To have or not to have...a baby.

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englishivy

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I'm sorry if this has already been discussed. I searched and didn't find anything along these lines.
So I just got the last of my rejection letters today. While I am very sad and disappointed not to be moving on with PT school, I'm trying to look at what opportunities might be available to me over the next year until I apply again. For me, this definitely means retaking the GRE for a better score, beefing up my observation hours, and meeting with individual programs to express interest and to see how I can make myself a more desirable candidate.
I am also wondering if my husband and I should take advantage of this year by starting a family. I am a 27-year old non-traditional, and my husband is 31. In the last couple of years, I was told by a medical professional that I may not have an easy time getting pregnant. If I wait to have a baby until after PT school, I will be at least 31, and I am concerned that I am pushing my luck by waiting.
To add to my anxiety on this matter, I was just speaking to a PT who said she waited until she was 30 to try to have a baby, and she wasn't able to. She ended up adopting two beautiful children, and she loves them, but she said that she will always be a little sad that she wasn't able to fulfill her dream of giving birth. She also said something along the lines of, you can always get through PT school with a kid, but you cannot always have a kid.
I guess my question is this: can I actually get through PT school with a baby? And has anyone else done so? I am particularly interested in getting a woman's perspective, but advice from both men and women is appreciated!

Thanks!
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Hehe I'm Kidden. Thats tough. It may be tough, but isnt that what family is about. Going through the struggles? Marriage is about commitment. Have it or not. I think the blessing is that you will have a child. You will work things out if you get into PT school.
 
You should ask yourself a few questions...

How are your finances? Will they suffice for 3 years? Baby expenses (i.e. daycare, consumables, healthcare)? If not, how much loan will you need? (Time to bust out that spreadsheet) I recommend doing a 3, 5 and 10 year models for expense and payback schedule to include interest and inflation. If your husband can afford CoL, tuition and baby expenses, then don't worry about that stuff.

Who will watch the baby when you attend school or need to study for an exam? Will the baby be relying on your breast milk or formula? What does your husband think? Family close by with disposable time for support? If you have committed family or friends for the duration of the 3-years then please disregard.

How are your stress handling skills? Are you able to go on little sleep, unbalanced sleeping schedule while being able to absorb large quantities of information during class hours? How self conscious are you with your body (imagine loose skin for the first 3-12 months)? PT schools require a lot of declothing for labs. (Only added this because some women become really self conscious after giving birth) If okay, then please disregard.

Good luck on your decision!
 
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Thank you pubicsymphysis :) Brief, to the point, and gave me a good laugh. I was sure that the first response would be something along the lines of, "Girl, you crazy!", so "Just do it" was rather unexpected (and I have to admit, kind of pleasant).
 
englishivy said:
Thank you pubicsymphysis :) Brief, to the point, and gave me a good laugh. I was sure that the first response would be something along the lines of, "Girl, you crazy!", so "Just do it" was rather unexpected (and I have to admit, kind of pleasant).
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Hahaha. Aww. Im glad you took it like that. The last thing i wanted was for people to think I was trolling haha. But Azimuthal makes some great points. GOOD LUCK!
 
Azimuthal said:
You should ask yourself a few questions...

How are your finances? Will they suffice for 3 years? Baby expenses (i.e. daycare, consumables, healthcare)? If not, how much loan will you need? (Time to bust out that spreadsheet) I recommend doing a 3, 5 and 10 year models for expense and payback schedule to include interest and inflation. If your husband can afford CoL, tuition and baby expenses, then don't worry about that stuff.

Who will watch the baby when you attend school or need to study for an exam? Will the baby be relying on your breast milk or formula? What does your husband think? Family close by with disposable time for support? If you have committed family or friends for the duration of the 3-years then please disregard.

How are your stress handling skills? Are you able to go on little sleep, unbalanced sleeping schedule while being able to absorb large quantities of information during class hours? How self conscious are you with your body (imagine loose skin for the first 3-12 months)? PT schools require a lot of declothing for labs. (Only added this because some women become really self conscious after giving birth) If okay, then please disregard.

Good luck on your decision!
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Thank you Azimuthal for your very thoughtful response and for the questions you posed. I like your idea to examine the payback schedule by 3, 5, and 10 years. Our finances are good right now, but I'm also not in school yet. As far as what kind of support we will have and how I will handle the lack of sleep, I'm really not sure. If I get into a school in my state, I will have two sets of very willing parents to watch a baby. If not, we will be on our own, and I really don't know what that will look like with a baby in tow. And lack of sleep...I've honestly never been in a situation where I had to learn a lot of information while sleeping few hours week after week. The body image thing...I can get over that! But it's a great point. Thanks for the food for thought...definitely gives me something to munch on :)
 
i'm sorry! I can't figure out how to post pictures on here! :(
 
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dalingil said:
I'm only 25 and have two kids... It has made my undergrad tough and I have not yet been accepted this round... Im on two waitlists. I would never trade my two kids for anything, not even for pt school. Have kids, you will not regret it!
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I'd agree with this statement if the OP was already pregnant or is a mother. However, she is not. All she has to trade is time.

I would personally finish PT school first as this will allow her more time and attention with her newborn in the future.
 
If you're applying again when the next cycle opens this coming July, do you really want to be pregnant/tending to a newborn during the interview process? You've gotta be sharp and not sleep deprived. But then if you wait until you get an acceptance, do you really want to be pregnant in school or during clinicals?? If there's any possibility that you can wait, then I would if I were in your position. PT school sounds to be stressful enough. Nothing sounds less appealing to me than trying to study for a huge exam and at the same time tending to a fussy, hungry, burping, farting, crying baby. :laugh:
 
nicolej5 said:
If you're applying again when the next cycle opens this coming July, do you really want to be pregnant/tending to a newborn during the interview process? You've gotta be sharp and not sleep deprived. But then if you wait until you get an acceptance, do you really want to be pregnant in school or during clinicals?? If there's any possibility that you can wait, then I would if I were in your position. PT school sounds to be stressful enough. Nothing sounds less appealing to me than trying to study for a huge exam and at the same time tending to a fussy, hungry, burping, farting, crying baby. :laugh:
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And they fart A LOT. Just sayin'.
 
I can't think of a single good reason to have a kid before PT school. This is almost a no-brainer to me. I know a couple classmates who are in 30 and have decided to postpone having kids until after PT school. Your rationale is that you might not be able to go through the birthing process, but you're only 27-years-old. I know your friend wasn't able to conceive, but fertility is highly variable.

You need to devote your energy and attention to your school work. You won't have time to take care of your child for 15-20 hours a week. If he gets sick, then who's going to take him to the pediatrician? Who's going to take care of this child? Who's going to give this child attention? Children are also very expensive, and I'm not sure you want to be paying for a child while paying for PT school, even if you could. School is stressful enough, and a child would be even more demanding.

I exhort you to wait until after school to have a child. I bet every adviser you talk to would recommend the same thing.

Kevin
 
Dalingil, Good luck getting into PT school! I hope it happens this year for you! I really admire you for starting this journey with two kiddo's...it shows a lot of strength! When you do get in, make sure to let me know what it's like being both a mom and a PT student.

nicolej5, I agree that going through the interview process and clinicals with a newborn baby would prove incredibly challenging, especially with sleep deprivation.

NewTestament, I know I'm only 27 and that fertility varies greatly. And I've spoken to or heard of women from ages 14-45 who have had children, but the reason I shared that particular story is because I myself have had issues that led my gyno to tell me that I may have difficulty getting pregnant. And statistically, pregnancies are more likely to be problematic when a woman is 30+ years. So that's two strikes against me. That said, getting pregnant may be a breeze. Unfortunately, you don't know until you try, which I never have.
Your points are all incredibly valid and I share the same concerns, but you have to understand that waiting until after school could very well mean not getting to experience pregnancy, breast-feeding, giving birth, and raising our own child. Thanks for your thoughts.

I'm still very interested to hear from current PT school moms...do they even exist?
 
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Azimuthal said:
I'd agree with this statement if the OP was already pregnant or is a mother. However, she is not. All she has to trade is time.

I would personally finish PT school first as this will allow her more time and attention with her newborn in the future.
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I think that this is a great point...finishing PT school would mean that I would actually get to be an attentive mother to my newborn, and really enjoy my time. However, once again, the concern is that it won't just be time that I'm trading, but that it will be the newborn.

You know, perhaps the question I need to ask myself is whether or not I'm willing to give pregnancy, child birth, and my own blood up in order to go to PT school. I really never considered adopting, but perhaps I need to be open to the possibility of it if I'm going to go through school before trying to have a baby.
 
There are a few people in my class that have kids, and one who has young kids (2 less than 3 yrs old) and it is hard on him - so idk how a mom would even do it. The amount of time that we have to put in as PT students, and it is hard on the dad's, I can't imagine what it would do to the mom's. IMO, i would wait, finish PT school and then try and have kids. There are no given's in life and who knows if you would even be able to get pregnant now (i hope you would be able to now, and in the future) but if you weren't able to do so and had to adopt, you would look back and say "if i knew we had to adopt then i would have gone to PT school first". Like I said, this is just my .02 worth, but only you and your husband can make this deThere are a few people in my class that have kids, and one who has young kids (2 less than 3 yrs old) and it is hard on him - so idk how a mom would even do it. The amount of time that we have to put in as PT students, and it is hard on the dad's, I can't imagine what it would do to the mom's. IMO, i would wait, finish PT school and then try and have kids. There are no given's in life and who knows if you would even be able to get pregnant now (i hope you would be able to now, and in the future) but if you weren't able to do so and had to adopt, you would look back and say "if i knew we had to adopt then i would have gone to PT school first". Like I said, this is just my .02 worth, but only you and your husband can make this decision... Good luck with it!cision... Good luck with it!
 
DPTHopeful921 said:
There are a few people in my class that have kids, and one who has young kids (2 less than 3 yrs old) and it is hard on him - so idk how a mom would even do it. The amount of time that we have to put in as PT students, and it is hard on the dad's, I can't imagine what it would do to the mom's. IMO, i would wait, finish PT school and then try and have kids. There are no given's in life and who knows if you would even be able to get pregnant now (i hope you would be able to now, and in the future) but if you weren't able to do so and had to adopt, you would look back and say "if i knew we had to adopt then i would have gone to PT school first". Like I said, this is just my .02 worth, but only you and your husband can make this deThere are a few people in my class that have kids, and one who has young kids (2 less than 3 yrs old) and it is hard on him - so idk how a mom would even do it. The amount of time that we have to put in as PT students, and it is hard on the dad's, I can't imagine what it would do to the mom's. IMO, i would wait, finish PT school and then try and have kids. There are no given's in life and who knows if you would even be able to get pregnant now (i hope you would be able to now, and in the future) but if you weren't able to do so and had to adopt, you would look back and say "if i knew we had to adopt then i would have gone to PT school first". Like I said, this is just my .02 worth, but only you and your husband can make this decision... Good luck with it!cision... Good luck with it!
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Thanks for your insights DPTHopeful! It's nice to hear from someone in a program who has seen the extra challenges faced by PT students with kids. It's true, I don't know if I would be able to get pregnant now, but if we tried and I wasn't able to, we wouldn't consider adopting until after PT school, FYI. The sole reason for having a kid now would be that the biological clock is ticking...tick tock...tick tock....:)
 
I am currently 26 and my fiance is 30, we are getting married in October. I was just accepted into a PT program that will start this summer. We have had the same conversation about when is the right time to start a family. I had similar thoughts about my age and seeming that I may be old when we start a family. We decided to hold off until after I finish the program or possibly till my third year; I will be 29 turning 30 in October.
Each body is different but starting a family at 30 is not a problem, it's when you are in your late 30s approaching 40 when negative issues and complications can occur. I would suggest you hold off and see how the demands of PT school is on you first and see if it is possible to juggle the two; if so go ahead. Or maybe you get pregnant your last year when you are just doing your internships; it may be more manageable. Or maybe wait till your fully graduated. It is possible for the right persons to juggle the two. Both of my parents were in medical school when they had my older brother and I. They were already half way done with their program tho, also its like 8 years lol. They were able to manage. So it all depends on the individual.
Hope this helps and good luck!!
 
Englishivy, this is a very difficult situation for you & your husband, but I think you both need to evaluate how important PT school & having a baby are to you both. If there is a high chance you won't be able to conceive after PT school, then I'd go ahead and try now. Yes, it will be hard taking care of a baby while you're in school, but later you might not even be able to have one. PT school is important, but is it more important than family?

There is a 1st year PT student I know who had a baby right before he started PT school. Him & his wife have been able to take care of the baby just fine and he is able to study and do well in school. It's very hard, but it is doable.

As women, it's hard for us to balance a career and family. It really is hard for us to have both and I do think it's possible. I wish you the best in whatever you choose!
 
Also check with schools that you are interested in. Some schools may have on-campus day care. Also different PT programs may handle it in different ways. I have had some students bring young babies into class. It is really not a problem when they are really young since their goals in life are to eat, sleep, and have their diaper changed, not necessarily in that order. If your school has a cadaver lab, I would assume that the baby would not be allowed in under any conditions.

You may also need to rearrange clinic times, particularly if you are pregnant at the time. See what the schools will do in this case.

We have had several students become pregnant right before or during PT school. Most make it through. I will not say that it is easy, but it can be done.

I think that DPTHopeful2012 said it very well above.
 
I agree with some on this posting. You should evaluate the pros and cons of having a baby now rather than waiting until after PT school. If the pros outweigh the cons, then go for it. Biologically, the window of opportunity varies for everyone and I would suggest consulting with a physician on the topic. Ultimately it is up to you and no one on here knows your situation like you do. I hope my feedback is useful. :D
 
I just stopped being a lurker, so let me go ahead & weigh in on your reproductive options (ha!)

If you're planning on becoming a parent, and also planning on becoming a PT, then your next few years of life are going to be crazy busy regardless of how you choose to order those events. Will it be hard to have a young baby while doing a DPT? Absolutely! If you wait to have a kid, will it be hard to have a young baby while starting a PT practice? Indeed! The joy is in the struggle, and no matter which way you proceed there will be plenty.

If I wanted to have kids, I would not wait. I tend to make such decisions by weighing the downside risk, and for me the risk of not being able to have children outweighs the risk of having a particularly hard time in PT school.
 
I apologize for my absence from this thread over the last week. Between finals and being sick, well, you get the idea. I really appreciate all of the thoughts and opinions in this thread. It was particularly helpful to hear stories from those involved in PT school right now who have seen women and men get through with a baby (with much difficulty!).
As of midweek, my schooling options have changed. I was notified that I have been accepted to one of the programs I applied to. I am very excited, and at this time, we have chosen to focus on school for at least a year before reevaluating the baby thing.
As DPTHopeful2012 mentioned, it is a huge challenge for women to do both a career and babies...but I think it's possible! In fact, one of the perks of being a PT is that it's a career that gives a fair deal of schedule flexibility to mother's (according to conversation's I've had with female PT's).
Thanks to all "weighed in on my reproductive options" (in the words of captainterrific) :)
 
englishivy -

Congrats on your acceptance and all the best for when you decide to start your family! :)
 
Congrats! I just wanted to check in here. I am walking in my class's graduation tomorrow though I have a month and a half to go on my final clinical. I got thru 2 clinicals (6 weeks and 13 weeks) and a short trimester (9weeks) pregnant and am in week 7/13 in my clinical as a mother. My program was very supportive as were my final clinicals (my CI and I were 9 and 8 months pregnant respectively at end of last clinical and this clinical allowed me to start a month and a half late). Pregnancy wasn't too bad (an easy one from what I've heard) and I'm a very mellow and level person. This clinical is kicking my butt though - I'm keeping up and doing well but it's very hard to be apart from baby and exhausting to spread my time between work and home. I would never trade my son for being done or having an easier time with this clinical. Do what you need/want to do. I didn't check in with my program before we started trying I just presented it as "I'm pregnant, what does this change?"
 
Its totally possible to have kids and at the same time attend professional school. My wife is a good example of that, we got pregnant while she was in dental school. At the time she was taking boards, doing clinical rotations and she managed to do it all plus pass the licensure exam (WREB) no problems. I helped out here and there, while attending school, work and volunteering. Its possible and totally worth it! :thumbup:
 
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