Essentially there are only a limited number of types of personal statements that one can write for your internal medicine application.
This excellent piece below by Aran Kadar, MD perfectly sums it up. Everyone essentially writes one of the following types of personal statements. Dr. Kadar was chief resident at Rush a number of years ago, but even years later the same thing applies today.
All of these personal statements must drive Program Directors nuts. Don't know how they can continue reading them when everyone shines like a diamond and makes themselves out that they can overcome any adversity thrown their way............
Diary of a hospital application reader
"My Dead Relative," "My After-School Special," "Boo-Hoo" and other essays that might get you a job after medical school.
By Aran Kadar
During the last year of medical school, eager students mail their applications across the country in the hopes of securing postgraduate training. I work at a large university hospital as one of the chief residents, with a desk buried beneath these applications. We have just completed the interview season, and after poring over the files of 600 well-intended students with good hearts wrapped in blue suits, I have taken on the far-off stare seen in combat veterans and high school teachers during a grading period.
Every one of these gilded manila dossiers sings of overachievement to the point of indistinction. Each applicant has five discoveries published in major medical journals. They all play piano, dance the Lindy Hop and practice an obscure martial art, when theyre not too busy composing free verse in any one of several foreign languages. None admit to resenting their parents. Not one of them has spent time in prison or dislikes nature.
But as high as each of these wonderful people may soar, the landing is just as ugly. The crash back to Earth arrives as the dreaded one-page declaration of worth: the personal statement. Medical students endure four years of intense schooling, during which the limitless mysteries of the human body appear as either A, B, C or D. After years of measuring ones progress with multiple choice exams, how is a person to approach the alien task of self-expression?
What results is a pile of well-intended, earnest and thoroughly unoriginal paperwork. I have categorized the essays here with the idea of offering future applicants the chance to simply choose one of the seven statements theyre likely to turn in.
1. My Dead Relative. I can still remember the day we raced [insert relative's name here] to the emergency room as he clutched his chest in agony. That was the day I vowed to fight coronary artery disease for the rest of my life.
2. My Great Relative. I grew up in a waiting room. Dr. Everschmidt, my father, scheduled me for 15-minute visits once a month for vaccines and quality time. Allow me to return the favor to children of my own.
3. Boo-Hoo: My Awful Tragedy. Many people have tried to tell me that a triple amputee cannot practice medicine. Well, these naysayers remind me of the pessimists who told me I would never obtain a black belt in Shotokan. The same grit and determination which led me to break planks of wood with my nose will see me through any challenges that residency may throw in my face.
4. My After-School Special: The touching story of an eager medical student and his cranky, terminally ill patient. Old Ms. Crabapple was famous on the seventh floor for her rotten attitude. With her metastatic lung cancer, she thought she could pretty much tell people what to do. She once even yelled at a doctor, refusing his order for an enema! I was afraid of her, but after we had a chance to sit and talk, I realized she was a human being after all just an old woman frightened of dying. My own mortality is hard to imagine, so I simply sat by her side and held her hand quietly. Then she agreed to the enema.
5. My Dictionary. In Websters Unabridged Third International Edition, the entry under obstinate reads not easily subdued. It may have taken me three tries to pass the boards, but you can be sure Ill bring that same grit and determination to the care of my patients, no matter how many times I have to try before I get things right.
6. My Interesting Patient. After disimpacting him for several hours, I immediately recognized that there would be no pony at the bottom of this pile of manure, and secondly, that the bleeding cauliflower-shaped mass protruding from Mr. Lickspittles anus was not, in fact, a hemorrhoid. In my few fascinating months on the hospital wards, I had never before dreamed that pneumonia could present as a perirectal mass.
7. My Ridiculous Metaphor. To me, medicine is a jewel with many facets. As a medical student, I am but a poppy seed on the everything bagel of medicine. With dedication and training, I hope one day to be the schmear. Medicine is a flower it is a river it is a glazed ham.
Much as I may roll my eyes, Im not above these categories. After putting away the last of the personal statements, I went to the department archives and dusted off my own manila folder. My testimonial is a No. 4, the After-School Special: a heartwarming tale of an angry homeless man who hated Jews until he met this one. Now stop crying. I got the job, didnt I?
Aran Kadar, MD
From left, members of the new Politburo Standing Committee Zhang Gaoli, Liu Yunshan, Zhang Dejiang, Xi Jinping, Li Keqiang, Yu Zhengsheng and Wang Qishan applaud in Beijing's Great Hall of the People Thursday. The seven-member Standing Committee, the inner circle of Chinese political power, was paraded in front of assembled media on the first day following the end of the 18th Communist Party Congress. (AP Photo/Vincent Yu)
Great Hall of the People
Military police frisk motorcyclists as they patrol in the Paraisopolis slum in Sao Paulo, Brazil, early Tuesday. At least 140 people have been murdered in South America's biggest city over the past two weeks in a rising wave of violence, Sao Paulo's Public Safety Department said Sunday. (AP Photo/Andre Penner)
Brazil Violence
The mother of 10-month-old Palestinian infant Haneen Tafesh is comforted by relatives prior to the funeral in Jabaliya, north Gaza, Friday. According to hospital reports Tafesh died from wounds of an earlier Israeli strike. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)
Palestine
Lila Downs performs at the 13th Annual Latin Grammy Awards at Mandalay Bay on Thursday in Las Vegas. (Photo by Al Powers/Powers Imagery/Invision/AP)
Lila Downs
Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., left, with Senate Intelligence Committee Vice Chairman Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga., right, speaks during a media availability after a closed-door oversight hearing of the committee on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, looking into the circumstances surrounding the deadly attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Libya
Tibetan Prime Minister Lobsang Sangay speaks during the Special International Tibet Support Groups Meeting in Dharmsala, India, Friday. More than a hundred delegates are attending a three-day meeting ending Sunday in Dharmsala to discuss ways to gather more international support for Tibet. (AP Photo/Ashwini Bhatia)
Lobsang Sangay
Gaza's Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh, right, and Egyptian Prime Minister Hesham Kandil, left, wave to the crowd as they meet in Gaza City, Friday, Nov. 16, 2012. (AP Photo/Adel Hana)
Ismail Haniyeh
On Sunday, Mark Rozin, 47, Daniil Rozin, 11, Lev Rozin, 24, Anatoly Rozin, 78, Geda Zimanenko, 100, Luiza Rozina, 78, Maya Rozina, 8 pose in their Moscow apartment. The four generations of Zimanenko- Rozin's family embody the history of Jews in Russia over the past century, from the restrictions of czarist times to the revival of Jewish culture in Russia today. (AP Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)
Russian Jew resurgence
President Barack Obama is hugged by New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo upon his arrival at JFK International Airport in New York, Nov. 15, 2012, en route to visit areas devastated by superstorm Sandy. From left are Housing and Urban Development Secretary Shaun Donovan, Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y., and Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)
Barack Obama
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This excellent piece below by Aran Kadar, MD perfectly sums it up. Everyone essentially writes one of the following types of personal statements. Dr. Kadar was chief resident at Rush a number of years ago, but even years later the same thing applies today.
All of these personal statements must drive Program Directors nuts. Don't know how they can continue reading them when everyone shines like a diamond and makes themselves out that they can overcome any adversity thrown their way............
Diary of a hospital application reader
"My Dead Relative," "My After-School Special," "Boo-Hoo" and other essays that might get you a job after medical school.
By Aran Kadar
During the last year of medical school, eager students mail their applications across the country in the hopes of securing postgraduate training. I work at a large university hospital as one of the chief residents, with a desk buried beneath these applications. We have just completed the interview season, and after poring over the files of 600 well-intended students with good hearts wrapped in blue suits, I have taken on the far-off stare seen in combat veterans and high school teachers during a grading period.
Every one of these gilded manila dossiers sings of overachievement to the point of indistinction. Each applicant has five discoveries published in major medical journals. They all play piano, dance the Lindy Hop and practice an obscure martial art, when theyre not too busy composing free verse in any one of several foreign languages. None admit to resenting their parents. Not one of them has spent time in prison or dislikes nature.
But as high as each of these wonderful people may soar, the landing is just as ugly. The crash back to Earth arrives as the dreaded one-page declaration of worth: the personal statement. Medical students endure four years of intense schooling, during which the limitless mysteries of the human body appear as either A, B, C or D. After years of measuring ones progress with multiple choice exams, how is a person to approach the alien task of self-expression?
What results is a pile of well-intended, earnest and thoroughly unoriginal paperwork. I have categorized the essays here with the idea of offering future applicants the chance to simply choose one of the seven statements theyre likely to turn in.
1. My Dead Relative. I can still remember the day we raced [insert relative's name here] to the emergency room as he clutched his chest in agony. That was the day I vowed to fight coronary artery disease for the rest of my life.
2. My Great Relative. I grew up in a waiting room. Dr. Everschmidt, my father, scheduled me for 15-minute visits once a month for vaccines and quality time. Allow me to return the favor to children of my own.
3. Boo-Hoo: My Awful Tragedy. Many people have tried to tell me that a triple amputee cannot practice medicine. Well, these naysayers remind me of the pessimists who told me I would never obtain a black belt in Shotokan. The same grit and determination which led me to break planks of wood with my nose will see me through any challenges that residency may throw in my face.
4. My After-School Special: The touching story of an eager medical student and his cranky, terminally ill patient. Old Ms. Crabapple was famous on the seventh floor for her rotten attitude. With her metastatic lung cancer, she thought she could pretty much tell people what to do. She once even yelled at a doctor, refusing his order for an enema! I was afraid of her, but after we had a chance to sit and talk, I realized she was a human being after all just an old woman frightened of dying. My own mortality is hard to imagine, so I simply sat by her side and held her hand quietly. Then she agreed to the enema.
5. My Dictionary. In Websters Unabridged Third International Edition, the entry under obstinate reads not easily subdued. It may have taken me three tries to pass the boards, but you can be sure Ill bring that same grit and determination to the care of my patients, no matter how many times I have to try before I get things right.
6. My Interesting Patient. After disimpacting him for several hours, I immediately recognized that there would be no pony at the bottom of this pile of manure, and secondly, that the bleeding cauliflower-shaped mass protruding from Mr. Lickspittles anus was not, in fact, a hemorrhoid. In my few fascinating months on the hospital wards, I had never before dreamed that pneumonia could present as a perirectal mass.
7. My Ridiculous Metaphor. To me, medicine is a jewel with many facets. As a medical student, I am but a poppy seed on the everything bagel of medicine. With dedication and training, I hope one day to be the schmear. Medicine is a flower it is a river it is a glazed ham.
Much as I may roll my eyes, Im not above these categories. After putting away the last of the personal statements, I went to the department archives and dusted off my own manila folder. My testimonial is a No. 4, the After-School Special: a heartwarming tale of an angry homeless man who hated Jews until he met this one. Now stop crying. I got the job, didnt I?
Aran Kadar, MD
From left, members of the new Politburo Standing Committee Zhang Gaoli, Liu Yunshan, Zhang Dejiang, Xi Jinping, Li Keqiang, Yu Zhengsheng and Wang Qishan applaud in Beijing's Great Hall of the People Thursday. The seven-member Standing Committee, the inner circle of Chinese political power, was paraded in front of assembled media on the first day following the end of the 18th Communist Party Congress. (AP Photo/Vincent Yu)
Great Hall of the People
Military police frisk motorcyclists as they patrol in the Paraisopolis slum in Sao Paulo, Brazil, early Tuesday. At least 140 people have been murdered in South America's biggest city over the past two weeks in a rising wave of violence, Sao Paulo's Public Safety Department said Sunday. (AP Photo/Andre Penner)
Brazil Violence
The mother of 10-month-old Palestinian infant Haneen Tafesh is comforted by relatives prior to the funeral in Jabaliya, north Gaza, Friday. According to hospital reports Tafesh died from wounds of an earlier Israeli strike. (AP Photo/Bernat Armangue)
Palestine
Lila Downs performs at the 13th Annual Latin Grammy Awards at Mandalay Bay on Thursday in Las Vegas. (Photo by Al Powers/Powers Imagery/Invision/AP)
Lila Downs
Senate Intelligence Committee Chairwoman Sen. Dianne Feinstein, D-Calif., left, with Senate Intelligence Committee Vice Chairman Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga., right, speaks during a media availability after a closed-door oversight hearing of the committee on Capitol Hill in Washington, Thursday, looking into the circumstances surrounding the deadly attack on the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya. (AP Photo/Alex Brandon)
Libya
Tibetan Prime Minister Lobsang Sangay speaks during the Special International Tibet Support Groups Meeting in Dharmsala, India, Friday. More than a hundred delegates are attending a three-day meeting ending Sunday in Dharmsala to discuss ways to gather more international support for Tibet. (AP Photo/Ashwini Bhatia)
Lobsang Sangay
Gaza's Hamas Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh, right, and Egyptian Prime Minister Hesham Kandil, left, wave to the crowd as they meet in Gaza City, Friday, Nov. 16, 2012. (AP Photo/Adel Hana)
Ismail Haniyeh
On Sunday, Mark Rozin, 47, Daniil Rozin, 11, Lev Rozin, 24, Anatoly Rozin, 78, Geda Zimanenko, 100, Luiza Rozina, 78, Maya Rozina, 8 pose in their Moscow apartment. The four generations of Zimanenko- Rozin's family embody the history of Jews in Russia over the past century, from the restrictions of czarist times to the revival of Jewish culture in Russia today. (AP Photo/Sergey Ponomarev)
Russian Jew resurgence
President Barack Obama is hugged by New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo upon his arrival at JFK International Airport in New York, Nov. 15, 2012, en route to visit areas devastated by superstorm Sandy. From left are Housing and Urban Development Secretary Shaun Donovan, Homeland Security Janet Napolitano, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand, D-N.Y., and Sen. Charles Schumer, D-N.Y. (AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster)
Barack Obama
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1 of 20
Previous
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Gladwell, Franco, Patti Smith: These books changed me
Was I right? Six new TV series reassessed
Salon's Sexiest Men of 2012
Cinema's 11 most memorable LGBT villains
The Week in Pictures
The Week in Pictures
Sandy, the day after
Transit in trauma
Sandy's shocking aftermath
The best storms in cinematic history
Chris Christie reports in casual-wear
Lou Reed's been terrible for years!
The Week in Pictures
Susan Isaacs loves a rogue: Here are her nine favorites
The Week in Pictures
The young boss: Bruce Springsteen in photos, 1977-79
The Week in Pictures
Paul Ryan, pumping iron
Chris Ware: "Everything makes me feel alone"
The Week in Pictures
Today's news in pictures
More Related Stories
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You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href=""> <b> <em> • <i> •
PreviewCancel
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
follow salon
Mayim Bialik Divorcing After 9 Years Of Marriage
Douglas M. Johnston, Ph.D.: Righting The Wrongs Of Blasphemy Laws
Tara Marino: Mental Clutter: This Dirty Little Habit Fixes The Problem
9-Year-Old Girl Football Phenom Gets Wheaties Box
Maureen Ryan: The 'Liz & Dick' Drinking Game (Trust Us, You'll Need It)
Mike Kravinsky: My Own Second Act
Laurence Leamer: A Great Thanksgiving
Teresa Plaskett: The Gray Elephant in the Room
Arianna Huffington: 'Tis the Season to Be Stressed: A Survival Guide
Barbara Hannah Grufferman: Ode to Beethoven: Why We Love Him More Than Ever
14 Best Questions People Have Asked About Thanksgiving
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9 Stats About Black Friday That Will Blow Your Mind
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The Manager At A Trendy Restaurant Who Had To Cut Off Wasted Regulars
Recommendations
About | Advertising | Contact | Corrections | Help | Privacy | Terms of Service | TechTips
Market Minute
Watch Our Daily Updates on the Stock Market!
Current Stories
Obama on turkey pardon: Nate Silver completely nailed it"
News. The president cracks a joke about the New York Times blogger who predicted the Election Day results
Don't shop at Wal-Mart on Friday!
Politics. If you care a lick about America's work force, help push its largest employer to improve its employees' wages
Spike Lee remembers the good of Michael Jackson's "Bad"
Entertainment. It may shy away from the King of Pop's dark side, but this doc fascinates with glimpses into MJ's artistic process
My creepy dad emails too much
Life. He was a terrible father and I want him out of my life
Most Read
I got duped by Glenn Beck!
Watch "SNL's" Guy Fieri sketch that didn't air
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