What happens to your significant other?

[Amalgamate]

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Girls pick up the dream of a long distance relationship because of movies like The Notebook? I can see why you're unattached.

Lol, why bash him it's true

How is being in a long distance relationship any different from having a penpal, as for the people that say "I have a long distance relationship but we see each other every few days" that's not a long distance relationship, the OP is talking about across state lines not seeing each other for months.

I've done the long distance thing, it's physically and emotionally draining, instead of being able to be with the person while you do other things such as study or eat, you have to put off those things and dedicate time to talking on the phone or texting. People are emotional and need to see things or experience things for them to be reality, even if that means seeing your spouse for a few minutes as they're coming and you're going, or them just being in the same household while studying. This isn't possible with LD, you'll find yourself saying I'll call you later I have to study, work, etc. and them feeling neglected.


And as for the comment about "no one should move without a ring on their finger" I completely agree, so I'll add to that and say if theres no plans of marriage why bother, and if there is and you do know that this is who you plan to marry, why wouldn't you move. When talking about marriage, if you have to think about it or second guess whether it's the right person, it's probably not

I don't blame the SO for not moving, but it's a red flag on their part in terms of where the relationship is going

Your significant other might be gone in six months and another will come along, being in med school is a privilege that most of us would kill for

 

[jdh71]

Ah, the elegant reply of someone who just hit puberty. Once you grow up, be sure to re-join an adult conversation.

Was the comment that far over your head?

 

[hrandani]

You're a *****.

Girls pick up the dream of a long distance relationship because of movies like The Notebook? I can see why you're unattached.


And because it happened to them, it happens to everyone.


Please, go on. It's giving me a chuckle listening to folks completely ignorant about such relationships make such statements.

I'm unattached? Wow, talk about projection. I'm in a great relationship which happens to take place in the same space and time. Imagine that. You're the person who can't find someone that wants to be within a hundred miles of you.

See? How did that feel? Try harder to be civil next time. Or read more closely. Your choice.

For everybody else who isn't incredibly defensive about their inability to admit their poor choices in life, relationships are difficult enough as it is to sustain during medical school. My advice which is true for the majority of people, but not all, is don't destroy both of your happiness by doing it long distance. If it's truly worth staying together figure out a way to be together. Otherwise breaking up saves you an absolute ton of pain and suffering and lost time. It's the responsible, adult thing to do.

 

[startswithb]

Soliciting relationship advice on SDN is one of the dumbest things one can do. I mean, you guys sure helped me on the MCAT, but this is ridiculous.

No one knows your relationship other than you. How you feel cannot be measured. Success in relationships cannot even be measured. I am going to have to be 4 hours away from my SO for a year and then 1 hour away for 3 years in med school. I chose to focus on my state schools for multiple reasons, one of which was proximity to my SO. We have been together for 2 years so far and have built a very solid foundation. We are both in our mid to late 20s and with enough dating experience to know that we are very very RIGHT for each other. If you are thinking there are plenty of fish in the sea at all times any time, then I can see why ending things would be more appealing than enduring a difficult phase in the relationship. This is not so for me at least and probably not most people with the successful LDR. It just depends on how worth it it is to you. That's all.

 

[Amalgamate]

Soliciting relationship advice on SDN is one of the dumbest things one can do. I mean, you guys sure helped me on the MCAT, but this is ridiculous.

What did you really expect a question was asked, answers were given.

I guess based on youre perspective, Its almost as dumb as asking for relationship advice on SDN, I'm not bashing the OP just making a point that SDN is a support group, for better or worse were all here to give advice, help each other, and guide each other

 

[hrandani]

I completely understand where you are coming from, but odds are good you will have a very different perspective on the topic in 3 years.

Nobody takes this kind of advice. Everyone thinks their relationship is unique. And who knows, maybe you'll be one of the lucky few.

 

[johnmendes]

I completely understand where you are coming from, but odds are good you will have a very different perspective on the topic in 3 years.

Nobody takes this kind of advice. Everyone thinks their relationship is unique. And who knows, maybe you'll be one of the lucky few.

This. The typical we are different, we can pull it through against all odds and our love will be strong. Bro, med school is tough as it is, you don't want to have stuff keeping you from being focused.

 

[Telekinesis]

Lawl. I'm moving to San Diego.... what are there no women in San Diego?

People have one night stands, date, stop dating, get married, get divorced, get married again... Gentleman, don't worry you will find someone else and everything will be okay. Who knows ending your current relationship may open you up for better opportunities in the future. Ladies, there are plenty of us to go around. If things don't work out they just weren't meant to. No sense worrying about what might happen just enjoy the ride

Does this account for the millions of people in prison?

 

[Gabby]

Lol, why bash him it's true

How is being in a long distance relationship any different from having a penpal, as for the people that say "I have a long distance relationship but we see each other every few days" that's not a long distance relationship, the OP is talking about across state lines not seeing each other for months.

I've done the long distance thing, it's physically and emotionally draining, instead of being able to be with the person while you do other things such as study or eat, you have to put off those things and dedicate time to talking on the phone or texting.

Speak for yourself. We Skype every day, all day. He's on my computer while I study and he does his thing. We watch TV together, we read together, and more importantly, we TALK, which is more than I can say for some couples I know who are married. The wife comes home, she does her thing, he does his int he other room and the only time they exchange any words is to say goodnight or announce that dinner is ready.

People are emotional and need to see things or experience things for them to be reality, even if that means seeing your spouse for a few minutes as they're coming and you're going, or them just being in the same household while studying.

Again, speak for yourself. Some of us are deep enough to know that even if we can't touch our SO every day, they're there and we love them all the same.

And as for the comment about "no one should move without a ring on their finger" I completely agree, so I'll add to that and say if theres no plans of marriage why bother

Just because they're not getting married right at this moment, doesn't mean they won't ever get married. Why is it a now or never thing?

 

[Gabby]

Was the comment that far over your head?

Nope. I just found it so utterly juvenile and ridiculous, I was embarrassed for you. But if you're proud of your immaturity, have at it. I'll just point and laugh at your lack of maturity.

I'm unattached? Wow, talk about projection. I'm in a great relationship which happens to take place in the same space and time. Imagine that. You're the person who can't find someone that wants to be within a hundred miles of you.

Is that why I'm getting married in a month? Is that why we just purchased a home together?

See? How did that feel? Try harder to be civil next time. Or read more closely. Your choice.

LOL, you're right. My feelings are so hurt, I don't know how I'll ever get over it. Get real. Nothing about your first post was civil.

 

[jdh71]

Nope. I just found it so utterly juvenile and ridiculous, I was embarrassed for you. But if you're proud of your immaturity, have at it. I'll just point and laugh at your lack of maturity.

It wasn't juvenile, nor immature. It made a point. If you really did understand the point, can you tell me what it was?

 

[johnmendes]

Is that why I'm getting married in a month? Is that why we just purchased a home together?

Will the ceremony be through skype too?


People change, especially during tough times like med school, but if your relationship doesn't keep up with your/his/her change, how can it last? Plus, 50% of weddings end in divorces. Odds are hard even for non distance relationships.

And why would you wanna go to med school in a relationship? What happened to chicks, money, power, chicks?

 

[KKat]

Will the ceremony be through skype too?

Lol!

Someone sounds like they are trying to validate their relationship by aruging.

People are going to disagree...don't take it so personally.

My school is in the same city as my bf; however, he would have eventaully moved if I got into a school somewhere else. It was a possibility so we discussed it a long time ago... just in case.

 

[PTPoeny]

Medical school is hard on some relationships. If you are one of the people that is going to feel guilty any second you aren't studying you will drive your SO crazy whether you guys are living together, in the same city or long distance. Every single one of these type of people that I know that started medical school with an SO broke up relatively quickly. And the ones that started dating people in medical school didn't have it last either.

If you are the type of person that can relax and forget about school when you aren't actively studying medical school is more like any other four years. Some relationships last four years, some don't. Yes, there will be periods that are more or less stressful and periods *cough* third year *cough* when you won't have as much time, but that is part of life. My balance of extra stressful periods and lack of time are pretty similar to my husbands with his job, sometimes it is crunch time and he is stressed out, and other times he is expected to work 90 hours a week and we don't see each other much. Other times we both have much more chill weeks and get to do really fun stuff. There was at least one long distance relationship that survived all four years of medical school in my class and they are getting married this fall.

 

[cpants]

This. The typical we are different, we can pull it through against all odds and our love will be strong. Bro, med school is tough as it is, you don't want to have stuff keeping you from being focused.

It's not really an against all odds type of scenario. This isn't like winning the lottery. Plenty of people make it work. There are usually a few couples in every med school class who pull it off. It will depend on the strength of the relationship and the individuals involved. The only sure way for it not to work is to quit before you start.

 

[MedicineMike]

I will add that our entire first year of our relationship was long distance (same distance in fact) during my last year of post-bacc. We did this for a year until We moved in together. It really wasn't that bad. We never went mooooooonths without seeing each other. max was 6-7 wks when I was taking my MCAT. I know med school will be a lot more work, but it's not going to be THAT big of a difference.

I like hearing all of the experiences of others though. It's reassuring.

 

[bonsaipalmtree]

I will add that our entire first year of our relationship was long distance (same distance in fact) during my last year of post-bacc. We did this for a year until We moved in together. It really wasn't that bad. We never went mooooooonths without seeing each other. max was 6-7 wks when I was taking my MCAT. I know med school will be a lot more work, but it's not going to be THAT big of a difference.

I like hearing all of the experiences of others though. It's reassuring.

You seem pretty chill and committed about it... way more so than all the bitter people on this thread. Keep that attitude, even in the lonely times, and you guys will be just fine. It's bitterness and resentment (due to the loneliness/distance) that ends long distance relationships anyway.

 

[Law2Doc]

... way more so than all the bitter people on this thread. ...

From what I'm seeing in this thread there really aren't really many "bitter" people. There are the majority of folks who have expressed what they have seen as the reality of med school, that the vast vast majority of the long distance things simply didn't pan out over four long and stressful years. And one poster who seems perhaps a bit too defensive about the long distance thing, and seems to lack distance on this topic (pardon the pun) to be objective.

The OP himself seems very nonchalant about it -- he and his SO are very career minded and at the present not at all focused on being local at the expense of their respective careers. He asked what people "typically do" in this situation, and most of the responses, accurately, said that "typically", these relationships run their course.

 

[MacVA]

Now its correct.

The vast majority of people in relationships at the beginning of my first year were single by the end of 1st year. By now (we're graduating) there are 3 that got/stayed married, and 1 that is still dating. 2 marriages ended.

OP - statistics are against you, but that shouldn't change what you do. You are going to give it your best shot and see where it takes you. Yes, some peoples SOs will follow them and move 3 times in 10 years; others will try the Long distance.

Decide whats best for you and good luck.

I saw the above in my girlfriends medical school class as well. 3 broken up marriages and 2 broken up engagements - oddly in all cases the NON medical partner ended things.

But at least, we did long distance for 2 years and she is doing her residency two miles from my house. 🙂

Good luck and yes it can be done but it is difficult. I do mean difficult.

 

[Law2Doc]

... oddly in all cases the NON medical partner ended things.
...

Not that odd. For a med student with not much time to put effort into a relationship, someone a few states away that they don't see every day works out just fine. For the person on the other end of that inattention, it's much harder. Relationships are like plants, and you forget to water them for a few days, they wither and die. The person who forgets to water the plants usually survives just fine.

 

[Perrotfish]

I've seen multiple people make the long distance thing work with wives and fiances. Generally one or both members of the relationship had to make some sacrifices in their careers, but not always. I've seen it work once with a couple that was just dating but that seems much more unusual. OP, why not propose?

 

[cbrons]

It's interesting to see it's the ladies almost desperately pushing the idea that this would work. While the men are much more reasonable about it all.

The only way to know is to try, and I'm not a betting man, but if I was, I'd put $20 on this not working.

I agree w/ doxy and JDH.

Seems to me like some people in this thread are overly defensive... probably because they have serious doubts about the longevity of their current LDRs regardless of how wonderful/manageable they keep saying it is.

 

[shadowfox87]

Anything's possible, but it's just more difficult. If you guys truly have a connection, most likely it will work. There are a lot of LDRs in my class and all of them seem to be working via skype or fb. When it's all done, you can probably go to where she is instead of the other way around.

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Anything's possible, but it's just more difficult. If you guys truly have a connection, most likely it will work. There are a lot of LDRs in my class and all of them seem to be working via skype or fb. When it's all done, you can probably go to where she is instead of the other way around.

Literally every single LDR in my first year class (who weren't already married) failed in the first 3 months. Not one survived. Two eventually got back together and are either engaged or are already married. So its tough to say. Anecdotes either way.

 

[45408]

Nope. I just found it so utterly juvenile and ridiculous, I was embarrassed for you. But if you're proud of your immaturity, have at it. I'll just point and laugh at your lack of maturity.

Is that why I'm getting married in a month? Is that why we just purchased a home together?

LOL, you're right. My feelings are so hurt, I don't know how I'll ever get over it. Get real. Nothing about your first post was civil.

It's unfortunate that you probably won't realize the irony.

 

[dude1344]

Every relationship is different. Only the both of you can determine how your relationship turns out.

 

[Gabby]

It wasn't juvenile, nor immature. It made a point.

The only point it made was that you're incapable of making your point without playing an immature 5-year-old.

Will the ceremony be through skype too?

Now that we've all shared a chuckle, how about adding something real to the conversation? But then again, you probably don't have an experience to add.

And why would you wanna go to med school in a relationship? What happened to chicks, money, power, chicks?

This says all we need to know.

Lol!

Someone sounds like they are trying to validate their relationship by aruging.

LOL, hardly. I just get annoyed at know-it-alls who think they know what's best for everyone. There have been several people in this thread who've made long distance relationships work, and still you get the stubborn posters who swear up and down there's no way, it's impossible.

It's not really an against all odds type of scenario. This isn't like winning the lottery. Plenty of people make it work. There are usually a few couples in every med school class who pull it off. It will depend on the strength of the relationship and the individuals involved. The only sure way for it not to work is to quit before you start.

👍 Great post!

You seem pretty chill and committed about it... way more so than all the bitter people on this thread. Keep that attitude, even in the lonely times, and you guys will be just fine. It's bitterness and resentment (due to the loneliness/distance) that ends long distance relationships anyway.

👍

From what I'm seeing in this thread there really aren't really many "bitter" people. There are the majority of folks who have expressed what they have seen as the reality of med school, that the vast vast majority of the long distance things simply didn't pan out over four long and stressful years. And one poster who seems perhaps a bit too defensive about the long distance thing, and seems to lack distance on this topic (pardon the pun) to be objective.

It doesn't shock me that you'd make such an observation based on the fact that most of your posts -- about anything -- are pessimistic and doom-and-gloom. As to my not being objective, I was expressing MY experience, as opposed to the countless people here who have never been through a long distance relationship yet feel they are the authority. I would venture to guess that a person who's actually been there has more to offer on such a topic, so my lack of "objectivity" as you call it is a good thing. No one was looking for objectivity. If you bothered to read the very first post, you would have seen that. The OP was looking for people to share their experiences. If anything, it's people like you who can't be objective enough/don't have the experience to contribute to this thread.

The OP himself seems very nonchalant about it -- he and his SO are very career minded and at the present not at all focused on being local at the expense of their respective careers. He asked what people "typically do" in this situation, and most of the responses, accurately, said that "typically", these relationships run their course.

Except, the majority of those came from people who've never done it. There were several people who said that they carried out long distance relationships and it worked. I don't know, when I ask for advice, I tend to listen to people who've been there. Perhaps you just like to be the glass-half-empty person 24/7.

I've seen multiple people make the long distance thing work with wives and fiances. Generally one or both members of the relationship had to make some sacrifices in their careers, but not always. I've seen it work once with a couple that was just dating but that seems much more unusual. OP, why not propose?

👍

I agree w/ doxy and JDH.

Seems to me like some people in this thread are overly defensive... probably because they have serious doubts about the longevity of their current LDRs regardless of how wonderful/manageable they keep saying it is.

Another armchair psychologist. Here's a tip for you about human behavior -- people tend to get defensive when they're told that someone else knows them/their relationship better than they do. Has nothing to do with doubts or any ridiculous thing that you'll convince yourself of in order to validate your point.

It's unfortunate that you probably won't realize the irony.

Someone needs to learn the definition of "irony." None exists in that post.

 

[Murphy Brown]

Gabby is right, this thread looks like it's straight out of pre-allo with all the know it alls.

I went back and forth on contributing because I didn't want to get jumped on, but we made a long distance relationship work for a year and a half before we moved in together. If nothing else, a long distance relationship will give you the chance to see if you really do love each other. If you don't, it'll fail. If you do, you'll find a way to make it work until you can be together like we did.

I don't get all this negativity and I agree with the poster who said a lot of these people are very bitter sounding. They are. Just because the odds are against you doesn't mean you don't try. You just throw in the towel because other people failed? That would be like telling all pre-meds that the majority of pre-meds don't get into med school, so don't bother. Or telling engaged couples that half the marriages end in divorce, so don't get married. So what if other people didn't make long distance work? Maybe they weren't mature. Maybe they couldn't stay faithful. Who cares? Everyone's experience is different and using someone else's trouble to justify an opinion that long distance won't work is stupid.

 

[osumc2014]

From what I'm hearing, why don't you just get engaged?

 

[jdh71]

The only point it made was that you're incapable of making your point without playing an immature 5-year-old.

You didn't get it. Noted. Thanks for playing, kid.

 

[jdh71]

Gabby is right, this thread looks like it's straight out of pre-allo with all the know it alls.

I went back and forth on contributing because I didn't want to get jumped on, but we made a long distance relationship work for a year and a half before we moved in together. If nothing else, a long distance relationship will give you the chance to see if you really do love each other. If you don't, it'll fail. If you do, you'll find a way to make it work until you can be together like we did.

I don't get all this negativity and I agree with the poster who said a lot of these people are very bitter sounding. They are. Just because the odds are against you doesn't mean you don't try. You just throw in the towel because other people failed? That would be like telling all pre-meds that the majority of pre-meds don't get into med school, so don't bother. Or telling engaged couples that half the marriages end in divorce, so don't get married. So what if other people didn't make long distance work? Maybe they weren't mature. Maybe they couldn't stay faithful. Who cares? Everyone's experience is different and using someone else's trouble to justify an opinion that long distance won't work is stupid.

Love will find a way? It's a quaint idea, though, often unrealistic, people that love each other often call it quits. Experience doesn't make a person bitter, it makes them wise.

The entire exercise reminds me of a kid dribbling a basketball telling me he wants to go pro. It is possible the kid can go pro? Sure, "anything" is "possible" is we want to push the argument to extremist edges bordering on sophistry. Would I tell the kid not to try? No. But if I tell him his chances of going pro aren't very good, I suddenly become the dick? Have I thus become your enemy because I have told you the truth? Or perhaps you would like this online community to continue to feed into a magical type of thinking because the reality bothers and disturbs? Grow up.

 

[Gabby]

You didn't get it. Noted. Thanks for playing, kid.

Don't flatter yourself. You're not that deep.

Experience doesn't make a person bitter, it makes them wise.

Not when it comes to you.

The entire exercise reminds me of a kid dribbling a basketball telling me he wants to go pro. It is possible the kid can go pro? Sure, "anything" is "possible" is we want to push the argument to extremist edges bordering on sophistry. Would I tell the kid not to try? No. But if I tell him his chances of going pro aren't very good, I suddenly become the dick?

That didn't make you a dick. What made you a dick is saying that it's impossible and also saying that the women were desperately selling the idea while the men were being reasonable about it. Aside from the fact that there were MEN on this thread who agreed that long distance relationships can work, the fact that you'd consider one side reasonable and the other side full of meaningless delusions, makes you a dick. Mocking posters makes you a dick.

Have I thus become your enemy because I have told you the truth? Or perhaps you would like this online community to continue to feed into a magical type of thinking because the reality bothers and disturbs? Grow up.

And this also makes you a dick, in case you were wondering.

 

[45408]

Someone needs to learn the definition of "irony." None exists in that post.

Yes, you do.

Either that, or you consider "pointing and laughing" to be a marker for maturity.

 

[jdh71]

That didn't make you a dick. What made you a dick is saying that it's impossible and also saying that the women were desperately selling the idea while the men were being reasonable about it. Aside from the fact that there were MEN on this thread who agreed that long distance relationships can work, the fact that you'd consider one side reasonable and the other side full of meaningless delusions, makes you a dick. Mocking posters makes you a dick.

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me . . . what is actually said and what is heard. You're projecting your own nonsense onto me sweetheart, and in the process arguing against strawmen positions I've not taken. Congrats champ, you get the prize. Strong work. You'd be much less bent out of shape if you actually tried to understand what I'm saying, but you got defensive and butt-hurt and now it is quit obvious that u r, as a point or matter of fact, mad.

And this also makes you a dick, in case you were wondering.

It's unfortunate you find reality to galling, and the mere fact that I have told you the truth about the world so galling, because the world and the truth didn't ask your opinion. Acceptance, or lack thereof, is at the root of most of your problems here. That is quite clear to me, and others. The fear of your relationship going tits up is coming off of you like a stink - that fear and the truth that most of the time these situations don't ultimately work out is not my responsibility.

 

[DrDrToBe]

OP, any relationship can work if you are both committed enough to want to make it work. However, as many other posters have said, it is unlikely to last if neither of you can compromise.
Personal experience:my boyfriend (now my husband) spent 6 months in China while I was in grad school. Because of the time difference, I woke up 5 o'clock every morning to Skype with him and it was fine because I knew in 6 months he would be back. When he got back from china, he still needed to finish up his grad program and wasn't able to move with me to med school. I put off applying to med school for a year to give him time to finish. He was also very involved in my med school application process, in terms of what cities he would be happy in etc. Anyway, he moved with me when I started med school and we now live together and are happily married.
Many students in my class started out with "committed" LDR, but I can tell you that every single party I went to during 1st year those committed folks were happily making out with with other classmates and upperclass students. I am really close with many of my classmates, and I can tell you there is a lot of sleeping around that happens when you mix the stress, post-exam parties and alcohol together. Needless to say, those LDR's relationships didn't last. We even had one guy break up with his high school sweetheart during 1st year of med school and is now dating another med student.
We have a few LDRs that worked, but the key thing was that the long distance thing was finite, i.e. their SO moved here during 1st year or 2nd year.

 

[johnmendes]

I agree with the above poster. For it to work, it has to be a temporary LDR. Someone will have to sacrifice something... Or you can just both keep the LDR and get together by retirement.

 

[DrDrToBe]

That didn't make you a dick. What made you a dick is saying that it's impossible and also saying that the women were desperately selling the idea while the men were being reasonable about it. Aside from the fact that there were MEN on this thread who agreed that long distance relationships can work, the fact that you'd consider one side reasonable and the other side full of meaningless delusions, makes you a dick. Mocking posters makes you a dick.
And this also makes you a dick, in case you were wondering.

Wow, why are you so mad? You are taking this way too personally! It's an anonymous forum, you don't know any of these people and they don't know you. The name calling and attacking the posters who disagree with you is totally unnecessary. Just relax and enjoy the discussion 🙂

 

[mac_kin]

[

 

[Gabby]

Yes, you do.

Either that, or you consider "pointing and laughing" to be a marker for maturity.

When you talk to a kid, you talk down to the kid's level.

 

[Gabby]

Wow. It never ceases to amaze me . . . what is actually said and what is heard. You're projecting your own nonsense onto me sweetheart, and in the process arguing against strawmen positions I've not taken.

Everything I attributed to you came from your own posts on this topic. It's all there in black and white.

Congrats champ, you get the prize. Strong work. You'd be much less bent out of shape if you actually tried to understand what I'm saying, but you got defensive and butt-hurt and now it is quit obvious that u r, as a point or matter of fact, mad.

You're really think I'm "mad"? Believe me, I'm not mad. I just don't care for posters condescending posters like yourself. And I won't hesitate to tell you that in so many words.

It's unfortunate you find reality to galling, and the mere fact that I have told you the truth about the world so galling, because the world and the truth didn't ask your opinion.

This is precisely my point. You think that just because you have an opinion, that opinion is how the world works and anyone who disagrees with you doesn't see the world as it is. You're a condescending "dick" (your word) who can't understand that people have different experiences and just because I disagree with you doesn't mean that I'm some naive little girl with her head in the clouds. It's a shame you can't wrap your mind around that.

Acceptance, or lack thereof, is at the root of most of your problems here.

Yet more proof.

That is quite clear to me, and others. The fear of your relationship going tits up is coming off of you like a stink - that fear and the truth that most of the time these situations don't ultimately work out is not my responsibility.

More armchair psychology. You're not the expert you think you are, hot shot. Not even close.

Wow, why are you so mad? You are taking this way too personally! It's an anonymous forum, you don't know any of these people and they don't know you. The name calling and attacking the posters who disagree with you is totally unnecessary. Just relax and enjoy the discussion 🙂

Again, I'm not mad just because I stand up to posters who like to be condescending. The notion that I'm a naive little girl who doesn't understand life just because I've had a different experience is insulting and I'm not afraid to say so.

 

[45408]

When you talk to a kid, you talk down to the kid's level.

Putting things on their level is different than descending to that level. I don't throw my food on the floor when I'm talking to my toddler.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

Wow, why are you so mad? You are taking this way too personally! It's an anonymous forum, you don't know any of these people and they don't know you. The name calling and attacking the posters who disagree with you is totally unnecessary. Just relax and enjoy the discussion 🙂

As someone who's read this thread, I disagree with your assessment. I'm ashamed to say that I'm of the opinion that LDRs are too hard to maintain in med school because I don't want to be associated with the asses who've littered this thread. Jdh has been a prick about an opinion we both share. His post above is proof of that, not only his post to Gabby but to Murphy too. Others have also been *******s. It doesn't surprise me in the least that she got defensive when people tell her crap like she doesn't understand reality or she's not in a real relationship or she's mad that her relationship is failing. It takes a lot of freaking nerve to tell a stranger that and frankly speaking, if someone told me that, I'd slam them, too.

This thread really is like it's straight out of pre-allo with a bunch of ignorant fools claiming to know what's best for everyone.

OP, I've been there. LDR's are hard work. Med school is difficult. I have nothing but respect for those who make LDR's work in med school. If I were you, I'd try it out and see what happens. Just be aware of how difficult it is.

 

[DrBowtie]

This thread is full of LOLs.

I'll say my class was about 50/50 in relationship survival and that was with people living in the same city. A few marriages are already done, some LTRs, and plenty of short term deals.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

Putting things on their level is different than descending to that level. I don't throw my food on the floor when I'm talking to my toddler.

Come on man, after Jdh's posts to her about educating her on the world? I don't blame her. I would have said much worse.

 

[jdh71]

Everything I attributed to you came from your own posts on this topic. It's all there in black and white.

No. You created multiple strawmen positions that I never took. I never said these things never work. I never said someone should not try. I never said only men are reasonable. And I'm not sure if this is because you are overly emotional regarding this subject or simply an idiot (perhaps both), but you've had more than one swing and a miss here. Yet, you claim you know what you're talking about and what's going on here. Priceless. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad and tragic.

It's not my "opinion" that most of the time these LDRs do not work over the long term, it is the objective evidence. It's not my opinion that the sky is blue - the sky simply is. The fact that you want to be mad at me about telling you the truth speaks volumes, nay screams it. I'm not the one you're mad at here.

 

[MedStudentWanna]

Then someone must have hacked your account.

No. You created multiple strawmen positions that I never took. I never said these things never work.

Here's a cake. You may either have it and look at it all pretty, or you may eat it. Impossible to have both.

I never said only men are reasonable.

It's interesting to see it's the ladies almost desperately pushing the idea that this would work. While the men are much more reasonable about it all.

And I'm not sure if this is because you are overly emotional regarding this subject or simply an idiot (perhaps both), but you've had more than one swing and a miss here. Yet, you claim you know what you're talking about and what's going on here. Priceless. It'd be funny if it wasn't so sad and tragic.

And yet more of the same. Then you're surprised when someone slams you on it. You said everything she claimed you said and then some.

It's not my "opinion" that most of the time these LDRs do not work over the long term, it is the objective evidence. It's not my opinion that the sky is blue - the sky simply is. The fact that you want to be mad at me about telling you the truth speaks volumes, nay screams it. I'm not the one you're mad at here.

And yet even more. I suspect she's not mad at you for telling "the truth" (as you see it). I suspect she just plain thinks you're an idiot who can't express his opinion without assuming that if people don't agree, it's because they're delusional.

 

[jdh71]

As someone who's read this thread, I disagree with your assessment. I'm ashamed to say that I'm of the opinion that LDRs are too hard to maintain in med school because I don't want to be associated with the asses who've littered this thread. Jdh has been a prick about an opinion we both share. His post above is proof of that, not only his post to Gabby but to Murphy too. Others have also been *******s. It doesn't surprise me in the least that she got defensive when people tell her crap like she doesn't understand reality or she's not in a real relationship or she's mad that her relationship is failing. It takes a lot of freaking nerve to tell a stranger that and frankly speaking, if someone told me that, I'd slam them, too.

This thread really is like it's straight out of pre-allo with a bunch of ignorant fools claiming to know what's best for everyone.

OP, I've been there. LDR's are hard work. Med school is difficult. I have nothing but respect for those who make LDR's work in med school. If I were you, I'd try it out and see what happens. Just be aware of how difficult it is.

The gifts keep on giving.

I didn't tell gabby she's not in a real relationship nor did I tell her she in a failing relationship. I never in any place made any kind of claim I know what's best for anyone - a position I don't hold. Where do you people come up with this stuff?

Reading comprehension is very important, try some.

 

[jdh71]

This thread is full of LOLs.

I'll say my class was about 50/50 in relationship survival and that was with people living in the same city. A few marriages are already done, some LTRs, and plenty of short term deals.

beginning to deliver

 

[MedStudentWanna]

The gifts keep on giving.

I didn't tell gabby she's not in a real relationship nor did I tell her she in a failing relationship. I never in any place made any kind of claim I know what's best for anyone - a position I don't hold. Where do you people come up with this stuff?

I never claimed it was you who told her she's not in a real relationship. Someone else told her. My point was I can see why she'd reply the way she did to all of you with those kinds of comments. You were rude enough in your other posts that I have no trouble understanding her slamming you.

Reading comprehension is very important

I'm glad you realize that. Maybe you could try it out sometime?

 

[jdh71]

Then someone must have hacked your account.

And yet more of the same. Then you're surprised when someone slams you on it. You said everything she claimed you said and then some.

Are you always this much of an intellectually dishonest douchebag? The first quote is out of context, which was said within the context of 4 years. I never said LDRs never work out. The next point you try to make is a quote about an observation about this thread up to that point, an observation about the thread does not equal men are reasonable and women are not. Two big swings and misses there champ. Your mother would be proud.

I'm not surprised when someone flames me. It happens all the time. I have strong opinions which I often share and too often people don't like my opinions, so they flame me. I'm not surprise, she's merely wrong. The wrongness does surprise me a little.

And yet even more. I suspect she's not mad at you for telling "the truth" (as you see it). I suspect she just plain thinks you're an idiot who can't express his opinion without assuming that if people don't agree, it's because they're delusional.

I don't think all people who disagree with me are delusion - where do you come up with this stuff? I think people that create strawmen arguments against positions I've not taken are probably idiots. And I think people that refuse to accept certain objective points are probably delusional per that issue. You yourself agree that most LDRs don't work.