Talking about family problems in essays/interview

[ProspectiveKidd]

I would think this is probably pretty common...everyone has their issues. However I don't know what to think in terms of admissions. My gut tells me it would paint me as vulnerable.

for example, my father was not very involved in my life and had problems with alcohol, drugs, and relationships because of his father and family life. I have had some difficulty with relationships myself almost certainly because of this (would not be something I mention). Im really interested in psychiatry because now that I am older I see the effect it has on the entire family unit. I never really had a male role model to show me what to do when I was younger and I think its a big reason why I hesitated so long going back to school (nontrad). Am I going to stigmatize myself?

There are also big positives such as the independence and work ethic that accompanies it, which came from not having him around.

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[NotASerialKiller]

Definitely don't talk about that last part. No one in an admissions office wants to hear about how you blame perceived flaws or mistakes on a parent.

 

[moisne]

I would think this is probably pretty common...everyone has their issues. However I don't know what to think in terms of admissions. My gut tells me it would paint me as vulnerable.

for example, my father was not very involved in my life and had problems with alcohol, drugs, and relationships because of his father and family life (relevance???) . I have had some difficulty with relationships myself almost certainly because of this (would not be something I mention) (ok good , at least you realize you should NOT mention this). Im really interested in psychiatry because now that I am older I see the effect it has on the entire family unit (Uh.......... Don't use that as a reason... comes across as "i'm so ****en broken, I hope med school will tell me why i'm broken and then I can tell my patients why they are broken"). I never really had a male role model to show me what to do when I was younger and I think its a big reason why I hesitated so long going back to school (nontrad) (Many people who don't have male role models make it out of self drive... You make it sound like you have no intrinsic motivation). Am I going to stigmatize myself? (Yes)

There are also big positives such as the independence and work ethic that accompanies it, which came from not having him around. How about you just leave it at - I had an independent childhood? And here is what I learned... and here is why it will make me a good doctor.

 

[ProspectiveKidd]

Well I think there is relevance to the first part because it shows I was able to do well for myself with only one busy parent in the household. I would imagine most medical students come from households with both parents in the home and greater family stability than I had. I do see what you mean though and you make good points. Thanks

 

[bigpapi69]

Firstly, please forgive my username. I made it as a joke, and in no way do I intend to belittle the discussion here. I have to disagree with the aforementioned opinions on mentioning your self directed analysis as to why it took you a while to return to school. However, it will depend upon how eloquently you present the subject, as it clearly could be construed negatively. Some analysis on the impact it has had in your life is something I would be motivated to read more about, and I think it shows a much needed level of self-awareness in the application. Again, only an opinion. For what it's worth, I discussed family dynamics in my essays, and I have gotten interviews at top 20 schools, but I took great care to be delicate with how I went about it.

When all else fails, you have to submit whatever you want to convey to the reader, with no particular reader in mind. Be GENUINE. Not everyone will like it, and thats fine, but some will resonate. That is how the process goes. Best of luck.

 

[moisne]

Well I think there is relevance to the first part because it shows I was able to do well for myself with only one busy parent in the household. I would imagine most medical students come from households with both parents in the home and greater family stability than I had. I do see what you mean though and you make good points. Thanks

No problem
Yes. Single parent households aren't the easiest. But considering 50% of marriages are divorced :/

If you were POOR... 😀 talk about that! In the right way...

 

[Glazedonutlove]

I would think this is probably pretty common...everyone has their issues. However I don't know what to think in terms of admissions. My gut tells me it would paint me as vulnerable.

for example, my father was not very involved in my life and had problems with alcohol, drugs, and relationships because of his father and family life. I have had some difficulty with relationships myself almost certainly because of this (would not be something I mention). Im really interested in psychiatry because now that I am older I see the effect it has on the entire family unit. I never really had a male role model to show me what to do when I was younger and I think its a big reason why I hesitated so long going back to school (nontrad). Am I going to stigmatize myself?

There are also big positives such as the independence and work ethic that accompanies it, which came from not having him around.

If you do this, make sure you emphasize that you have moved on completely. And don't imply you can't make decisions in your application, especially if you plan on attributing it to your family members

 

[breezy16]

Firstly, please forgive my username. I made it as a joke, and in no way do I intend to belittle the discussion here. I have to disagree with the aforementioned opinions on mentioning your self directed analysis as to why it took you a while to return to school. However, it will depend upon how eloquently you present the subject, as it clearly could be construed negatively. Some analysis on the impact it has had in your life is something I would be motivated to read more about, and I think it shows a much needed level of self-awareness in the application. Again, only an opinion. For what it's worth, I discussed family dynamics in my essays, and I have gotten interviews at top 20 schools, but I took great care to be delicate with how I went about it.

When all else fails, you have to submit whatever you want to convey to the reader, with no particular reader in mind. Be GENUINE. Not everyone will like it, and thats fine, but some will resonate. That is how the process goes. Best of luck.

+1
It's all about how you present it / take away from adversities --> translate to stronger self.
Be strong and eloquent, tell a story from beginning to end.
Good luck!

 

[ProspectiveKidd]

don't imply you can't make decisions in your application, especially if you plan on attributing it to your family members

The reason i did not attend college after HS is because I did not know what I wanted to do. Now I do, for many reasons unrelated to family, and Im working hard at it. I don't necessarily think that would be viewed negatively. I do understand you're using the family context for your reply however. Thanks for the input.

I do have quite a ways to go before interviewing is even a concern, but I just want to prepare myself.

 

[E=mc^2]

I think its very important to emphasize family problems in an interview/secondary if they are something that makes you unique and that you have learned from. For example, I am a reapplicant. I applied last year (sent my apps in very late, in December). One of the schools I did not get interviewed at last cycle I applied to this cycle. For me everything was very similar except I had more work experience, I applied earlier, and I changed my essay. I wrote a killer diversity essay. I talked about family struggles I had growing up and how they have shaped me into a better person. My story was unique and well written. I truly believe that was a huge reason i got an interview at the school.

So I would definitely advocate discussing family difficulties that you have overcome. However, I would not in any way state anything negative about yourself. You'd be best talking about disadvantages you faced with family members growing up and then stating why they have made you a stronger person, and/or why they motivated you to pursue a career in medicine.