Tough First Semester Feedback

[clinicalpsyapp]

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So, as in most clinical psych programs, my program has a faculty meeting at set times in the program to discuss students and provide feedback. In my program, they do this at the end of the first semester, end of the second semester, and once a year thereafter. Anyway, my advisor provided me with my feedback yesterday and it was a little hard to hear.

Some of it pertained to things that were the result of a chronic medical condition I have that usually does not affect me too much but was very severe last semester because my medication stopped working--but the rest was relatively harsh and specific, and seemingly all coming from one professor. I heavily clashed with this professor and so I expected some issues, but not for him to basically tear me apart in front of the other faculty. I have NEVER clashed with a professor to this extent, and he is the DCT on top of everything, which doesn't help. After I explained to my advisor (who wasn't at the meeting because she is on sabbatical) that a lot of the feedback sounded like interactions I had with one professor, she said that based on her information that was a logical conclusion. So unfortunately, there's not much I can do about this situation. I don't have this professor this semester (but obviously still need to interact with him about externship next semester) but am now aware of how I need to restrict my interactions with him. Also, I am doing MUCH better this semester in terms of my health, which has greatly improved my performance.

I'm not looking for advice on my specific situation, just to commiserate with other students who received negative feedback from a performance review--and maybe how they coped with it. Also, I hear (and this was true in my case) that they do not typically provide you with positive feedback, just criticism--something about how they expect you will continue doing the positive things but they want to let you know about the negative things so you can make changes. Anyone else have this experience?

 

[PsychScience]

I'm not looking for advice on my specific situation, just to commiserate with other students who received negative feedback from a performance review--and maybe how they coped with it. Also, I hear (and this was true in my case) that they do not typically provide you with positive feedback, just criticism--something about how they expect you will continue doing the positive things but they want to let you know about the negative things so you can make changes. Anyone else have this experience?

This sounds like a really difficult situation- it is always difficult to get negative feedback, let alone negative feedback that pertained to things that you had very little control over. I had a similar experience with my DCT in my first year- we just did not get along for various reasons. When it came to my annual review, she did a similar thing. Although, luckily, my adviser was present to put many of the complaints into context and come to my defense. This also resulted in me getting more balanced feedback than it sounds like you received. Even still, the criticisms she threw at me seemed really unnecessary and also not accurate. My feelings were definitely hurt, and it took me some time to rally and recover. I coped with the feedback by taking an attitude of "I'll show her". This really helped me to focus my own negative responses to this particular DCT by channeling my energy into being one of the best students in my cohort (sublimination?!?!). Good luck! I know it seems really painful now, but I swear, once you get past this and move out of the nuclear world of your department, where things seem to be exponentially more difficult and political, this will seem like a very minor thing.

I should also add, by the end of the 2nd year, my relationship with my DCT was completely different! We get along fairly well now, which is a shocker considering the clashes that we had 1st year.

 

[InNae]

That does sound like a difficult situation. I can commiserate based on my own grad school (clinical PhD) experience. Although my overall performance was fine early on in my grad years, I received some very specific constructive criticism from my advisor and from my DGS. I remember feeling some (unwarranted) shame at the time that for the first time in my academic career I was receiving less-than-stellar ratings. I decided to suppress my natural response (defensiveness) and focused instead on developing the areas of concern. I successfully completed the program, and received feedback that the faculty both saw great improvement and perceived my strategy as a very mature response. I think a willingness to "show them" (per PsychScience's post), which I interpret as a willingness to develop the relevant areas, is commendable.

I am now a faculty member, and I am continually amazed at the range of student responses to feedback. In general, and regardless of reality, the students who accept the feedback and quietly start to make changes leave a better impression than the students who argue every single point of feedback. The latter seem to believe that critical feedback is a reflection of our impression of their ability, which is usually not the case.

Although you are not seeking advice, I'd nonetheless like to provide one faculty member's insight. I/we do not expect students (or applicants!) to be fully-formed and perfect. We *do* take very seriously our responsibility to help students develop to their full potential. I am very careful to explicitly explain to students that they are expected to work on areas of relative weakness (and that we ALL have them). Not all faculty take the time to preface critical feedback with a reminder that perfection is not expected, and it can feel pretty awful sometimes to us overachievers!

All the best with forging ahead, and remember that you need only be truly worried when you receive no feedback at all - that usually happens only when a student is determined to be a lost cause (i.e., unable and/or unwilling to make progress).

Good luck with the rest of your grad program - I think your post reflects conscientiousness, and I'm sure you'll do well!

 

[Marissa4usa]

Hi clinicalpsyapp,
I really feel for you. I am a second year graduate student and like you, I clashed horribly with my then-thesis advisor and professor I was a TA for.
While I do agree that feedback is good and necessary to help someone improve in these areas, I do believe that there are ways to communicate this criticism that do not leave one feeling like one is a complete and utter failure. I am especially surprised how this can be done by individuals who have received their PhD in Clinical Psychology who above all should know that there are effective and non-effecitve ways to give feedback.

Anyways, during my first semester I made several small (!!!!) mistakes as a TA. For example it was my responsbility to create exams for the class (which I myself had never taken as an undergrad) from scratch. Note that those were multiple choice questions, so I'm not sure how much I needed to "know" the content to make up mc-questions.I mean I read the book and based on that created questions. I didn't study the material like I was going to take the exam. Because I wasn't able to answer all the questions, I was harshly criticized by her that I as a grad student did not know these things. Moreoever, was I to write an abstract for a poster submission for a project that I had literally been involved in for 3 weeks and that had nothing to do with my research interest. I had never written an abstract independently and it didn't turn out to her satisfaction. Besides that I did great in my classes and got great feedback from other professors I had been involved in, however, because she was the department chair, her criticism outweighed everything, giving the impression that I was complete and utter failure. In addition she literally mocked my thesis idea, pretty much telling me that I am insane to wanting to do this. I was very miserable. well, long story short, I decided to switch advisors. It took a lot of guts telling her that I would like to work with another professor but I am SO HAPPY! It was the best decision I made. I have received great reviews ever since. I am doing the research I want to do and above all, my thesis is on exactly what I wanted to do and exactly the design I wanted to do. I have been avoiding her to my best abilities and it has worked pretty well. I'm not sure what exactly her opinion is of me since I am sure she doesn't hear anything substantially negative from other profs about me but I am sure that if I ever got back to working with her, our relationship would be bad.

I hoped this helped you a bit. All I can tell you is to stay away as far as possible. It is okay to be criticized and you should hope and ask for criticism to become better but if someone thinks it's okay to just put you down, then I think it's time to just move on. Build rapport with other profs and if/when you need to work with her again, put in the extra effort to make absolutely no mistakes, especially if you may need for references/recommendations.

 

[Doctor Eliza]

I went to a graduate program where I had several experiences like yours: harsh feedback, holding a medical condition against me, and a professor who was out to get me. It was a nightmare, but somehow I made it through. You can too.

One piece of advice: make sure your medical condition is documented with the office for students for disabilities. This makes it harder for them to punish you for it. (It didn't stop my program, but it set me up to pursue legal action if necessary). If you have any questions about this, feel free to contact me.

Okay, another piece of advice...make sure you have an advisor who is an advocate for you. My master's advisor would not stand up for me, but my dissertation advisor would go to bat for me. It made a huge difference and allowed me to make it through the program.

Best,
Dr. Eliza

 

[242598]

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[Xararsis]

Question: What if your problems are primarily with your advisor?

I'm in my 2nd semester in a clinical PhD program. I had some issues last semester due to a chronic illness-- which I discussed with the DCT and my advisor-- but I did well in all of my coursework and it seemed like my advisor was okay with the research progress I'd made, even though I had some obvious gaps in the background literature because her focus was still new to me. I followed her advice, did a ton of reading over winter break, and began running some basic analyses on pre-existing data.

This semester I am taking a heavier than normal course load because a required class for the first year wasn't taught in the fall as usual. I'm also helping with the study design for a lab research project we're hoping to start up in the fall. Needless to say, this leaves me less time for my own research project. My advisor doesn't seem to be very sensitive to this and has given me extremely mixed feedback on my work. She is upset with my stats background even though I took the required course for 1st years last semester and got an A. Some weeks she wants me to enrich my stats background on my own and other weeks she tells me not to overextend myself because I "just won't get it". A month ago she wanted me to aim to get a manuscript written over the summer but then she told me that actually, anything I do now would be unpublishable because you can't publish using only regressions and MANOVAs (?). The latest feedback is that I don't know anything about research methods (which is a course I'm taking right now, along with all of the other first years) and should buy the textbook the undergrads use in their course and possibly start sitting in on their classes.

This is really frustrating because I feel like her expectations for me are far above the feedback the other first year students are getting from their advisors. At the same time, I'm also being told that I'm inept and shouldn't even think about touching her data anymore. I try to clarify her expectations and goals for the next week at the end of our meetings but she tends to forget what she's told me from week to week because she never writes anything down. I've also become hesitant to ask questions because last week she lectured me on time management, independence, and whether or not I belong in grad school. I'm also upset because I never claimed to have a phenomenal background in stats or research methods when I applied, but I know that I have mastered what I learned in class. Plus, I have a first authored paper under review from the job I had before grad school, so I must know something about research methods, right? And I don't feel that my advisor would be an advocate for me during the end-of-year evals; in fact, if I get any negative feedback, it would come from her.

Sorry for the rant. I'm torn about what to do. I love my program but I know that I can't keep having advisor issues for the next 5-6 years of my life. Basically the entire department (including students in my lab) agree that she can be difficult and has a very fluctuating mood. On the other hand, she's a *big* name and is a wonderful resource for manuscript editing (assuming I get there), LORs, networking, etc. It is very unlikely that I could switch advisors here based on my interests and I am certain that trying to do so would send my current advisor on a warpath. Some of my classmates have suggested talking to the ombudsman or the DCT but I would really, really like to avoid that if at all possible.

Any advice would be MUCH appreciated.

I see two main options that possibly coincide with one another and both will require assertiveness on your part. The first is to go to a different professor (likely the DCT) and explain your justified frustrations. Then, in that same meeting, try to get some concrete advice for how to approach this subject with your advisor with tact. Second would be to approach your advisor with a list of concerns and see how she responds to them.

 

[bmedclinic]

So, as in most clinical psych programs, my program has a faculty meeting at set times in the program to discuss students and provide feedback. In my program, they do this at the end of the first semester, end of the second semester, and once a year thereafter. Anyway, my advisor provided me with my feedback yesterday and it was a little hard to hear.

Some of it pertained to things that were the result of a chronic medical condition I have that usually does not affect me too much but was very severe last semester because my medication stopped working--but the rest was relatively harsh and specific, and seemingly all coming from one professor. I heavily clashed with this professor and so I expected some issues, but not for him to basically tear me apart in front of the other faculty. I have NEVER clashed with a professor to this extent, and he is the DCT on top of everything, which doesn't help. After I explained to my advisor (who wasn't at the meeting because she is on sabbatical) that a lot of the feedback sounded like interactions I had with one professor, she said that based on her information that was a logical conclusion. So unfortunately, there's not much I can do about this situation. I don't have this professor this semester (but obviously still need to interact with him about externship next semester) but am now aware of how I need to restrict my interactions with him. Also, I am doing MUCH better this semester in terms of my health, which has greatly improved my performance.

I'm not looking for advice on my specific situation, just to commiserate with other students who received negative feedback from a performance review--and maybe how they coped with it. Also, I hear (and this was true in my case) that they do not typically provide you with positive feedback, just criticism--something about how they expect you will continue doing the positive things but they want to let you know about the negative things so you can make changes. Anyone else have this experience?

I can comisserate a bit. In fact, I think one of my first posts on this board was somewhat similar (different and inappropriate, in retrospect, but I really felt like a faculty member was completely out to get me). The difference is that a) that was 3 years ago and b) my advisor was the DCT, so I was in a little bit of a better situation in one regard.

I'm sorry you feel that your medical health is being held against you; that's tough. In my case, the manner in which I asked questions in one course upset a professor who I believe has self esteeem issues; emails were sent around, and it got out of hand a bit. Anyways, all of this to tell you that fast forward 3 years and when I had my evaluation a month or so ago, they pretty much laughed, treated me like their friend, and said something to the effect of "nah, you're good. You're set. Just keep doing your deal. Work on that dissertation and I guess, if you have any classes left, take those." Seriously, not a single negative thing- I was stunned. It'll get better. I know many PhD's who say grad school was the hardest time of their career, and this is why!

 

[DrivenDoctoress]

My advice is a little different from some of the advice here that instructed you to lay low and avoid the professor/DCT to the extent possible. I would advise that you set up a meeting with the DCT and very humbly and professionally explain that you would really like to work on improving the areas where you received negative feedback, and ask if she (just assuming it's a she) can offer you some specific guidance and suggestions so that by this time next year you can have those areas or weaknesses ironed out. I am not saying that ANY of the negative comments were deserved on your part, but I do think it can go a long way to confront the problem (this nasty DCT) head on but with grace and humility, and people will generally come around. If you never confront it and just avoid her as much as possible then her opinion of you will likely remain frozen exactly as it is.

Please don't take this as gloating, but I'd like to debunk the concept that positive feedback isn't given. In my experience (clinical PhD program), myself and most of my cohort mates got very positive specific feedback in addition to areas to build on. This is probably a function of the vibe of my program... a very supportive and encouraging, but challenging, atmosphere. One semester an out-of-department person was asked to join in on my review because I was engaged in some side research with him. He made a couple nasty comments about the spin I put on things in a particular lit review I'd done (we had had a few disagreements about what the literature was really saying on an issue) and all at once, EVERY professor sitting around the conference table jumped to my defense and said I was a student with exemplary research skills. It was really great, but I took his nasty comments personally and was pretty hurt. But I took my own above advice and met with him and said that I noticed that he had some concern about my interpretation of scholarly readings and I really wanted to get some feedback from him in order to really nail this skill in the future. Even though it was an awkward meeting, he gave me his feedback and he wrote a nice email about me to my advisor, saying that he really appreciated me coming to him. A complete 180 from the way he acted in my review. It seems sometimes people just really want to be heard, so I say give it to 'em and hopefully they'll get over themselves and get back to trying to support and encourage your growth as a young professional.