Thoughts on graduating

[neurotiger]

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As I look back over my *** years in an MSTP and get ready to start residency in a month, I keep mulling over what went well and what I might have done differently. I'm obviously satisfied to have made it through such a rigorous program and to be moving on to the next step, but there are definitely different degrees of success in this pathway.

First, I found the transition back to medical school tough in unexpected ways. While I remembered more from my first 2 years than I thought I would and never found myself lacking for knowledge, I felt like my attitude, my method of learning, the types of questions I asked were all different than my med school classmates - sometimes that worked to my advantage, sometimes to my detriment - but I refused to "play the game" because I just wanted to learn and figure out my future career. But at graduation, part of me wonders if I slacked off during med school; could I put in more effort, invested myself more, and prepared myself better for the road ahead?

Second, while I'm still proud of what I accomplished during my PhD, a large part of my work remains unpublished. This is somewhat expected in my lab because of the profile of the publications, the attitude of the PI, etc., and there were unexpected issues that arose after I left with the transgenic mice we used and with our collaborators. I don't think that my presence in the lab would have resulted in getting these papers published, but everytime I list my publications (e.g. for our MSTP grad reception), I feel a little disappointed - I think I could have done better, and I think I invested the time and energy and actually obtained interesting results, but thus far they are still in draft form.

Anyone else doing a bit of Monday-morning quarterbacking? I'm a little lukewarm about graduation. My parents are so excited to be visiting for graduation and are making a fuss and, though it seemed like such an amazing accomplishment when I first entered an MSTP, part of me feels like I could have done a better job.

 

[gbwillner]

I also left some expensive work unpublished. I had enough to get out, so I did. Only now, at the end of residency, am I going back to that data in an attempt to finish what I started.
You might find yourself in a similar position someday. So don't worry about it- if you want to go back and continue your work you may be able to. I thought I'd never work on my thesis topic again, but I became exposed to new techniques and ideas, I kept going back in my mind how I could have used those techniques to finish my original project. So eventually I caved and set up a collaboration with my old PI.

 

[nothingman]

On the whole, feeling happy and optimistic for the future. Definitely feel that this process took a lot out of me, though. A few random thoughts:

- Would have likely done better in a lab smaller and more student-focused than the high-powered factory-like megalab doing amazing science that I joined. I will give this advice to any prospective MSTP or PhD student. Where you do the PhD and in what scientific field matters a lot less than what you get out of it and the kind of mentorship relationship you build. I eventually got enough publications and told a good "story," but I feel like I graduated despite of the lab mentorship/environment, not thanks to it, and lost a good part of my soul/sanity reserve in the process.

- The above, though, made me yearn very strongly to return to the clinics and I think made me a much better-grounded humanist, and hopefully a better physician. Time will tell. I certainly had a more mature approach upon returning to clinics, as other posters have said - for me actually this process was not too rough, probably because of luck in terms of rotations, welcoming clinical teams and my own motivation to rejoin the world of humanity after lab.

- On the whole I learned less "science" per se during the PhD and oftentimes felt like a robot with little thinking involved, but got better at asking meaningful questions, and especially better at writing concisely and distilling complex ideas to lay or skeptical audiences. Lost all remnants of fear of public speaking. I am sure this will be helpful down the line.

Congratulations to the other graduates!

 

[neurotiger]

- Would have likely done better in a lab smaller and more student-focused than the high-powered factory-like megalab...

I had a similar situation - and definitely felt the advantages and disadvantages. On the positive side, I was never short on resources in terms of funding or collaborators who wanted to work with us. I would even venture to say I enjoyed the independence of a huge lab. I also learned a lot about the business of science - about getting money from private foundations, about writing different types of grants, and about reviewing papers. But, all of this came with big trade-offs - less face time with my PI, less guidance, less investment in my PhD/publications than in the benefit of the lab. This is an important consideration for future MSTP students when choosing a lab.

 

[Neuronix]

On the whole, feeling happy and optimistic for the future.

Exact opposite here.

 

[taXi]

My only thoughts on graduation are whether or not I will wait to get off stage before wiping my ass with both of my degrees.

 

[QofQuimica]

Another congrats to all my fellow physician scientist grads!

Right now, I feel a mixture of nostalgia for my med school; sad about leaving my friends; a little overwhelmed by the barrage of emails with "things to do" that I've been getting from my program; excited about starting a new phase in my life; proud of what I've accomplished; anxious about starting internship; and tired from graduation. I won't reflect about research; my PhD was long enough ago now that it feels a little bit like someone else's life experience found its way into my memory somehow.

Overall though, I'm optimistic about the future too. I found the perfect subspecialty niche for me, and having a place to go makes it feel a lot less urgent to know exactly which roads I'll take to get there. 🙂