route is very expensive and very, very taxing on your mental state and marriage.

 

[klc10]

Having a family in Medical school can be hard. I know for my husband He can be sad when he is gone so much and misses a lot of milestones, but for us, it will be nice that when he is finally done with school, our kids will be older and be able to travel and enjoy life with us when we do have money from him working. We have taken out extra loans to make sure our needs are met for our kids.. It can be done, it's a little bit more work but worth it.

www.studentswife.com

 

[Smurfawana]

Having a family in Medical school can be hard. I know for my husband He can be sad when he is gone so much and misses a lot of milestones, but for us, it will be nice that when he is finally done with school, our kids will be older and be able to travel and enjoy life with us when we do have money from him working. We have taken out extra loans to make sure our needs are met for our kids.. It can be done, it's a little bit more work but worth it.

www.studentswife.com

So if you don't mind me asking, are you currently working, or are you staying at home with the kids (not to imply that that isn't a job in itself). Trying to see what's possible as far as using loans to subsidize cost of living so my wife could stay home while I'm at school.

 

[marinabitton123]

It's possible, but I waited until after med school. Even now its tough but more manageable later. Doesn't necessarily mean its the right answer. Everyone is different.