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Sorry guys, but unfortunately i do not consider myself as a great writer. I definitely feel that my writing performance is lacking in terms of development, word choice, grammar, and fluency (when i compare it to the KAPLAN examples). I was wondering if you guys could by help me out by assessing my essay prompts especially the conclusion (seems like the most difficult to me). Additionally, how do you guys brainstorm (or do you guys even brainstorm? - seems like a waste of time)? what should i be focusing on before i start each prompt? What are the essay graders looking for? do you guys think the length is okay? sorry, i know these are vague questions. Be very critical.
prompt 1
Progress often complicates more than it simplifies
Progress or the transition from the old to the new has been pinnacle to the natural world. This kind of change has existed ever since the Big Bang billions and billions of years ago. It implies constant improvement. Progression, in terms of a historical context involves a simple idea that leads to a better functioning society whether it be from a political or economic stand point. Although progression is thought to make the society function smoother, the road to the desired goal demands the mobilization of the masses, which in many cases have resulted in chaos.
When a reform is implemented, it bifurcates the people. Protesters denounce the idea because it may conflict with the status quo. Consider the late 80's. China's economy was stagnated after the passing of Mao Zedong. Numerous individuals from the Chinese Communist Party along with the Chairman decided to rejuvenate its economy through a reform that would be lenient to capitalism. However, at the time, many citizens lost their jobs and the result was the Tiananmen Square Massacre. In the late 20's, MADD successfully implemented prohibition that led the U.S. into its most violent decade yet. Moreover, following the Great Depression, former President Franklin D. Roosevelt took charge and implemented a series of reforms called the Alphabet Soup. Although he was successful in his attempts to drag the U.S. economy back to its feet, he had to endure tremendous criticisms not only from his own political party, but also his opposing party, the Republicans. In fact, despite his successes, many have accused him of being a communist.
However, there are others that believe progress simplifies more than it complicates. In terms of scientific research, safety is of top priority. In fact, there have been many reforms to regulate safety within the scientific community. Numerous companies from Eli Lily to Merc have acknowledged these issues and implemented simple protocols that follow strict safety codes. Another example involves the hectic schedule of a college student. Throughout his academic career, he is bombarded with homework, exams, and work. However, in order to achieve more leisure time, he must have the capacity to manage his time wisely, which of course will pay off in the future.
History has often been immersed in progress, a continual transition to the better. However, with progress comes great opposition among its people because it conflicts and deviates from normal ideology. In order for these reforms and policies to work, the society as a whole will have to mobilize. In contrast, the road to progress does appear to simplify when its applied to only a small group or an individual because it forgoes the necessity of mobilizing the masses. Therefore, in order for society to transition into the future, reforms must be acknowledged and agreed upon in order for the process continue without hinderance.
Essay prompt 2
Laws cannot change social values.
Laws are implemented by the governing to render a moral compass, a guide for society to utilize. The governed must acknowledge these rules and regulations promote an efficient society. However, there are also cultural values that hold greater weight among groups of citizens that reside in a given country. These social values are passed on from generation to generation and are instilled within the young and last until death. These intimate ties are held with the highest respects even in the face of the law because the environment in which these individuals flourished have tremendous impact on their moral fiber.
Cultural ties are strong and relevant even in the most modernized countries. For example, in asian culture, respecting the elders in the community is a vital component among the many unwritten rules of society. There have been numerous occasion where an elder is caught speeding through the streets and let off with a simple warning. In gang culture, many lower rank individuals volunteer to become scapegoats for others in upper echelon. More recently, the ousting of the Chinese Communist Party politician bo, provided an example of the weak rule of law, in where party members believe they are above the laws that govern the rest of society. When these member commit a crime, the consequences are applied within the Party itself, instead of the retributions that apply to society.
However, many have argued that laws do indeed have the capacity to mold and change social values. The U.S. enforces a strong rule of law; no one can escape the power of the law. In American society, crimes such as the death penalty exist and no matter how much weight is given to social customs, americans comply with many of the strict regulations that are applied to society. Moreover, prison sentences are extremely extensive. Some may have to serve a prison sentence for life without parole. Unlike other countries, such as Holland, where prison sentences are more than 50 % shorter, society will be forced to reconsider the consequences even if it means going against their customs.
Social values are respected and intimately connected to a given individual's origin. These ties are strongly linked and participate in life style and decisions made throughout life. However, when extreme consequences are considered, such as capital punishment or life in prison, many individuals are forced to adapt, satisfying both the rules of the govern and cultural values.
prompt 1
Progress often complicates more than it simplifies
Progress or the transition from the old to the new has been pinnacle to the natural world. This kind of change has existed ever since the Big Bang billions and billions of years ago. It implies constant improvement. Progression, in terms of a historical context involves a simple idea that leads to a better functioning society whether it be from a political or economic stand point. Although progression is thought to make the society function smoother, the road to the desired goal demands the mobilization of the masses, which in many cases have resulted in chaos.
When a reform is implemented, it bifurcates the people. Protesters denounce the idea because it may conflict with the status quo. Consider the late 80's. China's economy was stagnated after the passing of Mao Zedong. Numerous individuals from the Chinese Communist Party along with the Chairman decided to rejuvenate its economy through a reform that would be lenient to capitalism. However, at the time, many citizens lost their jobs and the result was the Tiananmen Square Massacre. In the late 20's, MADD successfully implemented prohibition that led the U.S. into its most violent decade yet. Moreover, following the Great Depression, former President Franklin D. Roosevelt took charge and implemented a series of reforms called the Alphabet Soup. Although he was successful in his attempts to drag the U.S. economy back to its feet, he had to endure tremendous criticisms not only from his own political party, but also his opposing party, the Republicans. In fact, despite his successes, many have accused him of being a communist.
However, there are others that believe progress simplifies more than it complicates. In terms of scientific research, safety is of top priority. In fact, there have been many reforms to regulate safety within the scientific community. Numerous companies from Eli Lily to Merc have acknowledged these issues and implemented simple protocols that follow strict safety codes. Another example involves the hectic schedule of a college student. Throughout his academic career, he is bombarded with homework, exams, and work. However, in order to achieve more leisure time, he must have the capacity to manage his time wisely, which of course will pay off in the future.
History has often been immersed in progress, a continual transition to the better. However, with progress comes great opposition among its people because it conflicts and deviates from normal ideology. In order for these reforms and policies to work, the society as a whole will have to mobilize. In contrast, the road to progress does appear to simplify when its applied to only a small group or an individual because it forgoes the necessity of mobilizing the masses. Therefore, in order for society to transition into the future, reforms must be acknowledged and agreed upon in order for the process continue without hinderance.
Essay prompt 2
Laws cannot change social values.
Laws are implemented by the governing to render a moral compass, a guide for society to utilize. The governed must acknowledge these rules and regulations promote an efficient society. However, there are also cultural values that hold greater weight among groups of citizens that reside in a given country. These social values are passed on from generation to generation and are instilled within the young and last until death. These intimate ties are held with the highest respects even in the face of the law because the environment in which these individuals flourished have tremendous impact on their moral fiber.
Cultural ties are strong and relevant even in the most modernized countries. For example, in asian culture, respecting the elders in the community is a vital component among the many unwritten rules of society. There have been numerous occasion where an elder is caught speeding through the streets and let off with a simple warning. In gang culture, many lower rank individuals volunteer to become scapegoats for others in upper echelon. More recently, the ousting of the Chinese Communist Party politician bo, provided an example of the weak rule of law, in where party members believe they are above the laws that govern the rest of society. When these member commit a crime, the consequences are applied within the Party itself, instead of the retributions that apply to society.
However, many have argued that laws do indeed have the capacity to mold and change social values. The U.S. enforces a strong rule of law; no one can escape the power of the law. In American society, crimes such as the death penalty exist and no matter how much weight is given to social customs, americans comply with many of the strict regulations that are applied to society. Moreover, prison sentences are extremely extensive. Some may have to serve a prison sentence for life without parole. Unlike other countries, such as Holland, where prison sentences are more than 50 % shorter, society will be forced to reconsider the consequences even if it means going against their customs.
Social values are respected and intimately connected to a given individual's origin. These ties are strongly linked and participate in life style and decisions made throughout life. However, when extreme consequences are considered, such as capital punishment or life in prison, many individuals are forced to adapt, satisfying both the rules of the govern and cultural values.
is all I did when I read the post.
