- Joined
- Feb 17, 2009
- Messages
- 18
- Reaction score
- 0
Last edited:
What to do about spouse not wanting me to become a surgeon?
- Thread starter jennearomo
- Start date
- Status
- Joined
- Sep 4, 2008
- Messages
- 844
- Reaction score
- 0
Maybe tone it down a bit?
The key to maintaining any relationship is compromise. He most likely wants to see you happy as well, but does not want to lose you to hours of studying, stress, and isolation. Am I correct in assuming this is his reasoning? Even after becoming a doctor (and especially a surgeon), your time for family will be limited.
It's great that you're already thinking about balance! What we love to do, we find time to do! So my advice: take things slowly. Don't swamp him in your plans to conquer every disease in the known world. 😛 Instead of arguing, just listen to what he has to say and put yourself in his position. At any rate, if you're a senior in high school, realize that a lot can change in four years.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2008
- Messages
- 1,695
- Reaction score
- 5
Spouse may have been used incorrectly in thread title...OP refers to him as her boyfriend in the post, maybe she is in high school?
It's hard to say how your relationship will be affected when you enter med school/residency...it's a very time consuming and stressful time. It's very possible that any free time that you normally would spend with your significant other will be spent studying and preparing for class.
It's hard to say how your relationship will be affected when you enter med school/residency...it's a very time consuming and stressful time. It's very possible that any free time that you normally would spend with your significant other will be spent studying and preparing for class.
He seems to sound really selfish. You might want to reevaluate your relationship. I'm not sure if your in college or high school either way you have a long way ahead of you. If you haven't even gotten to medical school yet or this is just an idea and he's upset what is he going to do then you will have to push him away sometimes for biology...I strong suggest you think about what role he will have to play. Which one is more important school or your relationship. good luck..and take this from someone with experience do what you have to do and don't let anyone deter you from your dreams...
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2006
- Messages
- 2,173
- Reaction score
- 27
LOL! i wouldn't go that far...
I'd be freaking out if my boyfriend was in ***highschool*** and wanted to be a "surgeon" and was calling me a spouse...
The OP is in highschool... she should be worried about getting her pocket money and going on dates with her boyfriend... not worrying about the future and alienating her boyfriend because of something she wants to do a decade from now...
PS: OP, if you seriously have to "push" someone away for highschool/AP biology, then you may need to reassess your study skills...
H
heartthrob
yeah, and she ends up getting married and having kids, forgetting about any ambitions or aspirations?
Your advice fails.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2008
- Messages
- 12,111
- Reaction score
- 250
What does reevaluating her current goals have to do with forgetting ambitions and aspirations? I'd say that if anything fails, it's your reading comprehension.
In general, I agree with the advice given so far. Taking things one step at a time is the best course of action for something as complex as med school admission. Take care of your current courses to the best of your ability. Once you're in college, start churning out high grades, and get involved in some extracurricular activities - preferably ones with clinical relevance. If your boyfriend has problems with you pursuing your reasonable goals by reasonable means, maybe it's time for a new boyfriend.
In general, I agree with the advice given so far. Taking things one step at a time is the best course of action for something as complex as med school admission. Take care of your current courses to the best of your ability. Once you're in college, start churning out high grades, and get involved in some extracurricular activities - preferably ones with clinical relevance. If your boyfriend has problems with you pursuing your reasonable goals by reasonable means, maybe it's time for a new boyfriend.
H
heartthrob
.......
Last edited by a moderator:
H
heartthrob
No there's something wrong with yours.
- Joined
- Apr 6, 2008
- Messages
- 837
- Reaction score
- 6
i assume your only in highschool.....dont worry about what he thinks, be independent. If thats what you want to do then do it, he doesnt own you, and if he cant support you when your always supporting him, then im sorry, he doesnt deserve you, or you deserve better.
dont plan your life around your boyfriend.
dont plan your life around your boyfriend.
H
heartthrob
Thanks. This is what I was trying to say.
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2008
- Messages
- 12,111
- Reaction score
- 250
It looks like you and phospho are basically saying the same thing. 😉
mmmcdowe
Duke of minimal vowels
Staff member
Administrator
Volunteer Staff
Lifetime Donor
15+ Year Member
- Joined
- Sep 13, 2008
- Messages
- 9,968
- Reaction score
- 2,005
OP
1) You are in high school, focus on getting into your dream college rather than medical school. College is the important thing that your current studies can affect, med schools don't care much about high school life. I think maybe one or two asked me for SAT scores.
2) Chances are, you will not be with your boyfriend by the time you go to medical school. The whole "high school sweethearts" thing does occur, but its a lot harder now adays when you'll both be off going to college. As others have said, don't plan your life around your boyfriend. Frankly, I don't think you two should talk about planning anything to do with medicine until maybe a year before medical school, TOPS.
3) The more pressing relationship affector is going to be college. Don't worry about that either until you both have decided where you are going to go, and don't you dare changing your top choice to his!
4) You are young. Right now you're probably rolling your eyes thinking "I'm mature for my age" or "I'm the exception to the rule" etc etc. Nothing wrong with that, I was the same way. Accept the possibility that your current relationship might not be your last. If you can't, there's probably something wrong.
1) You are in high school, focus on getting into your dream college rather than medical school. College is the important thing that your current studies can affect, med schools don't care much about high school life. I think maybe one or two asked me for SAT scores.
2) Chances are, you will not be with your boyfriend by the time you go to medical school. The whole "high school sweethearts" thing does occur, but its a lot harder now adays when you'll both be off going to college. As others have said, don't plan your life around your boyfriend. Frankly, I don't think you two should talk about planning anything to do with medicine until maybe a year before medical school, TOPS.
3) The more pressing relationship affector is going to be college. Don't worry about that either until you both have decided where you are going to go, and don't you dare changing your top choice to his!
4) You are young. Right now you're probably rolling your eyes thinking "I'm mature for my age" or "I'm the exception to the rule" etc etc. Nothing wrong with that, I was the same way. Accept the possibility that your current relationship might not be your last. If you can't, there's probably something wrong.
- Status
