Tactful way to do this?

[MrBurns10]

So, my boyfriend and I have the same top choice school; he was accepted, I got waitlisted. I've heard of instances where a husband/wife or fiance/fiancee pair talk to the dean of admissions of the school about their situation and sometimes they're actually sympathetic towards it. The problem is that, although we've dated for a couple years, we're not officially engaged (yet?). My question is do you think it's okay for my boyfriend to talk to the dean about it even though we're not "official", and if so, is there a tactful way to do it? I plan on writing a letter of intent anyway, but I may need all the help I can get. Thanks for any thoughts.

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[Law2Doc]

So, my boyfriend and I have the same top choice school; he was accepted, I got waitlisted. I've heard of instances where a husband/wife or fiance/fiancee pair talk to the dean of admissions of the school about their situation and sometimes they're actually sympathetic towards it. The problem is that, although we've dated for a couple years, we're not officially engaged (yet?). My question is do you think it's okay for my boyfriend to talk to the dean about it even though we're not "official", and if so, is there a tactful way to do it? I plan on writing a letter of intent anyway, but I may need all the help I can get. Thanks for any thoughts.

If you haven't made a firm committment yet, no school is going to be particularly sympathetic. Lots of relationships break up during the rigors of med school, so schools aren't going to be particularly flexible where you have a less than permanent relationship.

 

[halperinj]

So, my boyfriend and I have the same top choice school; he was accepted, I got waitlisted. I've heard of instances where a husband/wife or fiance/fiancee pair talk to the dean of admissions of the school about their situation and sometimes they're actually sympathetic towards it. The problem is that, although we've dated for a couple years, we're not officially engaged (yet?). My question is do you think it's okay for my boyfriend to talk to the dean about it even though we're not "official", and if so, is there a tactful way to do it? I plan on writing a letter of intent anyway, but I may need all the help I can get. Thanks for any thoughts.

My fiancee and I are in a similar situation in that she is appying for a PhD in Public Health. It made a big difference to the admissions comittee when they heard we were both applying to the same school. One school, in particular, told us they try to never break up families. Yet, each school asked for the date of the actual wedding and inferred they could only help if our date was confirmed and set.

Good luck!!

By the way, getting married June 3rd, very excited, but planned in advance of contacting adcoms.

 

[unfrozencaveman]

Better hope they don't talk to pitt Burnsy. I already told them you and I were together to get in off the waitlist.

 

[FrkyBgStok]

unfortunately from what i understand the schools are only sympathetic to made families. boyfriend and girlfriend are usually not worth it.

 

[MrBurns10]

Better hope they don't talk to pitt Burnsy. I already told them you and I were together to get in off the waitlist.

Easy enough explanation: I'm a bisexual male Mormon. Consider yourself accepted.

Thanks for the comments. The consensus is that it wouldn't help, but would it hurt/is it inappropriate to bring it up to the dean just in case? Or is this just better left unsaid?

 

[Krazykritter]

IMO, it would be extremely inappropriate w/out a confirmed wedding date or even a ring on the finger...I agree w/ the others about b/f and g/f not being worth it for the schools.

 

[Moto]

Have a ring on my finger, have a wedding date. So far the ONLY school that has made an attempt to take this into consideration is Vermont. I got an interview w/ them, and my fiance asked if he can have one too on the same day. We're awaiting. It would be great if this comes through, but I'm not getting my hopes up again. It's a tough road to even get in the same state, let alone the same city.

But to all of you guys that are trying, I wish you all the luck. I know this process is that much harder. I can't enjoy my acceptance the same way that a person applying on his own. Four years apart is difficult to deal with.

 

[lyn2006]

My fiance and I have done this, and don't have a set wedding date (since we won't get married till after M1 at the earliest).

We've had 3 interviews (so far) on the same day. Only 1 school asked about when the wedding would be and they didn't seem to care that we didn't have an exact date set. The 1 school that we've both heard back from (and were accepted to!) didn't ask either of us when we were getting married, and the acceptance letters were dated on different days... which leads me to believe that we both got in on our own merits - not because we're engaged.