Uncertainty in Life

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[Goro]

Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren

We can only advise on going to med school

 

[blankspace38]

Dear Abby by Abigail Van Buren

We can only advise on going to med school

Yes I understand. I do think about pursuing medicine too. These are just thoughts I have toward what action to take in life and i want to see what you all have to say. Thank you.

 

[DrFortiusNatando]

Hello everyone,

Lately I've been feeling down about many aspects of my life. I'm very overwhelmed with how my career is not where it should be. I thought about medical school then I realize it will take too long. Then I even thought of Pharmacy and Optometry and I realize these careers take a bit more time as well, but of course not as long as the medicine route.

I am 31 and I know I know I am still considered young by nature but when I look at how my friends, they are mostly in late 20s and early 30s, and some acquaintances I know they are doing better than I am in terms of careerwise, I get mad at myself how I wasted many years being uncertain and being unconfident of myself and my own skills.

I started a nursing program back in 2011 and did not finish it because I was stressed out and was very uncertain about my career choice and also of my ability in pursuing any higher up career choice such as MD medicine route, dentist route, OD, PharmD, etc. I used to believe that a job title doesn't matter but it does in the real world and it always help to have license here and there for job security-- and everyone wants job security and with the rise in cost of living, financial security is more important than ever. I know I will love whatever career choice I choose-- I have been working since I left the nursing program

I talked to my nurse professor and she said she can have me finish the nursing program and then later on I can get my MSN and then become an NP which I believe is almost equilavent to a Physician Assistant's job/responsibility. However I am unsure if I should pursue this path any longer. I still love and enjoy working in the medical field due to its exciting and changing nature.

Then there is the romance part of my life that I am unsatisfied with. It just seems everyone is dating seriously or married in my age group and I am feeling a bit left out. I am seeing a guy and he is a software engineer and I do like him but I feel like we are just playing around and I don't see a future with him. He said he doesn't want to get married and have kids while I want to have one or two of my own in the future.

There is another guy I've been talking to and meeting now and then--three times since we first connected again after not seeing each other for over five years. He is in his radiology training and I do like him but he is in a relationship with this one girl; he lives in upstate New York for the radiology residency so we didn't get together because of the long distance thing and also because I was seeing another person (I am no longer dating that guy). It annoyed the heck out of me when I found out he started seeing someone else while I was trying to connect and hope we could make something good out of this friendship and start some serious romance. We still chat on Facebook and text here and there but I feel like it might not go anywhere in the future as well.

And of course it doesn't help when I hear stories from divorcee and never-married people who are in their 40s and 50s and how they said marriage is a trap and that you will change career. All of these thoughts do not how me how to stabilize my life and give me comfort in any way.

So there you have it. My life. The career part sucks. The romance part sucks.

Do you have any suggestion on how to deal with these situations?

1) Should I continue to pursue nursing or should I pursue other career paths? I do like optometry, it seems like a chilled and fulfilling career but the years it takes to get there seems long and a lot of work.

2) What should I do to increase my chance of meeting the right person in the romantic part of my life?

Hi, sounds like you do need to see a mental health professional. Making major life decisions while in a funk, or outright clinically depressed is never a good idea. If it turns out that some of your symptoms/outlook are due to clinical depression, you may very well feel much better in 2-4 weeks on appropriate medications. Obviously, no one on this site can diagnose you, but working with students for several decades does make me think it is worth seeking professional opinion from a mental health professional. (MD or APRN or PA can prescribe meds - others may be helpful, but then would have to refer you to someone else if meds were indicated).

If this is not part of the picture, or when feeling better, then time to assess what it is you want to do in a medical career and see if there are other options that do not involve the long medical school process, especially given that you are already 31 and would (presumably) need to do or re-do coursework and MCATs etc. APRN and PA positions can offer quite a bit of patient interaction and autonomy as well as flexibility in many careers. Nurse anesthetists and nurse midwives are often good options and offer a good amount of respect - the people who become excellent clinically in these fields are very well-respected, while making decent money and decent flexibility. There are some bachelor degree to APRN programs at some universities, meaning you can become a nurse practitioner without any prior nursing degree. These programs are selective and the young men and women in these programs are smart, hard-working, and excited about their new careers. Only if you can not imagine being happy doing anything else in medicine than being a physician (and you have been academically very successful in your earlier life) would I recommend MD/DO route for you. And I do think that the fact that nursing school stressed you out back in 2011 is perhaps a note to self that you should not embark on something as stressful as the MD/DO prep, application and career process. But there are so many ways for you to find accomplishment and happiness in the field of medicine and you are still young enough for most of these options!

 

[RNtoMD87]

Most on here will tell you not to pursue nursing. While I’m not in love with the field, there are many pros to it. You will have patients that really touch your life. Plus, premed is much less stressful when you’re making good money.

Full time premed student’s yearly salary n=1


I don’t know how people working minimum wage do it. The financial stress would affect my school work I’m sure.

 

[Gilakend]

Do NOT go pharmacy. The field is obscenely over saturated and overall surrounded by doom and gloom that is very justified.

 

[Medic741]

Most on here will tell you not to pursue nursing. While I’m not in love with the field, there are many pros to it. You will have patients that really touch your life. Plus, premed is much less stressful when you’re making good money.

Full time premed student’s yearly salary n=1
View attachment 249346

I don’t know how people working minimum wage do it. The financial stress would affect my school work I’m sure.

So much yes. I made around half that during UG working nights and it made premed *so* much better having a meaningful income

 

[RNtoMD87]

So much yes. I made around half that during UG working nights and it made premed *so* much better having a meaningful income

That was on nights too, recently switched to days, and I’m anticipating a pay cut until I can switch to float pool but it was definitely worth it. Working nights for 3 years had a serious impact on my health.

 

[907914]

I work in a related field, even just 10 hours a week at $26 an hour is enough to cover bills.

That being said, I would not pursue nursing if you are using that as a means of producing income while going back to school for something else. Nursing will, however, act as an excellent stepping stone for NP. And in 15 years, NPs will be able to add so many letters after their name through online certificates that they might as well be a doctor anyway.