Utterly Depressed...I failed at life

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rhodesman

rhodesman

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I have never felt worse before in my life. I am sorry to come on here and rant about it, but honestly I don't know where else to turn and no one in my family would really understand.

I just left lab about an hour ago on the medical campus after completely screwing up my experiment which took a whole weeks time in preperation. As I was leaving, I guess the maintaince people were cleaning the floor and I slipped and hit my head. At this point I felt like crying, and I said to myself that my day could not get any worse. But, it did and it got a whole lot worse. As I was walking out, I saw my old gf walking with (I hate to say it) another guy. They looked like they were coming from class. He had his hand around her shoulder and they were laughing together. As I passed by them I smiled and she looked at me then looked back at him and kept giggling.

My gf had applied to the seven year program at our university, but I didn't. At the time I didn't want to go to med school at the same school I did my undergrad. Instead, I worked my butt and got several national recognitions (one of them was alongside a frequent poster here from Texas). I'm going to be a senior, and I'm not applying this year either because of my stupid aspirations to be a Rhodes Scholar.

Anyways, it just hit me that I am a failure. My old gf is now out of my league, and looks down on me. All my friends that applied to the 7 year program are probably greatly enjoying themselves and I bet you anything they think they are above me. Its a very difficult thing to grasp for someone that used to have such high self esteem. I wish I had applied to the 7 year program last summer, and I really wish I would have taken the MCAT and at least tried this summer instead of ruining my life. This next year is going to be a year of agony....and if I fail to get the scholarships to study abroad the following year I fear that I may go into a very deep depression. I have put myself in a horrible situation.

I am sure there will be worse days ahead, but as of right now I just want to pass out my head hurts so bad. I am sorry for the rant.
 
rhodesman said:
I have never felt worse before in my life. I am sorry to come on here and rant about it, but honestly I don't know where else to turn and no one in my family would really understand.

I just left lab about an hour ago on the medical campus after completely screwing up my experiment which took a whole weeks time in preperation. As I was leaving, I guess the maintaince people were cleaning the floor and I slipped and hit my head. At this point I felt like crying, and I said to myself that my day could not get any worse. But, it did and it got a whole lot worse. As I was walking out, I saw my old gf walking with (I hate to say it) another guy. They looked like they were coming from class. He had his hand around her shoulder and they were laughing together. As I passed by them I smiled and she looked at me then looked back at him and kept giggling.

My gf had applied to the seven year program at our university, but I didn't. At the time I didn't want to go to med school at the same school I did my undergrad. Instead, I worked my butt and got several national recognitions (one of them was alongside a frequent poster here from Texas). I'm going to be a senior, and I'm not applying this year either because of my stupid aspirations to be a Rhodes Scholar.

Anyways, it just hit me that I am a failure. My old gf is now out of my league, and looks down on me. All my friends that applied to the 7 year program are probably greatly enjoying themselves and I bet you anything they think they are above me. Its a very difficult thing to grasp for someone that used to have such high self esteem. I wish I had applied to the 7 year program last summer, and I really wish I would have taken the MCAT and at least tried this summer instead of ruining my life. This next year is going to be a year of agony....and if I fail to get the scholarships to study abroad the following year I fear that I may go into a very deep depression. I have put myself in a horrible situation.

I am sure there will be worse days ahead, but as of right now I just want to pass out my head hurts so bad. I am sorry for the rant.
Click to expand...

Chin up, it'll get better
 
dude, your life hasn't even started. One extra year before applying? that's pretty common. And you have an ex-gf, so what? Welcome to normalcy. Population everyone.
 
tl;dr
i couldn't find the part where you seen innocent puppies being drowned in a river...
 
So, you messed up an experiment, hit your head, and ran into your ex girlfriend and suddenly your life is over? Bad week, maybe. The only thing keeping you so depressed is the perception that everyone is looking down at you. Stop worrying what everyone else thinks about you.
 
If you're doing biology experiments in some sort of institution, you have "failed at life" far less than a great deal of people.

Everything's an obstacle, not an impasse. You can get through it. You'll also be better for not pigeon-holing (is that a word?) yourself into a career you weren't sure about.
 
I might be reading your post wrong. But since you want to be a Rhodes scholar and your girlfriend is applying to 7 year programs. I think your a senior in high school. Which means your life hasn't even started.
 
Don't give up. When you feel like giving up, try to remember why you held on for so long.
 
My life is awesome right now, man. I'm living it up!

I mean, sure. My mother had a heart attack, I got stalked, I lost my job, and I just found out that I didn't get a job I applied for because the HR guy lost my paperwork. Not to mention that I'm hopelessly single, can't get funding to save my life, and just bombed a midterm. Oh, and that I'm just an undergrad and I'm already in debt. But even with all that going on, I'm doing okay.

You've got problems? There are people with worse problems. MAN UP.
 
First of all: DO get your head checked out if you hit it hard and it's still hurting.

Second: The bromide about it being not how many times you fall, but how many times you get back up IS true.

You need to accept your situation for what it is and plan out small steps that work to improve it. This acknowledgement and a clear plan of action for the near-future are the best things you can do to pull yourself out of this mess.

And for your own sake, please don't whine about the past -- that won't get you anywhere and will only make you bitter. Know what you want and how to get it... and things will improve. Good luck 🙂
 
So what if you don't get your scholarships? There are always other backups to getting into med school.

So what if your ex is dating another guy? Work out and get some confidence. I doubt that he's truly better than you. Does he really have the same national recognition things that you do?

So what if you think your ex is "out of your league"? Fact is that she probably isn't.

So what if you have to take an extra year to go to med school? You could use that time to make your application stronger.

So what if your experiment got screwed up? You could always start it again and learn from the mistakes you made the first time. Maybe you might get better results than you would have last time.

Life goes on. And it's a b***h. You've just gotta take it one piece at a time. You've got to focus on school right now and not let your GPA slip. Forget her, forget him. You know you're worth it because of your incredible hard work and your incredible aspirations.
 
JFK90787 said:
Pics of the old gf? 😎
Click to expand...

This made me laugh while I am trying to ice my head, not a good combination. I'll try to PM you a picture bc this a public forum and I don't know who may be viewing it.

I will try to move on and disgregard what other people think. THANK you all for your support, I really need it right now.

Oh, to clear it up...I am a college senior. You apply for the Rhodes likely during your senior year of college. My friends in the 7 year program just started last week (forewent their senior year).
 
Last edited:
Stop being so wimpy...
So what -- your med school plans are delayed, you slipped on a wet floor and you saw your ex.

Step back and observe that none of these are a big deal AT ALL in the grand scheme of things.
 
Meh. It's Friday the 13th. Don't sweat it. Tomorrow is a better day.
 
Don't worry everything's not lost. Hang in there it will get better. i hope the headache subsides soon. Take care 🙂
 
You had a bad day. Everyone has those once in a while, some more than others, yes, but every one does once in a while. It sounds like you have a great GPA and will do great on the MCAT. You will find a new gf when the time comes. Chin up. Tomorow is a new day, and you haven't completely screwed up yourself. If you go out tonight and get a DUI, then yes you can say you screwed up majorly, but your rough day is nothing comparable to screweing up majorly.
 
Man, this is soooo high school teenage angst. :laugh:
And lol @ your gf laughing in your face as she walked passed you with her new bf having his arm around her shoulder.
Are you sure you weren't watching an 80s movie about high school.
 
Life goes on. There are terrible days but you just have to get up and do it again. Think about how fortunate you are that you have the opportunity to even apply to 7 year med school programs. People are so much worse off in other countries.
 
don't you have any friends to talk to about this?
 
That's not so bad. Somewhere, someplace the CIA is torturing someone for simply being brown in the wrong part of the world . . . you can tell him about your day. Stay ****ing centered here ok? Eye on the prize here. You've got goals. Long term goals. A Rhodes Scholarship will mean a lot - punch your own meal ticket kind of stuff. You need to assign yourself a time period for feeling sorry for yourself, lets say from now until tomorrow morning and then take the next indicated step. This **** builds character, so don't worry about it.

And finally don't let that hooker get to you, you need to embrace the following - really ****ing wrap your mind around it - because it's posted here to help you . . .

191055439v6_225x225_Front.jpg


Bounce to that.

Peace.
 
ILikeDrugs said:
Man, this is soooo high school teenage angst. :laugh:
And lol @ your gf laughing in your face as she walked passed you with her new bf having his arm around her shoulder.
Are you sure you weren't watching an 80s movie about high school.
Click to expand...

Seriously, I was thinking Sixteen Candles or Pretty in Pink :laugh:
 
rhodesman said:
I have never felt worse before in my life. I am sorry to come on here and rant about it, but honestly I don't know where else to turn and no one in my family would really understand.

I just left lab about an hour ago on the medical campus after completely screwing up my experiment which took a whole weeks time in preperation. As I was leaving, I guess the maintaince people were cleaning the floor and I slipped and hit my head. At this point I felt like crying, and I said to myself that my day could not get any worse. But, it did and it got a whole lot worse. As I was walking out, I saw my old gf walking with (I hate to say it) another guy. They looked like they were coming from class. He had his hand around her shoulder and they were laughing together. As I passed by them I smiled and she looked at me then looked back at him and kept giggling.

My gf had applied to the seven year program at our university, but I didn't. At the time I didn't want to go to med school at the same school I did my undergrad. Instead, I worked my butt and got several national recognitions (one of them was alongside a frequent poster here from Texas). I'm going to be a senior, and I'm not applying this year either because of my stupid aspirations to be a Rhodes Scholar.

Anyways, it just hit me that I am a failure. My old gf is now out of my league, and looks down on me. All my friends that applied to the 7 year program are probably greatly enjoying themselves and I bet you anything they think they are above me. Its a very difficult thing to grasp for someone that used to have such high self esteem. I wish I had applied to the 7 year program last summer, and I really wish I would have taken the MCAT and at least tried this summer instead of ruining my life. This next year is going to be a year of agony....and if I fail to get the scholarships to study abroad the following year I fear that I may go into a very deep depression. I have put myself in a horrible situation.

I am sure there will be worse days ahead, but as of right now I just want to pass out my head hurts so bad. I am sorry for the rant.
Click to expand...

no one fails at life u silly, since we couldn't succeed in the first place. for the simple reasons no one gets out of it alive 🙂.

didt mean to sound like an emo, but thats just the cold truth.
 
Smile OP, you were the fastest sperm.
 
Frazier said:
Stop being so wimpy...
So what -- your med school plans are delayed, you slipped on a wet floor and you saw your ex.

Step back and observe that none of these are a big deal AT ALL in the grand scheme of things.
Click to expand...

Wise words 🙂
 
I guess I am concerned that you feel like you're a failure after that small of a problem... what happens when you take biochem, or the mcat, or don't get into the top med school pick?? You need to seek therapy to get some coping skills... you are lacking them... please realize that if you aren't homeless, no one is abusing you, and you're going to school, you're doing pretty fcking good, so you shouldn't be complaining on a forum... if you don't have friends, you should work on that as well...
 
Stopped reading after the first few sentences.
Anyone that joins today + posts ridiculous bs = guaranteed troll.
 
You're a perfectionist and that's why you feel bad. So you had a bad day....big deal....and waiting one extra year could be a good thing. Trust me, it's better to have a year of relaxing and getting it out of your system so that you're ready to work hard the rest of your life once med school starts. From the looks of it, you have a great future ahead of you.
 
smile OP others have it worse (like me) just get through it one day at a time, and tries not to focus on the negatives. I don't think you're lying, but U do need to man up! i'll get better.

sending these your way🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 its gonna get better!
 
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fzvFAcbS0RE[/YOUTUBE]
 
Whenever you see that fool with your ex just remember that you hit that first.
It'll make you feel better everytime😉
 
I was just surprised by how you compared yourself to "everyone else that took the 7 year med program"...why would you think that they are "better than you"? They're not better than you. You chose a different path, and even though you do not feel you are successful in that path right now, it's a fact of life that people don't succeed at every simple little task. We're all human, we all make mistakes (which I would not consider your situation to be...).

Also, girlfriends and boyfriends all move on, as should you. If you were to be in another relationship, and your ex saw you, you'd be in the same position as your ex right now, so don't fret about it. No one thinks any less of you because you're single or not heading into med school at the moment.

Chalk this up as a bad day and move on. Life will pick up from this point forward. Trust all of us when we say that. It's Friday the 13th.
 
i bet your ex knew you were gonna pass by and purposefully started laughing, holding onto to her bf tight just so you would see and have this perception that she's so happy, better than you, etc.
 
:laugh:......


But for real dude, chalk her up to the game and move on.
 
i am sorry for you have encountered
i had relationship problems before and definitely frequent emperiment failures also
but in your situation..your life cant get much worse than what has already happened today..so the worst has passed! keep your hopes up~
 
Everyone has had that type of day(s) -- I definitely did.

But here is my favorite quotes by Helen Keller, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.

Who knows, maybe just maybe your next girlfriend will be better than the ex? Or you work really hard and get that Rhodes scholarship and then come back and rub it in their faces :meanie: -- seriously stop dwelling on the past and move on, bigger and better things are waiting for you only if you want to work, sacrifice, and most importantly be patient.


​
 
I'm always continually surprised at how trite and self-centered pre-meds (and by extension - med students) are. There are college students who are struggling to pay rent, buy groceries, etc. There are college students suffering from debilitating illnesses. There are college students who are going through divorces. There are college students whose parents have died. And yet you feel sorry for yourself because your stupid lab experiment didn't work out, your ex-girlfriend found a better boyfriend, and you're in the process of applying for med school. Arggggh, teen angst!!!

I'd like to meet your parents.
 
MsKrispyKreme said:
I'm always continually surprised at how trite and self-centered pre-meds (and by extension - med students) are. There are college students who are struggling to pay rent, buy groceries, etc. There are college students suffering from debilitating illnesses. There are college students who are going through divorces. There are college students whose parents have died. And yet you feel sorry for yourself because your stupid lab experiment didn't work out, your ex-girlfriend found a better boyfriend, and you're in the process of applying for med school. Arggggh, teen angst!!!

I'd like to meet your parents.
Click to expand...

Aren't you that guy who ripped on a father who was starting medical school and was stressed that school would be starting when his second child was due in this thread?

Please. There are people who move clear across the country where they don't know a soul with no money in their pocket and survive on Ramen noodles until they finally get their financial aid money. There are also single moms who do the entire process alone.

You already have one child, and you aren't even the one who is pregnant. Being a parent is not some new, scary experience for you. Quit being so melodramatic, and just be thankful that you got accepted into medical school and have a family.
Click to expand...

I don't understand why you continually rip on others who are hurting. You sound like a miserable pissant who doesn't have anything better to do with his time than disparage others and their reasons for being down. Seriously, get over yourself.
 
CityLights said:
I don't understand why you continually rip on others who are hurting. You sound like a miserable pissant who doesn't have anything better to do with his time than disparage others and their reasons for being down. Seriously, get over yourself.
Click to expand...
or....he's completely right and you're just an oversensitive little bitch.
 
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