Chimichica

Sweet brutality, of course!
5+ Year Member
Nov 12, 2013
204
88
Status
Pre-Medical
Hello all,

My bf of 3 years but close friend of 10 have been very open about how we are going to handle med school. While we know some times and things will be trial and error I feel I have prepped him as best I can. He is non medical by the way I do need some advice though. I love cooking. Nothing super fancy, but it's all homemade. I don't eat processed foods hardly at all besides stuff like crackers and occasionally a pastry. I also have recently transitioned to vegetarian. And that's my new lifestyle. My issue is the bf does not cook. He's a microwave ramen only type of guy. Everytime I bring up me going to school (no kids yet) and how busy I will be and how important is is that I have healthy food available. All he says is "if I have money then I will buy food" but financially since I won't be working at all, that won't be feasible to do all the time. Like I can barely even get him to step foot in the kitchen for more than 20 minutes. It sucks because regardless if im the woman, if he could prepare simple healthy meals for me at least part of the time, it would be a big help. I wouldn't have to fret about cooking or the store being closed because he would have made something already. I mean so many students in med school have poor health because they don't have someone to help prepare healthy meals for them. And most don't have time to do it themselves. We don't have it like that, that we can hire a chef or spend $10-12 per meal per day everyday to eat what's on par with how I cook now. And most healthy eat out places are expensive. It just makes me so mad because I do it for him and it's like damn when I need you to step it up a little and do this so it can benefit the both of us, he just blows me off.
Do you all have any advice?

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prettylittlebird

2+ Year Member
May 6, 2016
125
167
Status
Medical Student
The most concerning thing to me is that he isn't willing to help out. While it's your responsibility to feed yourself, if eating is something you do together and you're the one who is mostly cooking that isn't really fair. Does he know that this is really important to you? It may just be that he doesn't think it's a big deal. I would suggest having a serious conversation with him about it or maybe asking if you can start cooking together and seeing if that gets him more interested.
 
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OP
Chimichica

Chimichica

Sweet brutality, of course!
5+ Year Member
Nov 12, 2013
204
88
Status
Pre-Medical
I think I will have a sit down. Proper eating is such a big thing for me and I hope he will cone around. My father and grandpa are both cooks so I'm so used to men sharing the kitchen with us girls. It's a small way to to make a big difference. And it would mean alot if I could get him off his butt and help me in the kitchen.

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Jan 18, 2006
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I think I will have a sit down. Proper eating is such a big thing for me and I hope he will cone around. My father and grandpa are both cooks so I'm so used to men sharing the kitchen with us girls. It's a small way to to make a big difference. And it would mean alot if I could get him off his butt and help me in the kitchen.

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Is it just with cooking, or has this been a consistent problem? In any case, if he's understanding and has been with you for 3 years, I would hope a sit-down conversation about it wouldn't be that big of a deal. Maybe he just honestly doesn't know how to cook well. Maybe you two could cook some together and you could show him stuff? Men usually really like "making" and "creating" things, so maybe you could spin it that way with him.
 
OP
Chimichica

Chimichica

Sweet brutality, of course!
5+ Year Member
Nov 12, 2013
204
88
Status
Pre-Medical
So he came clean and told me the reason he gave me so much resistance is because he felt embarrased about being 26 years old and not knowing how to cook at all. I told him I didn't mind teaching him if he was willing to give a few recipes a shot. And so far as other things like laundry and dishes he helps all the time. Just wanted to give an update.

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VenusinFurs

I am tired, I am weary
7+ Year Member
Dec 17, 2009
925
212
Status
Attending Physician
I'm really glad to hear he opened up about why he is resistant to cooking! That's a good sign. It is so important to feel supported and not have to take all the load on yourself. And you are right that med school is terrible for proper eating.
 

Mr Medschool Money

ASA Member
Removed
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Dec 20, 2016
55
34
www.makemoneyinmedschool.com
Status
Medical Student
Hello all,

My bf of 3 years but close friend of 10 have been very open about how we are going to handle med school. While we know some times and things will be trial and error I feel I have prepped him as best I can. He is non medical by the way I do need some advice though. I love cooking. Nothing super fancy, but it's all homemade. I don't eat processed foods hardly at all besides stuff like crackers and occasionally a pastry. I also have recently transitioned to vegetarian. And that's my new lifestyle. My issue is the bf does not cook. He's a microwave ramen only type of guy. Everytime I bring up me going to school (no kids yet) and how busy I will be and how important is is that I have healthy food available. All he says is "if I have money then I will buy food" but financially since I won't be working at all, that won't be feasible to do all the time. Like I can barely even get him to step foot in the kitchen for more than 20 minutes. It sucks because regardless if im the woman, if he could prepare simple healthy meals for me at least part of the time, it would be a big help. I wouldn't have to fret about cooking or the store being closed because he would have made something already. I mean so many students in med school have poor health because they don't have someone to help prepare healthy meals for them. And most don't have time to do it themselves. We don't have it like that, that we can hire a chef or spend $10-12 per meal per day everyday to eat what's on par with how I cook now. And most healthy eat out places are expensive. It just makes me so mad because I do it for him and it's like damn when I need you to step it up a little and do this so it can benefit the both of us, he just blows me off.
Do you all have any advice?

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk
Med school will not solve problems for you. It will only magnify the problems you already have. My wife made good nutritious food for me through school because it is one of her values, like you. I value it, but not as much as she does, and I wouldn't give up my time to pursue it like she does. Your boyfriend will not magically come around once you start med school. Either he's in or he's out lol. thats what I would say. And if he can make enough money to buy good food rather than make it that is an option too. but if he can't even do that, he probably has no business being with/dating a baby doctor, and you should find someone who is more equally yoked. Just my opinion. I've been through the beginning of med school- it only magnified problems I already had rather than solving any.