Women entering med school at 27/28--thoughts?

[NYerCartoonist]

Hi everyone,

I am considering entering medical school at age 27 or 28, about five years after the average start date. Because medical school is so consuming and because I'm neither married nor engaged, I'm concerned that this timing will negatively disrupt other great areas of life (i.e., relationships). Does anyone know of any women who have entered competitive medical schools later in life? Would they do it again?

From what I've seen, the only people whose relationships didn't suffer during medical school were those who were already seriously dating or married. This prospect is a tough one for me to accept when I have other professional, yet less fulfilling, options...

Best,
NYC

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[CycleCA]

maybe 27 is older for you, but not for me. I'm 26 and finishing my BS, starting a postbac, and then starting med school. Talk about old! I need consoling, here.

 

[dr1day]

I'm a woman, 31, and an MSI. It just depends on you. You can have a life outside of med school. A classmate of mine is older than average (not sure her exact age), married and just had a baby last Tuesday. She found out she was pregnant in January and found out she got into med school in April. She has a very supportive husband and they decided that she couldn't let the opportunity pass. You can do almost anything if you REALLY want to do it.

 

[Pekoe]

I'm 38 and finishing up my BA and considering a post bac in a couple of years. I was only on my third child at the age of 27.

You need to consider what is important. I have a husband who is enjoying the ride with me. If I get accepted into a post bacc at 40, he said he'll fasten his seatbelt for the ride and somehow we will work out life with seven kids left and me getting the degrees. (We are done procreating.)

If this is your priority, find someone who shares your vision. You will need an man who is comfortable with you growing, not someone who is happy with you settling for something less. You will have to prefer loneliness to the company of some weasel who wants your time and attention to affirm his self worth. (Same for men!)

I am taking a lit class in Women of the Yukon. Not settling down is nothing new and I am finding out that what we think is The Road Less Traveled has already been paved by women with a harder, steeper climb than we'll ever face.

 

[Nasrudin]

I'm 38 and finishing up my BA and considering a post bac in a couple of years. I was only on my third child at the age of 27.

You need to consider what is important. I have a husband who is enjoying the ride with me. If I get accepted into a post bacc at 40, he said he'll fasten his seatbelt for the ride and somehow we will work out life with seven kids left and me getting the degrees. (We are done procreating.)

If this is your priority, find someone who shares your vision. You will need an man who is comfortable with you growing, not someone who is happy with you settling for something less. You will have to prefer loneliness to the company of some weasel who wants your time and attention to affirm his self worth. (Same for men!)

I am taking a lit class in Women of the Yukon. Not settling down is nothing new and I am finding out that what we think is The Road Less Traveled has already been paved by women with a harder, steeper climb than we'll ever face.

Nice post pekoe.

 

[Pekoe]

Nice post pekoe.

 

[hle007]

I'm 38 and finishing up my BA and considering a post bac in a couple of years. I was only on my third child at the age of 27.

You need to consider what is important. I have a husband who is enjoying the ride with me. If I get accepted into a post bacc at 40, he said he'll fasten his seatbelt for the ride and somehow we will work out life with seven kids left and me getting the degrees. (We are done procreating.)

If this is your priority, find someone who shares your vision. You will need an man who is comfortable with you growing, not someone who is happy with you settling for something less. You will have to prefer loneliness to the company of some weasel who wants your time and attention to affirm his self worth. (Same for men!)

I am taking a lit class in Women of the Yukon. Not settling down is nothing new and I am finding out that what we think is The Road Less Traveled has already been paved by women with a harder, steeper climb than we'll ever face.

Great post! Very inspiring! At the pace I am going, I think I won't be consider for med school anytime soon... at least not until I am in my late 20's. Thanks a lot for this thread.

 

[smmed]

I am 27, female, looking to enter a postbac program in spring of 08. Sometimes I wonder if I'm crazy for wanting to do this... like you, I'm neither married nor engaged. I'm so afraid of med school consuming my life, and never meeting anyone/having kids... it's like, when is all of this supposed to happen?

What I think it comes down to though, is this. You can't live your life in fear... you can't not do what you feel you need to simply because you're afraid. At least that's what I tell myself. Only time will tell, I suppose! I truly hope that it will all work out... and that it is possible to have everything.

 

[mshheaddoc]

moving to the non-traditional forum as its better suited for discussion.

As someone in that age range I don't see anything wrong with entering med school either.

 

[queenbee]

ok deep breaths, op.

first off, you are not old. i know it's all relative, as you can talk to 21 year olds that complain about being old, but really. you're still in your 20s.

second, making friends or meeting people to be in relationships with is not totally and completely dependent upon what job, career, or life choice you make. if you are the type of person that is capable of meeting new people and making new friends, then entering med school at 27, 30, 40, 50, or whatever shouldn't change that fact.

if anything, you will be meeting a whole range of people with a similar interest and goal, from people younger than you to people that are the same age and older. you should welcome the transition and opportunity to meet others like yourself.

lastly, i'm also not married or engaged. i'm 27 and if all goes well, i will start med school when i'm 29. the thing i worry about the most is perhaps my biological clock ticking during school. but, judging from my postbac experience thus far, i've met great people and i hope to be meeting similar people once i hit med school.

don't stress this kind of stuff - attain your goals and then just roll with the punches.

 

[chemphd]

I'll be starting med school (hopefully) next year at 27. I have a boyfriend now, but am not engaged. I'll probably end up single if I don't end up being able to stay in the area...

My advice (if you're really worried about meeting people- i.e. people to date- in med school) would be to go to med school in a reasonably sized city where there are a good number of single people your age. Most likely this would mean the coasts and large cities. I have a friend who is at Mayo who said just about everyone was "taken" when they got there, so he has trouble meeting single women. You can even find lists of places that are the places to be if you're single.

That said, I wouldn't worry too much about this- if you're going after what you want and are happy, then eventually you'll find someone, and everything will work out.

 

[LadyWolverine]

OP, I started med school at 27 (I'm now in my 2nd year) unattached. I have found the time to date a couple of people while in school. You can still have a social life while in med school - don't worry. If medical school is your dream, then go for it. There's no point in "planning" your life around someone that you haven't even met yet. Live your dream, and you'll realize that the rest of the details just sort of fill in around it.

 

[BrokenGlass]

OP, I started med school at 27 (I'm now in my 2nd year) unattached. I have found the time to date a couple of people while in school. You can still have a social life while in med school - don't worry. If medical school is your dream, then go for it. There's no point in "planning" your life around someone that you haven't even met yet. Live your dream, and you'll realize that the rest of the details just sort of fill in around it.

Yes, but don't tell the person you may end up dating that he's just a detail around your dream. This may ruin the relationship

 

[Savantrice]

I'm applying now and i'm 27. I know more than handful of non-trad women in their mid-late 20's applying to health professional programs (dent and pharm, specifically)

i'm not dating anyone right now, but that's my choice not because of school. No matter what you're doing you can make time for your priorities, so if a relationship is one or a marriage for that matter it can be done,

i know one guy that got divorced during M4 because his wife couldnt stand all the time apart. Conversely, I know a couple that got married and had twins all while in med school...and theyre still together doing their residencies now. it can be done, provided your partner is understanding

 

[elwademd]

i'm done with medical school (graduated 2005), 27/28 is not old. the oldest lady in my class was 48 when we started (and i don't think she was the oldest person).

one of the 3rd year residents in my residency is 42.

while the average age of medical school students is 23/24, remember that it's an average , and there is a wide age range!

don't be discouraged by your age.

 

[LadyWolverine]

Yes, but don't tell the person you may end up dating that he's just a detail around your dream. This may ruin the relationship

haha...that's not exactly what I meant.

 

[BrokenGlass]

haha...that's not exactly what I meant.

Next time a girl tells me that I am a man of her DREAMS (ok, that's not gonna happen, but lets pretend for a moment that it might), I'll know what she means

 

[GreyBlueEyes]

I'll be 32 when I start med school, assuming all goes as planned. I already have 3 children. they'll all be in school by the time I start, though, & my husband is VERY supportive. this is a demanding career regardless where you are in life. if you were married already, or a parent, you'd be agonizing over the guilt of not spending as much time with your family. I don't think you should let go of a real dream because it might interfere with another dream. It'll work out

 

[NYerCartoonist]

Hi everyone,

Thanks so much for posting. I appreciate hearing your thoughts and really value your perspectives. It's good to hear that social life does exist in med school, even if it's not the kind I'm used to now.

I'm pretty outgoing and social, so it's always been easy for me to meet people and make new friends. My fear about relationship limitation probably stems from my male friends, who in many ways are what I'm attracted to. They're smart and ambitious, but for the most part they don't really support the idea of (future) wives working long hours. It might sound chauvinistic, but they work intense jobs and have their reasons. Or it might just be that they, too, are in their mid-20s and don't yet know what will work best in marriage.

Either way, you all are right. I think it can be done... as long as a major city is involved.

Thanks again for all your stories and advice. You are a great group!

-NYC

 

[GreyBlueEyes]

They're smart and ambitious, but for the most part they don't really support the idea of (future) wives working long hours. It might sound chauvinistic, but they work intense jobs and have their reasons. Or it might just be that they, too, are in their mid-20s and don't yet know what will work best in marriage.

i actually agree that it's best if only one spouse has a particularly demanding job, especially when children are involved, but who says it has to be the husband? my husband is active duty. once i finish my residency, he'll be done with his 20 years in and plans to retire. we've agreed that if i'm going to be a doctor, it would be better if he didn't work. of course, he'll have his retirement pay and benefits to contribute, but otherwise, he'll be a househusband. hee hee.

you never know who you'll meet and fall in love with. true compatibility means you'll be able to coordinate your plans together.

 

[njbmd]

Hi everyone,

I am considering entering medical school at age 27 or 28, about five years after the average start date. Because medical school is so consuming and because I'm neither married nor engaged, I'm concerned that this timing will negatively disrupt other great areas of life (i.e., relationships). Does anyone know of any women who have entered competitive medical schools later in life? Would they do it again?

From what I've seen, the only people whose relationships didn't suffer during medical school were those who were already seriously dating or married. This prospect is a tough one for me to accept when I have other professional, yet less fulfilling, options...

Best,
NYC

Contrary to popular belief, medical school/medicine does not "whisk" you away to some monastery or convent where you never encounter another human being. Medical school is a professional school that prepares you for a career in medicine. Medicine is an interesting career that you tailor to your career needs. Medical school/medicine is not a relationship killer unless one of the people in the relationship was not a full participant to begin with.

If you are the type of person that is "all consumed" by your vocation then any profession is going to be difficult to pursue with a relationship and any relationship is going to be difficult to pursue with a profession. If you are a person that is able to strike a balance and prioritize what is important to you both professionally and personally, then no career is going to interfere with your relationship and your personal relationships will enhance your career.

Medicine versus relationships (friendships, family, romantic, business, professional) is not an "either/or" but more of a working a balance just as teaching, law, engineering, pumping gas or business is striking a balance to make time for the things in your life that are important to you personally.

 

[corsair]

I'll be starting med school (hopefully) next year at 27. I have a boyfriend now, but am not engaged. I'll probably end up single if I don't end up being able to stay in the area...

Exact same situation for me. It's a tough call since we've been together a couple years, but he's starting to freak at the idea of having to move. He's from Canada, so is kind of freaking out about having to stay here for another 5+ years too. Nothing like relationship issues to make applying for Med school more stressful!

 

[sawood]

I loved reading these posts. I also had some of the same fears when I started down this path...I'm 30 and applying this year for fall 08.

It was hard at first because many of my friends are married and have children, houses, and seem to be where they 'should' be at this age. Its hard not to fall into the trap of feeling 'behind' in the race to 'have it all' because I didn't start med school at the age of 22.

to everyone

 

[CSTwnbMD]

I'll be 32 when I start med school, assuming all goes as planned. I already have 3 children. they'll all be in school by the time I start, though, & my husband is VERY supportive. this is a demanding career regardless where you are in life. if you were married already, or a parent, you'd be agonizing over the guilt of not spending as much time with your family. I don't think you should let go of a real dream because it might interfere with another dream. It'll work out

I was happy to read about another military spouse interested in pursuing medicine too. I know what you meant when you mentioned guilty feelings about spending less time with family. My husband is active duty too and we are currently expecting our first child. I just turned 27 and plan on going back to school in 2009. I will be about 31 or 32 when I plan on applying if all goes well for me too. How old are you right now and are you almost finished with your your pre-med degree? What is your major? I've been looking into Integrative Physiology. My husband will most likely go career and when I finish my residency he will have just a few years left before his 20 years would be up. He is very supportive too and doesn't want to hold me back from pursuing my dream of becoming a doctor. I just don't want to miss out on too many milestones of my childs life, the times that it really matters for me to be there. I hope your right, I hope it will work out.

 

[lzbthcox]

I loved reading these posts. I also had some of the same fears when I started down this path...I'm 30 and applying this year for fall 08.

It was hard at first because many of my friends are married and have children, houses, and seem to be where they 'should' be at this age. Its hard not to fall into the trap of feeling 'behind' in the race to 'have it all' because I didn't start med school at the age of 22.

to everyone

I completely understand that feeling. I'm 25 and I am a freshman this semester. I have two kids and my husband just left the service, also to go to school. I sometimes stop and think how behind I am in life. "If I had started in xxxx I would be done by now." But I don't dwell on it. Life is what it is. You can't go back and change it. Do what you feel you should. Don't feel like it is one or the other.


I figure me starting college at an old age is better than me never going.

 

[2008orbust]

.


I figure me starting college at an old age is better than me never going.

Yup Yup Yup

 

[fabu1ous]

...If you are the type of person that is "all consumed" by your vocation then any profession is going to be difficult to pursue with a relationship and any relationship is going to be difficult to pursue with a profession. If you are a person that is able to strike a balance and prioritize what is important to you both professionally and personally, then no career is going to interfere with your relationship and your personal relationships will enhance your career.

Medicine versus relationships (friendships, family, romantic, business, professional) is not an "either/or" but more of a working a balance just as teaching, law, engineering, pumping gas or business is striking a balance to make time for the things in your life that are important to you personally.

I completely agree. I have a background in social services, and could easily pull 50-60 hr work weeks and still have to care for my husband and 2 little ones. I will be in my early 30's when I start in '08 (hopefully), and I see med school as my full time job. When people know I'm applying for medical school, though, they always ask how I will handle the demands of school and caring for a family. My answer? How any other full time parent takes care of her family. I know med school has its own unique challenges, but if you've ever been in social work, you know how demanding this field can be as well. I certainly won't let this deter me.

I completely understand that feeling. I'm 25 and I am a freshman this semester. I have two kids and my husband just left the service, also to go to school. I sometimes stop and think how behind I am in life. "If I had started in xxxx I would be done by now." But I don't dwell on it. Life is what it is. You can't go back and change it. Do what you feel you should. Don't feel like it is one or the other.


I figure me starting college at an old age is better than me never going.

lzbthcox: I am soooo glad you decided to go back to school. Enjoy the process, enjoy your two little ones... When you finish, I know you will have a sincere appreciation for all you've overcome to make it through! Best to you and all other nontrads !

 

[psych1]

I'm also in my late 20's in medical school. I am considering leaving. I am not sure if spending the next several years in school is really condusive to future happiness. I am not so sure this is a good idea. It might be too much of a sacrifice and I might end up a bitter old career woman living with cats. Any comments?

 

[iwantthis]

you're gonna do great, but only if you want too. BUT YOU CAN DO IT

 

[Bungy]

I'm 35 and can't even apply till next year, to start in 2009. My husband's 45 and also considering med school maybe starting 2010. We've got 2 kids and will be planning our meltdowns so they don't coincide. LOL

 

[Phoenix.]

I'm also in my late 20's in medical school. I am considering leaving. I am not sure if spending the next several years in school is really condusive to future happiness. I am not so sure this is a good idea. It might be too much of a sacrifice and I might end up a bitter old career woman living with cats. Any comments?

Ack. I'm sorry to hear that. Are you in a big city? Or do you just feel that you have absolutely no time to meet people while in medical school?

Anyway, i'm 33 and hopefully will be starting med school in 2008. I'm also hoping that I will still be able to meet guys and date, but hey, if I somehow get into Mayo (i.e., no big city & a little med school) I'll very happily consign myself to being a dog lady for the next four years. On second thought, even if everyone in the small Mayo med school are hooked up and there's no big city, there have got to be a few docs at loose ends in the Mayo Clinic, no? Where there's a will, there's a way....

 

[Kookie]

I'm 24 years old and just started school as a science major. I spent 3 semesters at a private college as a business management major....and initiatly wanted to go and get my bachelors degree in real estate and metropolitan development. I decided to go for my dream of becoming a doctor. I will be 28 when I finish my bachelors degree. I'm a single mother of two boys ages 6 and 2. I go to school full-time, work part-time and a mother all day. I feel the same way about being old starting school to become a doctor but when I think about doing something the rest of my life that I will enjoy it is all worth it.
I personally stay away from guys and dating because I have a lot on my plate and don't want to get off tracked. I come from a place that no one thinks of becoming a doctor because of the years it takes to become one. My friends and other associates think I'm nuts for taking in soo much as a single mother, a worker, and a student. People I know go to college but for the typical associates and bachelors degree or maybe masters degree, only to hope to make 30,000-45,000 a year. I have a lot of negative people around me. They would tell me to go for it and that I can do it but are thinking to themselves that I won't make it or hoping that I won't so they won't feel that they didnt do less than me in their life. Sometimes I feel like giving up but my pride doesn't let me.

Believe me no one is ever too old to get a education and start a career! At least thats what I was taught by positive people in my life.

 

[kcmedgirl]

I am in currently in college and have been since I graduated high school in 2003. However, I have two young daughters and am looking at (hopefully) entering medical school at 27. My biggest worry is having the time to study and still spend the time I need to with my girls.

 

[Omashu]

Me too.....

I'm 25, I had my son when I was 20. I started college at 21. I have about 90 Credits. I still have about a year and a half til I graduate. Because I'm married...work fulltime....I have to go slower than the average student....because I have my limits. My philosophy is take it a day at a time......and eventually we will meet our goals if we don't give up.

We will all have some really dark momments.... But it's essential we try to stay positive and focused.

So...to the OP.....Don't look at yourself as too old to start this.

 

[dia009]

me too.
but you can only worry so much.
i feel a little comforted because the type of guys i date are still in grad school at age 28. all my past boyfriends are only starting their lives at 28 after their ph.d.
i used to worry about it a little, but i just got over it now.

 

[crazydiamond]

I'm 27, married, have a 2 year old and another on the way. Oh, and I won't even be applying until next year, if all goes well. . possibly longer than that if it doesn't.

Life isn't just a recipe, where you follow all the steps in the right order and end up with a perfect finished product. Life is different for all of us and as the adage goes, it's not the destination that matters but the journey.

I got my BS Biology at 21 when all my classmates has applied to and been accepted to med school. They're halfway through their residencies now. And me? Well, I've been working at various entry-level jobs spinning my wheels doing nothing useful in a completely unrelated field.

I often look back and feel so old because the other premeds I volunteer with are all 20. And I feel that my friends and former classmates are so far ahead of me because they are further in their careers and I haven't even really started. All I've been doing is shacking up and popping out babies.

But the grass is always greener, ya know? Those that are well into their medical career are longing the companionship and family. . .and those of us with the family are longing the career. To be perfectly honest, I read your post and thought "Wow, med school would be so much easier without a house and a husband and kids." I know that wasn't your intent and I don't mean to diminish your feelings, but it definitely puts a different perspective on things when you realize how much more difficult things are when you've got a ton more responsibilities. Maybe you can have it all, just not all at the same time.

But what I do know is that 1) 27-28 is not old and 2) there's still plenty of time for the things you want, you just may have to be a little patient to get them.

 

[NonTradMed]

I understand the sentiment. You feel like going back to school forces you to put your life 'on hold'. Yes, it's harder to juggle relationships, start new ones etc in med school. I'm worried as well. It's nice to hear support from others on the web but the sad truth is ladies have a biological clock and most of us are suppose to be married with kids by the time we're 30---or so society tells us. After med school comes residency---an even more grueling experience, and it's daunting to think that we may never get married since we're kept so busy.

So the key is to PLAN for things like dating. It's not going to be something that falls into your lap anymore. You have to allocate your time wisely and make attempts to socialize. And hope for the best. I'm 28 and a few years older than most people in my class (one person fellow alumni, my fellow classmate, mentioned me to someone else: "NonTradMed who graduated from the same school as me---but a long time ago") and yeah, it does make you feel like you didn't get your stuff together when you see people five years younger than you at the same place you are.

But I remember a few things:

1. We'll all end up the same place. By the time we hit 40, we're all attendings!

2. We've done other stuff that people younger than us have not. Half my class came directly from college. That's great but I've worked, had a "real" job and did some serious thinking and research about going to med school. I find the students around me incredibly naive about what having a job is, and why they are in medicine. The extra maturity is an advantage, not a hindrance.

3. You'll in freakin' med school. How many 30+ year olds wish they were in med school but thought, "gee, I'm too old" and regretted from here on out? But not us. We decided to follow our dreams, and even though we're a bit late, we're living it!

 

[xeulee]

I know how you feel. I'm 25, am not engaged/married/in a relationship and I don't have kids. Hopefully it will all work out before time on that clock has expired.

 

[glamqueen]

I'm 27, and I am applying this coming June. I'll still be 28 when I start, but I'll turn 29 that fall (fall 2009). I am married, but we are carefully trying not to have children til I am in residency. We are definitely not old, but don't get down when you go to the pre-allo board and you have the 19-yr-olds posting about how they heard if you are over 30 it hurts you (with their attitudes and cockiness to boot). They are stupid, and they are not right, and we are fine to start when we do.

 

[thalamatic]

I'm a guy that has similar concerns as people in this forum, even though I feel that as hard as it is to do the family thing while in med school/residency it is harder for women.

I'm 25 applying for class of 08' and used to worry a lot about med school dominating my life. But I realized that you can balance both if you want to and that things will most likely turn out ok.

btw, If any girl is interested about finding a supportive guy to have a med career and family with, I'll be ready to have babies in about 6 years.

 

[Zernike]

I'm 35 and can't even apply till next year, to start in 2009. My husband's 45 and also considering med school maybe starting 2010. We've got 2 kids and will be planning our meltdowns so they don't coincide. LOL

I'm 34 and my husband is 50; we've been married 12 years, no kids, no plans for kids (which simplifies things quite a bit). The biggest issue is where I go to med school. He has been living in the same area for 30 years and isn't too keen on leaving, but the med schools in Boston are pretty competitive, so chances are we'll be moving. We have already come up with a list of places where we would both be happy living (New England, Chicago, Ann Arbor, NC), and there are at least 20 schools where I can apply.

One of my classmates has a toddler and he and his wife are both applying to med school in a couple years. I am soo impressed with folks that can do this with kids. I can barely take care of myself right now.

 

[res027]

I'm a guy that has similar concerns as people in this forum, even though I feel that as hard as it is to do the family thing while in med school/residency it is harder for women.

I'm 25 applying for class of 08' and used to worry a lot about med school dominating my life. But I realized that you can balance both if you want to and that things will most likely turn out ok.

btw, If any girl is interested about finding a supportive guy to have a med career and family with, I'll be ready to have babies in about 6 years.

Have you noticed the many, many single women around???

 

[Luxian]

Hi everyone,
From what I've seen, the only people whose relationships didn't suffer during medical school were those who were already seriously dating or married. This prospect is a tough one for me to accept when I have other professional, yet less fulfilling, options...

I'm 32 and will be 33 by the time I'm in school, but I have several friends who have been through it or who are married to those who have. Being in a serious relationship or marriage is no guarantee. I have one friend who swears the only thing that saved their marriage was when her husband took a year off of med school. There are a lot of divorces in med school, but there are a lot of people who find a mate there too.

I don't think it's too late (at least I don't think it's too late for me, and you're a lot younger!) You'll be with a lot of wonderful people in med school. You may also think of going places that have their med campus on their main campus in order to allow you better access to single people in other fields. Don't lose hope! Life's not over!

P.S. I've waited on this for years hoping to get the relationship/marriage side of my life settled first. I'm now so glad to be moving forward. There's no sense in holding back on your life.

 

[lynxtigtab]

It is great to read all of these posts and hear people saying some of the same things that I have been thinking. I was pre-med as an undergrad (even took the MCAT - didn't do well) but my whole thought process was always that I would be so old by the time I would be finishing up. And I was thinking this beginning college!!!!

Well now I have gone on, finished my undergrad, gotten my masters, and have been working for a year. I am just now starting to prepare to take the MCAT again. I am not planning on taking it for a while (maybe next summer, but maybe the one after that) so I could be 28 or 29 before I am even applying.

However, I am single, no boyfriend, no husband (just 2 cats! So I might end up being a lonely cat lady too!). And I totally feel that this is something that I am willing to work my butt off to attain. And that those "details" will eventually work themselves out. I don't think that I want kids, so that gets rid of the ticking clock for me.

I do know several people who are married/have kids who are "older" and in med school and making it work just fine. I read a book at one point that brings all of these topics up. It is called Med School Confidential, and is written by Robert H Miller, and Daniel M Bissell. It is a really good read for anyone looking to one day go to Medical School. I highly recommend it!

Sorry for the length, but I hope that this helps someone out there!

 

[helenac]

Hi everyone,

I am considering entering medical school at age 27 or 28, about five years after the average start date. Because medical school is so consuming and because I'm neither married nor engaged, I'm concerned that this timing will negatively disrupt other great areas of life (i.e., relationships). Does anyone know of any women who have entered competitive medical schools later in life? Would they do it again?

From what I've seen, the only people whose relationships didn't suffer during medical school were those who were already seriously dating or married. This prospect is a tough one for me to accept when I have other professional, yet less fulfilling, options...

Best,
NYC

I'm pretty much in the same boat as you. I'm planning on applying to med school in a few years and I have worried about not having the time to date, get married and have kids. Both medicine and family are very important to me, I want both and i'm not going to give up one for the other so i've decided to just take things as they come, see what happens. I hope things will work out the way I want them but if they don't, that's okay.

I know some people who have been through this, here are 2 examples:

-My sister's sister in law entered med school at 30. She met a 30 year old in med school at 33 and they got married, had two boys. Unfortunately, they had to spend time apart during their residencies and it didn't work out. They divorced last year. IMO, she's better off without him, he was a jerk and not understanding. In the end, he wanted her to drop out of her residency so she can take care of the kids. She stood up to him and filed for divorce. (I just think he was threatened by her success, she was a better student afterall.) Not a very happy ending, but hey, at least she's doing what she loves.

-My mother's friend is a doctor. She met her hubby in med school and they did their residencies together. They now have 4 kids and live a very comfortable and happy life. So there's a happy ending.

 

[BSN2DOC]

There is a pediatric resident I know of at my hospital that is in her early 40's and is in her 1st year of residency. She worked many years as a nurse before pursuing medicine, and she has said that she never regretted purusing medicine and was able to manage a family during it. Since she is in her early 40's, I presume she started med school in her mid-to-late 30's.

On the flip side, there is an attending trauma surgeon at my hospital that is in her early 50's. She pursued medical school in her early 30's and said she has basically regretted that decision. She regrets the field she chose more than anything because she has never had the time to meet someone and start a family and now having children are out of the question. She stated she still has hopes of maybe one day finding a husband, but it probably won't happen until she retires.

 

[Lindindite]

I'm reviving this months-old thread because I wanted to add the story of an MD and prof out here in L.A. I invited her to speak to my club, the Pre-Med Club for Non-Traditional Students in Los Angeles, on the topic of having babies during med school. I found out during the talk that she was a non-trad herself--getting into med school in her late 20s--and she gave birth to 3 babies during med school and 1 during residency! She said that she felt it was easier that they were babies during med school, because as they got older, they required more of her time! As babies, they slept so much and could be soothed in the arms of aunts, uncles, grandparents, nannies... As children, they just wanted their MOM!

WE CAN DO IT, ladies! Don't fall into the trap of thinking it's too hard. And big big props to all you moms in med school!!!

 

[hilseb]

You would fit right in at NSU. As for straining relationships, the people that I see having problems are the people who are trying to hold onto long distance relationships, and those are mostly the 23 yr olds who just left their undergrad sweethearts behind...

I am a 34 yr old first year, by the way, so you would be one of the young 'uns to me.

 

[cutie_monkey]

It is very comforting to hear I am not alone on this boat. I'll be 28 when I start med school (that is if I get accepted). Anyhow, I am in a relationship and my bf doesn't know of my intention yet. But honestly if I have to choose I know I'll go with med school in a heartbeat. Guess he'll have to get on board or get off of the boat.

I have some questions for those that entered med school post bac...What is your advice on the application process? What was your study tactic? I may have to take the MCAT in August w/o either Org Chem II or Bio II and possibly without both. How bad will that look on the application? And how much will that hurt me on the MCAT? Will you advice me to take course online at an accredited community college? Or a sit in course at an accredited community college? I spoke with a few med schools and it seems as though as long as the community college is accredited it will be ok. Some told me it depends on the admission committee too. I am trying to start med school next year.

Regards,
Annie

 

[Kateb4]

Ok, having turned 30 last week, I do not feel old at all. I am hoping to start med school this fall, and I don't have any doubt that there will be many other people that are my age that I will be able to socialize with, so don't think that late 20's or 30's or any age really is too old for med school.

I sometimes stop and think how behind I am in life. "If I had started in xxxx I would be done by now." But I don't dwell on it.

I used to feel this way, now I'm in no hurry! Regardless of the order in which we do things in our lives, the only thing that matters is that we are happy. I am not miserable right now, so I have taken my time with things. I don't compare myself to anyone because everyone is different and you will never measure up to people that you put on a pedistal. My life is rich in ways that others are not, and even though I will probably be 40 before I start practicing medicine on my own, I will still be doing what I want to do. I will be 40, 50, 60 some day no matter what (God willing), I would rather be 50 and practicing medicine than 50 and flipping burgers.

I'm also in my late 20's in medical school. I am considering leaving. I am not sure if spending the next several years in school is really condusive to future happiness. I am not so sure this is a good idea. It might be too much of a sacrifice and I might end up a bitter old career woman living with cats. Any comments?

Cats are good! Get a cat, but stay in school! You have a lifetime to be happy, a few years of hard work or sacraficing your social life is not going to leave you a bitter old cat woman.

I'm reviving this months-old thread because I wanted to add the story of an MD and prof out here in L.A. I invited her to speak to my club, the Pre-Med Club for Non-Traditional Students in Los Angeles, on the topic of having babies during med school. I found out during the talk that she was a non-trad herself--getting into med school in her late 20s--and she gave birth to 3 babies during med school and 1 during residency! She said that she felt it was easier that they were babies during med school, because as they got older, they required more of her time! As babies, they slept so much and could be soothed in the arms of aunts, uncles, grandparents, nannies... As children, they just wanted their MOM!

WE CAN DO IT, ladies! Don't fall into the trap of thinking it's too hard. And big big props to all you moms in med school!!!

I'm really glad to hear this story! I worked in a teaching hospital, and there were female residents having babies all the time. Of course it is not ideal, but honestly there is no perfect way to time a family, and really there is no perfect way to plan/run your life. We all have to do the best that we can with our lives, and find something that is going to make us happy in the end. I have three kids, the youngest is 4 months old, and the more that I think about it, the more determined I am to get into med school and make them proud of me!

Oh my, I just read thru my reply and this has to be one of the sappiest things that I've written on here, but really it does make me feel good to see so many people on here that are taking this path, which as a previous poster said, is not really all that uncommon any longer.