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want to laugh?

Discussion in 'General International Discussion' started by bhuvi, Nov 17, 2005.

  1. bhuvi

    bhuvi Junior Member
    5+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2005
    Messages:
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    Answering machine at the Mental Hospital...

    "Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline ...

    If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

    If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

    If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

    If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

    If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mother ship.

    If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

    If you are a manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer.

    If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

    If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound key until a representative comes on the line.

    If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, telephone number, date of birth, Social Security number and your mother's maiden name.

    If you have post-traumatic stress disorder, s-l-o-w-l-y and c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y press 0 0 0.

    If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep, or before the beep, or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

    If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. All operators are too busy to talk to you.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
     
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  3. KaliforniaDoll

    KaliforniaDoll Reformed
    7+ Year Member

    Joined:
    Nov 8, 2002
    Messages:
    1,294
    Likes Received:
    2
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
     

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