Hi, I'm Bill Jet with the FBI. I understand you have a troll invading your site.
From my extensive experience profiling Site Trolls, and from the individual's posts, I can tell you he is male, short in stature, probably 5'5" or less, weight 130 lbs or less, has had multiple rejections from women, plays video games incessantly in his spare time, has a recurrent urge to act egotistical, albeit in a clandestine fashion. He is an intellect, but a loner. He lives in an on-campus dorm and drives a 1978 Ford Pinto, probably white with beige interior with obvious rust. He eats TV dinners most nights by himself, and never misses American Idol, Scrubs, ER, and Stacked with Pamela Anderson. He showers twice a week whether he needs it or not, and is the ultimate kiss-ass to upper levels and staff on rounds.
He bought a lab-coat during his sophomore year in college, and had it brazened GERN BLANSTON MD
General Surgery
, frequently parading around local Shop n Gos in impersonation.
I'll put out an APB to all Shop n Gos, and notify federal authorities to be on the lookout for the described Pinto.