- Joined
- Dec 14, 2008
- Messages
- 200
- Reaction score
- 1
* The professor's questions are arbitrarily listed in Hz and Kilohertz. He or she puts an emphasis on labeling answers in proper units during lecture but often does not make proper utilization themselves.
= Make a concerted effort to make full utilization of decihertz, hectohertz and other confusing, seldom-used and difficult to interpret (but proper) units.
* You get an e-mail newsletter from the UAMS chancellor about enjoying your Veterans Day holiday with some half-witted 'thank you' to veterans, but since you follow the UALR schedule you don't even actually get the day off.
= Reply to the chancellor and complain about your not getting Veterans Day off. Explain that this is an abomination and request if there are any events on either campus commemorating the day, requesting to know why if the answer is no. On Veterans Day, show up to class in full dress uniform.
* You are told that printing on the printer provided you in the Au.D/SLP workroom is strictly prohibited except under certain extenuating clinical use. Only blue paper is loaded in the printer to give those away that attempt to break the rules.
= Print all notes, homework and anything else that comes to mind on the blue paper. Provide contraband white paper to students so they may "fight the power" and covertly use the printer to print 'bootleg' documents of their own without being detected. Claim ignorance when faculty inquires about persistantly low toner levels in the printer.
* Your faculty are just as scatterbrained (more so?) than you are and forget to ask for certain assignments back. Sometimes they forget to administer tests.
= Send covert cellular text messages to other students in the classroom to ensure everyone stays on the "Q.T." When the professor asks what happened to this assignment some weeks later, claim ignorance.
* You can't stand particular classes, especially after an excruciating exam in the previous class.
= Go out with the class and drink heavily. Return from lunch slightly pie-eyed. Avoid going to the bathroom during class in order to avoid suspicion.
* You are forced to plot an audiogram on the Parrot virtual software "Audiology Clinic" in front of the class during lecture.
= Refresh the characters until the late Richard Nixon pops up. Preface your exam by declaring to the instructor and your peers your reverance for former President Nixon and how much of a privelage it is to be given the opportunity to perform a pure tone test on Mr. Nixon. Continue until the professor becomes incredulous and stops you.
* You forget your pen and calculator on test day.
= Excuse yourself and run to Big Lots (next door) to purchase a pen and calculator, then run back and finish the exam.
* The Coke machine in school rips you off by not providing change. Sometimes it not only does not provide change but also does not provide a Coke A Cola.
= Report the incident to the campus police. Declare that the machine must be taken into custody and arrested immediately for petty theft. Escort a uniformed officer to the offending Coke machine for positive identification.
* You need to finish an assignment using a program that is installed on the school computers. It is on a Sunday evening and the school is closed.
= Sneak in through the adjacent buildings and feel your way through the dark hallways (the lights have been shut off by external power disconnect to save electricity) and blindly punch in the code to enter the computer room. Try to keep your composure and remember how many times you have practiced this blindfolded for such an event. Complete the assignment and exit the building via the fire exit at 2000 hours. Ignore the inquisitive looks of the grizzled undergrad carpentry students having a barbeque on the back loading dock run to your vehicle....don't look back.......don't look back...
* You are required to observe a cadaver's temporal bone and the ENTs who are performing a mock mastoidectomy on it (temporal bone lab). You are concerned for your safety as the issue of personal protective equipment has not been brought up.
= E-mail your professor, requesting if eye goggles and an apron will be provided. State that it is a genuine concern of yours on account of the fact that the only apron you own has the logo "Kiss the Cook" printed across the chest and that it may not be appropriate to wear such a garment at the temporal bone lab.
* The professor states that the I.Q. scale is quantatative/numeric.
= Suggest that it is also nominative, given that lower values of the scale correspond to labels such as "Idiot", "Imbecile" and "*****" and certain higher values of the scale may correspond to "genius". Support your claims with concurrance with a psychology professor.
= Make a concerted effort to make full utilization of decihertz, hectohertz and other confusing, seldom-used and difficult to interpret (but proper) units.
* You get an e-mail newsletter from the UAMS chancellor about enjoying your Veterans Day holiday with some half-witted 'thank you' to veterans, but since you follow the UALR schedule you don't even actually get the day off.
= Reply to the chancellor and complain about your not getting Veterans Day off. Explain that this is an abomination and request if there are any events on either campus commemorating the day, requesting to know why if the answer is no. On Veterans Day, show up to class in full dress uniform.
* You are told that printing on the printer provided you in the Au.D/SLP workroom is strictly prohibited except under certain extenuating clinical use. Only blue paper is loaded in the printer to give those away that attempt to break the rules.
= Print all notes, homework and anything else that comes to mind on the blue paper. Provide contraband white paper to students so they may "fight the power" and covertly use the printer to print 'bootleg' documents of their own without being detected. Claim ignorance when faculty inquires about persistantly low toner levels in the printer.
* Your faculty are just as scatterbrained (more so?) than you are and forget to ask for certain assignments back. Sometimes they forget to administer tests.
= Send covert cellular text messages to other students in the classroom to ensure everyone stays on the "Q.T." When the professor asks what happened to this assignment some weeks later, claim ignorance.
* You can't stand particular classes, especially after an excruciating exam in the previous class.
= Go out with the class and drink heavily. Return from lunch slightly pie-eyed. Avoid going to the bathroom during class in order to avoid suspicion.
* You are forced to plot an audiogram on the Parrot virtual software "Audiology Clinic" in front of the class during lecture.
= Refresh the characters until the late Richard Nixon pops up. Preface your exam by declaring to the instructor and your peers your reverance for former President Nixon and how much of a privelage it is to be given the opportunity to perform a pure tone test on Mr. Nixon. Continue until the professor becomes incredulous and stops you.
* You forget your pen and calculator on test day.
= Excuse yourself and run to Big Lots (next door) to purchase a pen and calculator, then run back and finish the exam.
* The Coke machine in school rips you off by not providing change. Sometimes it not only does not provide change but also does not provide a Coke A Cola.
= Report the incident to the campus police. Declare that the machine must be taken into custody and arrested immediately for petty theft. Escort a uniformed officer to the offending Coke machine for positive identification.
* You need to finish an assignment using a program that is installed on the school computers. It is on a Sunday evening and the school is closed.
= Sneak in through the adjacent buildings and feel your way through the dark hallways (the lights have been shut off by external power disconnect to save electricity) and blindly punch in the code to enter the computer room. Try to keep your composure and remember how many times you have practiced this blindfolded for such an event. Complete the assignment and exit the building via the fire exit at 2000 hours. Ignore the inquisitive looks of the grizzled undergrad carpentry students having a barbeque on the back loading dock run to your vehicle....don't look back.......don't look back...
* You are required to observe a cadaver's temporal bone and the ENTs who are performing a mock mastoidectomy on it (temporal bone lab). You are concerned for your safety as the issue of personal protective equipment has not been brought up.
= E-mail your professor, requesting if eye goggles and an apron will be provided. State that it is a genuine concern of yours on account of the fact that the only apron you own has the logo "Kiss the Cook" printed across the chest and that it may not be appropriate to wear such a garment at the temporal bone lab.
* The professor states that the I.Q. scale is quantatative/numeric.
= Suggest that it is also nominative, given that lower values of the scale correspond to labels such as "Idiot", "Imbecile" and "*****" and certain higher values of the scale may correspond to "genius". Support your claims with concurrance with a psychology professor.
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