One of my colleague MS-3's on a surgical rotation was called to a consult in the ED last week. I finished up what I was doing and stopped by about midway through the H&P. Middle aged guy, came in for hand pain, which turned out to be nothing of note. Incidentally, a large soft mass was discovered in the left testicle. Imaging was equivocal... mass lesion vs hernia. Surgical consult was called. Of course, I didn't know any of this when I walked in... I just knew we had a surgical consult and I thought I'd check in on my colleague.
I walk in and the first thing that I notice is that the patient is really malodorous. Not the kind of smell you get from not taking a shower for a couple of days, more like a couple of weeks. No problem. Seen it (smelt it) before. My classmate pats his white coat, checks his shoulders, looks to me.
"Do you have a stethoscope on you?"
I don't think twice. I just hand mine straight over to him. The fancy one that I was convinced I'd need back in first year when the rep came to speak to our class. Right around the time I also picked up my PanOptic Ophthalmoscope.
So I hand it over and my friend goes to work. Checks the lungs, heart sounds, listens for murmurs, carotids, abdomen, etc., the whole 9 yards. As he's doing this I'm thinking, "Man, I'm gonna really have to spray down my stethoscope after this one."
He finishes up the abdomen and pulls the sheets down. It smells even worse than before. I'm starting to wonder what we're here for right about now. For some reason he's still got my stethoscope in his ears...
He points to the guy's left testicle. It's big. On closer examination, it looks like he's got 2 testes in there.
My colleague finally informs me: "So the reason we're here is there might be a hernia."
And slowly, but surely, he begins to move the diaphragm of the scope down there. For a second, I think he's joking. Then he looks at me again, guiltily, and it dawns on me that he's seriously going to place my stethoscope right on this guy's malodorous balls.
I give him a look that says "Noooooooo!!!!"
But it's too late. The diaphragm is on the skin.
I don't know if the tears in my eyes are from the feelings of loss or the thick haze permeating the air. I cycle through the first 4 stages of grief in a flash... Denial, anger, bargaining, depression. Acceptance would come much later.
I'm staring at my colleague in disbelief. He hands me the scope and says, "Take a listen."
So I do.
Bowel sounds.
Turns out the guy has an large incarcerated loop of bowel in his scrotum.
We call our attending, admit the guy, and book the OR. Needless to say, my colleague spent the next 15 minutes scrubbing down my stethoscope.
Quick tip if you find yourself borrowing someone's stethoscope in a similar situation: slide a latex glove over the chest piece and you will avoid the ire of your colleagues.
Maybe I still haven't hit acceptance yet.
All that is to say: I'd go with a basic one.