Very bummed out about step 1 performance. Someone please talk some sense into me

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Pinkleton

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I don't wanna come across as ungrateful about my 242, but it is frustrating that after 5 weeks of dedicated studying, my score only increased by 2 points from NBME practice exam. Honestly, I was sure I broke a 250. My test seemed easy for the most part. Maybe the curve was tough or I just made some terrible guesses, I'll never know but I am in awe

All these experience reports show people jumping like 40 points from their baseline. I've literally heard of no one not improving their score. I feel like I learned so much in those 5 weeks but have nothing to show for it.

I had my heart set on getting accepted to Denver's IM residency where my family is, but it seems like it'll be an uphill battle. A friend told me that I should be proud of having a good baseline but that's irrelevant to me. Is my sadness not appropriate given the circumstances?
 
Did you read my post?

Yup. And you're clumping a spoiled kid with someone who worked his butt off and possibly correlates self-worth with achievement. You're so off.

But that's okay...your oversimplification is probably how the masses see such things. Thanks for sharing.
 
I don't wanna come across as ungrateful about my 242, but it is frustrating that after 5 weeks of dedicated studying, my score only increased by 2 points from NBME practice exam. Honestly, I was sure I broke a 250. My test seemed easy for the most part. Maybe the curve was tough or I just made some terrible guesses, I'll never know but I am in awe

All these experience reports show people jumping like 40 points from their baseline. I've literally heard of no one not improving their score. I feel like I learned so much in those 5 weeks but have nothing to show for it.

I had my heart set on getting accepted to Denver's IM residency where my family is, but it seems like it'll be an uphill battle. A friend told me that I should be proud of having a good baseline but that's irrelevant to me. Is my sadness not appropriate given the circumstances?

Obviously not your idea of an ideal situation but let this be motivation for you to really excel during your clinical rotations and 4th year electives. I can't even begin to tell you how sad it is that many of the students who have scored well on the step 1 think they can just now coast through 3rd and 4th year without taking it seriously. You've got plenty of other opportunities to demonstrate hard work and dedication. Don't let one "disappointment" get in the way of working even harder in your clinical years
 
I don't wanna come across as ungrateful about my 242, but it is frustrating that after 5 weeks of dedicated studying, my score only increased by 2 points from NBME practice exam. Honestly, I was sure I broke a 250. My test seemed easy for the most part. Maybe the curve was tough or I just made some terrible guesses, I'll never know but I am in awe

All these experience reports show people jumping like 40 points from their baseline. I've literally heard of no one not improving their score. I feel like I learned so much in those 5 weeks but have nothing to show for it.

I had my heart set on getting accepted to Denver's IM residency where my family is, but it seems like it'll be an uphill battle. A friend told me that I should be proud of having a good baseline but that's irrelevant to me. Is my sadness not appropriate given the circumstances?

I got a 260. If I got a 242 I would be in worse shape than you. At the end of the day though, you have to look at the realities of this situation. 1) You're not quitting on medicine, right? 2) You cannot change this score.

Just keep reminding yourself of that, and realize you need to put it behind you in the past, and focus on making your next couple years as good as possible in terms of your application. You will most likely be happy in the end if you work hard on. Keep trucking dude.
 
I don't wanna come across as ungrateful about my 242, but it is frustrating that after 5 weeks of dedicated studying, my score only increased by 2 points from NBME practice exam. Honestly, I was sure I broke a 250. My test seemed easy for the most part. Maybe the curve was tough or I just made some terrible guesses, I'll never know but I am in awe

All these experience reports show people jumping like 40 points from their baseline. I've literally heard of no one not improving their score. I feel like I learned so much in those 5 weeks but have nothing to show for it.

I had my heart set on getting accepted to Denver's IM residency where my family is, but it seems like it'll be an uphill battle. A friend told me that I should be proud of having a good baseline but that's irrelevant to me. Is my sadness not appropriate given the circumstances?

Dude calm the hell down. You're embarrassing yourself.
 
IMO people who are bitching about your post are embarrassing themselves a lot more than you are.

I am fairly sure that if they were in your situation - scoring in the 240s 5 weeks before their exam and seeing no improvement - they will feel similarly.

Also, when people set very high goals for themselves, they are bound to be disappointed. And while 242 is a very good score, it will not make the residency directors of the most competitive programs at the most competitive specialties blink twice. What's wrong in aiming for those places? There's nothing wrong or embarrassing for aiming high, but you should be ready for disappointment.
 
IMO people who are bitching about your post are embarrassing themselves a lot more than you are.

I am fairly sure that if they were in your situation - scoring in the 240s 5 weeks before their exam and seeing no improvement - they will feel similarly.

Also, when people set very high goals for themselves, they are bound to be disappointed. And while 242 is a very good score, it will not make the residency directors of the most competitive programs at the most competitive specialties blink twice. What's wrong in aiming for those places? There's nothing wrong or embarrassing for aiming high, but you should be ready for disappointment.

There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed. People are complaining with the toddler-ness of the pity party being attempted. These are feelings best expressed to one's mommy, not in a public forum where the majority did worse than the OP while probably working harder to get it.
 
For the record, a pity party was nowhere near my intention. All I did was simply state how I was feeling and ask for things to be put into perspective. Logically I know I should be happy with my score, but I just don't "feel" it. Hence the OP. And I knew that a 242 would not shut doors at an IM program. But have a 255 certainly would put me at a slight advantage and I wanted every advantage I could have. Would you rather have a 42 or a 38 MCAT?

At this point it's just a matter of getting rid of "what if" thoughts. What if I had taken the day before off? What if I had gotten more than 3 hours of sleep? Felt as sharp as ever but maybe I was in denial. What if I had gotten a hard exam with a tougher curve? What if I wasn't an idiot and change 3 right answers to wrong ones...I never do that, don't know why I decided to start then.

You guys have to understand that these are not thoughts I can share with friends or classmates. One of my good buddies got a 260 and overall we feel like I am more knowledgable but he's always been a great test taker. Seriously, I would have to explain things to him. I'm glad that at least a few people understand where I am coming from. I undershot what I and others thought was a reasonable goal by 18 points.

If you don't like my posts, then the solution is to leave the thread. You can tell me I am right, wrong, but don't tell me what I can or can't post. That's the whole point of this forum
 
There's nothing wrong with feeling disappointed. People are complaining with the toddler-ness of the pity party being attempted. These are feelings best expressed to one's mommy, not in a public forum where the majority did worse than the OP while probably working harder to get it.

Why should empathy go one way? It's really those who are coming to moan and insult that are showing minimal understanding more so than the OP.

Also wth dictated what kind of thoughts can be expressed on the forum?

The whole Step 1 studying and waiting period is very stressful and the reactions post-score report are naturally dramatic and exaggerated either way. Feelings of disappointment are only relative to what you are aiming for. 242 is a very good score, but not exactly stellar; so what's wrong in someone expressing frustration after passing in so much stress during the whole period?

--

For the OP, I scored 245 and I was a bit disappointed (even though I'm matching in psych). Time will make things better. I made similar mistakes: didn't organize my study period well with unrealistic goals and I studied for like 15 hours the day before the exam.

As phloston said, there are many things you earn from the exam other than the 3 digit score. You need to figure out what went wrong in the 5 week study period, and adjust it in the future. I came to medicine with pretty terrible discipline, and it took my intensive efforts for Step 1 to correct this flaw and I learned a lot from the whole process. Now I can use my new found discipline for many things I wish to attain, most of them not even related to medicine. With time, you will find that your score will not be a hindrance to the goal you wish to pursue, and you will find the things you need to improve for the future.
 
Why should empathy go one way? It's really those who are coming to moan and insult that are showing minimal understanding more so than the OP.

Also wth dictated what kind of thoughts can be expressed on the forum?

The whole Step 1 studying and waiting period is very stressful and the reactions post-score report are naturally dramatic and exaggerated either way. Feelings of disappointment are only relative to what you are aiming for. 242 is a very good score, but not exactly stellar; so what's wrong in someone expressing frustration after passing in so much stress during the whole period?

--

For the OP, I scored 245 and I was a bit disappointed (even though I'm matching in psych). Time will make things better. I made similar mistakes: didn't organize my study period well with unrealistic goals and I studied for like 15 hours the day before the exam.

As phloston said, there are many things you earn from the exam other than the 3 digit score. You need to figure out what went wrong in the 5 week study period, and adjust it in the future. I came to medicine with pretty terrible discipline, and it took my intensive efforts for Step 1 to correct this flaw and I learned a lot from the whole process. Now I can use my new found discipline for many things I wish to attain, most of them not even related to medicine. With time, you will find that your score will not be a hindrance to the goal you wish to pursue, and you will find the things you need to improve for the future.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. The more and more I think about it, I think it comes down to never being able to find a consistent level of thinking when answering questions. I liked UW and did very well on those questions because pretty much all questions required deep thinking. I liked thinking conceptually. Then I transitioned into NBME where there were mostly easy questions and a few difficult ones but a tough curve. I hated answering memory recall questions. So then I tried simplifying my thought processes. And on the real deal it was somewhere in between the two but closer to NBMEs, and I think I tried thinking like UW for too many questions (including those 3 that I changed from right to wrong). I think if I had just skipped UW and used FA, pathoma, and NBMEs, things could have been very different. Oh well. Like you guys have said, it's just a number. Hopefully I can honor a lot of rotations and rock step 2 👍
 
Thanks for the words of encouragement. The more and more I think about it, I think it comes down to never being able to find a consistent level of thinking when answering questions. I liked UW and did very well on those questions because pretty much all questions required deep thinking. I liked thinking conceptually. Then I transitioned into NBME where there were mostly easy questions and a few difficult ones but a tough curve. I hated answering memory recall questions. So then I tried simplifying my thought processes. And on the real deal it was somewhere in between the two but closer to NBMEs, and I think I tried thinking like UW for too many questions (including those 3 that I changed from right to wrong). I think if I had just skipped UW and used FA, pathoma, and NBMEs, things could have been very different. Oh well. Like you guys have said, it's just a number. Hopefully I can honor a lot of rotations and rock step 2 👍

yes. onto Step 2!

And when you feel any twinge of regret, just remember what all the whiners came here to say: that your bottom is the majority's ceiling! hehe.
 
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