Unique, difficult situation

[rockandahardplace]

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Hi all. I have a rather unique, difficult situation and I hope some of you might calm me down a bit.

I worked for several years for an unnamed corporate dental company. Let's call them Dental Co. During that time, I met a dentist who had some in's with one of the dental schools I applied to this year. This doctor offered to mention my name to someone high up at said school.

I left Dental Co. a while ago to take care of my new baby, and only recently started looking for a new job. The doctor contacted me to ask me to come back and work at Dental Co., and I told him I had unfortunately just accepted a different position doing lab work. He was very angry at this news.

I am at a loss here. This other position pays 2-3 times as much as Dental Co., gives me more hours, better health insurance, etc. I am 32 and have bills that some younger applicants don't have - I cannot afford a job at less than 40 hours making 12 dollars an hour. On top of it, the experience I will gain at this other position I feel is something I cannot pass up.

Would you be worried if you were me that this doctor would go back and tell the school "nevermind, rockandahardplace is not an ideal candidate" or anything else negative? I wish he would have let me explain my side of things. I am sick to my stomach.

 

[super frank]

Call back and apologize, explain your situation, and wish them the best. Not much else you can do.

 

[rockandahardplace]

Call back and apologize, explain your situation, and wish them the best. Not much else you can do.

Thank you Rekker. We've talked before and you are always so friendly (this is not my main account).

I tried to, but he cut me off and got off the phone 🙁. Should I wait a few weeks to let him cool off? I worry that he will not understand my situation and just think I am unmotivated or make poor judgement calls or that I should put my own needs aside because of this favor. If I were 22 or living at home with no family I would absolutely have done so, but I am struggling to make ends meet as it is.

 

[super frank]

Thank you Rekker. We've talked before and you are always so friendly (this is not my main account).

I tried to, but he cut me off and got off the phone 🙁. Should I wait a few weeks to let him cool off? I worry that he will not understand my situation and just think I am unmotivated or make poor judgement calls or that I should put my own needs aside because of this favor. If I were 22 or living at home with no family I would absolutely have done so, but I am struggling to make ends meet as it is.

Thank you! In that case I would probably wait a week or two and then call back. I was about to suggest going back to work part-time in addition to your new job, but like you have mentioned, a new baby is a full time job by itself. If he is abrasive again then you will just have to let it go. Regardless, congratulations on your new job. Being a recent grad I have unfortunately been confronted with reality and now understand the burden that comes with paying off bills consistently.

 

[rockandahardplace]

Thank you! In that case I would probably wait a week or two and then call back. I was about to suggest going back to work part-time in addition to your new job, but like you have mentioned, a new baby is a full time job by itself. If he is abrasive again then you will just have to let it go. Regardless, congratulations on your new job. Being a recent grad I have unfortunately been confronted with reality and now understand the burden that comes with paying off bills consistently.

Thank you for the congrats!

I agree, I think I may need to let it go. Maybe even now so as to not exacerbate the issue. I did actually consider trying to work both, but the hours just would not align and yes, with a new baby it is truly unrealistic! Congratulations on your recent graduation. It is an exciting (and daunting!) time in ones life. Best of luck in dental school - I have no doubts that you will secure an acceptance this cycle.

 

[Tinyfury]

One doctor mentioning your name, specially an alumni does not hurt your chance. Nothing to worry about! If your stats are good and you do well in interviews, schools will accept you no matter what that doctor said to the school.

 

[DMDDDSHopeful]

Hi all. I have a rather unique, difficult situation and I hope some of you might calm me down a bit.

I worked for several years for an unnamed corporate dental company. Let's call them Dental Co. During that time, I met a dentist who had some in's with one of the dental schools I applied to this year. This doctor offered to mention my name to someone high up at said school.

I left Dental Co. a while ago to take care of my new baby, and only recently started looking for a new job. The doctor contacted me to ask me to come back and work at Dental Co., and I told him I had unfortunately just accepted a different position doing lab work. He was very angry at this news.

I am at a loss here. This other position pays 2-3 times as much as Dental Co., gives me more hours, better health insurance, etc. I am 32 and have bills that some younger applicants don't have - I cannot afford a job at less than 40 hours making 12 dollars an hour. On top of it, the experience I will gain at this other position I feel is something I cannot pass up.

Would you be worried if you were me that this doctor would go back and tell the school "nevermind, rockandahardplace is not an ideal candidate" or anything else negative? I wish he would have let me explain my side of things. I am sick to my stomach.

I'm very sorry to hear about the poor attitude this dentist has. I wish admission committees could screen these potential people out. They don't belong in this field. Anyway, seems he is stubborn. Call within a few weeks if you wish, but I wouldn't expect him to change. Sounds like he is angry he can't keep you at minimum wage working for him while you are trying to build a life for yourself and the future of your family. Perhaps he is angry that he feels he would be the sole reason you'd get into dental and then declining to pay him the favor back by working. I wonder if he would have the audacity to rescind his recommendation. Anyway, you can't control what happened so what I would recommend is going home after work and play with your baby--that's the only thing that should matter.

Note: Just before anyone mentions that $12/hr is not minimum wage, it's certainly not a livable wage.

 

[rockandahardplace]

One doctor mentioning your name, specially an alumni does not hurt your chance. Nothing to worry about! If your stats are good and you do well in interviews, schools will accept you no matter what that doctor said to the school.

I hope you are right 🙂 thank you!

 

[rockandahardplace]

I'm very sorry to hear about the poor attitude this dentist has. I wish admission committees could screen these potential people out. They don't belong in this field. Anyway, seems he is stubborn. Call within a few weeks if you wish, but I wouldn't expect him to change. Sounds like he is angry he can't keep you at minimum wage working for him while you are trying to build a life for yourself and the future of your family. Perhaps he is angry that he feels he would be the sole reason you'd get into dental and then declining to pay him the favor back by working. I wonder if he would have the audacity to rescind his recommendation. Anyway, you can't control what happened so what I would recommend is going home after work and play with your baby--that's the only thing that should matter.

Note: Just before anyone mentions that $12/hr is not minimum wage, it's certainly not a livable wage.

Have you ever heard of anyone rescinding a recommendation? You are correct, I cannot control it and I should be enjoying my time with my family and my new exciting job 🙂. Thank you for your kind words and understanding.

 

[lemoncurry]

by any chance, are you in the NY/VT/MA area?

 

[doc toothache]

If all you have to offer is a honorable, soon to change to not so honorable, mention, to "someone high up in said ds" you have a heck of a lot bigger problem than you realize.

 

[rockandahardplace]

by any chance, are you in the NY/VT/MA area?

I am not. Do you know of someone else in that area with a similar experience?

 

[rockandahardplace]

If all you have to offer is a honorable, soon to change to not so honorable, mention, to "someone high up in said ds" you have a heck of a lot bigger problem than you realize.

Fortunately I have already secured a few interviews, so I feel I have more to offer. I am just concerned about this one school as it is my top choice.

 

[setdoc7]

Generally, mentioning your name to a "higher up" at a dental school sounds shady. It sounds like the old boy network, which has long since been disbanded, replaced by internet transparency. Schools rarely take under qualified applicants fearing it will tarnish their mean applicant pool GPA/DAT image or their mean acceptance GPA/DAT report to the ADA. Mentioning a name is just that, idle talk. A letter of recommendation is rarely rescinded without cause. Hang in there, it will work out.

 

[rockandahardplace]

Generally, mentioning your name to a "higher up" at a dental school sounds shady. It sounds like the old boy network, which has long since been disbanded, replaced by internet transparency. Schools rarely take under qualified applicants fearing it will tarnish their mean applicant pool GPA/DAT image or their mean acceptance GPA/DAT report to the ADA. Mentioning a name is just that, idle talk. A letter of recommendation is rarely rescinded without cause. Hang in there, it will work out.

Thank you setdoc7! This made my day. I am just upset because I never asked for a favor from this person - it was offered! I never promised to do anything in return or led him to believe I would. To be fair, I would prefer to gain an acceptance knowing that it is 100% because of my own hard work anyway, and not from some, as you call it, "old boy network". Thanks for being a voice of reason - I am probably being overly paranoid.