weighing my options - please help

[slowlybutshelly]

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So the last year was probably the worst of my life. Three family members hospitalized; two almost died. My school told me to take the test by Sept 29th, 2010 and I did not; could not. They refused to sponsor me to take the test at a later date. I did take it by my eligibility deadline, Nov 29th. I did not pass. I studied on my own with podcasts. For step1 I took Kaplan; and the Pass Program. I have until May 11, 2011 to pass this test and get my license; or else I will never be able to practice. So, I am under the gun; have run out of student loan money and need advice.

My life is a royal mess.

My plan right now is to apply to programs in my home state LSU and Tulane and see if they will sponsor me to take this test. But I have essentially exhausted all 4 attempts in this state (rules enacted by the board). I might have to go to another state to get permission to take it there and then apply for a residency back here.

I feel a little resentful at this stage in my career; feeling like the medical system wants everyone to be perfect. like some kind of utopian world where people are not supposed to get divorced, have HIV, etc. I crashed and burned because the stress of living in said 'non utopian world' (AIDS clinics) made me severely burnt out.

I tried to rally and pass on my own, but failed. Now what?

Does being married ever help in situations like this? I feel alone, with no parents in the medical world, and single, and just like I want to crawl in a hole an die.

 

[peppy]

Sorry to hear that you didn't pass, but I think it's a good thing that you did look so now you can decide what to do about it.
Did you get any ideas about what you need to work on from the score breakdown?
Since you seem interested in working with the less fortunate and were in the Peace Corps maybe you can find a position that will help you be eligible for the public service loan forgiveness option so your debt won't be hanging over your head even if you're not able to get into a residency.
Hang in there. I hope things get easier for you soon.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Well, I just emailed the deans of two schools in my home state. And one emailed me right back and said "we will look into it"; re: wether they will sponsor me to take it again.

Yes, I belong working in the urban underserved population; that's for sure. But I am tired; tired of this process. I thought I had gotten a second wind and now I feel like it is just such a long arduous journey.

 

[slowlybutshelly]

Peppy, I was strong in OBGYN, preventive medicine, immunology, and peds. I was weak in Diagnosis, priciples of care, CV,resp, renal,male reproductive, and psych surgery and medicine. Everything else was average. Funny, I thought I was weak in OBGYN. I thought my diagnosis skills on the exam were good.

I thought my management was weak.

Basically everything I thought was wrong.

Diagnosis should be easy to review and right? shouldn't it?

Sometimes I am happy on this journey and sometimes I am not.

freaking out and just want to be a farmer's wife now...