Why do some schools ask about your families and siblings in interviews?

[mac_kin]

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[startswithb]

I was asked about my family at my state school, and it is awkward for me to explain about my younger brother, when people ask "where does he go to school?" "Umm..he isn't very academically motivated...err..school isn't his passion...well, he's delivering pizzas."

 

[armybound]

I can't believe this is really even a discussion.

They ask because they want to find out more about who you are and where you come from.

If you have a sibling who didn't do much, tell them. Your admission is not hinging on whether or not your brother was a straight-A student.

 

[Geekchick921]

I can't believe this is really even a discussion.

They ask because they want to find out more about who you are and where you come from.

If you have a sibling who didn't do much, tell them. Your admission is not hinging on whether or not your brother was a straight-A student.

Seriously.

 

[vagueus]

They don't care. And if your family isn't the higher-education type, it actually looks more diverse (read: better), in a "first-generation college student" kind of way.

What they're looking for is how you carry yourself, your self-assurance - it's just an easy, softball question that lets them start a conversation with you. Nothing to stress about.

That said, "My sister's on a break from college" is one thing. "My sister has a lot of troubles.. dead-beat boyfriend, lots of health issues - I let her stay at my place when she needs it." = "I will probably have major family issues while at your school and need time off, because I can't separate my family life from my professional one."

Unfair. And not every interviewer will agree. But why risk it?

I would say, though, that if you have a close family member in rehab or jail, you should be able to feel perfectly ethical in glossing over that with a white-lie. Some things do sound bad, unfair as it is. (For example, saying something like "Oh, he's off traveling - we don't hear from him much.")

 

[mac_kin]

'

 

[4ksibe]

It is an interesting discussion because I bet if you had a deadbeat family and you owned up to that, your application would lose a point or two.

I can picture a Harvard 50 year old interviewer deciding between 2 comparable applications (1 a family of well-educated folks, 1 with a jailed sibling and alcoholic mother).

You people really think it would make not one ounce of difference?

i doont think its a prestigious school thing. I was asked this at many interviews including harvard but i think its because they wanted to see whether my family goal was attained (moving to the US for better education). Only at one school not a top 30 or anything was the interviewer tried to make me say my sibling dropped out to get a job and more money... and thats y i wanted medicine ..for the money It was a horrible discussion

 

[Geekchick921]

It is an interesting discussion because I bet if you had a deadbeat family and you owned up to that, your application would lose a point or two.

I can picture a Harvard 50 year old interviewer deciding between 2 comparable applications (1 a family of well-educated folks, 1 with a jailed sibling and alcoholic mother).

You people really think it would make not one ounce of difference?

Well, let's glaze right past your exaggerated example of a family of jailbirds and addicts and consider something a bit more run-of-the-mill, like a kid from a lower-middle to middle-class family whose parents are blue-collar workers or at least do not hold advanced degrees. Maybe the have a sister that got knocked up young and hasn't finished college yet, to boot.

Now... I think it depends on the school. If it's a place like Harvard, or a school that seems focused on "legacy" students, then it might hurt you. If it's a place that claims to take pride in a diverse student body or that it has a history of taking first generation physicians, then it might play in your favor.

 

[LizzyM]

Schools are interested in how students relate to people of all types and who have some insight into the issues of the kinds of people who will be their patients. If you have family members who are working blue collar jobs or who have had problems with the law, then you may have a perspective that is different from someone who has never known anyone who didn't go through college and professional school and on to a successful career. You may have a better understanding of how to communicate with someone who is not well educated or who is unfamiliar with medical jargon. (It is easy for some of us to assume that some of the fancy words we hear at the dinner table are common knowledge until someone comes along and tells us different).

The term "bootstrap" comes up often with some adcom members and someone who comes from a family that has not earned numerous degrees might be judged as particularly hardworking and resourceful to have been successful with the hand dealt.

Furthermore, every school is looking for "diversity" and that includes attracting students who bring different life experiences to the table. Parents who are physicians or lawyers or business executives are plentiful and not a hinderence but it is good to see applicants who have parents who work in farming/ranching/beekeeping, small businesses, the military and other government service and so forth as it brings different perspectives and different funds of knowledge to the table when working in small groups.

 

[PddppfCl2]

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[calbears08]

i doont think its a prestigious school thing. I was asked this at many interviews including harvard but i think its because they wanted to see whether my family goal was attained (moving to the US for better education). Only at one school not a top 30 or anything was the interviewer tried to make me say my sibling dropped out to get a job and more money... and thats y i wanted medicine ..for the money It was a horrible discussion

I can't believe someone would jump to that conclusion. I would walk out of that interview.

I've been asked about my family at almost every interview and it has only been a positive. If you come from a less than ideal environment, it says much about your character that you're a few steps from medical school. My interviewer at Harvard said the same thing.

 

[Kaustikos]

They really want to know if you have any single siblings to which they'll ask for their digits.

 

[Lindlar]

I can't believe this is really even a discussion.

They ask because they want to find out more about who you are and where you come from.

If you have a sibling who didn't do much, tell them. Your admission is not hinging on whether or not your brother was a straight-A student.

This really should have been /thread.

One of the most essential looked for in med school applicants is if they can easily talk with others. It's a key skill dealing with patients. They're asking about your family because it is a nice, safe subject that the applicant should find easy to talk about.

The only way to answer that question wrong is to be incredibly awkward while you stumble through an explanation for your sister's inadequacies.

 

[nolookpass]

What if you come from an unstable household? Would someone go on to tell them about that?

 

[DrYoda]

It is an interesting discussion because I bet if you had a deadbeat family and you owned up to that, your application would lose a point or two.

I can picture a Harvard 50 year old interviewer deciding between 2 comparable applications (1 a family of well-educated folks, 1 with a jailed sibling and alcoholic mother).

You people really think it would make not one ounce of difference?

Why are you so dead set on this being a bad thing? Med schools love training doctors who grew up in the hood/trailer park and overcame just as much as they like training influential people's kids. I would say plus for either extreme and neutral for being from a middle of the pack plain family.

 

[Kaustikos]

What if you come from an unstable household? Would someone go on to tell them about that?

Then it'd go something like this -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qdargc6-dE[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qdargc6-dE[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Doubtnichts]

This would be interesting in my interview (Knock on wood 😛) 😀 I don't know my father have two siblings with kids of their own. I doubt our dad even knows he's a grandfather. But I'm hugely grateful for what my mother has done to make my life as good as it is...so say something like that. Every family has issues, but there are good aspects too. Concentrate on those and be proud of those!

 

[LizzyM]

This really should have been /thread.

One of the most essential looked for in med school applicants is if they can easily talk with others. It's a key skill dealing with patients. They're asking about your family because it is a nice, safe subject that the applicant should find easy to talk about.The only way to answer that question wrong is to be incredibly awkward while you stumble through an explanation for your sister's inadequacies.

A dangerous assumption! Catastrophic injuries including those that occur at birth, neurological and psychiatric illnesses, and many other situations could make talking about family to be anything but safe. Knowing how to spin a sad story and not breaking down would be key in those instances.

 

[4ksibe]

I can't believe someone would jump to that conclusion. I would walk out of that interview.

I've been asked about my family at almost every interview and it has only been a positive. If you come from a less than ideal environment, it says much about your character that you're a few steps from medical school. My interviewer at Harvard said the same thing.

very true got the same vibe there...but the one i talked about she really made me feel like "BS i dont care bout what you think i wanna get out of here" she even went ahead and told me that my other brother was also in the healthcare business for the money wtf??? (He is doing a master in biomedical engineering) but im so proud of me for not crying and still stayed polite and everything but that was by far the single worst interview of my season

 

[Lindlar]

What if you come from an unstable household? Would someone go on to tell them about that?

Of course. Stick to the facts. Don't go blabbering on about your feelings about how the divorce affected you and such. Imagine you are talking to an acquaintance.

So what's your family like?
"I think I have kind of an unusual family. My parents split up when I was such and such age and weren't on very good terms, and my brother found it tough to deal with so he moved away."
You don't need to embellish the positive or the negative, just tell them the truth.

Just imagine that you have asked someone else about their family. You wouldn't want to necessarily get their life story, or hear a slew of sad stories, or even hear them go on and on about the positives. Just treat it like a conversation like any other.

 

[Lindlar]

A dangerous assumption! Catastrophic injuries including those that occur at birth, neurological and psychiatric illnesses, and many other situations could make talking about family to be anything but safe. Knowing how to spin a sad story and not breaking down would be key in those instances.

Did they ask him to spin a story? No.
They asked about his family in a manner that suggested they just wanted to get to know him.
Honestly you're the one jumping to silly conclusions.

What would spinning his story based on a simple question about his family suggest about his character? That he's manipulative, and is obvious about it? That he fails at simple social interaction?

 

[Musclemass]

This really should have been /thread.

One of the most essential looked for in med school applicants is if they can easily talk with others. It's a key skill dealing with patients. They're asking about your family because it is a nice, safe subject that the applicant should find easy to talk about.

The only way to answer that question wrong is to be incredibly awkward while you stumble through an explanation for your sister's inadequacies.

+1. The family questions are asked to get an interviewee talking. It's a subject everyone (in theory) can talk about. What you say is less important than how you say it. Having a sibling who is lost in life is really of no importance or concern to anyone. They're looking for personality, affability, how you express yourself, etc.

I'm going to disagree slightly with LizzyM. I agree with what she's saying about what gets considered but an interview discussion is not where stuff like this should come up. If there's something interesting, different, or diversity-enhancing about your background, you should have worked it into your essays. Holding stuff like that back in the hopes of getting posed the right question in an interview would be a mistake. The essays are your opportunity to tell the schools what factors about you and your background make you a desirable applicant.

 

[Geekchick921]

I come from a lower-middle class, blue-collar family and my interviewers are normally very interested in this aspect of my application. They like to meet students from the different "rungs" of society.

You could also argue that, given equal accomplishments, someone from a meager background would look more resilient/mature than someone from a well-to-do upbringing. I don't personally subscribe to this belief, but I get the impression that many adcoms do.

I agree with you on all counts. My family was pretty main-stream middleclass, IMO. My mother is a nurse (RN, not a BSN) and my dad did not graduate college and does blue-collar stuff. At least at the school I was accepted to, they seemed interested in the fact that I was the first person in my immediate family to earn a bachelor's degree and pursue an advanced degree. Which, incidentally, would be my person example of a school that makes mention of it being a school of choice for "first generation physicians".

What if you come from an unstable household? Would someone go on to tell them about that?

Of course. Stick to the facts. Don't go blabbering on about your feelings about how the divorce affected you and such. Imagine you are talking to an acquaintance.

So what's your family like?
"I think I have kind of an unusual family. My parents split up when I was such and such age and weren't on very good terms, and my brother found it tough to deal with so he moved away."
You don't need to embellish the positive or the negative, just tell them the truth.

Just imagine that you have asked someone else about their family. You wouldn't want to necessarily get their life story, or hear a slew of sad stories, or even hear them go on and on about the positives. Just treat it like a conversation like any other.

Yeah, I agree with this. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that my parents are not together anymore. I certainly didn't go into the details about all the drama that went on with my dad and how my relationship with him is still strained.

 

[armybound]

Of course. Stick to the facts. Don't go blabbering on about your feelings about how the divorce affected you and such. Imagine you are talking to an acquaintance.

So what's your family like?
"I think I have kind of an unusual family. My parents split up when I was such and such age and weren't on very good terms, and my brother found it tough to deal with so he moved away."
You don't need to embellish the positive or the negative, just tell them the truth.

Just imagine that you have asked someone else about their family. You wouldn't want to necessarily get their life story, or hear a slew of sad stories, or even hear them go on and on about the positives. Just treat it like a conversation like any other.

this is really important, especially in a PS.

I had written a PS that mentioned my sort of rough childhood because I thought it was important in making me who I am. I spoke with an adcom as a reapplicant and she told me to remove anything from my PS that spoke negatively about anyone. Be positive at all times.

So when asked about my family situation, I'd explain my parents divorce and everything and how my father wasn't always around, but I'd do it from the standpoint of what I learned from it and how it made me more mature/stronger/etc.

 

[nolookpass]

So one would bring up their father being jailed or father cheating on hid wife in a positive light how?

 

[Kaustikos]

So one would bring up their father being jailed or father cheating on hid wife in a positive light how?

How about not bringing up the cheating? I mean, you can say that your mom and dad are seperated or they grew apart. Omission of certain facts isn't a bad thing. Like people are saying - treat it like a conversation.

 

[VikingLegacy]

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[Lindlar]

"Tell me about your family."

"Well, my dad is in jail, my mother lives on a diet consisting of beer and hot wings and walks around the trailer all day in a camo snuggie. As a child I was fed primarily with dog food. I had an older brother who died when his meth lab exploded. My younger brother is in jail for robbing a Wal*Mart with a compound hunting bow. I don't know about my cousins because none of the extended family can legally come within 500 feet of us or communicate with us at all."

".... ...."

"Well hey, did you want to know about me building houses in Mexico?"

Lol, well there's something to be said for tact.

 

[armybound]

So one would bring up their father being jailed or father cheating on hid wife in a positive light how?

Depends, how did it effect you? Did it help you realize your priorities and work harder in school? It surely impacted the way you interact with others and the relationships you make

 

[235009]

didn't read the whole thread (because the topic is pretty dumb) but just wanted to add...

i got the feeling form my interviews that interviewers were trying to find out whether you were applying to med school because it was expected of you by family members who are successful in their own lives...especially parents who are doctors. I remember being asked specifically at least a couple of times whether there were doctors in my family

 

[circulus vitios]

Just curious if you guys think this is ethical or not?

My family is a pretty typical family. But I'm wondering how would someone for instance explain a family or sibling who did not "achieve" much in life when speaking to a medical school?

I mean you can always lie I suppose, but if you were honest and your sister for instance dropped out of college halfway through and is working in a coffee shop and living with her boyfriend, how would Harvard take that, if that is what you told them?

I'm assuming some of the more "prestigious" schools want all their students to be the children of senators and surgeon general's, no? They want to maintain a prestigious group of rich, snobby brats who will carry on the tradition.

Does someone with deadbeat family have a chance at a prestigious school, if they are honest about their family?



It was shocking for me to see that this is a very common question at the prestigious schools like Harvard, Yale, Stanford.

Tell them the truth? It might give some disadvantaged bonus points if your parents are blue collar (like mine.)

 

[LizzyM]

Did they ask him to spin a story? No.
They asked about his family in a manner that suggested they just wanted to get to know him.
Honestly you're the one jumping to silly conclusions.

What would spinning his story based on a simple question about his family suggest about his character? That he's manipulative, and is obvious about it? That he fails at simple social interaction?

Everyone spins their story... spin is how you tell the story, the emphasis you put on items A and B and how you skip or gloss over items C and D.

There are some situations that are just too painful to be fodder for polite, low-stress chit-chat in an interview (the idea that the "tell me about your family" is a low-stress, warm-up question). "My sister is focused on raising her son who just turned 2 and I've really enjoyed spending time with them this year" is one way of working your sibling into the mix whereas, "My sister who is 18 dropped out of high school to have a baby; the baby's father is in jail now so I'm doing what I can to be supportive." is another way to tell the same story. The first is positive spin, the second is TMI.

You can breakdown and cry because your dad was sentence to the federal pen last year or you can say, "My parents aren't living together right now, my mom lives and works in NJ and my dad is living in Danbury, Connecticut." Anyone who is unemployed or incarcerated can always be said to be thinking about writing a novel. 😉

What I'm saying is that if you feel like your family has skeletons in the closet that are shameful to disclose, find a way to tell the story in such a way that you don't disclose very private information about members of your family while still being truthful.

 

[ILikeDrugs]

I'm just going to make up a family. I don't want to tell the story of moving out when I was 18 because I couldn't stand living with lying, stuck-up, racist, homophobic, bigoted, pretentious, holier than thou catholics. It'll be a very watered down version of that. I'm not sure how I'm going to water that down though. I'll have to think about that this summer after I take the MCAT.

 

[eli20]

I have no problem being asked about family/siblings, but I do find awkward significant other questions annoying.

 

[Dianyla]

I think questions about awkward family members tend to produce very revealing answers of the "showing one's ass" variety.

If a person can't discuss a deadbeat family member without expressing a modicum of love and compassion, this tells me far more about them as a person.

Plenty of our future patients will fall into the deadbeat category, however you personally define it. How are you going to feel about their life choices... Pity? Blame? Derision? Judgment? Shame?