Will subtly mentioning that I'm gay help or hurt me in residency interviews?

[medstudent87]

I'm only in second year, so its not like I've got interviews coming up...but I was just wondering...if I happen to subtly mention the fact that I am gay (and perhaps in a homosexual relationship), would that help or hurt me in gaining a desired residency? I want to try and stay in the northeast since this is where my entire life is, but there are still plenty of homophobic people around.

This wasn't an issue when I applied to medical school because I was still in the closet back then. Actually, I'm still mostly closeted, but I've started to slowly come out since Jan. and its been a rocky road :/

I should mention that I started my first year off very strong, but starting in Feb. my grades plummeted and I finished the year with satisfactories in every course AND an unsatisfactory in neuroscience (I've since re-taken the course). I'm not a big fan of excuses, but it was during these couple of months that my brother had another episode of his schizophrenia AND my parents (who are very homophobic) found out that I'm gay. So it was a rough time, to say the least.

EDIT: To everyone who says it won't come up: Won't they ask me why I did so poorly during MS-I? Wouldn't the easiest and best thing to do is to tell the truth (see above)? Also, I feel like there is a good chance they'd casually ask me if I was married or had a serious gf...in which case it'd be hard to answer without using a he or she pronoun...

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[Meerkatology]

i don't think it would help you in anyway. it's not like it counts as URM or anything
I don't think it would hurt you either, but theres a tiny chance that you might get a really homophobic interviewer so why risk it

to be safe i wouldn't mention it tbh. unless asked, (altho i don't see why they would ask that)

 

[peppy]

I think it'd be safer to just not to mention it. In most fields, most probably won't care either way (why would they? Does it really have anything to do with how you are as a doctor?). The only situation I could imagine it being slightly helpful is if you're going into ob/gyn and can sell it as being an asset to reassure female patients you're not interested in ob/gyn for the wrong reasons. 🙂
However, it only takes one person who has a problem with it to ruin your chances at a program.

 

[WashMe]

i don't think it would help you in anyway. it's not like it counts as URM or anything
I don't think it would hurt you either, but theres a tiny chance that you might get a really homophobic interviewer so why risk it

to be safe i wouldn't mention it tbh. unless asked, (altho i don't see why they would ask that)

Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's actually illegal for them to ask about your sexual orientation, relationship status, marital status, or anything else like that in an interview.

 

[thepoopologist]

I think it's an un-FABULOUS idea.

 

[Melicopter]

It should be a non-issue. In addition, it is seriously illegal for them to ask you about relationship or family status, whether you are straight or gay.

If you had grades suffer due to serious life-altering events and think it needs explanation, I would say that as vaguely as possible. Having parents who make your life more difficult is sad and it sucks, but it's not their business and they might not sympathize. On the other hand, it is also not their business that your brother suffers from schizophrenia. I'd take that angle if I were you, and say that your attention was divided due to serious illness in the family, and leave it at that.

 

[shopsteward]

Sitting in an interview while trying to work out how you can subtly mention your sexuality seems to me to be a pretty sure way not to be concentrating 100% on the interviewer, their questions, and your answers to those questions. Probably best not to do it for that reason alone.

I understand the problem though: coming out is not a "once and for all" issue, but one that needs to be dealt with again whenever you meet new people or move into a different situation. Moving to residency and getting a job after residency are two big steps in life where you are likely to have to deal with "coming out again" either sooner or later. But at present your coming out is still pretty recent, and in time this side of things should settle down for you as experience gives you a better idea of how you personally can best deal with it. Is there a GLBTI group locally where you can discuss it with others who have had to find solutions to the issue? In time, your life will settle down to the point where it probably isn't a issue (and hopefully society will continue changing for the better too).

Congratulations on surviving your first year at med school while dealing with such difficult personal circumstances. Hope things settle down a bit for you this year.

 

[Mace1370]

I wouldn't bring it up unprompted. Your sexuality will have no effect on how you practice medicine, so for the purpose of getting the job it is a non-issue.

If they ask you about your performance in MS1 year, I would say that you had a few serious issues in your family that you had to deal with and that it split your attention. They shouldn't pry any more since it really isn't there business.

 

[njbmd]

I'm only in second year, so its not like I've got interviews coming up...but I was just wondering...if I happen to subtly mention the fact that I am gay (and perhaps in a homosexual relationship), would that help or hurt me in gaining a desired residency? I want to try and stay in the northeast since this is where my entire life is, but there are still plenty of homophobic people around.

This wasn't an issue when I applied to medical school because I was still in the closet back then. Actually, I'm still mostly closeted, but I've started to slowly come out since Jan. and its been a rocky road :/

I should mention that I started my first year off very strong, but starting in Feb. my grades plummeted and I finished the year with satisfactories in every course AND an unsatisfactory in neuroscience (I've since re-taken the course). I'm not a big fan of excuses, but it was during these couple of months that my brother had another episode of his schizophrenia AND my parents (who are very homophobic) found out that I'm gay. So it was a rough time, to say the least.

EDIT: To everyone who says it won't come up: Won't they ask me why I did so poorly during MS-I? Wouldn't the easiest and best thing to do is to tell the truth (see above)? Also, I feel like there is a good chance they'd casually ask me if I was married or had a serious gf...in which case it'd be hard to answer without using a he or she pronoun...

If you are asked about your M-1 performance you can state that you had some serious personal and family issues that demanded your attention. You do not need to elaborate on the details of your trials but state emphatically that the problems are resolved and will not affect your performance in residency. You are not going to be asked about your marital status during a residency interview. Your sexuality is a non-issue here so don't make it an issue. Whether you were in medicine or not, you would still have to deal with the same personal issues and get them resolved. Don't use them as an excuse but use them as evidence that you can take care of your personal life and professional life at the same time now that you have experienced these things.

 

[sideways]

I like a nice ass on a chick. I decided not to mention it during my interview.

 

[Basookashlon]

This question can only properly be answered with sarcasm.

 

[Ischiowhat]

The things going through the minds of some med students never cease to amaze, bewilder, and occasionally horrify me...This is some combination of all the above. Who CARES? 😕 Methinks OP is early in 2nd year and still has an awful lot to learn about medicine...

 

[werd]

yeah man, i wouldn't bring up sexuality in an interview. your interviewer probably doesn't care, and bringing stuff like that up is weird and uncomfortable. i can't think of a situation where coming out to your interviewer would help you. when and if someone asks about your grade slip, they want the general situation and to hear that it's resolved, not the details of your personal life.

 

[seelee]

I wouldn't bring it up unless they ask about your hobbies.

Interviewer: "So what do you do for fun?"

OP: "Dudes."

 

[Tiktaalik]

I like a nice ass on a chick. I decided not to mention it during my interview.

In no way similar. At all.

OP: Don't mention it. It's not worth the risk. The idea of referring to your bad time as a "family crisis" if needed is the best (and really only good) idea.

 

[reedman]

don't talk about sexual things in interviews. and don't mention things about your personal life that is not the interviewers business. it makes you seem less professional.

 

[cpants]

I wouldn't do anything to hide it. You have every right to be who you are, and that's the person you should portray on interviews. If a program is anti-gay, it would be doing you a favor not to accept you. That said, it would be odd to flaunt it or bring it up unprompted.

 

[Meerkatology]

if a program is anti-gay, it would be doing you a favor not to accept you.

+1

 

[coralfangs]

I'm only in second year, so its not like I've got interviews coming up...but I was just wondering...if I happen to subtly mention the fact that I am gay (and perhaps in a homosexual relationship), would that help or hurt me in gaining a desired residency? I want to try and stay in the northeast since this is where my entire life is, but there are still plenty of homophobic people around.

This wasn't an issue when I applied to medical school because I was still in the closet back then. Actually, I'm still mostly closeted, but I've started to slowly come out since Jan. and its been a rocky road :/

I should mention that I started my first year off very strong, but starting in Feb. my grades plummeted and I finished the year with satisfactories in every course AND an unsatisfactory in neuroscience (I've since re-taken the course). I'm not a big fan of excuses, but it was during these couple of months that my brother had another episode of his schizophrenia AND my parents (who are very homophobic) found out that I'm gay. So it was a rough time, to say the least.

EDIT: To everyone who says it won't come up: Won't they ask me why I did so poorly during MS-I? Wouldn't the easiest and best thing to do is to tell the truth (see above)? Also, I feel like there is a good chance they'd casually ask me if I was married or had a serious gf...in which case it'd be hard to answer without using a he or she pronoun...

it won't make you a better physician whether you like penis or not.
based on what i've heard from PDs, preclinical grades are not as important as clinical grades and even if they ask you about your 2nd year grades, just say you were going through some serious changes and adjustment in life (w/ friends and families)
just don't stress it and don't bring attention to it. trust me on this

 

[VenusinFurs]

Yeah, I'd definitely go with not mentioning, ESPECIALLY If you interview at a southern/ midwestern program.

 

[J ROD]

being from the South, I would only mention that you were gay if you were happy...🙂

it is illegal for them to ask but if you open the door then they can use it against you....

 

[themule]

I wouldn't do anything to hide it. You have every right to be who you are, and that's the person you should portray on interviews. If a program is anti-gay, it would be doing you a favor not to accept you. That said, it would be odd to flaunt it or bring it up unprompted.

Nobody should force their sexual preference on anyone. You don't need to know mine I don't need to know yours and we should both get on merrily. The OP mentioning it during an interview is forcing it upon the interviewer, the interviewer asking about it is likewise inappropriate. It is a part of your personal life and therefor should have no bearing on your ability as a physician.

 

[VenusinFurs]

Nobody should force their sexual preference on anyone. You don't need to know mine I don't need to know yours and we should both get on merrily. The OP mentioning it during an interview is forcing it upon the interviewer, the interviewer asking about it is likewise inappropriate. It is a part of your personal life and therefor should have no bearing on your ability as a physician.

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer. If they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay, it might work against you, but it's not a violation of anything and it falls well within free speech. You're not saying "I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." You're not saying "I'm gay and this means I do such and such in bed." I see "don't ask, don't tell" as one of the worst manifestations of homophobia, because it implies that you are so uncomfortable with the very fact that people are gay that you think it is inappropriate for them to let you know that they are.

You might not agree with it, but you can't edit the world around you to fit in with your beliefs. That's not what America is about.

 

[DrDrToBe]

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer. If they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay, it might work against you, but it's not a violation of anything and it falls well within free speech. You're not saying "I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." You're not saying "I'm gay and this means I do such and such in bed." I see "don't ask, don't tell" as one of the worst manifestations of homophobia, because it implies that you are so uncomfortable with the very fact that people are gay that you think it is inappropriate for them to let you know that they are.

You might not agree with it, but you can't edit the world around you to fit in with your beliefs. That's not what America is about.

I second this.

 

[themule]

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer. If they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay, it might work against you, but it's not a violation of anything and it falls well within free speech. You're not saying "I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." You're not saying "I'm gay and this means I do such and such in bed." I see "don't ask, don't tell" as one of the worst manifestations of homophobia, because it implies that you are so uncomfortable with the very fact that people are gay that you think it is inappropriate for them to let you know that they are.

You might not agree with it, but you can't edit the world around you to fit in with your beliefs. That's not what America is about.

This has nothing to do with freedom of speech and everything to do with getting a job. There is really no difference between pushing your sexuality at me and pushing your religion at me. I don't care either way. If someone walks in exuding some sort of heterosexual or homosexual aura that is what it is but to somehow slip your sexuality/religion into an interview is just wrong.

 

[VenusinFurs]

This has nothing to do with freedom of speech and everything to do with getting a job. There is really no difference between pushing your sexuality at me and pushing your religion at me. I don't care either way. If someone walks in exuding some sort of heterosexual or homosexual aura that is what it is but to somehow slip your sexuality/religion into an interview is just wrong.

What you express or suppress at a job interview has nothing to do with right and wrong. Telling someone you are gay or Buddhist or Christian is not pushing those beliefs, lifestyles, or sexuality at them. There's a reason public institutions do not normally say "We do not discriminate on the basis of sex, color, creed, or sexual orientation as long as you keep your fat mouth shut about those dirty awkward things."

 

[themule]

What you express or suppress at a job interview has nothing to do with right and wrong. Telling someone you are gay or Buddhist or Christian is not pushing those beliefs, lifestyles, or sexuality at them. There's a reason public institutions do not normally say "We do not discriminate on the basis of sex, color, creed, or sexual orientation as long as you keep your fat mouth shut about those dirty awkward things."

Telling someone anything about you personally that was not asked is pushing information at that person that may not help you in landing the sought after position which was the point of this thread. If it doesn't come up in the interview conversation there is no reason to volunteer the information. I don't know about you but I don't sit in an interview talking with someone and say "Oh, BTW I'm a Muslim." No they can't technically hold it against you but on other subjective areas they might mark you off. If the discussion of religion comes up then definitely don't hide it but there's no reason to volunteer the information.

A tattoo is a large part of who some people are but it's pretty tough to get a job dealing with the public with a large eyeball in the middle of your forehead.

 

[Marcus Brody]

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer.

It is forcing it. It is intentionally telling the interviewer an irrelevant fact which he/she is then required to ignore from consideration. The interviewer has no choice but to disregard such information, so specifically mentioning it creates an unnecessary conflict. It would be the same thing if the interviewer were gay. In studies of interpersonal communication this is known as "hostage taking."

 

[just one]

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer. If they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay, it might work against you, but it's not a violation of anything and it falls well within free speech. You're not saying "I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." You're not saying "I'm gay and this means I do such and such in bed." I see "don't ask, don't tell" as one of the worst manifestations of homophobia, because it implies that you are so uncomfortable with the very fact that people are gay that you think it is inappropriate for them to let you know that they are.

You might not agree with it, but you can't edit the world around you to fit in with your beliefs. That's not what America is about.

That is not true. Obviously you haven't been in the modern working world. Depending how the conversation goes, it could be in fact a violation called "creating a hostile work environment". Gay, straight, sideways, whatever, bringing up in conversation at a work environment pertaining to sexual preference or dating (gay or straight) creates a hostile work environment for employees and reportable to human resources. Your supervisor is then required to speak to you, if you persist it is grounds for dismissal and possible legal recourse. Granted one comment saying I have faced difficulties/discrimination due to my sexual orientation and i am stronger due to ........... will not constitute this. But repeatedly bringing up sexual orientation (gay or straight) in the workplace is grounds and is not protected under "free speech". Telling your buddy at work how you constantly are trying to bang chicks/dudes is not protected. Ask any HR rep.

 

[VenusinFurs]

I know the difference between sexually charged/ hostile speech and mentioning your sexual orientation as it pertains to your life experiences. Let's stick to the context here: OP's saying it was tough to come out to his parents, and it affected his grades. Would telling the interviewer that be forcing his sexuality upon the interviewer? No. Would it be wrong/ threatening/ harassing in any way? No. Thank you for playing.

Also: would mentioning your husband or wife in casual conversations with your workmates be threatening or harassing?

 

[medstudent87]

Telling someone anything about you personally that was not asked is pushing information at that person that may not help you in landing the sought after position which was the point of this thread. If it doesn't come up in the interview conversation there is no reason to volunteer the information. I don't know about you but I don't sit in an interview talking with someone and say "Oh, BTW I'm a Muslim." No they can't technically hold it against you but on other subjective areas they might mark you off. If the discussion of religion comes up then definitely don't hide it but there's no reason to volunteer the information.

A tattoo is a large part of who some people are but it's pretty tough to get a job dealing with the public with a large eyeball in the middle of your forehead.

See, the thing you and a lot of other straight people don't realize is that you mention being heterosexual ALL the time, whether it be directly or indirectly. If you are a man and start talking about all the things you do for fun with your WIFE or GIRLFRIEND, guess what...you just disclosed your sexuality. I'm not out to anyone at my school and I often find myself in situations where I must lie about what I did over the weekend because telling the truth would reveal my little secret, which I'm not ready to do. I hate doing this and I'd love nothing more than to boast about my boyfriend, but there are still a lot of people in the world that are like yourself and think I should keep this minor aspect of myself hidden from public view

 

[TN Medicine]

See, the thing you and a lot of other straight people don't realize is that you mention being heterosexual ALL the time, whether it be directly or indirectly. If you are a man and start talking about all the things you do for fun with your WIFE or GIRLFRIEND, guess what...you just disclosed your sexuality. I'm not out to anyone at my school and I often find myself in situations where I must lie about what I did over the weekend because telling the truth would reveal my little secret, which I'm not ready to do. I hate doing this and I'd love nothing more than to boast about my boyfriend, but there are still a lot of people in the world that are like yourself and think I should keep this minor aspect of myself hidden from public view

Kind of off topic, but trust me on this one, its a lot better when you stop lying. I told a few of my classmates last semester and they were all fine with it. Of course, I still don't go broadcasting it around just because there are still people out there who genuinely are against it or whatever. But if asked I never lie (now that is haha).

As far as interviews, I would never think of mentioning it, just because you never know the life experiences or world view of the people that you are talking to. You're being judged on your ability to practice medicine effectively, and being gay or not doesn't really make me or you or anyone else a better or worse physician, so its not relevant.

 

[Marcus Brody]

I know the difference between sexually charged/ hostile speech and mentioning your sexual orientation as it pertains to your life experiences. Let's stick to the context here: OP's saying it was tough to come out to his parents, and it affected his grades. Would telling the interviewer that be forcing his sexuality upon the interviewer? No. Would it be wrong/ threatening/ harassing in any way? No. Thank you for playing.

It's a passive aggressive little social tactic....and I have no idea why anyone would want to try it out in an interview. Then again medstudent87 isn't known for his brilliance. Most likely y'all postin' in a troll thread.

 

[themule]

See, the thing you and a lot of other straight people don't realize is that you mention being heterosexual ALL the time, whether it be directly or indirectly. If you are a man and start talking about all the things you do for fun with your WIFE or GIRLFRIEND, guess what...you just disclosed your sexuality. I'm not out to anyone at my school and I often find myself in situations where I must lie about what I did over the weekend because telling the truth would reveal my little secret, which I'm not ready to do. I hate doing this and I'd love nothing more than to boast about my boyfriend, but there are still a lot of people in the world that are like yourself and think I should keep this minor aspect of myself hidden from public view

Hey guy you don't know anything about me. I could be straight, I could be gay, I could be asexual, you don't know. Ask yourself why that is. My sexual orientation is irrelevant to the discussion, just as my religious preference, if I have one, is irrelevant. I understand that you're in the closet that's your issue and I hope you get it sorted out for your own betterment, but using your sexual issues as a some sort of an excuse on the interview trail won't win you any supporters just like me saying that my grades sucked because my wife/husband and I got a divorce my second year. It is best to be vague when it comes to religious or sexual issues. But this isn't SPF so do whatever you want and best of luck.

 

[Mace1370]

See, the thing you and a lot of other straight people don't realize is that you mention being heterosexual ALL the time, whether it be directly or indirectly. If you are a man and start talking about all the things you do for fun with your WIFE or GIRLFRIEND, guess what...you just disclosed your sexuality. I'm not out to anyone at my school and I often find myself in situations where I must lie about what I did over the weekend because telling the truth would reveal my little secret, which I'm not ready to do. I hate doing this and I'd love nothing more than to boast about my boyfriend, but there are still a lot of people in the world that are like yourself and think I should keep this minor aspect of myself hidden from public view

Talking in public/to friends is totally different than talking to someone interviewing you. In other words, mentioning all the super fun things you do with you GF/wife would also be inappropriate in an interview setting.

 

[Raryn]

This has nothing to do with freedom of speech and everything to do with getting a job. There is really no difference between pushing your sexuality at me and pushing your religion at me. I don't care either way. If someone walks in exuding some sort of heterosexual or homosexual aura that is what it is but to somehow slip your sexuality/religion into an interview is just wrong.

I agree that there is no reason to discuss your sexuality in an interview, but I disagree with the religion bit. Aside from that being a substantial portion of some candidates extracurriculars, what if someone wanted to inquire about how the residency deals with issues that are peculiar to their religion? If someone was Shomer Shabbos (a Jew that strictly kept the Sabbath) and wanted to find out if the program could potentially minimize call on Friday nights/Saturdays (in exchange for more call on other days) or if the program would be willing to give them the High Holidays off consistently, it would be completely appropriate for someone to bring that up. Or if someone was a Muslim that wanted to inquire if there was an area set aside for the 5x daily prayers, assuming it wouldn't compromise patient care to step aside for the five minutes it takes.

OTOH, I can think of absolutely no issues that being homosexual, bisexual, asexual, pansexual, or what have you would bring up with how your residency program is supposed to schedule things, educate you, or anything along those lines. The OP can bring it up if he wants, just like someone can bring up their wife, their children, their dog, or their habit of playing golf, but none of it is especially relevant to whether the person would work well with the program. (Well, except perhaps the kids bit, because some programs are more open to changing schedules for that than others, but one should tread *very* carefully if one wants to bring that up)

 

[MossPoh]

Whoah, that's going too far. Sexual preference is a question of identity, and in many cases, culture. I don't see how mentioning that you're gay is FORCING anything upon the interviewer. If they are uncomfortable with the fact that you are gay, it might work against you, but it's not a violation of anything and it falls well within free speech. You're not saying "I'm gay and I want to have sex with you." You're not saying "I'm gay and this means I do such and such in bed." I see "don't ask, don't tell" as one of the worst manifestations of homophobia, because it implies that you are so uncomfortable with the very fact that people are gay that you think it is inappropriate for them to let you know that they are.

You might not agree with it, but you can't edit the world around you to fit in with your beliefs. That's not what America is about.

In the OPs case and their question, being gay should be irrelevant. It says nothing about your qualifications as a physician. It is being asked from the perspective of gaining possible leverage by being gay or whether it would most likely hurt their odds. So, from that perspective I see it as wrong to do. I honestly don't give a damn if someone is gay. I've got lots of gay friends, but I hardly see how it is a relevant part of an INTERVIEW. Yes, being gay is an integral part of who you are and there are tough times with it. I don't think anybody is denying it. Guess what? Being straight is a pretty damn important part of who I am as well. I may not experience the homophobia that is ever so prevalent in our world, but you can rest assured that my sexual orientation is one of the things that builds who I am today. As such, I see it as a non-factor in a decision to pick someone for a position.

You can't even say it is the same as affirmative action and the URM stuff. Why? Because those people have much higher odds of coming from a background of poverty. Being gay doesn't originate from low SES. I know rich kids that ended up coming out and poor kids..big deal.

Whether you share the viewpoint is moot really, but mentioning that you are gay WITHOUT prompting is equivalent to me saying I'm straight at the interview. There is no justifiable reason to say it. When there isn't a justifiable reason, such as "I see you were president of GLAAM. Tell me a little about it and what your group did." , it IS forcing something upon that interviewer. Whether you like it or not, you ARE telling them what you do in bed. It is forcing them, on the spot, to make a judgment call with their own morals.

 

[shopsteward]

There is no justifiable reason to say it. When there isn't a justifiable reason, such as "I see you were president of GLAAM. Tell me a little about it and what your group did." , it IS forcing something upon that interviewer. Whether you like it or not, you ARE telling them what you do in bed. It is forcing them, on the spot, to make a judgment call with their own morals.

In this situation, nothing is being forced upon the interviewer. In fact, the interviewer's obligation in their role as interviewer, both legally and morally, is not to make that "judgment call". If they are unable to do that, they shouldn't be interviewing. Sadly, interviewers are fallible (interview alone is one of the least satisfactory ways of making appointments) and it can't be guaranteed that they will meet this required standard, even though it is the minimum required in a modern and civilised society.

And telling someone one's sexual orientation is not the same as telling them what one does in bed, if anything - there is a difference between "who" (i.e, people of the same sex), "what" and "whether". A failure to understand that is worrying.

 

[drghost]

I don't know about you guys but, I prefer my doctor does not mention anything their personal lives to me. I don't care what he does in bed, out of the office or, on the golf course. I want, as a patient, my physician to be totally focused on my needs when I am in the office. I want to be healed if I am sick or to know that I am OK if it is just a checkup.

If they don't ask, keep your personal life to yourself. I am, as a medical student, clearly, in no position to be interviewing anyone for anything. Although, it seems to me, a need to tell people you are gay, straight or, a triangle would hurt your chances in the interview because it makes people uncomfortable. Uncomfortable patients are not the most cooperative and that makes your job, as a physician, harder. Just keep it to yourself.

 

[mac_kin]

🙂

 

[themule]

Agree with posts above.

It is irrelevant. There is NO REASON to bring it up.

Are you bringing it up to make a point? As in, I'm "diverse so I fit in better to this hospital"? Or to hope that maybe the interviewer is gay so it will make it easier for you to be accepted?

I hope not, because both of those situations would be completely unethical.

If you are trying to feel the place out to see if you will be accepted, look for other ways. For instance, talk to med students there, check out their website - does it seem like they have a strong LGBT group? Look at the surrounding city.

If I were an interviewer and someone told me about their sexuality or sexual preferences or sex club or sex vacation - I would be very turned off. I'm interviewing your for a medical position, if you bring up sex, that is completely 100% hands down unprofessional and unnecessary, and will hurt your chances.

Imagine, an older interviewer, just had 5 interviews in a row, all very good, all very close, all seem to really want the opportunity, in you walk "Hi, I'm Steve, I'm gay. I'd love to do my residency here." Sorry, you will fail the second you mention it - trust me.
It's not about homophobia or discomfort.

Your gayness will come out one way or another. Eventually someone will ask what you did on the weekend, where you are going for Christmas, any plans for Valentine's?

It will come out. But they won't kick you out of the program once you are in. However, if you are accepted, I would then subtly mention it early on in the relationship, so that your mentors have time to adjust.

And I was good up until the bolded part. There should be no need to adjust because someone does something in the privacy of their own bedroom/home. You shouldn't treat somebody differently because they are rogering Bob and not Barb. Treat them as a human being, as a co-worker and hopefully as a friend. Sweet Jesus homosexuals aren't handicapped and you need to install a ramp so that you can comply with the ADA.

 

[jdh71]

And I was good up until the bolded part. There should be no need to adjust because someone does something in the privacy of their own bedroom/home. You shouldn't treat somebody differently because they are rogering Bob and not Barb. Treat them as a human being, as a co-worker and hopefully as a friend. Sweet Jesus homosexuals aren't handicapped and you need to install a ramp so that you can comply with the ADA.

Laughed out loud here in the liberrarry. People looked at me.

I guess, while I'm kind of a don't ask don't tell kind of guy with regards to interviews, in general . . . I think this could be very germane to understanding why things went south in M1. If I were an interviewer and someone told me that they came out and his parents were very against that, I think I'd understand that more than a vague "personal problems" or "family stress".

Also a VERY salient point mentioned by cpants, if it was brought up and used against you, that's not the program you would have wanted anyway.

I kind of think the NE would be pretty non-judgemental about being gay as a region.

However, there's no need to cross bridges before you get to them. I suppose it's always good to think ahead, but I'd concentrate on M2 right now. I wager those grades and step 1 are going to do more for getting you into or not into the residency of your choice than anything else.

Good luck.

 

[Rollo]

If you are asked about your M-1 performance you can state that you had some serious personal and family issues that demanded your attention. You do not need to elaborate on the details of your trials but state emphatically that the problems are resolved and will not affect your performance in residency. You are not going to be asked about your marital status during a residency interview. Your sexuality is a non-issue here so don't make it an issue. Whether you were in medicine or not, you would still have to deal with the same personal issues and get them resolved. Don't use them as an excuse but use them as evidence that you can take care of your personal life and professional life at the same time now that you have experienced these things.

Best advice in this thread, in my humble opinion.

Look OP, everybody goes through tough times whether or not they are in medical school. What matters more is whether or not you got through those tough times successfully.

In your case, with 1 unsatisfactory I doubt residency interviewers will think much of it so long as you do well on your boards and rotations.

Now, if you had to repeat the entire year, then that would be a different issue.

 

[Raryn]

Sweet Jesus homosexuals aren't handicapped and you need to install a ramp so that you can comply with the ADA.

Exactly right. If you need special accommodations for something, feel free to bring it up. If its irrelevant, why would you?

If you had them, you could (and should) bring up your extensive volunteer experiences with your campus LGBTPM group, but even so, that says nothing about your personal sexual preferences. For example, I am good friends with the president of my campuses LGBTPM group. He's most definitely not LGBT, but he's still interested in their health issues. Even if he was LGBT, there would be no reason to bring that up at a residency (or job) interview.

 

[namethatsmell]

It is irrelevant. There is NO REASON to bring it up.

This. Not the time to be seen as pushing an agenda.

Being comfortable with who you are is a sign of maturity/confidence.

It no doubt takes great courage to tell your friends you are gay.

The people interviewing you are not your friends.

 

[VenusinFurs]

How does one "subtly" mention he or she is gay, anyway? Through euphemisms? "Oh, I love to rearrange teacups. I'm one of those people, if you catch my meaning."

 

[themule]

How does one "subtly" mention he or she is gay, anyway? Through euphemisms? "Oh, I love to rearrange teacups. I'm one of those people, if you catch my meaning."

👍

 

[Rollo]

It no doubt takes great courage to tell your friends you are gay.

Your interpretation of 'courage' is skewed.

 

[namethatsmell]

Your interpretation of 'courage' is skewed.

Just trying to sympathize a bit with the OP and it was not my intent to over-dramatize (though I can see how it could come off that way)...unless you meant something else in which case feel free to expound...

 

[medstudent87]

Your interpretation of 'courage' is skewed.

i'm not exactly sure what you're trying to say here, but FYI coming out was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.