This sucks

[PRIMER]

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Westphi,

I appreciate your reply, and subjects like this can only be educational, and believe it or not I think that they may give us a little insight on what our patients may be feeling or dealing with. When the overweight teen walks into the clinic feeling sorry for themselves (I assume they are able to help themselves) though many of us may not be overweight many of us do know what it takes to lose weight in many cases. But, (and I pray I don't offend) a physician who is overweight or was overweight in the past can offer advice that may go a longer way (that is not to say a physician that has always been thin and trim can't). Bottom line we all have to be very careful about what we choose to advise someone on, and always be sensitive to the situation.

Now, you said that you have had a "rough" last three years. But relative to what. Relative to those starving africans you mentioned, or those being sold to the sex trade, or relative to the OP. I respect what you are saying is rough because it is rough to you, though it may not have been rough to me. I grew up in the ghetto, with a mother on drugs (who didn't go past the 8th grade) a father who is a janitor, and 6 brothers and sisters. Some would say this is rough some would say it isn't. Would I go up to that person in africa and complain about things I had to go through, of course not. But who is to say that the african wouldn't think I had it rough (I know its a stretch).

I have two brothers that should have but didn't graduate from high school, two sisters who have babies and aren't married (one had her first kid at 17, got her GED though), and two younger brothers (one with ADHD). I say all of this to say that I could have very, very easily ended up in their position, I could have been one drink away from being an alcoholic, or one sex act away from being a father in high school, or having an STD. I know that it was not all me, I was blessed. I do look at my siblings and realize that that could have been me, easily.

I am just giving this example to say what is rough to me may not be rough to you, and we have to be sensitive to everyones backgrounds and what they are going through presently. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH LOVE. But I don't understand the concept of tough love. Love (the love I believe that your are speaking of [there are three types agape, phileo, eros]) is agape (greek) love. Agape love is doing the best good for someone no matter how it makes them feel. It is not based on feelings or emotions, but it is based on helping them. I think this is what you were doing and I applaud you for that. Although, this love does not involve bringing the person down, using hurtful words, or tones, at the same time it isn't all lovey dovey. Its telling them what they need to hear.

Westphil, I don't begin to think I know everything (medical school, parenting, and being a husband will help you to realize that very fast) I am just giving my opinion. I hope you take it as that.

Again, to the OP just get help. Get help, stick to a plan (unless it doesn't work), prioritize and set goals. If you got into med school you can make it out. Med school isn't designed to weed people out of medical school (residencies are another story), that is what the MCAT and orgo. was for. You can do it!!!!!

 

[westphi]

PRIMER,

Thanks for your time. I guess we just have to pick and choose whose "relative" situations are worth our time/attention. That's probably why I'll never go into elective cosmetic surgery or do commercials for Hydroxycut 😉. Thanks again and all the best.

ps sorry to the OP for hijacking the thread

 

[Re3iRtH]

That's what I was thinking. Dude grow up, 1st years not that bad and it only gets harder. For God sakes, you're going to be a doctor who's responsible for people who have lives much worse than you do.

I agree 101%.

I keep reading over and over on here how hard it is for people to study.
People act like opening a textbook is the hardest thing in the world.
Once you learn to study efficiently, all you're going to need is one or two
1 hour blocks of studying a day: MAX. Almost any job that comes to
my mind is more stressful than popping open a book and comfortably
staring at it while sipping on some tea. If only our parents had it an
easy as we have it now.

 

[DwyaneWade]

I agree 101%.

I keep reading over and over on here how hard it is for people to study.
People act like opening a textbook is the hardest thing in the world.
Once you learn to study efficiently, all you're going to need is one or two
1 hour blocks of studying a day: MAX. Almost any job that comes to
my mind is more stressful than popping open a book and comfortably
staring at it while sipping on some tea. If only our parents had it an
easy as we have it now.

Yes but studying doesn't come as easy for some people. My parents would much rather do what they do than study and read a book.

To the OP, I do not doubt that you are trying. But you just have to keep searching for the studying way that works for you. Everyone else has their advice on how to study but only one way will work for YOU.

And vtucci is dead on with the dependency issue, I have had some problems with various things and I know plennty of people in my class who have dealt with stress/depression that way.

 

[sprinkibrio]

Umm, no one is entitled to a free pass to live in the suburbs. If you want to live in one then you have to do what it takes to get there. Noone is going to build you a "sympathy-house." in a nice neighborhood just becuase you want it. And if I lived in the suburbs (which believe me I don't) and someone from the ghetto started to complain to me about how it sucks there I wouldn't have any problem giving them some perspective. Because there are people starving in Africa, orphans sniffing glue in S. America to numb their dire existences, and young girls being sold into the sex trade in E. Europe. What burns me up is the lack of real-world perspective so many people have in this country. Is it insensitive for me to think this way? Probably. Though I think I have been afforded the right to this mentality becuase I have had it pretty "rough" for that last three years (in the "real" sense of the word...not the "I'm in med school and its so difficult" sense of the word) and can acknowledge that these god aweful conditions actually do exist (they're not just campains on tv). The only person who is going to make it better for me is me. And at least my perspective is not naive or narrow sighted. Sitting for a med school test...give me a break.

We can tell you over and over that you don't get it because you're not here, but we're so silly in not realizing that because of the fact that you're not here YOU have the perspective we all lack. 👍

 

[Re3iRtH]

Yes but studying doesn't come as easy for some people. My parents would much rather do what they do than study and read a book.

To the OP, I do not doubt that you are trying. But you just have to keep searching for the studying way that works for you. Everyone else has their advice on how to study but only one way will work for YOU.

And vtucci is dead on with the dependency issue, I have had some problems with various things and I know plennty of people in my class who have dealt with stress/depression that way.

Ridiculous. Why would someone to whom studying doesn't come easy even
CONSIDER med school?? To help people? Try social work then. Your parents
would rather do what they do cause they didn't choose to go to medical
school. The people posting on here did.

 

[DwyaneWade]

Ridiculous. Why would someone to whom studying doesn't come easy even
CONSIDER med school?? To help people? Try social work then. Your parents
would rather do what they do cause they didn't choose to go to medical
school. The people posting on here did.

Are you actually implying that people who aren't as good as studying as you are shouldn't even consider medicine?

Don't you understand that there is much more to being a doctor than taking exams and studying?? What about people skills, manual dexterity, compassion? What about having good intuition and a sense of right and wrong?

 

[Doctor Bagel]

I agree with some of the posters above. To the OP, I would recommend that you try seeing a counselor and an academic advisor to see if there is a way they can help you find real solutions to your issues.

Medical school is often the most difficult environment students have encountered. It can bring out any occult tendencies to be depressed. Many students end up taking SSRIs to help them cope. Being depressed can absolutely impact your ability to concentrate, focus effectively and work productively. This is not the same thing as lacking a work ethic. Although I have fortunately not had any episodes of depression, I know a number of classmates who have. For me, medical school unearthed my ADD and that exacerbated difficulties with first year until I got on medication. There are two other students in my class who encountered the same issue and are doing much better now.

I find it offensive that many people have been telling the OP to toughen up. If you actually have depression, there is an underlying biochemical reason for it and that can be addressed with the help of a professional. Many individuals cannot will themselves out of depression- that is why there is a very prolific pharmaceutical industry to find new clever ways about making us feel better. I shudder at how some of you will view our depressed patients- tell them to buck up?

I also understand the OP. First year was abysmmal. For those of you who did not feel this way- good for you. If the OP can pull it out and not have to repeat the year, that will be better for her. Second year is more than just mindless memorization and she will probably thrive in the clinical years if she enjoys active learning.

Great post!

 

[Re3iRtH]

Are you actually implying that people who aren't as good as studying as you are shouldn't even consider medicine?

Don't you understand that there is much more to being a doctor than taking exams and studying?? What about people skills, manual dexterity, compassion? What about having good intuition and a sense of right and wrong?

I'm talking about the simple decision to even consider applying. This has
nothing to do with me. Its pretty tough to get in and I'm pretty sure
wanting to study was part of that equation.

 

[MaximusD]

Yeah, "hooking-up" with random people AT A BAR is a great confidence booster. 👎

That's very judgemental. I usually don't engage in this sort of thing but who are you to judge... I mean, honestly? On what grounds do you make this judgement and how is it so easy for you to make decisions for other people? Plus, you disrespect his/her whole argument based on a small aspect of what he/she was trying to say. So to quote you: 👎

 

[MaximusD]

Ridiculous. Why would someone to whom studying doesn't come easy even
CONSIDER med school?? To help people? Try social work then. Your parents
would rather do what they do cause they didn't choose to go to medical
school. The people posting on here did.

You're an idiot. People choose medical school to be a doctor. I hate studying for hours on end... with a passion, but will I make a fantastic physician? Abso-****ing-lutely.

Why? Because the vast amount of what you learn comes through practice during the 3rd & 4th years and ESPECIALLY while in your residency.

It's nice to see that someone with so little experience has so many insights! Thanks again for your contributions! 🙄

 

[MaximusD]

Ugh and finally, here is my response.

Relax. Please stop beign so hard on yourself. The shame-spiral is a slippery slope. Try to realize that medical school as a professional school has very little to do with the actual practice of medicine. While the information you are learning is extremely important, please understand that the practice of medicine is markedly different. Frankly, if you love medical school and shoving your nose in a book for days at a time then there may be something wrong with your social wiring. It's not the way we're wired... sorry.

So why do we do it? Because when you get to 3rd and 4th year, you need to know what the hell they're talking about. You won't remember how to do things from the powerpoints, but what you may remember is some contraindications, some important symptoms, and some of the basic physiology and anatomy that you will need to understand the language of medicine. The overlearning that takes place during the first two years of medical school is VAST so that you will retain little pieces of information here and there that the medicine profession feels must be emphasized.

SOO, what does this mean? It means that you shouldn't question your intentions and desire to enter medicine. It means that you are NORMAL to hate studying in a grouping of students that are all WEIRD. The bad news? You have to keep swimming... you need to survive amongst all the crazies.

A few things you should try.

1. Find some hobbies that you can use to cut up studying. Go to the gym, go out to the movies with friends, read some non-medical books. Do something outside of class that isn't SDN. You need some liberal arts in your life to keep your mind even.

2. See family when you begin to lose touch. Sometimes it can feel as though you are isolated in medical school, because the concept of "friends" from undergrad has been replaced by the idea of "colleagues" of medical school. Catch up with some old high school or college friends.

3. Modify your study skills. Don't try to sit for 20 hours at a time... you lose a lot of information that way. Break up your time with...well... breaks. You will retain a lot more, guaranteed. Remember that it is quality vs quantity when it comes to studying.

That's about all I can think of for the time being. No one ever said this was going to be easy... but no one said that you have to suffer through it. Try to enjoy yourself as often as possible... you only live once.

Above all else, if you feel as though you are falling...reach out and stop yourself. There are probably more people around you that you can rely on than you think.

Best of luck!!

 

[Re3iRtH]

You're an idiot. People choose medical school to be a doctor. I hate studying for hours on end... with a passion, but will I make a fantastic physician? Abso-****ing-lutely.

Why? Because the vast amount of what you learn comes through practice during the 3rd & 4th years and ESPECIALLY while in your residency.

It's nice to see that someone with so little experience has so many insights! Thanks again for your contributions! 🙄

You're a humble dude. Have a nice day. 😀

 

[Iquitos]

Not going to class- this is kinda counter intuitive but I am lucky that at my school we are given syllabi with all the material we need to know. Since I am not an auditory learner I get very little out of class. Instead I spend my time reading the syllabus (or on SDN) and making those summaries. Since I have stopped going to class I have much more free time and my grades have gone up.

Totally agree. Not only have my grades shot up, but I am much happier, way less stressed out and I sometimes get to sleep in and come to school at 9am. I'll enjoy this while it lasts because M3/M4 aren't going to be this laid back.....👍

 

[Na1a]

UPDATE: Things have not improved, and I think they are going even worse. I can't even bring myself to study anything anymore, I keep staring at my notes and just crying over them. I am overwhelmed by everything, and all I can think of is just quitting and going home. I still have to go to my appointment with the psychiatrist at school, I couldn't get one too soon because they are all booked, but I have mine in about 2 weeks...do you guys think there is any chance that the school would let me take a year off to think about everything? I am not sure I want to quit medicine completely, but I am young (I started med school at 20) and I am feeling like I might have rushed into medicine, and maybe I should have asked for a year-long deferral to de-compress from undergrad and have some fun (hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?), something I rarely did in high school or undergrad.

 

[bjolly]

to me, you sound depressed. I'm glad you have an appt with a psychiatrist. Try not to make any definite decisions about school right now, whether it's quitting or taking a year off. Right now you're not mentally or emotionally equipped to make good decisions. You may be struggling in school because you're depressed, or you may be depressed because you're struggling in school, but right now it doesn't matter which - the main thing is you need treatment.

I would talk to someone in your dean's office, explain how you have been struggling and are likely experiencing a depressive episode, and that you may need some time off. Then get to the psychiatrist as soon as you can and focus on getting some help. Once your brain is working a little better, you can figure out what to do next as far as school is concerned. Good luck.

 

[MartianOddity]

UPDATE: Things have not improved, and I think they are going even worse. I can't even bring myself to study anything anymore, I keep staring at my notes and just crying over them. I am overwhelmed by everything, and all I can think of is just quitting and going home. I still have to go to my appointment with the psychiatrist at school, I couldn't get one too soon because they are all booked, but I have mine in about 2 weeks...do you guys think there is any chance that the school would let me take a year off to think about everything? I am not sure I want to quit medicine completely, but I am young (I started med school at 20) and I am feeling like I might have rushed into medicine, and maybe I should have asked for a year-long deferral to de-compress from undergrad and have some fun (hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?), something I rarely did in high school or undergrad.

From someone who started med school at 20 years of age as well:

I also started med school when I was 20 years old, so I don't think you really rushed into it. You're just facing an obstacle that you're trying to break, but why break it when you can climb over it or walk around it?

I defied first year and got into the same situation as you while studying anatomy (that course crushed me between it's thighs).
What I did was to start all over with the subject pretending it to be a high-school class that I was studying for. Great difference, my grades went up along with my optimism and change of perspective.

When you're studying, don't see it as forced reading, try to make it seem as if you want to read that stuff. If you want to succeed you should state for yourself that "there is no going home". Then you won't have the option to give up.

You have to lift some pressure from your shoulders and realize that you're a human. Don't ever compare yourself to your peers either, that's fatal as an academic student and most likely they lie about how much they study.

 

[Doctor Bagel]

to me, you sound depressed. I'm glad you have an appt with a psychiatrist. Try not to make any definite decisions about school right now, whether it's quitting or taking a year off. Right now you're not mentally or emotionally equipped to make good decisions. You may be struggling in school because you're depressed, or you may be depressed because you're struggling in school, but right now it doesn't matter which - the main thing is you need treatment.

I would talk to someone in your dean's office, explain how you have been struggling and are likely experiencing a depressive episode, and that you may need some time off. Then get to the psychiatrist as soon as you can and focus on getting some help. Once your brain is working a little better, you can figure out what to do next as far as school is concerned. Good luck.

I agree 100% with this post. It sounds like you're really going through something, and seeing a psychiatrist is a great step. Also, your school is invested in you, and they will be willing to work with you, so talk to them. And bjolly is right that now is not the time to make major life decisions.

 

[kdburton]

After spending 4 years of undergrad working and studying to get into medical school, I'm seriously unhappy. I feel isolated from my classmates, I hate (HATE!) the studying, and I can't make myself study and concentrate like I should.

I am on the verge of repeating the year (which I am willing to do, but it sucks because I hate myself for not being able to concentrate). I find myself sitting at my desk for hours and hours not getting anything done. I've tried every setting there is, and nothing seems to help. I'm usually sleep deprived and frustrated. I hate it. I don't have any good excuses, either; I have no personal problems, illnesses, or financial issues preventing me from studying. I simply can't do it and I don't know why...this had never happened to me before. I'd never struggled to do well.

Thanks for letting me vent. You're probably the only group of people that can understand.

Last month I was trying to study for this one test and I was really tired and couldn't concentrate very well. I got very frustrated because I felt like I was losing ground and this of course compounded the "concentration problem" I was having. Against the schedule that I had created and the large stack of notes I had to get through I decided to call it quits and go home and get A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP. I woke up the next morning, went to lecture, and when I finally sat down to study after lunch my mind worked sooooo much better. Although this sounds like common sense, sometimes you need to remind yourself to get some sleep. I usually don't get all that much (6-7 hours on the weekdays), but sometimes I just have to force myself to do a little extra and it helps out a lot.

 

[HQAMIGO]

We read a paper in the patient physician society class (your school has an equivalent I'm sure) that states somewhere around 20-25% of all med students have symptoms of clinical depression. It peaks in 3rd year apparently when you are most isolated and stressed out. But it happens in 1st and 2nd year as well. My advice, see a therapist and get some antidepressants. Then do everything else that the other posters have said like change your lifestyle, get a better perspective etc.

This is a problem you dont want to go outta control so tackle it from every direction. I know there is a stigma against antidepressants, but you dont have to tell anyone and the side effects are usually pretty minimal.

Disclaimer: Not a medical professional. Knowledge only comes from textbooks, please don't sue me

 

[spreebee]

I really appreciate everyone's advice, I know all of it is well-intentioned.

The only insulting comments I find are those that assume that I am asking for a free-ride or that I expect to "coast through medical school." I expect neither of those things. I expected medical school to be tough, many times tougher than undergrad. If I wanted to coast through anything I probably would not have applied to medical school. That is why I asked for advice, because I want to improve my methods of working.

Obviously I cannot and will not possibly convey to all of you everything that is going through my mind at the moment. Don't assume you know everything about me or my life; do not assume that I have no perspective and that I have never had it tough before, because you do not anything about it. I only asked for advice about my academic issues, and to those of you (the vast majority) that have provided it, THANK YOU.

Ive been through the same boat of hating to study or just can't sit still for 8 hours...This is what I've done:

1) Grab a nice tasty coffee
2) Tear and Share M&M's
3) Scare myself into thinking an exams tomorrow
4) Study like whipped cattle

 

[samenewme]

I agree that you need to go to your dean or student affairs counselor NOW and let them know about your troubles. They may be able to get your appointment moved up, or at least may cut you more slack if your grades drop too low. It's always important to notify your school early and often when things are going badly and you need help.

Assign yourself smaller bites of things to study in the meantime and try to get someone to study with your or at least to sit with you when you study. Choose a new study environment (home, library, or coffee shop) just for a change. Get a review book on your subject and just study at that level for a while, maybe. Shake something up, anything!

And be sure to ask for help!

 

[vtucci]

It is good that you have an appointment with a mental health professional. I would also counsel against making snap decisions at this point. With the help of a psychiatrist and perhaps some pharmaceuticals, you may find your life and attitude to be completely different in a month.

It would probably be worthwhile though to talk to your dean of academic/student affairs and let him/her know the situation in case you have to remediate or ultimately decide to take a year off to get your head back in the game. These individuals can be your advocates and if they are aware of the situation, make helpful suggestions regarding resources that may be at your disposal. I knew plently of people in first year who had depressive episodes and ended up on medication. There is nothing shameful about this.

Good luck. Hang in there. Know that you are not alone.

 

[khadija]

UPDATE: Things have not improved, and I think they are going even worse. I can't even bring myself to study anything anymore, I keep staring at my notes and just crying over them. I am overwhelmed by everything, and all I can think of is just quitting and going home. I still have to go to my appointment with the psychiatrist at school, I couldn't get one too soon because they are all booked, but I have mine in about 2 weeks...do you guys think there is any chance that the school would let me take a year off to think about everything? I am not sure I want to quit medicine completely, but I am young (I started med school at 20) and I am feeling like I might have rushed into medicine, and maybe I should have asked for a year-long deferral to de-compress from undergrad and have some fun (hindsight is always 20/20, isn't it?), something I rarely did in high school or undergrad.

Wow, this is so funny. At my last meeting with my counselor, she reminded me that I wasn't the only one who had such problems while in med school.

A little background info: I'm an M1, 21yrs old, started med school right after undergrad. I have always been good at my studies (as i'm sure most other ppl on SDN are). I started out the first block (September) pretty good. Towards the end of that block a family member died. Due to circumstances I was unable to go to the funeral. I was sad of course, but since I was able to honor an exam I took a few days after the death, I thought I was dealing with the death pretty well.

Fast forward to the third block (December). I feel "off" (i use this word rather than anything sad, frustrated, or anything else because it was/is a complex emotion that at the time i didn't understand myself). I can't study, don't want to, just feel tired all the time. I'm putting off making decisions. I start avoiding people and social situations.

Christmas break comes, I've barely passed the last block. I go spend the holidays with an aunt. I come back feeling better. My friend remarks that I'm smiling again. School starts again. Then it all starts again. Eventually I find myself in the school's counseling center. Not because I felt anything was wrong, but because it couldn't hurt. My counselor helped me understand some of the things I was feeling. I learned that its possible to go through a phase of denial before starting to grieve. I learned that sometimes death combined with other stress factors could cause situational depression. I learned that sometimes it takes up to 8 months to deal with grief.

I still haven't dealt with all my emotions, but I'm working on it. There are still days that I can't study, days I avoid people. But I'm learning how to deal with that (apparently turkey helps 🙂). But because I waited so long to do something about it I ended up failing the January block. So this summer I'll be studying and going to summer school while everyone one else gets a tan and/or research experience.

sorry for blabbing so much. i started out writing this post to say that you should go talk to a counselor , if for nothing else but to bounce off your feelings on someone who won't judge you. But do the other things too. Shadow a doctor, talk to a mentor, change up your schedule to see what works, take some time to do something fun. If need be do what a friend of mine did, take off a year and then restart med school (with permission from ur school of course). Whatever you do, do something. Don't wait too long until the situation gets worse.