when do docs get married

This forum made possible through the generous support of SDN members, donors, and sponsors. Thank you.
In2JG

In2JG

Full Member
10+ Year Member
Joined
Jul 10, 2009
Messages
18
Reaction score
0
Members don't see this ad.
hey everyone,

i'm new so i don't really know where to post for personal questions yet. so i'm doing pre-med right now...i know this question is kind of for the future. but for those of you who got married prior to med school..would you recommend it compared to marrying after med school, or even during med school? ok, im guessing you need a little background. im not gonna get too specific here but my parents and to-be inlaws (possibly?) want me to marry before residency. my mother said 25 is a prime year. my bf said before 30, because he's doing pharmacy and wants a couple of years to settle. so now we're all thinking after med-school before residency. now..
is this a good idea? i just want opinions please. im not asking for any details, just a general idea from experienced MD's or MD wannabes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------
love MD's!
 
Most people say 4th year is the easiest time to get married DURING med school... you'll be starting residency almost immediately after graduation, so that would probably be the most feasible.
 
yeah that's what i was thinking, and that's most probably what's gonna happen. i have 2 goals in my life right now. 1. be a general doctor, at least. 2. get married to bf of 3 yrs b4 im 30. i have a 3.6 gpa right now, gen chem II kinda screwed me over but i have a feeling it'll all be alright.
also, when u say u'll be starting residency right after med-school graduation, isn't there a month's break at least? man. this will probably be the most rushed wedding ever...lol
God help us all!
 
I have no personal experience on this (love my single life, never gonna part with it), but a couple of friends are marrying during school, one after 1st year and one after 2nd, so it's certainly feasible. In the case of my friends, one married a 4th year student, and he plans to stick around for residency so they can be in the same place (obviously), so you want to plan for those kinda things. It's probably easier if you live in a city that has job options for both people.
 
hey sunset,

ur def right. i mean if the summer breaks between the years of med school are longer than the one before residency (which ppl say is only 1 month but depending on location)..
hows the workload in the summer of med school? any1 know?
 
In2JG said:
hey sunset,

ur def right. i mean if the summer breaks between the years of med school are longer than the one before residency (which ppl say is only 1 month but depending on location)..
hows the workload in the summer of med school? any1 know?
Click to expand...

summer after M1 is entirely yours, to do whatever you want;
summer after M2 you are taking your boards, and then start rotations, but you may have some leeway to start rotations a little later or take your break (~2 weeks) early in that fall
I don't think M3 has any summer; and then after M4 it's obviously only the time until residency starts (though from what I've heard there's not much to do after you found out where you matched)
 
I was planning on marriage probably after residency. You'll be in your early 30s (30-32) so its not too late and its plenty of time to have children before age really becomes a factor. But, if you're serious about marriage, you'll have some rest after your first and second years, moreso the first than the second when you're taking boards and beginning rotations.
 
Don't get married!! They just want your money!!
 
Smart people dont get married. Why on earth would you want to make it so difficult on yourself to protect your earnings, and get rid of the crazy person that took over your once perfectly normal gf/bf
 
sizillyd said:
Don't get married!! They just want your money!!
Click to expand...
TAX DEDUCATIONS, think of the tax deductions! And prenup and also, never having to try and care about what women have to say in conversations just to get them in bed.
pdeco1 said:
Smart people dont get married. Why on earth would you want to make it so difficult on yourself to protect your earnings, and get rid of the crazy person that took over your once perfectly normal gf/bf
Click to expand...
Naivety is not becoming of you, my friend.
 
Most of the med students I know who got married did it during the summer between their M1-M2 year or between M4-residency.

Residency usually starts the first week of July, and med school usually ends either in May or June depending on if your school is on a semester or trimester or whatever else system.
 
For people who got married in med school or know people who did: How did your/their spouses manage if you had to relocate for residency? Or for your employment after residency and/or fellowship?
 
tax deductions? lmaoo..thats pretty funny..i get to make money because im hitched! lol..after residency is a huge no-no for mom in law to be lol...she literally said a woman is in her prime fertililty in her teens but since that is a big no-no and getting married in early 20's is also a big no no..i know indian culture sux lol..late 20's will have to do..guess it'll have to happen during one of the grand summers sunset described..M1 sounds good and pre-residency does also..
as for pdeco1..i have no idea what ur talking about..do appreciate the not of humor in the post tho.. lol, my bf is the last person to change in any way shape or form..he is a normal lump of being lol..
i can't wait! lol.
 
SB100 said:
For people who got married in med school or know people who did: How did your/their spouses manage if you had to relocate for residency? Or for your employment after residency and/or fellowship?
Click to expand...

real good question..im supposing trust is very important there and hardships are bound to happen in marriage. the spouse should understand all the hardships their spouse will go through in residency, including location changes and should adjust their attitude accordingly! this is also why i have tried to get my networks going on...trying to get doc recommendations and such so i can work in their hospital in an area where we would both like to live within a 30 minute commute.
 
I'm not getting married cuz girls are dumb haha!
 
Seraph 84 said:
Lol, I'm straight. It would be too weird and my father would disown me. I guess I'll have to take the plunge because I don't want to live alone.....
Click to expand...

Oh oh oh! I forgot to add "man's best friend!" Dogs are super fun to be with if you aren't ready for a relationship yet. 😉
 
FuturaDocta said:
Oh oh oh! I forgot to add "man's best friend!" Dogs are super fun to be with if you aren't ready for a relationship yet. 😉
Click to expand...

I'm a cat person myself, but will probably get both when I get married, have kids, and buy a Jeep.
 
pdeco1 said:
Smart people dont get married. Why on earth would you want to make it so difficult on yourself to protect your earnings, and get rid of the crazy person that took over your once perfectly normal gf/bf
Click to expand...

I agree, more or less. I'd be willing to marry a totally independent doctor-lady, but that's about it.
 
Last edited:
In2JG said:
ur def right. i mean if the summer breaks between the years of med school are longer than the one before residency (which ppl say is only 1 month but depending on location)..
hows the workload in the summer of med school? any1 know?
Click to expand...

You really can't plan this as a pre-med. What you'll have to do is, as you get closer to 4th year and your wedding plans (if you still have any at that point) are more concrete, you'll have to plan your 4th year schedule AROUND your wedding. In other words, you shape your 4th year schedule based on your wedding plans, not vice versa.

How long your summer breaks are depends on your med school.

Summer after MS1 is usually around 2 months long; most people spend it traveling or doing research. Some have used it to get married. If you failed anything during MS1, you'll have to use this summer to remediate.

Summer after MS2 is also around 2 months long, but you need it for Step 1 prep.

Summer after MS3 was non-existent. For us it was 2 weeks long.

Now, for your 4th year, you're usually given around 2-3 MONTHS of vacation time (each 4th year rotation is usually a month long). The issue with vacation though, is that a lot of people use vacation for Step 2 study time, for residency interviews, or just for regular vacation. It can be really difficult to take off for residency interviews during rotations (some students have come close to failing for missing too many days), so it makes sense to use vacation for those interview-heavy months instead.

I would not bank on residency starting on July 1st. Some places start earlier, and some places have a mandatory orientation that can start in early-mid June.
 
I'll be going into it married with children...my suggestion is a wedding is a wedding. its not the marriage. the marriage is a LIFELONG thing, the wedding is one day. don't plan your life around the wedding. Plus i don't know about getting married right before residency. I would assume that would be a high stress time and the act of getting married is about the same stress as dropping 30,000 feet in the air suddenly...for weeks.

plus you sound unsure of it even happening anyway. There is no PRIME age to get married. YOU get married when YOU and the person you will marry are ready. those are the only two people who really should have the say in the matter.
 
ShNaMasta said:
my suggestion is a wedding is a wedding. its not the marriage. the marriage is a LIFELONG thing, the wedding is one day. don't plan your life around the wedding.

plus you sound unsure of it even happening anyway. There is no PRIME age to get married. YOU get married when YOU and the person you will marry are ready. those are the only two people who really should have the say in the matter.
Click to expand...

I agree.
 
I'm becoming increasingly worried that I'll be one of those 40-yr old docs that are married to their career. I guess it isn't that bad if you really enjoy what you're doing...but I kinda really want kids one day :-(
 
ensuii said:
I'm becoming increasingly worried that I'll be one of those 40-yr old docs that are married to their career. I guess it isn't that bad if you really enjoy what you're doing...but I kinda really want kids one day :-(
Click to expand...

Adopt. And don't change their last name. Then they can shadow you and get a letter from you, and carry on your legacy! Woo
 
thanks a lot..im just gonna take it how it comes, just do it whenever we're ready and shape my life around it and med school.. great advice lol😛

also im gonna make sure that whenever it is..its gonna be before im 40 because i def want kids, if i cant have any due to bodily issues, ill def adopt. but i adore kids..which is kinda why i wanna become a pediatrician! lol

thanks guys! good luck with everything!
 
In2JG said:
also im gonna make sure that whenever it is..its gonna be before im 40 because i def want kids, if i cant have any due to bodily issues, ill def adopt. but i adore kids..which is kinda why i wanna become a pediatrician!
Click to expand...

So you can steal babies, too? :laugh:
 
.
 
Last edited:
I think it depends on when you enter med school. If you can get to med school at 21, you'll be an attending by 30 and you'll be in a very good position to marry then. But if at 30 you are still only finishing up medical school, I would still wait at least until the middle of the residency. You need to have some positive cashflows... This is why I want to go into EM. The residency is short and even during residency you can moonlight.
 
stud247 said:
I think it depends on when you enter med school. If you can get to med school at 21, you'll be an attending by 30 and you'll be in a very good position to marry then. But if at 30 you are still only finishing up medical school, I would still wait at least until the middle of the residency. You need to have some positive cashflows... This is why I want to go into EM. The residency is short and even during residency you can moonlight.
Click to expand...

You can moonlight during any residency, not just EM. IM, FM, even psych and surgical specialties allow you to moonlight. It's just harder for surgery, because of the work-hour regulations.
 
Ok so what's a moonlight again? Sorry, this is the first time I'm hearing this word.

Also how are winter breaks in Med Schools?
 
Flawless said:
Ok so what's a moonlight again? Sorry, this is the first time I'm hearing this word.

Also how are winter breaks in Med Schools?
Click to expand...

Have you ever heard the phrase "moonlighting gig?" It's usually a small side job that you do after you finish your day job, to make a little extra money. Common moonlighting jobs include bartending, waitressing, being a receptionist, being a stripper/escort, etc. You get paid per hour, usually (although I guess in some instances you'd get paid per customer).

"Moonlighting" in medicine is just like moonlighting for anyone else, except you stay in the field of medicine. Common jobs include doing routine health insurance physicals (a somewhat boring job that usually happens on Saturday mornings - which is why you pay people to do it), covering the ER, just being in the hospital in case of an emergency, etc. Like regular moonlighting, you usually get paid per hour.

Winter breaks in med school are similar to winter breaks in college. I believe ours went from mid-December to right after New Year's. In 1st and 2nd year, we got a week for spring break, in 3rd and 4th year you don't get spring break. Every school's a little different, though.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

2026PreMed
What do people mean when they tell you to do "research" ?
Replies
12
Views
1K
2026PreMed
2026PreMed
T
When do I ask for LORs?
Replies
5
Views
1K
CBass2288
CBass2288
B
When to do a post-bacc or SMP or Masters?
Replies
4
Views
1K
JevonKling
J
T
Married & Applying - "Why This School" Advice
Replies
3
Views
614
LunaOri
LunaOri
C
What to do if I don’t get in this cycle
Replies
18
Views
2K
chilly_md
chilly_md
Top