<sigh> I'd say this is what happens when unmotivated grad students teach freshman english comp, but frankly people should be able to write better than this upon graduation from high school. I'm not bashing the OP specifically here, but the entire current generation of terrible writers coming up. My first instinct upon reading most 18-25 year old's prose is to ask if english is their second language. Then, I stop, and remind myself that the majority of people for whom english IS their second language have a far better grasp of the concept. OP, I'm sorry, but you fall into the category of the 'Is english your second language??" writers. This is not your fault, but reflects the failure of many, many english teachers over the years. On to the PS:
Time has to be money and money has to be time.
It does? Says who? And more importantly, what's your point? Why should I care that you thing this?
In order for humanity to develop and progress, we have to work hard, and we have to be compensated for the work we put into developing humanity.
First off, there's ZERO link between the first sentence and this one. Secondly, perhaps it's true that hard work is required to advance society, but again, who says we HAVE to be compensated for this work? There are enough people in the world who work for no compensation to prove this absolute statement false. But again, who cares? What does this have to do with your motivation to go to medical school? Are you claiming that you personally are going to be an instrument of change and advancement to society?
Production and progress is innate, and it needs to be evoked efficiently.
The link here to sentence two is tenuous at best, but I can make the connection. However, in your attempt to sound smart, you've completely ignored the definition of two words. "Innate" means that something is inherent to something else. To evoke meant to call up, or to elicit. ie. The candy has an innate sweetness, evoking memories of my my childhood eating fresh strawberries from the vine. Or some crap like that. So I have to ask, production and progress is innate TO WHAT? And how do you 'evoke' production and progress? You can stimulate, or promote, but you can't really evoke this. I still don't know what this has to do with your desire to pursue medicine.
To be content with not producing shows a lack of knowledge and gumption.
I THINK here you're trying to say that everyone should be 'evoking' progress and production, or else they're stupid and timid. Right? First of all, that's entirely debatable. Secondly, are you really trying to say that anyone who isn't trying to ADVANCE SOCIETY is dumb and ignorant? And what do you mean by 'gumption'? 'Gumption' is defined as agressiveness, initiative, courage, or common sense. None of these definitions really make sense in your statement, except MAYBE the common sense definition if you really are trying to say that people who are content with living a 'simple life' and stupid. Are you? At this point I'm starting to get a sense of your tie in to medicine, unfortunately it seems to be headed toward an idea of "I want to pursue medicine so I can make a difference in the world and not be like these dumb peons all around me. Not good.
When I am home, not working and not in school, I feel useless and non-efficient.
Yup, I was right. Do you really feel USELESS? Can you not help out around the house? Or is that not a valuable use of your time because you're not getting paid for it, either in money or in grades? Do you never take vacations? I have to warn you, adcoms are looking for well rounded people. Bragging that you're only happy with your nose to the grindstone 24/7 is not going to get you the points you may think it will.
Contributing as a positive and efficient member of society gives me calm and peace. It gives me the desire to learn more and do more.
This sentence and the previous one make me think you don't really understand the meaning of the word efficient. You're EVOKING my memory of a certain Sicilian ;-) Other than this, it's a nice sentiment that seeing your abilities applied to the world, and seeing the utility that comes from them, motivates you to learn and do more is certainly a good thing. It shows drive and ambition. That's a decent concept to leave in there.
Moreover, it gives me the desire to sustain life and find out what I can and need to do next.
Why does it give you a desire to 'sustain life'? Do you mean your own life or that of others? You should expand on why you want to 'sustain' life and how that ties in to a medical career. However, I don't understand what you mean by 'find out what I can and need to do next." What you need to do next in order to accomplish what, exactly?
Life is a journey after all, and I can't afford to halt my journey with absolute contentment. The pursuit of happiness is what we desire. Not happiness itself.
Sure, life is a journey. What's your point? How does that tie in to the previous statement? Also, what the heck is 'absolute contentment'? And why would your 'journey' be halted by absolute contentment? And why couldn't you afford it? Seems like if you've somehow achieved nirvana, you should be able to afford to bask in it, or else it wouldn't really be nirvana.... Also, I don't know about you, but I know that I sure as heck desire happiness. So speak for yourself. Do you realize that statement is basically saying that you don't desire to be happy, but rather you desire to be some sort of martyr who is unhappy and always striving toward happiness, but never achieving it? It just doesn't make sense.
Now, I understand that this is only a portion of your PS, but in my opinion, it's a portion you should either leave out completely, or rewrite in it's entirety. Good luck, I know writing these statements is a tough task, it certainly was for me
🙂
