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6GodPharm

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My friend and I both got into pharmacy school this year. suprisingly she just found out she’s pregnant and will be due in the middle of September. School starts in August. Nobody plans something like this to happen so please no insults. She’s worked very hard to get to where she is and didn’t think she will be in this situation. Please any suggestions as to how she can get help with the baby? She really wants to go to school and abortion is out because she might not give birth again . Who knows? She wants the baby and she’s by herself. Her family feels as though since she got pregnant she should handle everything and no one should help her. She’s the only person in her family to go this far in life, to go to school and even get a bachelors degree and by God’s grace gotten an admissions to pharmacy school. Her boyfriend lied to her to get in her pants. He saw how naive and young she was. He told her everything she wanted to hear. They even planned a future together in pharmacy school and after school. He goes to the same pharmacy school we are going and is telling her hurtful things such us he don’t love her, he can have any girl he wants, that the girl planned the pregnancy, he don’t want to be with her anymore and so on. He said the girl doesn’t listen and that he told her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to so oh well he’s not ready to be a father and can’t be forced. He’s telling people that the girl came unto him and he never even liked the girl and only showed interest after the girl came unto him. Currently my friend is OhKay and don’t want anything to do with the guy. She’s over him and looking forward at what’s ahead of her. Please if you could offer any advice or tips, we would appreciate it. Thanks
This profession is going straight to hell.
 
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Modest_anteater

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My friend and I both got into pharmacy school this year. suprisingly she just found out she’s pregnant and will be due in the middle of September. School starts in August. Nobody plans something like this to happen so please no insults. She’s worked very hard to get to where she is and didn’t think she will be in this situation. Please any suggestions as to how she can get help with the baby? She really wants to go to school and abortion is out because she might not give birth again . Who knows? She wants the baby and she’s by herself. Her family feels as though since she got pregnant she should handle everything and no one should help her. She’s the only person in her family to go this far in life, to go to school and even get a bachelors degree and by God’s grace gotten an admissions to pharmacy school. Her boyfriend lied to her to get in her pants. He saw how naive and young she was. He told her everything she wanted to hear. They even planned a future together in pharmacy school and after school. He goes to the same pharmacy school we are going and is telling her hurtful things such us he don’t love her, he can have any girl he wants, that the girl planned the pregnancy, he don’t want to be with her anymore and so on. He said the girl doesn’t listen and that he told her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to so oh well he’s not ready to be a father and can’t be forced. He’s telling people that the girl came unto him and he never even liked the girl and only showed interest after the girl came unto him. Currently my friend is OhKay and don’t want anything to do with the guy. She’s over him and looking forward at what’s ahead of her. Please if you could offer any advice or tips, we would appreciate it. Thanks
You friends needs to delay going to pharmacy school. There is no way a single mom with minimal support can raise a newborn and be successful in pharmacy school. Once her child is older apply to Roosevelt pharmacy school in Chicago where they have a day-care on campus. The other option is to get a abortion or put the child up for adoption.
 
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KennethCool

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Tell her that she's actually lucky it worked out this way. She should delay admission by 1 year. She'll be a P1 when her BF is a P2, making things easier for her by telling her all about the difficulties of certain classes in detail. Knowing things like "X professor takes most of the test material from the textbook he wrote so that you have to buy it" is very useful. She'll also get child support from the dad, even when he is in pharmacy school.

By the time she's a P4, she will be collecting child support from someone making over 100k. In my state, that would be about $1500 a month. That will make paying those student loans a lot easier.
 
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CetiAlphaFive

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My friend and I both got into pharmacy school this year. suprisingly she just found out she’s pregnant and will be due in the middle of September. School starts in August. Nobody plans something like this to happen so please no insults. She’s worked very hard to get to where she is and didn’t think she will be in this situation. Please any suggestions as to how she can get help with the baby? She really wants to go to school and abortion is out because she might not give birth again . Who knows? She wants the baby and she’s by herself. Her family feels as though since she got pregnant she should handle everything and no one should help her. She’s the only person in her family to go this far in life, to go to school and even get a bachelors degree and by God’s grace gotten an admissions to pharmacy school. Her boyfriend lied to her to get in her pants. He saw how naive and young she was. He told her everything she wanted to hear. They even planned a future together in pharmacy school and after school. He goes to the same pharmacy school we are going and is telling her hurtful things such us he don’t love her, he can have any girl he wants, that the girl planned the pregnancy, he don’t want to be with her anymore and so on. He said the girl doesn’t listen and that he told her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to so oh well he’s not ready to be a father and can’t be forced. He’s telling people that the girl came unto him and he never even liked the girl and only showed interest after the girl came unto him. Currently my friend is OhKay and don’t want anything to do with the guy. She’s over him and looking forward at what’s ahead of her. Please if you could offer any advice or tips, we would appreciate it. Thanks

How do you fit into it?
 
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CetiAlphaFive

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I’m helping a friend. Do you find a problem with that ?

Well I'd have to look for something to find it, no?

Just curious why you're so intent on helping.
 
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Lnsean

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So..you are asking for a friend....?
 
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lord999

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What's the problem? I had plenty of successful students with children in class. One particularly fecund couple had 4 in pharmacy school and they were both students without inlaws. This isn't PD James Cover Her Face where an out of wedlock child mother has to take up scullery or nunnery (both indications of the word) to get by.
 
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BC_89

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My friend and I both got into pharmacy school this year. suprisingly she just found out she’s pregnant and will be due in the middle of September. School starts in August. Nobody plans something like this to happen so please no insults. She’s worked very hard to get to where she is and didn’t think she will be in this situation. Please any suggestions as to how she can get help with the baby? She really wants to go to school and abortion is out because she might not give birth again . Who knows? She wants the baby and she’s by herself. Her family feels as though since she got pregnant she should handle everything and no one should help her. She’s the only person in her family to go this far in life, to go to school and even get a bachelors degree and by God’s grace gotten an admissions to pharmacy school. Her boyfriend lied to her to get in her pants. He saw how naive and young she was. He told her everything she wanted to hear. They even planned a future together in pharmacy school and after school. He goes to the same pharmacy school we are going and is telling her hurtful things such us he don’t love her, he can have any girl he wants, that the girl planned the pregnancy, he don’t want to be with her anymore and so on. He said the girl doesn’t listen and that he told her to get an abortion but she doesn’t want to so oh well he’s not ready to be a father and can’t be forced. He’s telling people that the girl came unto him and he never even liked the girl and only showed interest after the girl came unto him. Currently my friend is OhKay and don’t want anything to do with the guy. She’s over him and looking forward at what’s ahead of her. Please if you could offer any advice or tips, we would appreciate it. Thanks

1) Shorten the question like this :

Friend accepted to pharmacy school and pregnant (not planned) with no support and b/f not in the picture. What should she do?

....We don’t need the “filler-white-noise” background....

2) SDN is not the place. Seek outside help before acting frantic on the internet. Emotions will get caught up to both serious and sardonic answers on here.

3) Child needs her/his mother more than mother needs that semester of schooling. Take that year off and meet those needs. Pharmacy schools aren’t going anywhere (unfortunately).

Get child support and push schooling to a future date. Not sure what other option she wants to hear. If she has support school is doable (tough but doable).
 
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NorthSide1

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SDN is not the place for these types of questions....
 
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PharmDBro2017

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Sounds like condoms would’ve been a great idea, or birth control... what do I know I’m just a druggist!


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PharmtoCS

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Boyfriend might not be there but pharmacy schools will always be there for her.

As long as she qualifies for $200k+ in student loans.
 
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lord999

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I still don't see the problem. Pharmacy school 1st year is not so difficult that you can't have a child during it especially if you have in-laws. It's not a disaster, it's not the end of the world, but your friend has to be disciplined about getting through both. If not, @BC_89 's advice is accurate and waiting should be done while she gets her life back together from this "tragedy". Also, FYI, we are not psychologists (probably the furthest from it) on this forum, but it is hard not to see that you are emotionally invested in the outcome based on your writing.
 
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steveysmith54

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People deal with situations differently. Only your friend knows what she is capable of doing or not doing in regards to taking care of her baby.

Your friend should seek information from her school pertaining to any maternity leave or child care services that the school provides. Also speak to social services for eligibility for Medicaid and welfare, if applicable
 
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Dalteparin

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I still don't see the problem. Pharmacy school 1st year is not so difficult that you can't have a child during it especially if you have in-laws. It's not a disaster, it's not the end of the world, but your friend has to be disciplined about getting through both. If not, @BC_89 's advice is accurate and waiting should be done while she gets her life back together from this "tragedy". Also, FYI, we are not psychologists (probably the furthest from it) on this forum, but it is hard not to see that you are emotionally invested in the outcome based on your writing.

I was going to post something similar. Multiple classmates of mine became parents during pharmacy school or were already parents when we started and still managed to get through it. Hell, a couple of the parents even got in to Rho Chi! If your friend learns to prioritize ruthlessly, she’ll be all right.


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CetiAlphaFive

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I was going to post something similar. Multiple classmates of mine became parents during pharmacy school or were already parents when we started and still managed to get through it. Hell, a couple of the parents even got in to Rho Chi! If your friend learns to prioritize ruthlessly, she’ll be all right.


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You guys are exactly right that a driven, self aware, determined individual can thrive in a program despite the stress and interruption of childbirth.

I think the problem people are seeing is that OP's "friend" seems to be the type of person to blame others and begrudge anyone who isn't helping her out of the situation she created.

I could be totally wrong.
 
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Natty103

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I was going to post something similar. Multiple classmates of mine became parents during pharmacy school or were already parents when we started and still managed to get through it. Hell, a couple of the parents even got in to Rho Chi! If your friend learns to prioritize ruthlessly, she’ll be all right.


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Thank you for this, even if we have to get a nanny or day care or pay someone to stay with her for a little while, we will. I’ve seen many elderly people and married people in pharmacy schools.
 
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Natty103

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What's the problem? I had plenty of successful students with children in class. One particularly fecund couple had 4 in pharmacy school and they were both students without inlaws. This isn't PD James Cover Her Face where an out of wedlock child mother has to take up scullery or nunnery (both indications of the word) to get by.
Thanks for replying. She is currently looking for help anywhere she can get it. If it’s to get a nanny or day care or someone to stay with her for a little while to help with the child. The school starts August 20th (first day of classes) and she’s due sept. 16th but that’s subject to change. The best case scenario is if the baby comes right before school starts.
 
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sakigt

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She needs to get a job.

1. She has no help
2. Shell have baby mama drama at school
3. Pharmacy school is expensive, and the market is tough.
 

Apotheker2015

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Thank you for this, even if we have to get a nanny or day care or pay someone to stay with her for a little while, we will. I’ve seen many elderly people and married people in pharmacy schools.

*elderly? LOL

The best course of action is for your friend to avoid pharmacy school altogether. An accelerated BSN is a much better option for your friend.
She could also pursue a degree in Health Information Management. Basically, she'll graduate to be a supervisor/manager/auditor of hospital coders. She already has a bachelor's. Most schools would likely only require her to take major-specific coursework. She would be in and out in a year, maybe 1.5 years. Pay is ok, actually. Coders at the VA do well and you can't beat the benefits. For the most part, these are telecommute positions, which would be perfect for a single mother.
That's my humble opinion.
 
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Natty103

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*elderly? LOL

The best course of action is for your friend to avoid pharmacy school altogether. An accelerated BSN is a much better option for your friend.
She could also pursue a degree in Health Information Management. Basically, she'll graduate to be a supervisor/manager/auditor of hospital coders. She already has a bachelor's. Most schools would likely only require her to take major-specific coursework. She would be in and out in a year, maybe 1.5 years. Pay is ok, actually. Coders at the VA do well and you can't beat the benefits. For the most part, these are telecommute positions, which would be perfect for a single mother.
That's my humble opinion.
Thanks for replying. It’s better to pursue something she’s always wanted to do all her life and fail at it than to regret not trying at all in the future
 
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Apotheker2015

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Thanks for replying. It’s better to pursue something she’s always wanted to do all her life and fail at it than to regret not trying at all in the future

Like I said... that's my humble opinion. I am a pharmacist and I am well aware of the current state of saturation. All the best to your friend.
 
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thecoolpharmboi

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Thanks for replying. She is currently looking for help anywhere she can get it. If it’s to get a nanny or day care or someone to stay with her for a little while to help with the child. The school starts August 20th (first day of classes) and she’s due sept. 16th but that’s subject to change. The best case scenario is if the baby comes right before school starts.

“Best scenario if baby comes right before the school starts”? So it’s best if he/she comes early? Preterm? Don’t know how’s that’s best.

Also...delay the school year. I think she can wait a year to start, you don’t want to miss the first few months of the baby. Plus I would lawyer up and get that bastard of a “boyfriend” to financially support your friend beginning of delivery. So he better be paying child support while he’s in school. What a jerk that SOB is (personally I would’ve oust that person to the entire P1 class and shame him, but that’s the childish side of me).
 

CetiAlphaFive

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“Best scenario if baby comes right before the school starts”? So it’s best if he/she comes early? Preterm? Don’t know how’s that’s best.

Also...delay the school year. I think she can wait a year to start, you don’t want to miss the first few months of the baby. Plus I would lawyer up and get that bastard of a “boyfriend” to financially support your friend beginning of delivery. So he better be paying child support while he’s in school. What a jerk that SOB is (personally I would’ve oust that person to the entire P1 class and shame him, but that’s the childish side of me).
Yikes, I just noticed that.

Not sure what kind of...person... wishes their kid would be born a month early so it doesn't affect their schedule.
 
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BidingMyTime

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There were people in my pharmacy school who had newborns. Some completed school....some didn't. Doing ANYTHING with a newborn, will be exponentially harder, than doing it without a newborn, but certainly something like completing pharmacy school can be done. Although I agree with everyone else, she needs to defer a year. Having a baby 1 month into pharmacy school, it will be extremely difficult to complete that semester. Not impossible, but it will be much easier if she takes a year off. By next year, she'll have figured out child care for when she is in classes (a necessity) and have a routine down for the baby, making it easier to add in studying.
 
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Chriskahn

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Its doable, but its not going to be easy at all. My classmate was pregnant during interviews and had her son a couple months before her P1 year started. She was a single parent from out of state so she had zero help. Our school had no child care options at the time (they do now that we are about to graduate, shes pissed lol)

Anyways, she had to work twice, maybe even three times harder in comparison to other students to be successful in school. This means being very good with time management and making lots of sacrifices, sleep being one of them. She had to study when the baby was sleeping, and find daycare for when she has class and labs. She often missed a ton of class and had to study on her own.

I had a baby also during 2nd year but my wife stayed home to take care of her and even that was tough for me. So I cant really imagine being a single parent during pharmacy school. Its tough but like I said its doable. My classmate's grades aren't the best but she will still graduate
 
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BidingMyTime

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Yikes, I just noticed that.
Not sure what kind of...person... wishes their kid would be born a month early so it doesn't affect their schedule.

Someone who is completely ignorant that being born a month early will almost certainly mean time spent in a premmie unit. Possibly an extended stay in the premmie unit if their baby gets sick or has any other issues. I might be being generous in assuming this woman is ignorant....but it does seem that 1st time moms with no health care experience really thing being born a month early just means the baby will be smaller, they have no knowledge of the health ramifications that can mean.
 
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rph3664

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She already has a bachelor's degree? In what?

All you can or should do is be supportive, and the "boyfriend" will end up burying himself in his own crap. If she has and keeps the baby, she does need a child support order in place, if nothing else. Going to the same school as the sperm donor would be awfully uncomfortable, that's for sure.
 
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Natty103

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There were people in my pharmacy school who had newborns. Some completed school....some didn't. Doing ANYTHING with a newborn, will be exponentially harder, than doing it without a newborn, but certainly something like completing pharmacy school can be done. Although I agree with everyone else, she needs to defer a year. Having a baby 1 month into pharmacy school, it will be extremely difficult to complete that semester. Not impossible, but it will be much easier if she takes a year off. By next year, she'll have figured out child care for when she is in classes (a necessity) and have a routine down for the baby, making it easier to add in studying.
We’ve been able to find a child care place that accepts one month old babies and above from 7:am to 5:30pm
 

BidingMyTime

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We’ve been able to find a child care place that accepts one month old babies and above from 7:am to 5:30pm

That is pretty good....assuming OP doesn't have any labs that run late or classes scheduled past 5:00pm (and that's assuming she can make it from her class to the childcare place in 30 minutes. Another thing, a back-up system is a must, as childcare won't take children, and if the baby develops a fever during the day, they will call the parent and expect the parent/back-up caregiver to immediately come and pick up the child.
 
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Natty103

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Y'all she waited a year and started the following year. her program is accelerated and she graduates in MAY!!
 
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BidingMyTime

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Y'all she waited a year and started the following year. her program is accelerated and she graduates in MAY!!

Congratulations! Waiting a year was an excellent decision, given the circumstances. You can level with us now, were you the mom, the mom's new boyfriend, or the mom's own mother?
 
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Xenophylia

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Congratulations! Waiting a year was an excellent decision, given the circumstances. You can level with us now, were you the mom, the mom's new boyfriend, or the mom's own mother?
Waiting a lifetime would have been an even better decision....
 
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John Muir

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Y'all she waited a year and started the following year. her program is accelerated and she graduates in MAY!!
How is the baby? Happy, Healthy? Did they end up being preterm by a month as was wished? Boy or girl? I feel so emotionally invested!
 
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