Wife is Moving Out of Town

[YouMDbro101]

Situation sucks.

I matched in a program out west. I liked my interview experience so I ranked it high. I like the program even more now.

My wife’s company agreed to let her work remotely and now they’re gradually rescinding that offer. The problem is 1) they want her to gradually transition to one of a few bigger cities located along the coast 2) the job market in this town is small and she can’t find an alternative.

We’re career oriented and decided not to have children so clearly this is a big deal for her. It’s a big deal for me to because, while I don’t mind transferring, I also hate the idea of disappointing a program I like. There are a handful of programs at the cities she’s considering, all with open spots.

I’m not even sure how to go about requesting a transfer through the match. I’m also unsure about how to bring this up to my PD because she’s the first person I think I should talk to. Some advice would be appreciated

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[NotAProgDirector]

The easy part of your question to answer is "how to go about requesting a transfer through the match." You don't. The match commits you to start your program and stay for 45 days. You've already past that, so your match is done. You don't need any waiver or permission from the NRMP.

The best way to proceed is to talk with your PD. Explain the situation. You want to make 100% certain that your wife really needs to transfer -- would be a huge bummer to switch programs and then find out that she's actually being laid off (although if you're dependent on her income, perhaps being in a bigger city would be a good option even in that outcome). Your PD can help you with a transition, perhaps at the end of PGY-1, or perhaps sooner if needed.

 

[Frazier]

How many years is your program?

 

[calvnandhobbs68]

If you want to move with her, the only way you’re gonna do this is through your PD. A good PD will be understanding of this situation but it doesn’t really matter either way how they react because to transfer programs you’re still gonna need your PDs support (the program is gonna want info from them to make sure you’re not transferring because they hate you there or something)

Agree with making absolutely sure your wife’s company isn’t just screwing you guys over by backhandedly trying to lay her off.

 

[Merely]

Situation sucks.

I matched in a program out west. I liked my interview experience so I ranked it high. I like the program even more now.

My wife’s company agreed to let her work remotely and now they’re gradually rescinding that offer. The problem is 1) they want her to gradually transition to one of a few bigger cities located along the coast 2) the job market in this town is small and she can’t find an alternative.

We’re career oriented and decided not to have children so clearly this is a big deal for her. It’s a big deal for me to because, while I don’t mind transferring, I also hate the idea of disappointing a program I like. There are a handful of programs at the cities she’s considering, all with open spots.

I’m not even sure how to go about requesting a transfer through the match. I’m also unsure about how to bring this up to my PD because she’s the first person I think I should talk to. Some advice would be appreciated

You guys decided to not have kids at all so you can focus on your careers? That’s very interesting

 

[NITRAS]

How many years is your program?

Even three years is a long time to be apart. My wife has changed jobs three times in my medical career. She’s currently not as career focused, but those were decisions we made together. It’s just a job. There’s others out there.

You are married. You’ve signed a contract to work.

Kinda sounds like y’all need counseling. Sounds like your wife just wants to live on the coast.

 

[calvnandhobbs68]

Even three years is a long time to be apart. My wife has changed jobs three times in my medical career. She’s currently not as career focused, but those were decisions we made together. It’s just a job. There’s others out there.

You are married. You’ve signed a contract to work.

Kinda sounds like y’all need counseling. Sounds like your wife just wants to live on the coast.

Doesn’t sound like that at all. Sounds like wife’s job is a job that she’d have to be in one of several big coastal cities (lots of media/startup/quite a few niche technology jobs are like this).

I’m sure she has also signed a contract to work or has some sort of working agreement with her company. You seem to be making the rather narcissistic assumption that doctor’s job is the most important job here.

Residency is just a job. There are others out there. This wouldn’t be the first time someone transferred programs.

 

[Winged Scapula]

You guys decided to not have kids at all so you can focus on your careers? That’s very interesting

THat's not what he said.

He said they were career oriented AND decided not to have kids. It doesn't mean that one follows the other. Perhaps they wouldn't want children even if they weren't career oriented.

 

[dpmd]

THat's not what he said.

He said they were career oriented AND decided not to have kids. It doesn't mean that one follows the other. Perhaps they wouldn't want children even if they weren't career oriented.

I interpreted it as him implying that her quitting to stay at home would not be one of the acceptable options (since lots of people might assume that she would be ok with that as an option). Basically heading off advice that wouldn't fit (or trying to, since nitras already essentially advised she just quit)