The worst commander

[BomberDoc]

---

Members do not see this ad.

This forum has again descended into petty bickering that sounds like children arguing on the playground. Let's bring back some good old-fashioned bitching to make it interesting again. Tell a story about your worst commander or clinic chief or whatever. Prior service guys, I would love to hear about lousy bosses when you were working for the line.

 

[SF49ers Fan]

This forum has again descended into petty bickering that sounds like children arguing on the playground. Let's bring back some good old-fashioned bitching to make it interesting again. Tell a story about your worst commander or clinic chief or whatever. Prior service guys, I would love to hear about lousy bosses when you were working for the line.

This may not be exactly what you are looking for, but you may find it entertaining.

Many years ago my ship pulled into a port in Canada. We had 4 or 5 midshipmen riding us for their summer cruise including 2 females (which had never been done before on our ship because females were not yet allowed on combatents). The port was pretty dull and there was only one club that stayed open late and had tons of cheap booze. This, of course, is where the whole crew chose to hang out. Well, at about midnight everyone noticed that there was a couple out on the dance floor getting a little hot and heavy. The dude was a guy in his late 40's but looked like he was in his 60's bearing a very similar resemblance to our CO. The girl was 19, hot, obviously had some kind of old man fetish, and looked very much like one of our midshipmen.

At about 0200 our CO and said midshipman came across the quarterdeck bearly able to walk, still all over each other. The CO orders the officer of the deck to assist said midshipmen to his stateroom.

At 0800 all of the department heads knock on the CO stateroom door for the daily department head meeting. Guess who answers the knocking with bedhead and a smile? 😱

0900 the XO does an informal inquiry with several members of the crew and orders a JAG investigation.

By 1600 the JAG and destroyer group commander (DESRON) are on a plane to Canada. Liberty is secured for the night (no leaving the ship).

By 1000 the next day everyone including the bilge rats is questioned.

1300 the CO AND XO are both relieved of their duties, never to be heard from again (the XO, who just checked aboard a week earlier, apparently ordered the JAG investigation without the CO's approval).

Moral of the story:
1. Buy a boat, being a boat captain makes you sexy no matter what you look like.

2. Next time get a motel room. 🙂

 

[MaximusD]

Any chance you could rephrase this in an obvious way?

I'm working on 4 hrs of sleep prepping for an immuno/bact path exam.

So the CO slept with a girl midshipman? Where's the fire? Is that not allowed?

So seriously, the CO gets lucky and gets reassigned/demoted? I say props to him anyway! I hope if I'm single at 50 I can find some hot young cradle to rob 😉

 

[SF49ers Fan]

Any chance you could rephrase this in an obvious way?

I'm working on 4 hrs of sleep prepping for an immuno/bact path exam.

So the CO slept with a girl midshipman? Where's the fire? Is that not allowed?

So seriously, the CO gets lucky and gets fired? I say props to him anyway!

The military frowns on fraternization (although it happens alot). You will get hours and hours of fraternization and sexual harassment training in the years to come. He was also married. Quite the player for someone so wrinkly.

 

[MaximusD]

The military frowns on fraternization (although it happens alot). You will get hours and hours of fraternization and sexual harassment training in the years to come. He was also married. Quite the player for someone so wrinkly.

Hmm so no relationships with others in uniform? What if it's legit?

 

[BigNavyPedsGuy]

Hmm so no relationships with others in uniform? What if it's legit?

In the civilian world a CEO could get into big trouble for mixing with a 19yo that works for him. The military isn't much different.

Good work SF49ers. Back to the bad CO stories . . .

 

[BomberDoc]

So the CO slept with a girl midshipman? Where's the fire? Is that not allowed?

You're going to do well in the military. I'd be happy to have you as my commander. Seriously. Fraternization gets a lot of docs in trouble with their enlisted techs.

 

[BomberDoc]

This may not be exactly what you are looking for, but you may find it entertaining.

This is precisely what I was looking for. Great story.

We had an O-6 group CC who got s#itty at the xmas party at the O-club who decided to do the responsible thing and walk home instead of drive. Problem is that he stumbled into a female enlisted dorm rather than his home. Imagine the poor 19 yr old E-2 stuck in the dorms on a Friday night and here is a Colonel (still in uniform) drunk as a skunk, trying to get in to her room because he thinks it is his house. He kept his command, but I would love to have been a fly on the wall when he explained that one to the base commander.

 

[core0]

Place: The Honduras during the 1980's.
While traveling in a three vehicle convoy on a single lane road through the mountains the lead vehicle hits an antipersonnel mine. Standard procedure is to back out of the area on your own tracks (thats why the good lord made run flat tires).
Me on the radio: Everyone OK?
Other guy: Yeah we got a hole in the right front tire not sure about the radiator..
Me: OK Let Charlie 3 back up then I'll back up. Then you try. If you can't move we'll throw you a rope and tow you out.
Other guy: OK
New LT (ring knocker) in the vehicle with me: I'm in charge here. I need to assess the situation. Tell them to stay put while I come forward and check things out.
Me: Sir, we seem to have driven into a mine field.
New LT: Which part of I'm in charge don't you understand.
Me: Roger Out.
New LT: Aieeeee.
Me: Looking out the open door - hmm the LT seems to have missed the fact that there was a sixty foot drop on the right side of the HMMV and no shoulder.

Six hours later after rapelling down, stablizing the LT, getting a MEDEVAC and recovering the vehicles:
SGM: The Battalion Commanders says you can't have any more lieutenants.
Me: Why?
SMG: Says you keep using them up.

David Carpenter, PA-C

 

[SF49ers Fan]

Hmm so no relationships with others in uniform? What if it's legit?

For the Navy, there are restrictions on "unduly familiar" relationships like:
1. No officer and enlisted
2. No E-7 and above and E-6 and below
3. No Direct chain of command relationships

There are other scenarios, but don't worry about them now. You will have plenty of training later. The Navy actually has videos to help keep you out of trouble. My favorite fraternization/sexual harrassment video is the one where a very attractive female E-7 corners a male petty officer and says, "If you want a good eval you are going to have to come over to my place tonight!" It has all the makings of a cheesy porno flick except our hero denies all of her advances and reminds her, "This is red light behavior Chief!"

 

[Mirror Form]

Place: The Honduras during the 1980's.
While traveling in a three vehicle convoy on a single lane road through the mountains the lead vehicle hits an antipersonnel mine. Standard procedure is to back out of the area on your own tracks (thats why the good lord made run flat tires).
Me on the radio: Everyone OK?
Other guy: Yeah we got a hole in the right front tire not sure about the radiator..
Me: OK Let Charlie 3 back up then I'll back up. Then you try. If you can't move we'll throw you a rope and tow you out.
Other guy: OK
New LT (ring knocker) in the vehicle with me: I'm in charge here. I need to assess the situation. Tell them to stay put while I come forward and check things out.
Me: Sir, we seem to have driven into a mine field.
New LT: Which part of I'm in charge don't you understand.
Me: Roger Out.
New LT: Aieeeee.
Me: Looking out the open door - hmm the LT seems to have missed the fact that there was a sixty foot drop on the right side of the HMMV and no shoulder.

Six hours later after rapelling down, stablizing the LT, getting a MEDEVAC and recovering the vehicles:
SGM: The Battalion Commanders says you can't have any more lieutenants.
Me: Why?
SMG: Says you keep using them up.

David Carpenter, PA-C

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Let me guess, West Pointer?

 

[core0]

HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Let me guess, West Pointer?

Bing Bing (hence the big honking ring).

 

[Re3iRtH]

This forum has again descended into petty bickering that sounds like children arguing on the playground. Let's bring back some good old-fashioned bitching to make it interesting again. Tell a story about your worst commander or clinic chief or whatever. Prior service guys, I would love to hear about lousy bosses when you were working for the line.

Are you upset at the large amount of positive posts about the
military lately??

 

[Mirror Form]

Are you upset at the large amount of positive posts about the
military lately??

Oh yes, it's a great sign to see all these med students posting positive comments about military medicine!

But seriously, let's not hijack the thread, leave that argument for other threads.

 

[SF49ers Fan]

My first dept head was an honest to goodness academy cheerleader who kept a picture of himself in full cheer uniform in his stateroom. Try and imagine listening to someone tell you your division is hosed, and the whole time all you see is him in his stupid cheer outfit. I can still hear him say, "Your guys had better not screw up this inspection.......wipe that f#$king smile off your face, what's so funny anyway?"

 

[Tekar]

Place: The Honduras during the 1980's.
While traveling in a three vehicle convoy on a single lane road through the mountains the lead vehicle hits an antipersonnel mine. Standard procedure is to back out of the area on your own tracks (thats why the good lord made run flat tires).
Me on the radio: Everyone OK?
Other guy: Yeah we got a hole in the right front tire not sure about the radiator..
Me: OK Let Charlie 3 back up then I'll back up. Then you try. If you can't move we'll throw you a rope and tow you out.
Other guy: OK
New LT (ring knocker) in the vehicle with me: I'm in charge here. I need to assess the situation. Tell them to stay put while I come forward and check things out.
Me: Sir, we seem to have driven into a mine field.
New LT: Which part of I'm in charge don't you understand.
Me: Roger Out.
New LT: Aieeeee.
Me: Looking out the open door - hmm the LT seems to have missed the fact that there was a sixty foot drop on the right side of the HMMV and no shoulder.

Six hours later after rapelling down, stablizing the LT, getting a MEDEVAC and recovering the vehicles:
SGM: The Battalion Commanders says you can't have any more lieutenants.
Me: Why?
SMG: Says you keep using them up.

David Carpenter, PA-C

That is a hilarious story... LT"s confused that they outrank their drivers...

The worst thing though in general is when all of your NCO's wanna screw the butterbar fresh out of college who seems to be ready to get nailed by disease vectors.

Then she stumbles on a lower enlisted gaggle and begins to get all perky about change and positiveness and all that crap...
I finally speak up with 30 days left to go home.."Ma'am, the reason no one is talking to you is because we've all heard this before and every time we open our mouths to a new LT.. we get the shaft as soon as you go back to your office."

The new butterbar walks away in a huff all confused at why she gets no respsect..


Thanks for reminding me why I got out of that circus, and why I really should just borrow my way through medical school.

 

[tscottturner]

Bing Bing (hence the big honking ring).

Let's not forget that stereotypes go both ways. I'm proud of my ring, but certainly never felt the need to wear it on any deployments.

 

[BomberDoc]

I love it when commanders try to get me to do their dirty work.

CC: Doc, I don't know what to do with this troop who is a real turd. Can we MEB him?
Me: You mean, can I MEB him?
CC: Well, yeah.
Me: You're his commander. Command. You can admin sep him.
CC: But that is a lot of paperwork.
Me: So is an MEB.
CC: So you'll do it?
Me: If I do it and he gets returned to duty, you'll blame me, right?
CC: Naturally.