UC Davis vs. Auburn (an updated debate)

[dew5]

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Hi all, it's me (again). I made a post here a while back and have essentially narrowed my choices down to UC Davis (IS based on residency) and Auburn (IS due to military).

For the past month(-ish?) I have been pretty set on Auburn. Placed a seat deposit. Told everyone that I am 99.5% Auburn, 0.5% Davis. Planning to invest ~$35k in housing on Wednesday. With the start of school looming ever nearer, I keep getting this nagging feeling that I'm making the wrong choice. I can't tell if this is just me being afraid of moving somewhere totally different from home (new culture, new climate), the truly negligible "school rankings" getting in my head, the feeling that I'm being pulled in different directions by people/events in my personal life, or a combination of everything.

Here are the relevant parts of my previous "Help Me Decide: Vet School X vs Y" post:

Currently, my interest is in mixed animal general practice.

UC Davis is my instate. After attending their admitted student day I felt that the faculty and my potential future cohort were all very friendly and personable. Although they track (small animal vs large animal), it seems that there are still plenty of opportunities/electives/externships that align with my interest in mixed animal medicine. As far as “reputation” is concerned, the program speaks for itself. This is seemingly the obvious choice.

However, my husband (who is active-duty military) is currently stationed in Gulf Port, Mississippi and projected to be there until 2029. Him and I have been doing long distance for about 8 months now and I gotta be honest, it’s quite ****ty. Auburn is within driving distance to him (~4 hours). Realistically, this means visiting once a month maybe? Not ideal, but definitely more time than we’ve been able to do now living on opposite sides of the country. He has VERY selflessly, graciously, compassionately offered to transfer his GI Bill benefit to me. According to Auburn’s Veteran Affairs Center, this means that I qualify for in state tuition. That said, this would make Auburn the more cost-effective option than Davis (especially when cost of living is taken into account). ** ETA: Calculated this out to an approximately $40,000 difference after four years. Most people (myself included) have preached about choosing the more affordable school above all else.

The Auburn campus is beautiful and the city itself is a comfortable size. Not too metropolitan but not too remote either. My in-laws live in Mobile (~3 hours from campus). I really wish I could have attended their admitted student day to meet the class of 2030 cohort but unfortunately it was the day after Davis’s. I did have the opportunity to tour the CVM in January and the students and faculty were so kind.

As an aside, I do have animals that would be moving with me (2 horses). The mule is, unfortunately, *quite* ancient and I wouldn’t feel justified uprooting her, hauling her somewhere 2+ days away, and forcing her to adjust to a place that gets as humid as the South does. Comparatively, Davis is a reasonable distance away from where she is currently boarded (~5 hours) with similar weather.

Now for some additional context that was not included in my first post:

My parents are both experiencing health issues. They live in California and travel for them would be difficult - which means visiting them only on the occasional holiday (naturally, with being busy while in school). Perhaps TMI but relevant to my decision-making struggle, my dad had a massive heart attack last year and is now facing a recent Parkinson's diagnosis. It feels incredibly selfish of me to deliberately move out of state to be closer to my husband, when Davis would be a much more reasonable option to be close to family that can't travel (especially in the event my dad has another health emergency).

I am also riddled with guilt that I will be leaving my mule behind. She is in great hands at her current boarding facility with friends that have selflessly offered to look after her while I'm in school, but again she is ancient and chances are it'll be an inevitable goodbye that I can't be there for (overly sentimental, I know).

And yet, the idea of choosing UC Davis feels selfish because I would be making the "logistically easier" choice over my partner. He has said time and again that he will support my decision regardless of where I choose. But I know that deep down he's rooting for Auburn. And even this isn't a "close" option (4 hours of driving is still 4 hours of driving). And of course, there is the present uncertainty regarding the state of the world and military matters.

If circumstances were different... I know I'd be choosing UC Davis. Auburn didn't even make the list until last minute (I wasn't able to confirm with admissions beforehand if my coursework would be accepted but I decided to shoot my shot). I have made countless pros and cons lists, up to the most irrelevant details (like the fact that I absolutely despise the color orange but hey, at least Auburn's got a Bucc-ee's) and I still feel so unsure if I'm making the right decision.

I have already received great advice here and on Reddit. So, to be honest, I don't know what else I am looking for or if there is anything else to be said that will provide me with better clarity. I genuinely understand how lucky I am to have these choices, but at present, I just feel torn.

 

[JaynaAli]

Flip a coin. If you’re sad with the result, go to the other one.

I mean, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and there’s pros and cons to both. I don’t think there is a singular “right” answer. It’s sometimes hard to balance family and a significant other. My own dad is probably developing Parkinson’s (has developed a hand and leg tremor at rest, MRI next a week to further investigate structural issues then will get referred to neuro but we all think it’s likely Parkinson’s) so I understand that more than most, but a medical emergency will suck and be disruptive whether you’re close or farther away. Planes exist and you don’t know if there will even be an issue. My family would want me to choose the cheaper option and be with my spouse but this is something you’re just gonna have to decide on, just go with, and not dwell on the what ifs

 

[battie]

Perhaps TMI but relevant to my decision-making struggle, my dad had a massive heart attack last year and is now facing a recent Parkinson's diagnosis. It feels incredibly selfish of me to deliberately move out of state to be closer to my husband, when Davis would be a much more reasonable option to be close to family that can't travel (especially in the event my dad has another health emergency).

I'm so sorry about your dad 🧡

There may be a cultural difference between us, so take this in that light. But you absolutely have to take care of yourself and your needs before that of your parents to the best of your ability.

My sister died while I was in vet school. She was at home in Denver, I was at Illinois. Unless I was at CSU, there would have been no difference in the events of traveling regardless of where I was. When there's an emergency, the travel in this country will be a wash. Even though it feels like being closer like Davis is, the difference in travel may be negligible depending on where in CA your family would be.

Likewise, my dad was hospitalized and sketchy a few years ago. I ended up traveling to see him after a string of overnights, being there for a few days, and then coming home to the fam to go to work the next day. They're in San Antonio. But I still couldn't go immediately because of real life. It's safe to assume the same would happen for you if your dad deteriorated while you're in school.

I am also riddled with guilt that I will be leaving my mule behind. She is in great hands at her current boarding facility with friends that have selflessly offered to look after her while I'm in school, but again she is ancient and chances are it'll be an inevitable goodbye that I can't be there for (overly sentimental, I know).

Im also sorry for your old lady 🧡

You can only do your best for the critters.

And yet, the idea of choosing UC Davis feels selfish because I would be making the "logistically easier" choice over my partner. He has said time and again that he will support my decision regardless of where I choose. But I know that deep down he's rooting for Auburn.

If your partner truly has an opinion, they need to voice it. You can't just work off assumptions. It's not fair to you. If they say they'll be happy either way, that's what you have to base your choice on.

 

[dew5]

Flip a coin. If you’re sad with the result, go to the other one.

I mean, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and there’s pros and cons to both. I don’t think there is a singular “right” answer. It’s sometimes hard to balance family and a significant other. My own dad is probably developing Parkinson’s (has developed a hand and leg tremor at rest, MRI next a week to further investigate structural issues then will get referred to neuro but we all think it’s likely Parkinson’s) so I understand that more than most, but a medical emergency will suck and be disruptive whether you’re close or farther away. Planes exist and you don’t know if there will even be an issue. My family would want me to choose the cheaper option and be with my spouse but this is something you’re just gonna have to decide on, just go with, and not dwell on the what ifs

Thank you so much for your response. I have seen you give plenty of great advice to others throughout this forum and I really appreciate you taking the time to do the same for me.

The truth is, I have done the coin toss trick a couple times over the course of the past few months, and regardless of which side it lands on I feel sad for different reasons. I agree that there isn't a singular right answer here, which would likely account for those feelings.

It hurts knowing that as time goes on there will be less of the real him with every passing visit, but I suppose that can said regardless of where I go to school.

I'm so sorry about your dad. It's such a scary, completely unfair diagnosis.

I'm going to take your advice and try hard not to dwell on the what ifs.

 

[dew5]

I'm so sorry about your dad 🧡

There may be a cultural difference between us, so take this in that light. But you absolutely have to take care of yourself and your needs before that of your parents to the best of your ability.

My sister died while I was in vet school. She was at home in Denver, I was at Illinois. Unless I was at CSU, there would have been no difference in the events of traveling regardless of where I was. When there's an emergency, the travel in this country will be a wash. Even though it feels like being closer like Davis is, the difference in travel may be negligible depending on where in CA your family would be.

Likewise, my dad was hospitalized and sketchy a few years ago. I ended up traveling to see him after a string of overnights, being there for a few days, and then coming home to the fam to go to work the next day. They're in San Antonio. But I still couldn't go immediately because of real life. It's safe to assume the same would happen for you if your dad deteriorated while you're in school.



Im also sorry for your old lady 🧡

You can only do your best for the critters.



If your partner truly has an opinion, they need to voice it. You can't just work off assumptions. It's not fair to you. If they say they'll be happy either way, that's what you have to base your choice on.

Thank you so much for your response. Like I told Jayna, I have seen you give plenty of great advice to others throughout this forum and I really appreciate you taking the time to do the same for me.

You're right - when it comes down to it, I need to look out for me (I'm really bad at that), and I know that's what they want too.

I'm really sorry you went through that. That's awful. My parents are in southern California (about a 6-7 hours' drive away from Davis) so the unfortunate reality is that Davis feels like a "close" option, but it's really not.

Thank you for your kind words and for sharing those personal experiences with me.

You make a good point, and I actually brought that up with him last night - he finally voiced that he wants Auburn, he just didn't want his feelings to sway my decision one way or the other.

 

[mw1356]

My parents are in southern California (about a 6-7 hours' drive away from Davis) so the unfortunate reality is that Davis feels like a "close" option, but it's really not.

i ended up picking a vet school that was a further drive from home but easier to get to via plane. ofc driving is cheaper and easier to do on short notice than flying, but you could likely fly home from auburn in a similarish amount of time to driving from davis if you need to (if my very brief google maps search is to be trusted)

 

[dew5]

i ended up picking a vet school that was a further drive from home but easier to get to via plane. ofc driving is cheaper and easier to do on short notice than flying, but you could likely fly home from auburn in a similarish amount of time to driving from davis if you need to (if my very brief google maps search is to be trusted)

Yes, this is relatively true - thank you, this helps!

 

[supershorty]

This is a hard decision that you've clearly put a lot of thought into, and I think it's further complicated by the fact that it's not a decision with one correct answer and one incorrect one.

I don't know how close Auburn is to an airport, but California is also a large state - going to Davis may still take you significant travel time to get to your parents. When it comes to Auburn, 4 hours of driving is nothing to sneeze at, and when you're a busy student, it may not be very feasible. On the other hand, and this may just be me reading into the tone of your first post ... I kind of get the feeling that you either want to go to Davis more, or will feel very guilty if you don't. Possibly moreso than if the situation is reversed.

None of us can tell you which one is the "better" choice - you'll get an excellent education at either one. But I'll tell you that it's okay to choose either, and if you end up choosing Davis, that doesn't make you a bad partner or anything like that. Whichever choice you make, don't make yourself miserable thinking about the hypotheticals if you went to the other one.

 

[CuriousEventer]

i ended up picking a vet school that was a further drive from home but easier to get to via plane. ofc driving is cheaper and easier to do on short notice than flying, but you could likely fly home from auburn in a similarish amount of time to driving from davis if you need to (if my very brief google maps search is to be trusted)

Commute is pretty similar timewise if you get a direct flight out of ATL to LAX and it isn't delayed. LAX sucks but the FLYAWAY bus it Van Nuys airport helps so family wouldn't have to pick you up at LAX. Might be other shuttle services

 

[dew5]

This is a hard decision that you've clearly put a lot of thought into, and I think it's further complicated by the fact that it's not a decision with one correct answer and one incorrect one.

I don't know how close Auburn is to an airport, but California is also a large state - going to Davis may still take you significant travel time to get to your parents. When it comes to Auburn, 4 hours of driving is nothing to sneeze at, and when you're a busy student, it may not be very feasible. On the other hand, and this may just be me reading into the tone of your first post ... I kind of get the feeling that you either want to go to Davis more, or will feel very guilty if you don't. Possibly moreso than if the situation is reversed.

None of us can tell you which one is the "better" choice - you'll get an excellent education at either one. But I'll tell you that it's okay to choose either, and if you end up choosing Davis, that doesn't make you a bad partner or anything like that. Whichever choice you make, don't make yourself miserable thinking about the hypotheticals if you went to the other one.

Thank you for your insight. You’re correct that Davis will still take a significant amount of travel time to get to my parents (approximately 6-7 hrs drive, as they are in Southern California).

Even without considering familial proximity (or lack thereof), I truly believe it is the latter: the guilt of turning down Davis. It always felt like such a “reach” school. I felt unequivocally more excited (shocked even?) getting an acceptance call from a Davis area code than from an Auburn area code. So, I do feel guilty at the thought of turning down a school I imagined myself attending but never really felt I’d have the option to. Does that make sense? Again, overly sentimental reasons (even as I’m typing it out, I am rolling my eyes at myself).

And thank you for stating it’s okay to choose either. Above all, I really needed to hear that. Regardless of which school I choose I know that I will really have to make the effort not to question if I made the right decision.

 

[dew5]

Commute is pretty similar timewise if you get a direct flight out of ATL to LAX and it isn't delayed. LAX sucks but the FLYAWAY bus it Van Nuys airport helps so family wouldn't have to pick you up at LAX. Might be other shuttle services

That’s very true. Yes, the FLYAWAY has been a life saver for me on countless occasions haha. Thanks again, I’ve really appreciated your support throughout this process 🫶