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Heres an article from our parody newspaper, The Spare Wheel 
:
Harvard lawsuit threatens Emory nickname; students, lawyers flee
By Holly Morris
Editor in Chief
Lawyers representing Harvard and Duke Universities yesterday filed suit against Emory for use of the term "Harvard of the South."
"What if we wanted to open a branch in the South?" asked Harvard President Neil Rudenstine at a press conference regarding the law suit. "What if we were to call ourselves 'the Emory of the North?'" he asked, then dissolved into giggles.
"There is only one Harvard. There can be only one 'Harvard of the South,' and Duke is it," said Duke President Nannerl Keohane. "We know this because we have just paid Harvard $7 million dollars in back pay due on the name."
Harvard students addressed the problem with a class-action suit of their own, citing defamation of character. David Marinoff, Harvard University's student body president, said "We don't want future employers thinking that we went to school in a podunk state like Atlanta."
Duke students followed with a similar suit, citing defamation of Harvard's students' characters. "If they look bad, we look worse," said student body president Jason Eaton.
University President William M. Chace expressed frustration with the legal proceedings, stating "Were the Ivy League to extend its tendrils into the South, I have no doubt both Emory and Duke would be included. Why quibble over names?"
Duke and Harvard legal counsels responded with jeers of "Em-o-ry, safety school."
In a reciprocal move, Yale University sued all involved, claiming hurt feelings. "No one ever calls themselves 'the Yale of the South.' That makes us feel bad," said Yale President Richard Levin.
Progress on the Harvard-Yale-Emory virtual library has been delayed until further notice.
:Harvard lawsuit threatens Emory nickname; students, lawyers flee
By Holly Morris
Editor in Chief
Lawyers representing Harvard and Duke Universities yesterday filed suit against Emory for use of the term "Harvard of the South."
"What if we wanted to open a branch in the South?" asked Harvard President Neil Rudenstine at a press conference regarding the law suit. "What if we were to call ourselves 'the Emory of the North?'" he asked, then dissolved into giggles.
"There is only one Harvard. There can be only one 'Harvard of the South,' and Duke is it," said Duke President Nannerl Keohane. "We know this because we have just paid Harvard $7 million dollars in back pay due on the name."
Harvard students addressed the problem with a class-action suit of their own, citing defamation of character. David Marinoff, Harvard University's student body president, said "We don't want future employers thinking that we went to school in a podunk state like Atlanta."
Duke students followed with a similar suit, citing defamation of Harvard's students' characters. "If they look bad, we look worse," said student body president Jason Eaton.
University President William M. Chace expressed frustration with the legal proceedings, stating "Were the Ivy League to extend its tendrils into the South, I have no doubt both Emory and Duke would be included. Why quibble over names?"
Duke and Harvard legal counsels responded with jeers of "Em-o-ry, safety school."
In a reciprocal move, Yale University sued all involved, claiming hurt feelings. "No one ever calls themselves 'the Yale of the South.' That makes us feel bad," said Yale President Richard Levin.
Progress on the Harvard-Yale-Emory virtual library has been delayed until further notice.
