As always, x-mmd has well thought out and very valid points.
Maybe, just a thought, that the recruiters should look harder for in service applicants for both HPSP and USUHS, or guys with prior service wanting to return to the military. Then, having experienced the BOHICA that often comes with the job, it would be less of a gripe for these guys/gals. I'm sure they could find plenty of applicants at the service academies and ROTC, as well as the ad ranks. Most of the prior service, myself included, will not complain about the lifestyle (salary/deployment), and will will recognize bad leadership and gripe accordingly. Prior service guys are more often to stay longer, hopefully providing some sort of leadership, due to the retirement carrot dangling in front of them. Using myself as an example, I can get out of the navy (at the earliest) at the 22 year point counting prior service time, residency time and residency payback.
Navy medicine and the navy in general is actually encouraging people to leave before retirement to pay less pensions. How about a 4 year contract after residency and then out, no staying in for the HPSP'ers and leave the senior position to the USUHS people. This way, residency is done on an O-3 salary vs 38k/year, you get your training and the service squeezes their time out of you. Navy GME may be under the gun in the upcoming years as well.
Military spouses, which was the original poster of this long thread, do get the short end of a very crappy stick. Career oriented spouses have it hardest due to the constant moving the spouse has to do. They have to decide whether career or marriage comes first, and do what is right for them.
For the kids cruising the boards, at tip.... How can you tell if a recruiter is lying??
His mouth is moving.