Support of family members

[Josie1554]

I am just curious about how supportive other people's families are of their decision to go into psychology.

My family is not supportive at all, and it shows. For instance, whenever I say something that my parents do not agree with, they alway ask (cynically) "did Psychology teach you that?" The best example is when we went to see "Sixth Sense." When the main character, who was a child psychologist--which is what I want to be-- gets shot by his client, my parents immediately thought that would be my fate and tried to use the movie to talk me out of it.

I guess, from my family's perspective, they spent nearly 20 years investing in summer kiddie college, SAT prep, and private school, in order for me to become doctor. However, I threw it all away to become a psychologist. What they do not understand (and refuse to understand) is that all of their efforts helped me get into funded program with literally a 1.5% acceptance rate. What makes things even worse is that my sister is in medical school and my family is always talking about this "major accomplishment". They have even gone as far as promising to buy her an expensive Lexus right out of undergrad, because "that is a car a doctor would have." I do not want a luxury car, just a little support🙁....Ok that is enough venting from me.

But I would like to know about the experiences of others and their coping strategies when they are met with opposition from family members when it comes to their career choice.
Thanks!

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[Syzygy117]

But really, I am going through a similar ordeal. I think it just comes down to people not understanding much about psychology or its scope. 👍

 

[MKE88]

Sorry to hear there are others dealing with this - it's tough to have no support from the fam. My mom laughed in my face (yes) when I told her the salary prospects for clinical psychology (I said 70k...thought I was being safe but apparently not). My dad thinks psych should just be a hobby. I'm not sure how to deal with parents like this, but I try to remember that I'm the one who has to live this life of mine, so I'd better try to do what I think will make me happiest.

 

[PsychGraduate]

I am just curious about how supportive other people's families are of their decision to go into psychology.

My family is not supportive at all, and it shows. For instance, whenever I say something that my parents do not agree with, they alway ask (cynically) "did Psychology teach you that?" The best example is when we went to see "Sixth Sense." When the main character, who was a child psychologist--which is what I want to be-- gets shot by his client, my parents immediately thought that would be my fate and tried to use the movie to talk me out of it.

I guess, from my family's perspective, they spent nearly 20 years investing in summer kiddie college, SAT prep, and private school, in order for me to become doctor. However, I threw it all away to become a psychologist. What they do not understand (and refuse to understand) is that all of their efforts helped me get into funded program with literally a 1.5% acceptance rate. What makes things even worse is that my sister is in medical school and my family is always talking about this "major accomplishment". They have even gone as far as promising to buy her an expensive Lexus right out of undergrad, because "that is a car a doctor would have." I do not want a luxury car, just a little support🙁....Ok that is enough venting from me.

But I would like to know about the experiences of others and their coping strategies when they are met with opposition from family members when it comes to their career choice.
Thanks!

First of all congratulations on your acceptance to a very very selective school! Second: how we respond to our struggles defines us. You cannot just change your parents minds, but maybe as you progress and succeed in a series of steps, they may give you more recognition. If not there is always using behavioral techniques to help sway their perception😀 Serisuly though, I who am just an anonymous poster want you to know you did great with following your dreams and passions and what's more, getting into a school you wanted to be in. Assuming you really wanted to get into that particular school... best of luck!

Not many people I know personally outside of schools and the field of psychology realize how vast and applicable psychology is at all. I originally wanted to actually be an M.D. and I did an extensive pre-med progam in conjunction with psychology courses and I realized I loved psychology more. A little different than your story but applicable I think. How I coped as an early student, is I explained atleast in a general overview the definition of, some of the branches of and applications of psychology and then explained that I could still work in some medical schools, hospitals and clinics. Nowadays I just talk about neuro and health psychological aspects on occasion when people inquire that choice... works > 93% of the time.

 

[VeggieDelight]

I feel like this should be an FB group- angry/dejected psychology hopefuls fight back? This is something that I've experienced ever since I decided to major in psychology, especially because I'm from a community where the norm is doctor or engineer and not being one of those may affect your marriage prospects (truth).

A bit of validation came recently when I met an academic (not in psychology, but from my community) and told them I was going into clinical psychology. They said they thought the world needed more clinical psychologists, which I immediately took to be sarcasm. They then proceeded to tell me that they underwent CBT when they experienced discrimination/subjugation from colleagues. The therapy helped them to overcome emotional problems in their lives due, in part, to their professional relationships. Now, I'm not saying everyone needs to see a professional psychologist to appreciate their work, but it seems to be the only way some people (or groups of people) will give it any credibility.

However! My parents and their friends have offered themselves up as research subjects because they think I'll find some interesting things. I think we're making progress!

 

[luckyoceania]

Apparently when I was in undergrad my mother used to refer to my courses in "basketweaving" (she wanted me to be a doctor, too.)

She's one of those common impossible-to-please parents so I'm glad I stopped trying to do the impossible at some point in highschool.

Oddly enough, she currently thinks psychology is super-interesting and awesome stuff to be studying. Nothing I said or did -- she came around all by herself. Who knew basketweaving could be so appealing!

Will her enthusiasm last? Who knows? But one thing's for sure, it doesn't affect my career decisions in any way. She chose her life path, and I'm the one who chooses mine. It's my expectations that I have to answer to, I wouldn't want to get sidetracked trying to build someone else's ideal life, and miss my one chance to build my own.

 

[somedude14]

I am just curious about how supportive other people's families are of their decision to go into psychology.

My family is not supportive at all, and it shows. For instance, whenever I say something that my parents do not agree with, they alway ask (cynically) "did Psychology teach you that?" The best example is when we went to see "Sixth Sense." When the main character, who was a child psychologist--which is what I want to be-- gets shot by his client, my parents immediately thought that would be my fate and tried to use the movie to talk me out of it.

Oh God, I thought my parents were the only ones who said such things. I know exactly what your going through. Yes, it sucks and despite your accomplishments your parents never seem to value it very much. That unfortunately, is society's view on psychology today. Clinical psychology, due to all the pop psych and inaccurate media crap, is viewed as something comparable to psychic readings. I wish I had some good advice to give you but I just wanted to tell you that you are not alone, in fact your probably in the majority as far as psych students are concerned. My parents are starting to come around very slowly after I've patiently tried to explain to them what psychology is and what it is not.

It's just a difficult process because many people have this distorted view of what psychology is. Hopefully, we can change this perception as the future generation of psychology and make it a respected science. (at least that is one of my goals, i want to be known as the dude who made psychology a worthy and respected science 🙂)

 

[zzzz2]

I am just curious about how supportive other people's families are of their decision to go into psychology.

My family is not supportive at all, and it shows. For instance, whenever I say something that my parents do not agree with, they alway ask (cynically) "did Psychology teach you that?" The best example is when we went to see "Sixth Sense." When the main character, who was a child psychologist--which is what I want to be-- gets shot by his client, my parents immediately thought that would be my fate and tried to use the movie to talk me out of it.

I guess, from my family's perspective, they spent nearly 20 years investing in summer kiddie college, SAT prep, and private school, in order for me to become doctor. However, I threw it all away to become a psychologist. What they do not understand (and refuse to understand) is that all of their efforts helped me get into funded program with literally a 1.5% acceptance rate. What makes things even worse is that my sister is in medical school and my family is always talking about this "major accomplishment". They have even gone as far as promising to buy her an expensive Lexus right out of undergrad, because "that is a car a doctor would have." I do not want a luxury car, just a little support🙁....Ok that is enough venting from me.

But I would like to know about the experiences of others and their coping strategies when they are met with opposition from family members when it comes to their career choice.
Thanks!

I feel for you. But you should remind your parents that you are indeed becoming a doctor. So ask them to buy an extra Lexus. An SC430 preferably 🙂

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I received more support from my folks than I did any of my friends or co-workers, they almost universally thought I was an idiot for walking away from a very successful career. Some of my extended family asked why I declined b-school and med school in fav. of clinical psychology, though they were still supportive. Most of my friends have come around, though it is admittedly hard to be reminded that I gave up financial security to be a psychologist.

 

[Mochabear]

I had to join sdn after seeing this thread... add me to the list. The basketweaving comment made me laugh, if only because my mom openly calls it hippy college (I'll take that over clown college any day)

I am wondering though - therapist4chnge, what do you mean about psychologists not having financial security (not an attack! Maybe I'm just embarrassingly uninformed, but you're scaring me a tiny bit🙁)

 

[Therapist4Chnge]

I am wondering though - therapist4chnge, what do you mean about psychologists not having financial security (not an attack! Maybe I'm just embarrassingly uninformed, but you're scaring me a tiny bit🙁)

My comment about "less" financial security was relative to my former career, where I was in line to make a lot more money than I'll probably make in psychology. Psychologists can live comfortably if they do some planning and make the right moves, so don't worry that you'll be living paycheck to paycheck. Some psychologists do quite well ($150k+), though I'd argue they'd probably make that amount of money regardless of their career choice.

 

[PhDToBe]

I am pretty lucky, because my parents are supportive. For those of you whose parents are not, perhaps you could explain to them in layperson's terms what you want to do? For example, someone interested in child psychology could tell their family that they want to help kids who were sexually abused...that's nothing to laugh at or be ashamed of doing. Someone interested in the research side of forensic psychology could explain to their family that they are examining effective crime prevention strategies...and that is clearly of importance.

 

[PhishGirl]

When people say something snarky about psychology, I just tell them about my thesis and watch their faces screw up with confusion. Take that, naysayers, you don't even know the grand scope of psychology! 🙂

I know how you feel, as my dad and my brothers aren't supportive either, but all I can tell you is to try to use it as motivation. One more person to prove wrong someday. And remember that YOU are the only one living YOUR LIFE. Do what makes you happy. Others can wallow in their negativity and doubt while you set your own world on fire.

You are already a success. Congratulations, and keep on keepin' on. 👍