- Joined
- Sep 7, 2008
- Messages
- 92
- Reaction score
- 4
i'll play:
- when it is 2 lane highway and the people in front of you in both the left and right lanes are going the same speed (0.02 mph) and you can't pass.
- when the patient/patient's family says "are you old enough to be a doctor." no, i'm really just in high school and i just snuck in here to provide your anesthesia. what, that's not okay?
- going along with the above statement, when the patient/patient's family says "how long have you been doing this" or the related "how many of these have you done." i've been doing this for long enough and i've done enough. now relax while i put in my first epidural ever.
- when you get in the room and the surgeon is like "why weren't you in the room earlier?" oh you know, i just grabbed a coffee and gourmet meal, waltzed around preop for a while to stretch my muscles, checked my facebook for an hour before heading back, you know, the usual. it had nothing to do with the fact the patient arrived here 10 minutes ago and was a difficult IV stick and ive been busting my ass to even make it back this fast. sorry mr surgeon, it will never happen again.
- people in the supermarket who use the self checkout lane but have 100 items. 15 or less, genius.
- going to the mcds drive thru, ordering your salad, then driving away and realizing they gave you no fork.
- people who talk in movie theaters. i could do without your running commentary, friend.
- not being able to pass an OG and it curling up in the pharynx 50 times. it doesnt help when the surgeon is prodding "is the OG in yet." trust me, i'll letcha know, buddy.
- when i'm talking to patient's and their families and someone is like "ok listen the nurse is here." last time i checked women can be doctors. a good clue would be the fact i just told you i was "DOCTOR so and so"
- when patient's lie about their EtOH consumption. "oh i just have a glass of wine per night." that's odd, your wife just told me you clean your ostomy site with vodka.
- when patient's don't know their meds or PMHx. "well i take one for 'the sugar' and one for the 'high blood.'"
- when you go shopping at the mall and 15 people in the store each ask you 20 times if you need help. no m'am, i don't. if you don't believe me you can ask your 14 colleagues who have already asked me the exact same thing.
- in the ICU when you have a pt on K replacement protocol and you get a call at 4am "morning labs are back. K is 3.4. do you want me to replace per the protocol." yes, i do. thus, the protocol.
- when it is 2 lane highway and the people in front of you in both the left and right lanes are going the same speed (0.02 mph) and you can't pass.
- when the patient/patient's family says "are you old enough to be a doctor." no, i'm really just in high school and i just snuck in here to provide your anesthesia. what, that's not okay?
- going along with the above statement, when the patient/patient's family says "how long have you been doing this" or the related "how many of these have you done." i've been doing this for long enough and i've done enough. now relax while i put in my first epidural ever.
- when you get in the room and the surgeon is like "why weren't you in the room earlier?" oh you know, i just grabbed a coffee and gourmet meal, waltzed around preop for a while to stretch my muscles, checked my facebook for an hour before heading back, you know, the usual. it had nothing to do with the fact the patient arrived here 10 minutes ago and was a difficult IV stick and ive been busting my ass to even make it back this fast. sorry mr surgeon, it will never happen again.
- people in the supermarket who use the self checkout lane but have 100 items. 15 or less, genius.
- going to the mcds drive thru, ordering your salad, then driving away and realizing they gave you no fork.
- people who talk in movie theaters. i could do without your running commentary, friend.
- not being able to pass an OG and it curling up in the pharynx 50 times. it doesnt help when the surgeon is prodding "is the OG in yet." trust me, i'll letcha know, buddy.
- when i'm talking to patient's and their families and someone is like "ok listen the nurse is here." last time i checked women can be doctors. a good clue would be the fact i just told you i was "DOCTOR so and so"
- when patient's lie about their EtOH consumption. "oh i just have a glass of wine per night." that's odd, your wife just told me you clean your ostomy site with vodka.
- when patient's don't know their meds or PMHx. "well i take one for 'the sugar' and one for the 'high blood.'"
- when you go shopping at the mall and 15 people in the store each ask you 20 times if you need help. no m'am, i don't. if you don't believe me you can ask your 14 colleagues who have already asked me the exact same thing.
- in the ICU when you have a pt on K replacement protocol and you get a call at 4am "morning labs are back. K is 3.4. do you want me to replace per the protocol." yes, i do. thus, the protocol.
