Stress

[embracethepain]

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[CurlsandPearls]

Hi guys, I feel extremely uncomfortable posting this online but I dont know where else to get advice. I was supposed to study for the mcat this summer and i was highly motivated. However, my parents are constantly fighting and situations are turning so bad that I feel so psychologically hurt that I am losing all focus and motivation. I feel like my dream is slipping out of my hand and also I feel like I'm losing my family at the same time. I really can't handle it anymore. I am so incredibly stressed. I tried to study in the library but I feel so guilty and cant stop thinking about the fact that my parents are fighting at home. I recently got surgery and the pain is brain splitting and I'm still trying to study through the pain so it wont affect me. However, today my parents started yelling again and I couldn't handle it anymore. I started yelling at them and throwing things around and punching the wall. I can't believe I acted that way and I am so ashamed of myself. Now my body hurts even more, I feel like a horrible person for saying such bad things, and I can't even look at my mcat books.This whole situation is screwing up my future, and I really don't know how to deal with it. I am constantly crying, trying to motivate myself again, and by the time I'm motivated and in full study mode this happens again. I was valedictorian of my high school, graduated with high honors in my college, which is a top notch university, and now I feel like everything is slipping away from me. I am trying so hard to be calm and not lose focus but it hurts me so much to see loved ones behaving like this. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? If so how did you guys deal with it? I know this is somewhat unrelated to med school but it is really affecting me and I am having a hard time dealing with it.

I'm really sorry that you're having to go through this. It definitely seems like this stress is taking a toll on you, and possibly causing you to burn out. Have you considered postponing the MCAT so that you can take a break and relax (and also so that you can heal physically/mentally from the surgery), then get back to studying?

I've had to deal with stressful family situations, but personally I'm really good at being able to push those things out of my mind and focus on what I need to focus on and deal with the other problem later.

 

[dsk89]

Hi guys, I feel extremely uncomfortable posting this online but I dont know where else to get advice. I was supposed to study for the mcat this summer and i was highly motivated. However, my parents are constantly fighting and situations are turning so bad that I feel so psychologically hurt that I am losing all focus and motivation. I feel like my dream is slipping out of my hand and also I feel like I'm losing my family at the same time. I really can't handle it anymore. I am so incredibly stressed. I tried to study in the library but I feel so guilty and cant stop thinking about the fact that my parents are fighting at home. I recently got surgery and the pain is brain splitting and I'm still trying to study through the pain so it wont affect me. However, today my parents started yelling again and I couldn't handle it anymore. I started yelling at them and throwing things around and punching the wall. I can't believe I acted that way and I am so ashamed of myself. Now my body hurts even more, I feel like a horrible person for saying such bad things, and I can't even look at my mcat books.This whole situation is screwing up my future, and I really don't know how to deal with it. I am constantly crying, trying to motivate myself again, and by the time I'm motivated and in full study mode this happens again. I was valedictorian of my high school, graduated with high honors in my college, which is a top notch university, and now I feel like everything is slipping away from me. I am trying so hard to be calm and not lose focus but it hurts me so much to see loved ones behaving like this. Has anyone experienced anything like this before? If so how did you guys deal with it? I know this is somewhat unrelated to med school but it is really affecting me and I am having a hard time dealing with it.

Your future is not in jeopardy, just don't think like that. If you did well throughout college, and you presumably have good EC's, then a decent MCAT score is all that stands between you and your dream. I'd recommend postponing the MCAT while you cope with what is going on in your life. You don't want a mediocre score because of all these adverse conditions.

I'm assuming that if you were studying for the MCAT that you are not applying this cycle? If so, just postpone till later (maybe spring time?). There is no rush, medical school and life is not a race, its a marathon.Take the time you need to get better now, it'll be better for your MCAT and for your health and future. I went through similar things through my life, but I've managed to process it all and block it out to focus on things that I need to get done. Good luck, I hope the best for you and that it all works out.

 

[ShenanigansMD]

I've had to deal with something similar.

Go to the park/nature/river, take a 30 minute breather, and then pull out your MCAT books.

 

[solitarius]

Sounds like a losing, uphill battle.

Delay?

On the upside, a seat opened up in my area for the 9/11 test day; on the downside, I don't want to pay the money to reschedule.

 

[MossyFiber]

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[TheMightySmiter]

I really think you could benefit from therapy or counseling. What you are describing is not an uncommon response to your situation, but it is not a healthy or sustainable one. We cannot give you the advice you need. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find someone that you can get some real assistance from.

 

[MossyFiber]

I really think you could benefit from therapy or counseling. What you are describing is not an uncommon response to your situation, but it is not a healthy or sustainable one. We cannot give you the advice you need. I wish you the best of luck and hope you can find someone that you can get some real assistance from.

This. I forgot to mention, my psychologists and lots of friend support were essential for me making it through my family stress issues.

 

[embracethepain]

Hi guys, thanks for all the input. I think just having people give me advice-any advice was really helpful. I just took a walk and I feel much calmer and intend on speaking with my parents about the problem to find a solution. Acting like that was very out of character for me but I guess everyone has a threshold of stress above which all hell breaks lose. I've decided to postpone my mcat and focus on my family. Ultimately their well being is more important to me than is med school. I have time for the mcat anyway. Counseling might be a good idea, just to have someone to talk to confidentially (regular vent sessions?). I know a lot of people who go to therapy and they are better able to deal with many of the common issues family/work/academic life poses. I guess being spoiled without any family problems or other issues my whole life has ill-prepared me for things like this but everyone has to learn at some point.

You guys are seriously the best. I've never been much of a forum/posting things online person but I feel like the sdn community is so helpful and encouraging. I'm still extremely embarrassed I posted this online but since something good came out of it, I guess all is well.

 

[911 Turbo]

Hi guys, thanks for all the input. I think just having people give me advice-any advice was really helpful. I just took a walk and I feel much calmer and intend on speaking with my parents about the problem to find a solution. Acting like that was very out of character for me but I guess everyone has a threshold of stress above which all hell breaks lose. I've decided to postpone my mcat and focus on my family. Ultimately their well being is more important to me than is med school. I have time for the mcat anyway. Counseling might be a good idea, just to have someone to talk to confidentially (regular vent sessions?). I know a lot of people who go to therapy and they are better able to deal with many of the common issues family/work/academic life poses. I guess being spoiled without any family problems or other issues my whole life has ill-prepared me for things like this but everyone has to learn at some point.

You guys are seriously the best. I've never been much of a forum/posting things online person but I feel like the sdn community is so helpful and encouraging. I'm still extremely embarrassed I posted this online but since something good came out of it, I guess all is well.

1) Move out
2) Profit

 

[embracethepain]

Applying for jobs as I type.

 

[b05010445]

I went through something similar when I took my first MCAT. My parents were getting a divorce and I was left with the task of fixing our crappy house (replacing floors, sinks, molding, repainting ect) and doing all the preparations when the house had to be shown. I also had to pack up most of our stuff and move, of course the house's closing was the day after my MCAT. I did mediocre, I could have gone carib or DO. Instead I took an SMP and I am re-taking my Mcat next week. I think that is really helping my application, but you have a good Ugrad GPA, so you might be best off just postponing the MCAT, especially if you are not applying this cycle.
I know from experience, the big problem is not the yelling- it's the guilt. You can go to a library to avoid yelling, but you can't go anywhere to escape guilt. Either you'll feel guilty that you're at the library while this is happening, or you'll be home and feel guilty you're not studying. It's a tough spot.

 

[MossyFiber]

Good luck - you're never alone. =)