I'm a first year med student who's rethinking this whole med school thing. I'll be honest, when I first started considering my career options my first priority was money so naturally I looked into career options that'd help finance a cushy lifestyle. However how I acquired that money was also one of my concerns, I didn't want to pursue a career that'd require me to go against my morals; and maybe this is just the cynic in me speaking but I feel like you can't really thrive in law or business without selling a piece of your soul. Also I'm not cut out for law and I don't have the right personality for business. Combining all this with a love for science, (bio & chem) medicine just seemed like a good fit. Also, the whole guaranteed employment deal (due to a huge doctor shortage in my country) was a huge bonus, especially since youth unemployment is huge in my home country. My approach to this whole thing was childish, there are a lot of things I didn't consider that I really should've. But I've had doubts about it since day 1, but my parents (who had been against med school in the beginning) told me to at least give it a chance before giving up on something I've wanted for so long. I've been harbouring this whole doctor fantasy since I was 14, I even chose my subjects around it back in highschool. I still get envious when I see the upper class men in their scrubs going for rounds. I figured I'd know by day 1 whether this was the right decision but it's just gotten harder. The classes interest me, I'm enjoying really enjoying biochem & anatomy and histology and physiology aren't that bad either. But I'm not so fond of clinicals, and honestly with the way they've been teaching us clinical skills I'm starting to think medicine is nothing more than a glammed up service industry job. Now looking at all the time and effort I'll have to put into pursuing it, and all the s*** I'm going to have to deal with once I get my degree it seems like a really bad idea. I've talked to doctors who went into medicine to help people who hate their jobs which means someone with no real passion for helping people like me may well end up miserable the rest of their lives or jumping off of a roof. Problem is even though I don't want medicine anymore I'm finding it hard to leave. I think I spent so much time fantasizing about my future as a doctor and worked so hard getting into med school I almost feel like I can't give up on it. I haven't really figured out what to pursue next, I have some options but nothing concrete. If I woke up tomorrow knowing what I wanted to do for the rest of my life I'd drop medicine in a heartbeat, but that isn't the case. How do I decide what to do next? P.s. sorry for the long post, I just needed to vent.