Stupid Parent Questions

[BigNavyPedsGuy]

OK, I'm tired of this thread just being about program interviews. In a spirit of good fun, what are some of the funniest/silliest/stupidest questions a parent has asked you.

Parent: I've been smoking while I'm breast feeding. Is that bad?

Parent: Jenny McCarthy says I shouldn't vaccinate my kids. I shouldn't, right?

Parent: My kid won't sleep through the night
Me: What happens?
Parent: They wake up in the middle of the night and cry until I come into the room.
Me: What do you do then?
Parent: I give them a snack, play with them and cuddle with them until they fall asleep
Me: *confused look*
Parent: Why do they keep waking up?

Now someone else go.

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[oldbearprofessor]

OK, I'm tired of this thread just being about program interviews. In a spirit of good fun, what are some of the funniest/silliest/stupidest questions a parent has asked you.

Now someone else go.

In my business, the most common question asked is "When will my baby go home?" This is a reasonable question about a baby on/near full feeds in a crib, but often it gets asked in the delivery room while we're taking care of a newly born 26 week premie!

Both in this case, and when it gets asked by the insurance folks, I always add about 2 weeks to what I REALLY think.

 

[Stitch]

In my business, the most common question asked is "When will my baby go home?" This is a reasonable question about a baby on/near full feeds in a crib, but often it gets asked in the delivery room while we're taking care of a newly born 26 week premie!

Both in this case, and when it gets asked by the insurance folks, I always add about 2 weeks to what I REALLY think.

I get this too when I transfer a kid from a regular nursery to the NICU. They also obsess about when their kid will be circumcised. The baby's on a ventilator, has sepsis and a huge PDA and their only question is when can the kid's weiner be whacked...

 

[red453]

We had a mom call the other day to ask how to get her 6 year old to sleep after that Dad let her watch Poltergeist.

 

[bks524]

My all time favorite (and it used to happen frequently) is in the delivery room. A baby comes out blue and apneic with a HR in the 40s and the dad walks over and asks what the weight is?

Even if the baby is fine and everything runs normal, within 5 seconds of the baby hitting the Ohio bed a relative asks me what the weight is. A few times, I just told them 14 1/2 pounds just to see the response!! (then I told them I was kidding)

 

[Stitch]

A call in from the mommy pager:
"My 15 year old daughter gets a sore throat every time she gives head. Should I bring her in to get checked out?"

Now THAT's an involved mom...

 

[DrJ2B]

A call in from the mommy pager:
"My 15 year old daughter gets a sore throat every time she gives head. Should I bring her in to get checked out?"

Now THAT's an involved mom...

Freakishly involved mom....

 

[J-Rad]

A call in from the mommy pager:
"My 15 year old daughter gets a sore throat every time she gives head. Should I bring her in to get checked out?"

Now THAT's an involved mom...

Ahh, Naahfuk...I miss that gem of a city. The place where: Me to URI kid's (noncustodial) F.O.B.-"Any past medical issue?".
"No".
PE starts. "Um, why the scar here?"
"Oh, yeah. He had to have some kind of heart surgery."

No he didn't know what defect, where the surgery was done, or who the surgeon was...

 

[J-Rad]

Taking nursery call. Corpman comes in and says "Baby so-and-so's parents have a question for the Doc."
"Yes..."
"They want to know how come the baby's blood type is B and they're both O."
"I'm busy...for the rest of the night."

A lot of parents really wanted to know what their baby's blood type was. I'm not sure if that was silly or not.

 

[PeepshowJohnny]

We had a mom call the other day to ask how to get her 6 year old to sleep after that Dad let her watch Poltergeist.

Dude, call the state on that Dad for abuse. That's a ****ing scary ass movie.

 

[drbon]

2 week old's mom: Why does my baby have an eye infection?
Me: Well, when did the green discharge start?
Mom: A few days after I began using breast-milk soaked cotton balls to clean her eyes.
Me (in my head):

 

[edmadison]

Taking nursery call. Corpman comes in and says "Baby so-and-so's parents have a question for the Doc."
"Yes..."
"They want to know how come the baby's blood type is B and they're both O."
"I'm busy...for the rest of the night."

A lot of parents really wanted to know what their baby's blood type was. I'm not sure if that was silly or not.

Oh yes, I've had that one, but I didn't have a nurse running interference. I think my ad lib was that sometimes mutations happen. Several times, I've had mother's insist that their babies were much lower in gestational age (dad was deployed). Me: "Ma'am, are you sure your baby is only at 32 weeks? We don't see many 9 pound 32 week preemies!

Ed

 

[cdcd67]

2 week old's mom: Why does my baby have an eye infection?
Me: Well, when did the green discharge start?
Mom: A few days after I began using breast-milk soaked cotton balls to clean her eyes.
Me (in my head):

LOL!!!!!!