That nagging doubt

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reluctantoptimism

Shrews and Trucks
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Does anyone else have that constant nagging doubt that they won't make it? Lately, I've been more blue and having an unshakeable feeling that I just won't make despite people asserting the contrary. I won't finish undergrad soon due to financial issues so I have to find a job and I just feel like a loser.

My GPA is good and I've done things in college but I just feel like a loser who will never amount to anything. Due to medical issues, I'm 23 with no bachelors (yet) and I STILL live at home. My medical issues required me to withdraw a few times and now, when I'm finally healthy, I have no financial aid and I cannot get it back ( I've tried). My parent qualifies for a private loan but they're hesitant to cosign because they feel as though it will be a burden to them. I just keep contemplating that my life will never improve.

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I'm going to be really real with you, OP.

I had the nagging doubt too. No matter what I did, how much I did, or how well I did it, I felt like a failure. And for me, the reason behind it was that I learned at a young age that my perception of value relied on things that I did. And that, as a person, I did not have intrinsic value- and so I had to constantly prove I was "worth something". That was largely pushed by upbringing in my case, although for you it could be different.

Imposter syndrome is particularly common with women in professional fields, and it can occur with anyone. (The thought that you are less capable than your accomplishments portray, that you "may be found out a liar or less competent than you seem", etc.)

What helped me was to make every little thing a goal. Getting out of bed? Woo, a goal! It helped when I was fighting depression, and I have to remind myself to keep taking care of me- because it's a lifestyle choice. You have intrinsic value, OP, just by being you. You have accomplished graduating high school, and you can graduate college. You can be a physician, or whatever you feel called to do. You have power. Don't forget that.
 
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Actually, in this process, you should ALWAYS be thinking that you "won't make it". It's crucial to always have a Plan B.

This is a marathon, not a sprint, so work for a few years and save up some money, then go back to school. Med schools aren't going anywhere, and there's no law that says you have to matriculate at age 23.

Does anyone else have that constant nagging doubt that they won't make it? Lately, I've been more blue and having an unshakeable feeling that I just won't make despite people asserting the contrary. I won't finish undergrad soon due to financial issues so I have to find a job and I just feel like a loser.

My GPA is good and I've done things in college but I just feel like a loser who will never amount to anything. Due to medical issues, I'm 23 with no bachelors (yet) and I STILL live at home. My medical issues required me to withdraw a few times and now, when I'm finally healthy, I have no financial aid and I cannot get it back ( I've tried). My parent qualifies for a private loan but they're hesitant to cosign because they feel as though it will be a burden to them. I just keep contemplating that my life will never improve.
 
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If you're not doubting yourself, you're not doing it right. Like @Goro said, it's a marathon, not a sprint. I often have the issue of thinking about it the other way around....:shrug:

Good luck to you, though
 
every second, i doubt myself. you are not alone. *virtual group hug
 
You're definitely not the only one OP. But it's good to have that feeling, as long as you keep it constructive, because it helps push you to be a better applicant, and to be well-prepared in case things don't work out as hoped.
 
Just give it 100% effort. once the apps are in, there isnt much we can do about it anyhow.
 
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