When to marry your SO?

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Um... we need more details homie.

How old are you and her?

What's your income/her income?

Education/academic background?

How long y'all been together?

Did you knock her up and now ur stuck with her?

Is it gonna be open bar at the wedding?

These are important things to know and have squared away.
 
This is something i've been debating. But im in a different boat probably in that we've been together for 3 years now and both got accepted to the same DO school and will be starting in 17 days... so by the time we're done we'll have been together (hopefully) for 7 years. It's weird to think that at the end of medical school, the majority of our relationship will have been us as students together. But, we definitely can't afford right now on student loans to have an actual wedding...
 
My opinion, but when you both decide to get married. . . get married within the next 6-12 months. Plan on living together in the near future after the wedding.

I think the perpetual engagement causes relational weirdness. But I'm a millennial who is a dinosaur.
 
Do it during a summer or between grad and residency. In all seriousness screw the laviah wedding. It's useless unnecessary and expensive stress where everyone says it's YOUR wedding but everyone gets butt hurt when you didn't consider THEIR feeling when making decisions. Seriously, court house and use all the other money to go on a fantastic honeymoon. I CANNOT recommend this enough.

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KeikoTanaka said:
This is something i've been debating. But im in a different boat probably in that we've been together for 3 years now and both got accepted to the same DO school and will be starting in 17 days... so by the time we're done we'll have been together (hopefully) for 7 years. It's weird to think that at the end of medical school, the majority of our relationship will have been us as students together. But, we definitely can't afford right now on student loans to have an actual wedding...
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If neither of you joins the military you’ll have plenty of flexibility in the road ahead... don’t rush it.
 
Never? Ha.

I've been with my partner 4 years and no plans for marriage. We bought a house together and are committed to each other but marriage isn't a priority to us.

Get married if and when you want or never.
 
It's lupus! said:
Do it during a summer or between grad and residency. In all seriousness screw the laviah wedding. It's useless unnecessary and expensive stress where everyone says it's YOUR wedding but everyone gets butt hurt when you didn't consider THEIR feeling when making decisions. Seriously, court house and use all the other money to go on a fantastic honeymoon. I CANNOT recommend this enough.

Sent from my Pixel XL using SDN mobile
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This. If you can't pay cash for it, at least reconsider. We did a lot more than the courthouse but it was definitely not a 20k wedding and we were 100x happier than we would have been had we gone into more debt for the wedding.

Also, if neither of you is really REALLY wanting to get married soon, I would consider delaying it until school is over. You'll have enough going on to keep you both busy, so think of yourselves and only yourselves when it comes to this decision.
 
AMEHigh said:
Never? Ha.

I've been with my partner 4 years and no plans for marriage. We bought a house together and are committed to each other but marriage isn't a priority to us.

Get married if and when you want or never.
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Props to y'all.

Just a few questions..

God forbid something happens and y'all split... who does the house go to? Do y'all share bank accounts or anything?

I'm trying to find a chick to buy the fact that a $3000 wedding ring is a stupid purchase and there's more to a marriage than ******* rings for you to post on social media..

I pretty much envy your situation.
 
Robin-jay said:
As another poster said - Prenup.

Not joking.

Dunno why people don't always get prenups.
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Well apparently... Prenups are pretty much meaningless in court and can be overturned and are done so regularly.

But I'ma still vie for one if I ever find the need to.
 
QueenJames said:
Well apparently... Prenups are pretty much meaningless in court and can be overturned and are done so regularly.

But I'ma still vie for one if I ever find the need to.
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Wait what. Is this really true?

Link me.
 
QueenJames said:
Props to y'all.

Just a few questions..

God forbid something happens and y'all split... who does the house go to? Do y'all share bank accounts or anything?
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You are in a general partnership (usually) without a written contract. It is a bad idea. With marriage there is divorce as a legal means to separate assets. Imagine not being able to buying a new house with your new spouse because you own a house with your ex you cannot sell because your ex is being a jerk, if the house became underwater, or have your credit trashed because your ex didn't pay their part of the bill.

It is a bad idea that sometimes doesn't turn out terrible.

I could go on and point out that cohabitation is bad financially and relationally, not just morally, but that is another discussion.
 
I’m doing summer after second year after boards. That way we get time to chill and have no responsibilities before rotations. We started planning early so we have almost everything big done a year or so out so she won’t feel super overwhelmed while I’m in my study cave for the dreaded steps
 
QueenJames said:
Props to y'all.

Just a few questions..

God forbid something happens and y'all split... who does the house go to? Do y'all share bank accounts or anything?

I'm trying to find a chick to buy the fact that a $3000 wedding ring is a stupid purchase and there's more to a marriage than ******* rings for you to post on social media..

I pretty much envy your situation.
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Come on man don’t be a cheap ass


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realDrSeuss said:
just been thinking about when a good time for a wedding would be and I am curious what you guys think/have already done. Thanks all !
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I have a friend getting married this coming summer, literally the same week as their Step/COMLEX. So like... yeah, don’t do that.
 
RamsFan&FutureDO said:
Come on man don’t be a cheap ass


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I'm just sayin' Rams... If she's a doc, she can afford her own $3000 ring. I'll buy her experiences... It's not about the cost, but the meaning behind it you know?

My last few exes were the same broads who boasted about "tiffany diamond ring this" and "kardashian that".

They grew to be very demanding and very ... For lack of a better term... Bitchy.

I don't need that **** in my life man.

I'm not gonna place her happiness in material bull**** that is only important for her to put on social media so that people she doesn't even talk to can give her half-assed complements.

First, it's the $3000 diamond ring... Then it's the Range Rover... Then it's the 8,000 sq. foot house... Then it's me working my ass off to afford the mortgage on said 8,000 sq. foot house.. Then it's her leaving me or divorcing me or screwing her yoga teacher or tennis instructor because "he just doesn't pay attention to me anymore and it feels like we just aren't US anymore".

Screwwwww that.

Momma ain't raise no fool.
 
QueenJames said:
I'm just sayin' Rams... If she's a doc, she can afford her own $3000 ring. I'll buy her experiences... It's not about the cost, but the meaning behind it you know?

My last few exes were the same broads who boasted about "tiffany diamond ring this" and "kardashian that".

They grew to be very demanding and very ... For lack of a better term... Bitchy.

I don't need that **** in my life man.

I'm not gonna place her happiness in material bull**** that is only important for her to put on social media so that people she doesn't even talk to can give her half-assed complements.

First, it's the $3000 diamond ring... Then it's the Range Rover... Then it's the 8,000 sq. foot house... Then it's me working my ass off to afford the mortgage on said 8,000 sq. foot house.. Then it's her leaving me or divorcing me or screwing her yoga teacher or tennis instructor because "he just doesn't pay attention to me anymore and it feels like we just aren't US anymore".

Screwwwww that.

Momma ain't raise no fool.
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Why I’m tired of dating. People obsessed with social media and there desire to have their ego boosted with thousands of followers and randoms approval. Dating is not enjoyable these days.
 
QueenJames said:
I'm just sayin' Rams... If she's a doc, she can afford her own $3000 ring. I'll buy her experiences... It's not about the cost, but the meaning behind it you know?

My last few exes were the same broads who boasted about "tiffany diamond ring this" and "kardashian that".

They grew to be very demanding and very ... For lack of a better term... Bitchy.

I don't need that **** in my life man.

I'm not gonna place her happiness in material bull**** that is only important for her to put on social media so that people she doesn't even talk to can give her half-assed complements.

First, it's the $3000 diamond ring... Then it's the Range Rover... Then it's the 8,000 sq. foot house... Then it's me working my ass off to afford the mortgage on said 8,000 sq. foot house.. Then it's her leaving me or divorcing me or screwing her yoga teacher or tennis instructor because "he just doesn't pay attention to me anymore and it feels like we just aren't US anymore".

Screwwwww that.

Momma ain't raise no fool.
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Sounds like you’ve just been going after the wrong girls brotha. If you’re continuously with materialistic women and don’t like that then go for different girls. Nothing wrong with a nice wedding ring when it’s the right girl and you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot with the attitude that the girl can just buy her own ring.


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RamsFan&FutureDO said:
Sounds like you’ve just been going after the wrong girls brotha. If you’re continuously with materialistic women and don’t like that then go for different girls. Nothing wrong with a nice wedding ring when it’s the right girl and you’re gonna shoot yourself in the foot with the attitude that the girl can just buy her own ring.


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At this point I'm tired rams.

I'm keeping my eyes peeled during rotations though 😉
 
rg2o3 said:
Why I’m tired of dating. People obsessed with social media and there desire to have their ego boosted with thousands of followers and randoms approval. Dating is not enjoyable these days.
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That's cause you messin' with too many goofies baby gurrrl!

Gotta mess with Mickey.. ya feelsss meee?

but for real.

The biggest turn off to me is when a chick is ALWAYS on her phone just on IG when I'm trying to have a convo with you.

It just screams disrespect.

You don't need to snapchat our coffee date.. our lunch... nobody gives af sweetheart.

It just screams "Attention *****" and "insecure".
 
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Got married the weekend before my anatomy final. Worth it.
 
Out of all of the neurotic things I’ve seen on here, this may take the cake.
 
QueenJames said:
First, it's the $3000 diamond ring... Then it's the Range Rover... Then it's the 8,000 sq. foot house... Then it's me working my ass off to afford the mortgage on said 8,000 sq. foot house.. Then it's her leaving me or divorcing me or screwing her yoga teacher or tennis instructor because "he just doesn't pay attention to me anymore and it feels like we just aren't US anymore".
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Guessing you've never shopped for diamond rings - You're missing a digit. 😎
 
It's lupus! said:
Don't they also include protections for future investments such as retirement? Agreements to not have access to such funds.

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If you already have those accounts. Not sure you can obtain an enforceable prenup that prevents access to assets acquired during the marriage (with the exception of inheritances perhaps).
 
realDrSeuss said:
just been thinking about when a good time for a wedding would be and I am curious what you guys think/have already done. Thanks all !
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dpmd said:
I think i am one of the few who interpreted the op as a logistical question (as in when is the least likely to cause scheduling issues).
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Yeah - It probably was a logistical question -- And the answer is:
  • If you want to go all 'princess for a day fantasy' wedding (and plan it yourself), then having the wedding at the end of fourth year makes the most sense.
  • If you're wanting to/willing to turn the planning over to the mothers, then you've got a lot more flexibility.
  • If you've got the perspective that it's not the wedding (the party) that's important but rather the marriage that matters, then you can organize it in an afternoon and do it any time. (My second was organized in about 2 hours, 3 weeks in advance.)
Wedding fantasies cause enormous stress, so if you want that kind of a wedding, be prepared. It'll cost you --
 
realDrSeuss said:
just been thinking about when a good time for a wedding would be and I am curious what you guys think/have already done. Thanks all !
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Hey OP I just got married in May, 3 weeks after the end of first year. If not then, I think the next window we would have considered would be winter break of 4th year or after graduation. But we were ready so we got married summer between M1 and M2. A ton of my classmates got engaged the summer before medical school started (like we did), and throughout first year. 1 of them got married the same exact day I did, others have no date, others are getting married winter break of M2, and others are getting married somehow in June after M2 between step 1 and starting rotations.
 
QueenJames said:
Nah. I shop at Costco anyway.

They got rings that cost $1,000. Which is wayyyy more reasonable.
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Yeah. I actually have shopped for rings and thank God I don't have to deal with issues with diamond size and all things material and irrelevant to our relationship. I spent 1800 for the ring. Nbd, she thought it was pretty and so did my bank account which could afford us other more appreciable things

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sunshinefl said:
Lol this is what I thought of too. He kept posting about a $3000 ring like that was extreme, and I was laughing because that is very reasonable.
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But why does the PRICE matter?

It could be a $300 ring from goddamn online... but if it something I love and I can find meaning out of that suits my partner... is that not up to me?

Why are some men and women so damn shallow?

The only reason some girls want a pricy ring is for bragging rights to show their miserable "girlfriends" and social media how "loved" and "#blessed" they are?

I don't need that type of love lol

To be fair, if my girl got me a ring more than a couple hundred bucks, I would tell her to go return it.

Diamonds do not appreciate in value.

$30,000 is a down payment on a small cheap house where I am at. That is somebody's entirely yearly income.

Lol

You gotta be trippin'!
 
QueenJames said:
But why does the PRICE matter?

It could be a $300 ring from goddamn online... but if it something I love and I can find meaning out of that suits my partner... is that not up to me?

Why are some men and women so damn shallow?

The only reason some girls want a pricy ring is for bragging rights to show their miserable "girlfriends" and social media how "loved" and "#blessed" they are?

I don't need that type of love lol
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Suits your partner is fine.

I wanted a pretty ring (rings now that I have the wedding band too) for myself. Ring beauty and ring meaning aren’t mutually exclusive. I love my husband and I’m so psyched I get to be married to him. But I’m also psyched I get to look at a pretty diamond ring 24/7, one that also symbolizes our marriage. Win win.
 
sunshinefl said:
Suits your partner is fine.

I wanted a pretty ring (rings now that I have the wedding band too) for myself. Ring beauty and ring meaning aren’t mutually exclusive. I love my husband and I’m so psyched I get to be married to him. But I’m also psyched I get to look at a pretty diamond ring 24/7, one that also symbolizes our marriage. Win win.
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Which is dope and congrats...

but what if you found out your diamond ring was <$1000... or only a couple hundred bucks...? would you care?
 
QueenJames said:
Which is dope and congrats...

but what if you found out your diamond ring was <$1000... or only a couple hundred bucks...? would you care?
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Hmm... the price doesn’t matter in itself, it’s what the money can buy I guess. If you follow.

But in our case he gave me a budget, then I picked the setting, then I narrowed down the loose diamonds to 10, and he picked 1 from the finalists and got it set.
 
sunshinefl said:
Hmm... the price doesn’t matter in itself, it’s what the money can buy I guess. If you follow.

But in our case he gave me a budget, then I picked the setting, then I narrowed down the loose diamonds to 10, and he picked 1 from the finalists and got it set.
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I like that idea.

Y'all smart!
 
I think it’s crazy to spend a ton of money on a wedding when it’s only one day compared to your home, honeymoon, children. Same with a ring, if they get lost that’s a pretty penny in the garbáge
 
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