Medical What should I do if I feel like I'm falling down stairs?

[TheBoneDoctah]

Hi (whomever is out there to help)! So.....I am currently in the applicant pool for MD admissions at some 19 schools this cycle, with a pretty decent MCAT (511), sub-par GPA (3.4-3.5, something like that) and I have a BSE in biomedical engineering and I'm completing a MS in the same major before I would start attending med school. I enrolled in the master's program to try to get some extra grades to compensate my low uGPA.

But guys, this year is REALLY taking its toll on my mental health. I was lucky enough to have taken the MCAT in January before the whole COVID thing took off, but that just took away so many of my plans to complete some preclinical stuff. Like, I had plenty of hours as an EMT (~200), but I wanted to keep doing more because I didn't feel like I saw enough patients since the department I worked for is in a very rural town. Also, I had two research projects that were canned cuz of the pandemic, and then quarantine took its toll on my relationship at the time. I lost my job because of COVID, so I started having financial troubles, and on top of that, I've been feeling so alone, I am the kind of person who loves interacting with people. I am fortunate enough to have my own place to live, courtesy of my parents, but I am just so alone here.

My mental health started to diminish around when I was studying for the MCAT last winter, and it's been deteriorating more and more since then. I've been turned down from job after job, and grad school classes are demanding as ever. But most recently, my gf just dumped me after almost 3 years together, and that feels like the last straw. She always supported me throughout all the struggles of premed life in college, but now I don't feel like I have anyone left to vent to. I've started drinking, and I'm scared that I might hurt myself. I've scheduled to see a psychiatrist for professional help.

I know this has been a bit of a raw post, but I don't know if it's the right time for me to start medical school anymore. To be honest, right after I got my MCAT score back, I thought I was ready. But now everything is a ****show and I don't know if it is a wise move anymore. Will things get better in time?

Thank you again for any advise you can provide me

PLEASE.

You need to see a psychiatrist and get your health under control. This is WAY more important than medical school right now and the last thing you want to do is add the stress of medical school to everything. Once you have your mind clear again, then you can continue. Medical school isn't going anywhere. Don't rush. Take time to feel better, get your EC numbers up, and then apply when YOU are ready.

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[Mr.Smile12]

If you don't know it's the right time to start medical school, don't start. We have a lot of problems with burnout and mental health challenges in medical school and beyond; and this was before the pandemic. Get help and keep it.

 

[M&L]

agree with the above - definitely find a professional to talk to. I will just add one thing:

something when we feel like life is falling and there is nothing good left, because we lost everything, it is just life preparing us for something much better that is about to come along. you cannot pour more water into the glass that is already full.

best of luck. i know it might not feel like that now, but it will be ok.

 

[tantacles]

Update (If you guys follow this at all):
I am feeling better, got rid of the substances that were putting me in potential danger, and am getting professional help for my mental health. I have always low-key felt mental health as a deep passion, but never (until now) thought that I would suffer so greatly from it. I am interested in trying to help people going through mental health struggles of their own, can anyone provide resources on how to get involved with something like that?

I think it's great that you're getting help. That being said, a more general question like this, like, "I'm interested in getting involved in peer mentoring programs", might be better suited to a more public thread. Other users can share their experiences and knowledge of programs.