Is the Chronic one of superstition, you ask?
And you know dis maaaaaaaan!
After the Chronic gets off work, he immediately purchases a six pack at the AmPm mini-mart next to the job site. Each beer is significant, and no beer goes unscathed.
5:10 pm M-F
Beer 1: Having just bought a six pack of Miller Lite cans (a true high roller), the Chronic selects the one whose logo is revealed on the greatest amount of viewable surface area. With ease and a respect unprecedented, the Chronic penetrates the can with his keys, so as to form a most perfect region for a shotgun. (The Chronic apologizes for how porn-iferous that sounded). Then, he faces in the direction opposite of the sunset (East, our faded one believes), and takes down Beer 1 in a split-second after muttering "What you got Miller?", all in the grandiose effort to effect prosperity.
5:30 pm M-F
Beer 2: The Chronic arrives at his current residence in sunny Southern California, and carries the now five-pack to the back porch, where he casually sips on Beer 2, all the while scoping out the ladies and weirdos that abound his beachfront property. He does this with one shoe on and one shoe off, to "stomp" the admissions demons from becoming too judgmental and critical.
5:45 pm M-F
Beer 3: With the next-to-no buzz tacked on by the consumption of two beers that contain at most 3.5% alcohol, the Chronic meets his long time friend and accomplice Maryland Jane (she goes by Mary) for an "alternative" yoga and meditation session. Immediately upon the session's termination, Beer 3 is inserted into the funnel apparatus for consumption. However, in order to escape from the curses of the rejection lords, the Chronic does 15 jumping jacks before taking Beer 3 down.
5:46 pm M-F
Beer 4: This beer has no significance. Sometimes, the Chronic will sip on it. Sometimes, the Chronic will pound it. Sometimes, dat amazing cat the Chronic might pour it in a frosted pint glass. Sometimes, the Chronic might give it away because the funnel apparatus didn't go down so smooth. Whatever happens is the Chronic's decision.
6:00 pm M-F
Beer 5: This is the beer of all beers. People may disagree, but here is why...No longer can someone bum a beer off you, because you have just one left, and no respectable human being drinks your last beer. Thus, there is peace and harmony upon this beer's consumption. The Chronic will then make his wish for the day (ex. "Please let there be cool people in med school", "Please let there be a ratio of 75% to 25%, girls to guys, in med school", etc.), and open thebeer with his right hand. He then proceeds to the drink the beer left-handed, in three drinks, and three drinks only. Sometimes its three, and sometimes its six (that depends on how that funnel went for Beer 3), but either way, what I said is true.
6:15 pm M-F
Beer 6: This beer is often consumed on the way to purchase more beer and maybe a bite to eat, depending on how much money the Chronic has at the time.
As such, you can tell that the Chronic is very superstitious; in fact, he must now switch to a different website as the 16 minute mark for allowable SDN browsing is approaching.
And it only allowed me to procrastinate for about an hour to find a good pic and get it to an acceptable size.
