This Guy is Pissing me OFF!

[duh?]

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😡 1st week of June, I contacted one of my professors at my former school to write a recommendation for me. I asked him if he was comfortable with the idea of writing a letter-- he said Yes. I mailed a stamped envelope to him that same week to make it easier for him to get it over with. I mailed him a thank you card a week later and a polite reminder 2 weeks after that. I called his office and left a message on his phone to RE-remind him last week (cos my application has been mailed and i still dont have his letter). Why do people have to be like this. I really dislike it when people tell me "I'll do this" and then they mess up, especially when they are people i respect! 😡 😡 😡 😡
My Q is-- should i still get intouch with him again to RE-RE-remind him? I dont want him to get mad and send a bad letter.
I heard some schools will not even look at applications that are not complete.


I am so MAD right now!

 

[jhui]

My Q is-- should i still get intouch with him again to RE-RE-remind him? I dont want him to get mad and send a bad letter.
I heard some schools will not even look at applications that are not complete.

what i would do is actually try to get a HOLD of him instead of leaving msgs, emailing or what not. get a hold of him and explain to him the situation, tell him politely you dont mean to rush him and just explain the situation you are in. basically in the nicest possible way, say "i have given you a lot of time to write this recommendation and you havent done it, hurry up."

 

[dentwannabe]

ok this is my advice..


just call him and tell him, sir my whole application is on hold until i recieve your letter so if you could hurry up i would appreciate it greatly. - fearful, sweaty, nervous, predent applicant

thanks you

 

[grant555]

Believe it or not, I have read about this happening before to a student who kept repeatedly getting denial letters until it was discovered that one of the people she had asked for a recommendation had written a negative recommendation, which was forwarded to every school she applied to.

When confronted by the student, the person simply responded, "You never asked me if I could write a positive recommendation, only a recommendation." 😱

The writer (I don't remember who) suggested that you always ask the person in question if they can write a positive recommendation in a timely fashion do to admission deadlines. If not, you can simply ask another person or, better yet, ask to see the recommendation before it is mailed. As suggested on this website in another post, I have seen and heard of students writing recommendations themselves because the people they asked were too busy, and the person would just sign their names to it after it was completed.

I hope it works out for you. Take care and GOD bless.

 

[dentwannabe]

Believe it or not, I have read about this happening before to a student who kept repeatedly getting denial letters until it was discovered that one of the people she had asked for a recommendation had written a negative recommendation, which was forwarded to every school she applied to.

When confronted by the student, the person simply responded, "You never asked me if I could write a positive recommendation, only a recommendation." 😱

The writer (I don't remember who) suggested that you always ask the person in question if they can write a positive recommendation in a timely fashion do to admission deadlines. If not, you can simply ask another person or, better yet, ask to see the recommendation before it is mailed. As suggested on this website in another post, I have seen and heard of students writing recommendations themselves because the people they asked were too busy, and the person would just sign their names to it after it was completed.

I hope it works out for you. Take care and GOD bless.

oh cmon is this story really a fact???.. probly some admissoins person made up.. till it spread n became a known legend.

 

[grant555]

oh cmon is this story really a fact???.. probly some admissoins person made up.. till it spread n became a known legend.

Read it in a pre-dent or pre-med guide some years back, and I can't recall the name. What reason do I have to spead a phony rumor like this anyway? I hope it is false, but it is not unheard of for people in academia or any profession to lack class. You mean to tell me you have never met a**holes in your college career? I sure have met more than I wanted to. Take care and GOD bless.

 

[RaiderNation]

Believe it or not, I have read about this happening before to a student who kept repeatedly getting denial letters until it was discovered that one of the people she had asked for a recommendation had written a negative recommendation, which was forwarded to every school she applied to.

When confronted by the student, the person simply responded, "You never asked me if I could write a positive recommendation, only a recommendation." 😱

The writer (I don't remember who) suggested that you always ask the person in question if they can write a positive recommendation in a timely fashion do to admission deadlines. If not, you can simply ask another person or, better yet, ask to see the recommendation before it is mailed. As suggested on this website in another post, I have seen and heard of students writing recommendations themselves because the people they asked were too busy, and the person would just sign their names to it after it was completed.

I hope it works out for you. Take care and GOD bless.

At my school there is a pretty prestigious pre-professional committee that most successful applicants use. With the committee you have the option to see the letters that your recommenders wrote. If you do decide to read them they will put in the committee letter that your letters weren't candid because you had access to them. On the other hand, if you don't read them then they will put in the committee letter that you don't know what the letters say, which should give them more credibility.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that reading your letters before they go out is not always the best decision. But, like you said, all you need to do is make sure that the people writing the letters will talk you up and put you in a positive light.

 

[r0entgen]

At my school there is a pretty prestigious pre-professional committee that most successful applicants use. With the committee you have the option to see the letters that your recommenders wrote. If you do decide to read them they will put in the committee letter that your letters weren't candid because you had access to them. On the other hand, if you don't read them then they will put in the committee letter that you don't know what the letters say, which should give them more credibility.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that reading your letters before they go out is not always the best decision. But, like you said, all you need to do is make sure that the people writing the letters will talk you up and put you in a positive light.

well, i don't know why you would want to read it and have them declare your recs as not confidential...because most dental schools require CONFIDENTIAL letters of recommendations...

anyway, as for grant's story...i think that'll only happen at a very crappy institution with very unprofessional teachers...i mean, who would waste time writing a poor letter of recommendation? and then using that excuse that the student didn't request a "positive recommendation?"...OBVIOUSLY we want strong recs...not negative ones...anyway, the student must've been pretty idiotic since he didn't know his professor disliked him...

 

[grant555]

I agree with you guys 100%, but you could have the best school in the world, and all it would take is one joker to mess things up. I really believe that it is "pie in the sky" to suggest that any school is a 100% in the integrity department because there is no test for intolerance. People are people, and they are always going to do things they shouldn't. It doesn't excuse the behavior in question, nor does it explain it, but puts it in perspective of what could and probably did happen.

Also, I agree that the person should have investigated the person better and bears some responsibility for allowing themselves to be taken advantage of. I have heard (pissing and moaning) of other, more bewildering stories from less-credible folk that I won't even bother repeating. Take care and GOD bless.

 

[ddsnp]

I think the writer can get in trouble if they write a NEGATIVE letter.

 

[duh?]

Thanks guys. I would have gone over to the school to see him, but i don't live close to the place now and i cant get time off to go see him during the week. I made sure I asked him if he would be comfy with writing a GOOD letter and he said yes. I contacted another prof today and he's going to write me a letter. If I have all the required letters (from science profs, i think most schools need 2/3) would they disregard the absence of his letter or would they still need it cos i put it in my AADSAS application?
Once again, thanks people. 🙂

 

[dWiz]

😡 1st week of June, I contacted one of my professors at my former school to write a recommendation for me. I asked him if he was comfortable with the idea of writing a letter-- he said Yes. I mailed a stamped envelope to him that same week to make it easier for him to get it over with. I mailed him a thank you card a week later and a polite reminder 2 weeks after that. I called his office and left a message on his phone to RE-remind him last week (cos my application has been mailed and i still dont have his letter). Why do people have to be like this. I really dislike it when people tell me "I'll do this" and then they mess up, especially when they are people i respect! 😡 😡 😡 😡
My Q is-- should i still get intouch with him again to RE-RE-remind him? I dont want him to get mad and send a bad letter.
I heard some schools will not even look at applications that are not complete.


I am so MAD right now!

maybe he's getting annoyed by you re-reminding him so many times, and nows he's getting back at you by not mailing ur letter promptly
j/k
actually, i'm in the same situation, I just went to one of my professor's office a few days ago, and as i walked in he was actually working on my LOR that very moment and told me that he would mail it next week....but another professor i can't seem to get a hold of...and also, i think not replying back to emails is a universal thing with college professors...i haven't recieved one reply from anyone either....maybe there on vacation

 

[r0entgen]

I think the writer can get in trouble if they write a NEGATIVE letter.

why can he get in trouble? i don't think he can get in trouble unless the negative comments were all false....

 

[J2AZ]

First of all, after asking for a letter of rec, were the only two things you gave him an envelope and thank you card? I hope not. If you want a good letter you need to provide the prof with some background info about yourself and your career goals. You need to guide him through the letter writing process. You should always give your letter writer a cover letter (stating only write if you feel you can write a positive letter), a resume, a copy of your personal statement and any other info you feel reflects your character and life experience. If you dont do this how can the prof write a personal letter. He is probably banging his head against the wall trying to think of good things to say about you and extremely frustrated that you didnt provide him with any info about yourself.

 

[Sprgrover]

oh cmon is this story really a fact???.. probly some admissoins person made up.. till it spread n became a known legend.

For what it's worth I have been told by faculty members that they have written either so-so or negative LOR's before in the past. It can and probably does happen a lot more than what we, the students, realize.

 

[toofache32]

A little unrelated, but I had a dentist tell me that when another employer calls about hiring one of his former employees that he didn't like, he would simply say "I cannot recommend her" and leave it at that. He learned at some CE course that going into too much detail can open up potential legal trouble if the former employee finds out.

 

[duh?]

First of all, after asking for a letter of rec, were the only two things you gave him an envelope and thank you card? I hope not. If you want a good letter you need to provide the prof with some background info about yourself and your career goals. You need to guide him through the letter writing process. You should always give your letter writer a cover letter (stating only write if you feel you can write a positive letter), a resume, a copy of your personal statement and any other info you feel reflects your character and life experience. If you dont do this how can the prof write a personal letter. He is probably banging his head against the wall trying to think of good things to say about you and extremely frustrated that you didnt provide him with any info about yourself.

Nah! HE told me all he needed was my transcript, I was 1 of 2 foreign students in a class of 14 so he knows who i am. I offered to give him my resume and personal statement ( I have 2, 1 for aadsas and another slightly modified for the profs with extra info that they would need to better understand the program and me 😀 ) and all that stuff, like I did for the other 3 profs writing my letters. He said " Nah, all i need is ur transcript and I can pull it up on my computer cos i have access to it." 😡 😡 😡 😡 If he was so busy why didn't he just say so? I would understand. 🙁

Anyway, I'll wait for a few more weeks and then i'll get on his case again. Like someone said, he may be on vacation. 😕

 

[grant555]

Nah! HE told me all he needed was my transcript, I was 1 of 2 foreign students in a class of 14 so he knows who i am. I offered to give him my resume and personal statement ( I have 2, 1 for aadsas and another slightly modified for the profs with extra info that they would need to better understand the program and me 😀 ) and all that stuff, like I did for the other 3 profs writing my letters. He said " Nah, all i need is ur transcript and I can pull it up on my computer cos i have access to it." 😡 😡 😡 😡 If he was so busy why didn't he just say so? I would understand. 🙁

Anyway, I'll wait for a few more weeks and then i'll get on his case again. Like someone said, he may be on vacation. 😕

I would not want this guy or anyone to write a recommendation based solely on a transcript. If that was the main ingredient for a recommendation, you could email your stats to someone on SDN and get a faster response.

A supervisor of mine, a retired chemical engineer, explained that he always asked for one more recommendation than was actually needed because someone would always let you down. The extra recommendation could be used to fill the gap, and you could go on with your life. I absolutely hated the job, but learned a great deal from this guy.

If you can get by without this recommendation, I would because it seems to be more trouble than it is worth. Take care and GOD bless.

 

[duh?]

Thanks grant555 and everybody else. I got someone else to write another one (he is my research prof though). I just don't know what to think about that guy. hmmm. 😕

 

[Mayo123]

Believe it or not, I have read about this happening before to a student who kept repeatedly getting denial letters until it was discovered that one of the people she had asked for a recommendation had written a negative recommendation, which was forwarded to every school she applied to.

When confronted by the student, the person simply responded, "You never asked me if I could write a positive recommendation, only a recommendation." 😱

The writer (I don't remember who) suggested that you always ask the person in question if they can write a positive recommendation in a timely fashion do to admission deadlines. If not, you can simply ask another person or, better yet, ask to see the recommendation before it is mailed. As suggested on this website in another post, I have seen and heard of students writing recommendations themselves because the people they asked were too busy, and the person would just sign their names to it after it was completed.

I hope it works out for you. Take care and GOD bless.

What a jerk that evaluator was! Doesn't AADSAS review the letters to make sure they're not negative? I know that my school's reference letter service checks for those things....

 

[grant555]

What a jerk that evaluator was! Doesn't AADSAS review the letters to make sure they're not negative? I know that my school's reference letter service checks for those things....

This is an interesting comment, but the fact that any school has to check to see if recommendations are negative proves that there is potential for backstabbing in the first place, which was my point all along. If there was no risk of dishonesty or misunderstanding, then none of these checks and balances would exist. On the other side of things, you could argue that a particular reviewer may be justified in giving a negative recommendation, which in reality is not a recommendation at all, but a condemnation.

If someone asked me for a recommendation, and I felt I couldn't give a positive recommendation, I wouldn't write the recommendation. This may be an ugly situation, but it would prevent any miscommunication from the beginning and, at least, the applicant would have the advantage of hindsight and thus, know to ask someone else.

Personally, I would always want someone to be frank with me and not provide a false sense of security.

I myself had a similar situation happen to me when I asked an attorney for a recommendation for a summer job. She insisted that she didn't know enough about me (questionable) to write a valid recommendation. I took that as the nice way of saying hell no and moved to the next person on my list. I got the job in the end, and there was no need for any regrets thereafter.

Take care and GOD bless.

 

[Gurl21]

I'm in a similar situation as the OP. A thank-you card and 2 email reminders later, he still has not mailed my LOR nor has he bothered to reply to my emails. wtf! It's really upsetting b/c I rushed to get everything else in early and now this teacher is delaying my whole application.. recently I've been getting letters from dental schools saying they received my AADSAS stuff but still need my LOR's 🙁 How can one find out if a teacher has gone on vacation? If I call the department they work in would they know? Blaahh.. I'm thinking of giving my teacher a surprise visit at his office.. if he's there 😡 I don't want him to think I'm a pest b/c of my emails, but I'm going on vacation for a few weeks at the end of this week so I need to get things taken care of before I leave!

 

[SunnyD0119]

regarding confidential letters....our school has a waiver that the student signs and gives to the prof writing the letter-(waiver to state student does not want to read the letter)--one of my recommenders forgot to put the waiver in aadsas and shes gone for the rest of the summer what does that mean?---the other ones have that confidentiality waiver (except for the dentist one-i didnt give him the wiaver b/c hes not a prof) but the thing is i didnt even read the letters at all or anything like that--a little confused i am. \

 

[grant555]

I'm in a similar situation as the OP. A thank-you card and 2 email reminders later, he still has not mailed my LOR nor has he bothered to reply to my emails. wtf! It's really upsetting b/c I rushed to get everything else in early and now this teacher is delaying my whole application.. recently I've been getting letters from dental schools saying they received my AADSAS stuff but still need my LOR's 🙁 How can one find out if a teacher has gone on vacation? If I call the department they work in would they know? Blaahh.. I'm thinking of giving my teacher a surprise visit at his office.. if he's there 😡 I don't want him to think I'm a pest b/c of my emails, but I'm going on vacation for a few weeks at the end of this week so I need to get things taken care of before I leave!

This is a sad state of affairs, but not surprising. Man, when it come to letters of recommendation, you really have to take care in who you ask to write them. Preferably, you would want someone who has a proven track record. It is very difficult to sit idely by while the most important demarcation point in your life is being held up because this person is not responding to your correspondence attempts. People on this forum may disagree, but I would go to his office and inquire about the status. If I didn't get a satisfactory answer, I would ask someone else. There is just no time for complacency when admissions' deadlines are concerned.

 

[luder98]

I have a similar experience. The prof was very excited to help out when I asked. I provided all the needed documents and a stamped envelope. A month went by, no letter. I asked, and was told would finish in few days. To be safe, I asked another prof to write me a letter. This prof did it in a day. Now, it's been two months and AADSAS has still not received the letter. I don't know how these profs feel. I would be ashamed when reminded. I guess it's just life. But it's sad when these things come from professors.