MJB said:
I'm having very little/no trouble convincing myself this is what to do...but how does one go about reassuring their spouse/significant other that the correct decision is being made?
I'm struggling with this...as my wife is a born worrier...that can worry about worrying, and actually can sit around and THINK about things to worry about...
Sadly, my husband actually bought me a book called "The Worrywart's Companion." I worry that I have forgotten to worry about something sometimes...
In our case, I am (was) the worrier, and needed his kick in the pants to move out of what Jaylily has aptly called purgatory...
I don't know your spouse, and I want to be careful about being presumptious, but I did want to answer based on my experience as a worrier and as a spouse seeking support for this dream...
As a worrier, I have found it is helpful when I can move from considering things just in black and white (you will get into to med school or you will not and you will have no money and all will go to heck....) to understanding that there are hundreds of spots along the way where the road might turn in a different direction - hundreds of possible outcomes that aren't so extreme. Equally, it has been helpful to me to really imagine what would happen in the case of my worst case scenario.
So, my first point is that the decisions you two are trying to make now are not "med school or not" but instead are "chem class this fall to see where you are at or not," etc. Otherwise, as a worrier, I am acting as if I can see the future, and really I can't.
I would also note that the more facts and figures I have, the more I feel like my spouse has actually listened to my worries. So go through all the potential outcomes, financial issues, etc.
The second point is really, what would happen if you went through all of this, took the MCAT, applied, and did not get into to medical school? I hope YOU would reapply, but my point is that, for example, during your application year you would probably be working again, so if you didn't get it in, you would just keep working. Perhaps you would apply to DO schools, or etc. Financially, all sorts of things (positive and negative) can happen along the way, for example, perhaps your state has a program where if you register for a second bachelor's you can take out student loans, etc. So, what would happen if the worst happened?
As far as seeking the support of my spouse, as I noted it was more the other way round in this house, but I have to tell you how much happier we have been since I have been pursuing this dream. (and I actually worry so much less...) Medicine is my calling, and as long as I felt I wasn't smart enough to respond to the call, even though I had other sorts of success, I was just not very happy - without even really realizing it!
Granted, I am going to a great med school, and thus some of this may ring false to your ears, but I firmly believe it is better to pursue this dream and fail than to never have tried.
Don't know if any of this painful honesty relates to your situation, but here it is, anyway! So now that I have confessed the worry thing, I'm worried I should have come up with a new user name to conceal my id for this post!
I hope it all works out for you!!
I guess what it boils down to is that I have a hard time just having faith (for lack of a better word of what to call it) that things will turn out all right, even though they frequently turn out not just "all right" but actually well. Anyway I have to tell you guys that I am really glad that you're all here. It can get lonely being a non-trad pre-med sometimes, and somehow it does help to know that you're not the only one.
