Time for honeymoon???

[skiiboy]

Very important question... hopefully you guys can help me out. I'll be starting medical school in the fall and me and my girlfriend have been attempting to figure out when the best time to get married would be. We assumed for alot of reasons that the best time would be after graduation and just before residency. However we are concerned about the honeymoon situation. Is there a break between the time that you complete rotations and start your residency? To all of you who got married during medical school or residency, when did you take your honeymoon? Thanks everyone

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[alison_in_oh]

Very important question... hopefully you guys can help me out. I'll be starting medical school in the fall and me and my girlfriend have been attempting to figure out when the best time to get married would be. We assumed for alot of reasons that the best time would be after graduation and just before residency. However we are concerned about the honeymoon situation. Is there a break between the time that you complete rotations and start your residency? To all of you who got married during medical school or residency, when did you take your honeymoon? Thanks everyone

Fourth year has massive amounts of free time built in. Plus I think you usually graduate in May and start your intern year in July. No sweat.

However, to me that would be the most horrible stressful time to be planning and executing a wedding, just as your life is in the greatest turmoil: you'll learn where you'll spend the next years of your life in March, you'll be packing and moving and AUGH! How terrible.

My husband proposed to me just before beginning school, and we were married after first year. He even fit in about 10 weeks of research before and after the actual wedding (destination wedding, with about a week spent in the city where the ceremony was to take place) and honeymoon (two weeks on the Big Island of Hawai'i). That was the perfect time for us and for many of my husband's classmates. However, a lot of people find that the winter break during say 2nd year is a good time. Others choose to prioritize the ceremony and put the honeymoon off for a more convenient time. I'm sure you and your fiancée will find a good time for you as you get a feel for how your medical school schedule unfolds.

 

[mshheaddoc]

Well I'm scheduling to get married Oct of my fianace's 4th year, we could have done it this year. Each school has different schedules. Find out how many electives you have to take and how many mandatory weeks you have off (as far as I know each school has this built into the schedule) then work around that. I know people that got married all throughout med school. Its the same thing with kids, you just have to work around both your schedules. It can be done if both of you are flexible. Since you don't know your schedule for 3rd/4th year ... I'd suggest next summer. Just my thoughts (not to rush you)

 

[Law2Doc]

My husband proposed to me just before beginning school, and we were married after first year. He even fit in about 10 weeks of research before and after the actual wedding (destination wedding, with about a week spent in the city where the ceremony was to take place) and honeymoon (two weeks on the Big Island of Hawai'i). That was the perfect time for us and for many of my husband's classmates.

He had 13 weeks off in the summer after first year? I'm jealous.

 

[alison_in_oh]

He had 13 weeks off in the summer after first year? I'm jealous.

My memory is pretty fuzzy, but let's see. We were gone from mid-June through the Fourth of July weekend. He had something like 3-4 weeks before and 3-4 weeks (or more?) after the wedding. Maybe it was more like 8 weeks of research. Anyway, it was enough to make significant progress on a RNA kinetics study and to gain authorship on the resulting paper (whenever it's going to be published).

 

[texdrake]

Very important question... hopefully you guys can help me out. I'll be starting medical school in the fall and me and my girlfriend have been attempting to figure out when the best time to get married would be. We assumed for alot of reasons that the best time would be after graduation and just before residency. However we are concerned about the honeymoon situation. Is there a break between the time that you complete rotations and start your residency? To all of you who got married during medical school or residency, when did you take your honeymoon? Thanks everyone

Generally you have 4-5 weeks as residency starts July 1st

If you are military that drops to about 3 weeks.

That being said, four years is awefully long time to be engaged. Just get married after the second year. Having that long may make you think otherwise...

 

[fourthyearmed]

I recommend summer between first and second years. It's the only real break you'll ever have. You'll have to take boards between 2nd and 3rd year in the 4-5 weeks you have off. 4th year is a really long time to wait if you're already talking about marriage. We also had 2-3 weeks each Christmas so that's also an option which some of my friends took.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Take an Alaskan cruise. I've been on two Caribbean cruises and they simply do not compare to the splendor of the Alaskan coast. When you go, don't be duped into dropping $12,000 on art like I did. Yikes. The Dali and Chagall sure are purty though...

 

[cytoborg]

Very important question... hopefully you guys can help me out. I'll be starting medical school in the fall and me and my girlfriend have been attempting to figure out when the best time to get married would be. We assumed for alot of reasons that the best time would be after graduation and just before residency. However we are concerned about the honeymoon situation. Is there a break between the time that you complete rotations and start your residency? To all of you who got married during medical school or residency, when did you take your honeymoon? Thanks everyone

You're right, a honeymoon is very important. Some people defer it or skip it altogether...I'm not a fan of this. Even if it's just a few days, it's welll worth it, and you can always do a bigger trip later. There's definitely some time between graduation and the start of residency, as others have said. But I agree that 4 years is an awfully long time to be engaged! If you're both OK with that, that's cool...but if you're considering getting married earlier, there is plenty of time to do it during med school. Ask your deans or 4th year students about when you can expect time off. We had 3 weeks off between 1st and 2nd year, a week between 2nd and 3rd, and variable time (as much as 2 months) between 3rd and 4th depending on how we scheduled our electives. I happened to have a few weeks between 3rd and 4th years so that's when we got married. Planning a wedding while on 3rd year was a bit tricky. But do-able. A couple others got married in the 1st two years on winter break and spring break (less time for honeymooning this way though) and several waited until just after graduation. Anyway, I would recommend talking to people at your school to get a better idea of when you might be able to do it.

 

[FoughtFyr]

Very important question... hopefully you guys can help me out. I'll be starting medical school in the fall and me and my girlfriend have been attempting to figure out when the best time to get married would be. We assumed for alot of reasons that the best time would be after graduation and just before residency. However we are concerned about the honeymoon situation. Is there a break between the time that you complete rotations and start your residency? To all of you who got married during medical school or residency, when did you take your honeymoon? Thanks everyone

I got married in an elective block in August of my M4. The previous two months I did an EM elective (in a nearby City) and then a SICU rotation known to be light for the medical student member of the team. Both made scheduling allowances for needed meetings etc. (the florist, band, etc.). My evaluations from both were good. Right after the wedding we drove to Macinkac Island (~7 hours), and had a great 10 day honeymoon. Then we came home and both went back to work. It worked out great for us, my school let me take the time off, I was on M4 longer than most of my classmates (I stopped my last rotation 2 weeks before graduation, most of my class had the 6 weeks before graduation off).

BTW - I had been dating my wife for 3 years before medical school.

- H

 

[PreMedAdAG]

So, in general, would you recommend a longer engagement if you plan on getting married lets say during your second or third year? That way you can plan things out a little slower so its not so stressful.................. or is a vegas style wedding recommended during that time?

I want the whole shabang, but I only think like a 5 day do-absolutely nothing- honeymoon is necessary.. i mean how long can you veg before you get bored... so in all, maybe like a 10 day period to not have anything to do would be ideal (ie. rehearsals, bachelorette parties, wedding, maybe a gift opening deal, family time and honeymoon)

I wonder if like a 1.5-2 year engagement would be a little more easy to deal with

Thoughts?

 

[lovemydrhubby]

we were engaged for a little over 2 years...got married in March of his 2nd yr of med school. He had 1 week off for Spring Break.

It was a little tricky cause we're in CA and the wedding was in NY. I flew there 2 weeks before the wedding for last minute things and to relax a bit (yeah right! haha). He came out 2 days before. I think he wound up skipping one day of classes before they were released for spring break, but it was no biggie. We took a small honeymoon for 4 days-we drove there 8 hrs away. So it was plenty of time for us. Then, he went back to school for another month after that and 2nd yr was over. He had 4 or 5 weeks off before rotations started and to study for Step 1 so we had some time together then too. We were both people who felt a honeymoon was what we made of it- 4 days in Niagara Falls might not be too flashy or exciting, but it was amazing for us. Of course someday we'll take that Hawaii, Alaska, or other cruise....

As for engagement length. I thought 2 years was WAY too long personally. My friends told me "what's the rush?" (you know you'll do it eventually). I said "why NOT the rush?" (why wait if it's what you will do eventually)
We didn't have a huge wedding so it wasn't like I was planning the entire time. It just felt so long and many times we wanted to just say forget all this and let's elope. I think a year would be much more reasonable. We were planning a year, but circumstances did not allow us to get married that quickly.

Then again, there is nothing wrong with proposing to someone and wanting to make that committment, then waiting for the right time for both of you. You shouldn't have miss your "dream wedding" or honeymoon just because you are a med student. And you shouldn't wait a year to ask someone to marry you just because you don't want to have a long engagement right?

 

[PreMedAdAG]

Okay, that was great advice, but here's my question, it's one thing if a man gets married, but let's be honest, the woman is going to do most of the planning right? So, If i'm the lady and the one in med school, how exactly do I pull that off???

we were engaged for a little over 2 years...got married in March of his 2nd yr of med school. He had 1 week off for Spring Break.

It was a little tricky cause we're in CA and the wedding was in NY. I flew there 2 weeks before the wedding for last minute things and to relax a bit (yeah right! haha). He came out 2 days before. I think he wound up skipping one day of classes before they were released for spring break, but it was no biggie. We took a small honeymoon for 4 days-we drove there 8 hrs away. So it was plenty of time for us. Then, he went back to school for another month after that and 2nd yr was over. He had 4 or 5 weeks off before rotations started and to study for Step 1 so we had some time together then too. We were both people who felt a honeymoon was what we made of it- 4 days in Niagara Falls might not be too flashy or exciting, but it was amazing for us. Of course someday we'll take that Hawaii, Alaska, or other cruise....

As for engagement length. I thought 2 years was WAY too long personally. My friends told me "what's the rush?" (you know you'll do it eventually). I said "why NOT the rush?" (why wait if it's what you will do eventually)
We didn't have a huge wedding so it wasn't like I was planning the entire time. It just felt so long and many times we wanted to just say forget all this and let's elope. I think a year would be much more reasonable. We were planning a year, but circumstances did not allow us to get married that quickly.

Then again, there is nothing wrong with proposing to someone and wanting to make that committment, then waiting for the right time for both of you. You shouldn't have miss your "dream wedding" or honeymoon just because you are a med student. And you shouldn't wait a year to ask someone to marry you just because you don't want to have a long engagement right?

 

[alison_in_oh]

Okay, that was great advice, but here's my question, it's one thing if a man gets married, but let's be honest, the woman is going to do most of the planning right? So, If i'm the lady and the one in med school, how exactly do I pull that off???

My husband did a hefty portion of the planning which took place during his first year of med school. In fact I'd say he did 90% of the stuff that wasn't handled by the planner (it was a destination wedding so this was a near-indispensable cost). I was totally disorganized (getting better these days) and fairly unreliable, plus I was working full time and he had a flexible schedule.

They say if you want something done, give it to a busy person. His incredible time management skills have come in handy time and again. They have made it possible for him to excel in school, have a good relationship with me, and pursue outside activities to boot.

In short, I think you can do it.

 

[lovemydrhubby]

my husband did virtually nothing... I relied alot on my mother in law and mom/friends back in NY. I'm also getting better with my organization so perhaps it wasn't done as efficiently as possible.

a planner or really good friend (maid of honor type) is great in this role too. guess it depends on what type of wedding you want.

I do second alison though about giving things to "busy people"- my DH is so efficient with things. I find I'm always forgetting things here and there or I won't get an errand done in time. If he takes it on his plate, it gets done.

 

[PreMedAdAG]

my husband did virtually nothing...

But im the one in med school. IT sounds like you and your mom planned it all... are you in med school? if so then i understand, but I don't really want to rely on a man to get everything done

Plus my mom live two hours away and my sister lives in chicago!!

guess i'll figure it out when it happens Thanks for the advice

 

[lovemydrhubby]

Sorry premedadag... I wasn't clear. I was sorta just replying to agree yet disagree with alison_in_oh. She said her DH planned everything (in reply to you saying it's traditionally the woman's job)- I wanted to butt in and say "mine did nothing!" However, like I said, I do agree that he definitely can get involved (being that he may be less busy than you) because men can plan well. Or, as Alison indicated, her DH was able to get alot done while going to school so we both bet you can find the time too


I can't really answer your question though since I didn't plan while attending school. However, I was working full time and had a toddler when I was planning most of this...so I wasn't exactly free to plan most of the time.

 

[PreMedAdAG]

Sorry premedadag... I wasn't clear. I was sorta just replying to agree yet disagree with alison_in_oh. She said her DH planned everything (in reply to you saying it's traditionally the woman's job)- I wanted to butt in and say "mine did nothing!" However, like I said, I do agree that he definitely can get involved (being that he may be less busy than you) because men can plan well. Or, as Alison indicated, her DH was able to get alot done while going to school so we both bet you can find the time too


I can't really answer your question though since I didn't plan while attending school. However, I was working full time and had a toddler when I was planning most of this...so I wasn't exactly free to plan most of the time.

yes, I definitely think raising kids is way harder than going to med school, so you definitely gave me some hope knowing that a mom could do it... no sweat!! ................. im gonna elope ha ha ha

 

[SaraL124]

My DH and I got married the summer before he started med school. It was fab. Obviously if you've already passsed that time window, I would reccomend the summer between 1st and 2nd years. I know a lot of people who got married at that time and they worked it out to have at least 5 days of honeymoon.

I did not find it very hard to plan my wedding with the help of my mother and MIL. We had it at a hotel so a wedding planner was included and she did a lot. I wasn't that picky so it was easy really. I only went to look at locations, pick flowers, watch videos of bands, and to dance lessons. Other than that, the wedding planner handled details. And I had the whole shabagng, big band, sit down dinner, nighttime party etc.