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I spun down the road as snow fell like blankets onto my car. I could barely see the road through my icy windshield as my car slid along the road heading in the general direction of the hospital. Hopefully, I'll get there alive in my car, and not by ambulance and be my own first patient. I shook off the ice and walked through the double doors.
"Hey, Bob. How's it going?" I asked our long time Department Director. Doctor Bob was a super nice guy, and a pillar of the community, really. He tried to "have the backs" of the pit docs as much as he could. Most of the time he sided with Administration, to save his own job. I can't really blame him.
"Oh, I'd be fine if it wasn't for the brutal headache and nausea. Thank God for Zofran," he said.
"Oh yeah? Got a virus, or something?" I wondered.
"Oh, no. Hangover. Brutal one. Haven't had one like this is in forever. A bunch of us went out last night with ------ ------- (hugely powerful and influential person)."
"What!? You know him? Personally?" I asked, stunned.
"I know him from my college days. I don't really tell many people because of his high profile," Director Bob explained.
"Oh, I can completely see why," I said.
"He's a complete party animal, really. Not at all like his public image. We got so drunk, I hardly remember a thing. I think we went to a bunch of bars, and maybe a party. All I know is, it got insane. Really insane. Totally out of control, " said Doctor Bob.
"Yeah, by the way you look, I believe you. I'm starting my shift now. Let me know if you need any IV fluids or anything," I said.
"Alright. Thanks," he answered. "Oh by the way, did you hear, it looks like Lisa and I are getting back together. She's letting me move back in with her and the kids."
"Wow. That's great. Glad to hear it," I said. I then bolted off to start my shift.
I went in to see the first patient, with Brittany the nurse. "Jane Doe," 24-year old female in room 1. Chief complaint, "Female problem."
"Ah, yes. The classic 'female problem,'" I muttered to myself. With that chief complaint, you just never know what you're going to get. I walked in the room with the nurse and sitting on the stretcher was a twenty something year old female, and in a chair next to her, a female friend the same age. "Hi, I'm Dr. Bird, what can we do to help you today?"
"I need to be check for STDs [sexually transmitted diseases] and I want the morning-after pill," she said.
"Tell him. Tell him what happened!" her friend urged nervously.
"No way," she chastised her friend. "I wanna get out I here as soon as possible."
"She was raped!" the friend blurted out. "She was raped by (----- -------)!" she quipped as Jane the patient swung her arm over and slugged her friend on the shoulder. "Ouch! You have to tell him!" she said with urgent eyes bulging.
"No I don't," the patient said. "Just make sure I don't get some disease or get pregnant and get me the hell out of here." She started to get tearful.
"It was ----- ------," her friend blurted out,"and his piece of s--- friends that were with him."
Ho-ly-, crap, I thought to my self. My jaw absolutely dropped to the floor. She just said the name of ---- -----[hugely powerful and influential person that my boss had been out with last night). Whoa. Whoa. WHAT?! This was not good. It really wasn't very good to begin with and it just got a million times worse. Whoa.
We all just looked at each other. "I know," Jane the patient said, now crying. "It's bad. Really bad. I don't want this to get out. God knows what could happen to me if this got out. Is this confidential?"
"Absolutely yes, it is," I answered. "It is strictly up to you if you want to press charges, also."
"No," she said. "No way."
"Ok, I understand. If you want, we can do an evidence collection kit, just in case you change your mind," I added.
"No way," she said again. "If I blew the lid off this, who knows what could happen? Who knows? I could end up dead. I have my own, proof though. Just in case. For my own protection."
"I understand. I really doubt anything like you're thinking, would happen, but I understand. It's your decision. I completely understand. We'll help you no matter what you decide," I said.
Her friend chimed in, "No, you don't understand. We know way more about this guy than you even want to know. It's in everybody's interest, that this never gets out. NEVER. And that includes from you, or anyone."
"Oh, I know. Trust me, I know," I answered, desperately wishing I had picked up the "cockroach in kid's ear" patient I skipped over to see "female problem." We finished the exam, she got her discharge papers, walked out of room 1 and went out the door.
"Hey, Bird," it was my boss, Dr. Bob, the Department Director. "Meet me in room 1. I think I do need some of those IV fluids."
"Alright," I said, knowing I'd never be able to look at Dr. Bob the same, ever again. I walked down the hallway and met him in room 1.
"What was that last patient here for?" he asked. "She kinda looked familiar," he said foggily rubbing his eyes. "I just. Can't seem. To place her."
"Oh, nothing. I don't even remember. She's not from around here, though. So, you don't know her. Trust me, you DEFINITELY don't know her."
And so goes one of the craziest patient cases I ever, EVER, had. But....But, if only any of it really happened. Because stuff like this just doesn't happen in our world, the crazy, crazy world of the Emergency Department. Does it?
"Hey, Bob. How's it going?" I asked our long time Department Director. Doctor Bob was a super nice guy, and a pillar of the community, really. He tried to "have the backs" of the pit docs as much as he could. Most of the time he sided with Administration, to save his own job. I can't really blame him.
"Oh, I'd be fine if it wasn't for the brutal headache and nausea. Thank God for Zofran," he said.
"Oh yeah? Got a virus, or something?" I wondered.
"Oh, no. Hangover. Brutal one. Haven't had one like this is in forever. A bunch of us went out last night with ------ ------- (hugely powerful and influential person)."
"What!? You know him? Personally?" I asked, stunned.
"I know him from my college days. I don't really tell many people because of his high profile," Director Bob explained.
"Oh, I can completely see why," I said.
"He's a complete party animal, really. Not at all like his public image. We got so drunk, I hardly remember a thing. I think we went to a bunch of bars, and maybe a party. All I know is, it got insane. Really insane. Totally out of control, " said Doctor Bob.
"Yeah, by the way you look, I believe you. I'm starting my shift now. Let me know if you need any IV fluids or anything," I said.
"Alright. Thanks," he answered. "Oh by the way, did you hear, it looks like Lisa and I are getting back together. She's letting me move back in with her and the kids."
"Wow. That's great. Glad to hear it," I said. I then bolted off to start my shift.
I went in to see the first patient, with Brittany the nurse. "Jane Doe," 24-year old female in room 1. Chief complaint, "Female problem."
"Ah, yes. The classic 'female problem,'" I muttered to myself. With that chief complaint, you just never know what you're going to get. I walked in the room with the nurse and sitting on the stretcher was a twenty something year old female, and in a chair next to her, a female friend the same age. "Hi, I'm Dr. Bird, what can we do to help you today?"
"I need to be check for STDs [sexually transmitted diseases] and I want the morning-after pill," she said.
"Tell him. Tell him what happened!" her friend urged nervously.
"No way," she chastised her friend. "I wanna get out I here as soon as possible."
"She was raped!" the friend blurted out. "She was raped by (----- -------)!" she quipped as Jane the patient swung her arm over and slugged her friend on the shoulder. "Ouch! You have to tell him!" she said with urgent eyes bulging.
"No I don't," the patient said. "Just make sure I don't get some disease or get pregnant and get me the hell out of here." She started to get tearful.
"It was ----- ------," her friend blurted out,"and his piece of s--- friends that were with him."
Ho-ly-, crap, I thought to my self. My jaw absolutely dropped to the floor. She just said the name of ---- -----[hugely powerful and influential person that my boss had been out with last night). Whoa. Whoa. WHAT?! This was not good. It really wasn't very good to begin with and it just got a million times worse. Whoa.
We all just looked at each other. "I know," Jane the patient said, now crying. "It's bad. Really bad. I don't want this to get out. God knows what could happen to me if this got out. Is this confidential?"
"Absolutely yes, it is," I answered. "It is strictly up to you if you want to press charges, also."
"No," she said. "No way."
"Ok, I understand. If you want, we can do an evidence collection kit, just in case you change your mind," I added.
"No way," she said again. "If I blew the lid off this, who knows what could happen? Who knows? I could end up dead. I have my own, proof though. Just in case. For my own protection."
"I understand. I really doubt anything like you're thinking, would happen, but I understand. It's your decision. I completely understand. We'll help you no matter what you decide," I said.
Her friend chimed in, "No, you don't understand. We know way more about this guy than you even want to know. It's in everybody's interest, that this never gets out. NEVER. And that includes from you, or anyone."
"Oh, I know. Trust me, I know," I answered, desperately wishing I had picked up the "cockroach in kid's ear" patient I skipped over to see "female problem." We finished the exam, she got her discharge papers, walked out of room 1 and went out the door.
"Hey, Bird," it was my boss, Dr. Bob, the Department Director. "Meet me in room 1. I think I do need some of those IV fluids."
"Alright," I said, knowing I'd never be able to look at Dr. Bob the same, ever again. I walked down the hallway and met him in room 1.
"What was that last patient here for?" he asked. "She kinda looked familiar," he said foggily rubbing his eyes. "I just. Can't seem. To place her."
"Oh, nothing. I don't even remember. She's not from around here, though. So, you don't know her. Trust me, you DEFINITELY don't know her."
And so goes one of the craziest patient cases I ever, EVER, had. But....But, if only any of it really happened. Because stuff like this just doesn't happen in our world, the crazy, crazy world of the Emergency Department. Does it?
