Women with families

[trishias]

Hi folks! This is for female pharmacy students who have started families already. I want to know what is your gameplan for studying, raising the kids and keeping house? For me, if my fiance won't help then nothing will get done because my education comes first. I don't mean to leave the guys out but we all know that women still do the majority of housework . If that is not the case, then what is your plan? Thanks.

Trishia

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[Asor]

Hi folks! This is for female pharmacy students who have started families already. I want to know what is your gameplan for studying, raising the kids and keeping house? For me, if my fiance won't help then nothing will get done because my education comes first. I don't mean to leave the guys out but we all know that women still do the majority of housework . If that is not the case, then what is your plan? Thanks.

Trishia

It's a tough situation any which way you cut it, isn't it Trishia? The bottom line is that no matter what your plan is it's going to be difficult when children are involved. I think a lot has to do with the age of the kids. Mine are still pretty tiny ( 3 & 4) so they are a bit higher maintenance (still do-able though). My husband has been gone for the past 7 months (military-remote tour to S. Korea) and I've been doing all of "kid raising" and "everyday chores" while finishing up my pre-reqs. It was very tough at first but once I found my "niche" it was a little better. Of course my ideal situation and "plan" would include my husband being there to help, but our situation is a bit unique. I understand the statement you made about your education coming first--my ranking is just a smidge different...I put my kids and husband first(even if he is gone) and then my schooling second--the laundry, dishes, cleaning etc come dead last I would feel guilty putting my little ones and hubby second to anything.

I just had to experiment and find a "routine" that worked best for me. This included lots of organization and many late nights. And yes, there were several times when I thought that I would lose my mind, but some how I got through it.

I wanted to get accepted into school so badly that I made it work some how. I start classes this fall at USN (orientation is August 24) and my husband finishes his tour in early September (Thank GOD!!!) I figure that if I could keep it together this long, it won't be as bad with help from my husband when he's back home.

Best of luck to you, Trishia and all you other ladies & daddies in similar situations.

 

[Tri-Luma]

School has to come first before anything else. The family will have to understand that completing this 4-year program will benefit everyone in the long run.

It would be nice to leave all of the household and children duties to the husband, but most of us women know that is impossible.

Trisha, work(for you), will have take a back seat and your family will have to become accustomed to living off of one salary(exceptions being school breaks and summers).

The children would need set bedtimes, so that you can study during those hours.

And daddy will have to score points by washing dishes if he wants his own 'special' time.

Thats my plan

 

[trishias]

And daddy will have to score points by washing dishes if he wants his own 'special' time.

He just doesnt understand (yet) that washing dishes and cleaning up is such a turn on!! Were working on the gameplan but he knows that going to school is for the family and he's all for it because he wants to retire at 35!

 

[Superman22]

Come on ladies be nice to us men. I am the major childcare provider, household caretaker, taking pre-reqs, working part-time in a house of 2 boys and one on the way. When I met my wife, who dreamed of being a doctor, I told her that I would be there for her every step of the way (17 years ago). I helped literally fill out her Amcas applications (let alone school applications), sat by her side as she studied for MCAT, borrowed money for tutors, fees and the like even when we didn't have the money, Held her hand with the rejects, the struggles in med school and the joys. I supported her financially through the med school years. along the way,we had children. I have to admit she is better at all the things us guys were not socialized to do. But I give it my best shot. She is pregnant right now and I am taking my prereqs and working. I don't think it is right to lose sight of what is most important. A career should be something we do but a relationship and family is way more important and meaningful. I left my career to raise the children and to attempt a shot at getting into pharm school (someting I wanted to do 8 yrs. ago but for obvious reasons couldn't). Right now I am up studying for a anat/physio final on-line (it is 4 a.m.) while my wife and children are sleeping. I have asked how others with family and those similar to my current lifestyle are doing it. I will never sacrifice my family for a career. I am completing my pre-reqs knowing full well that at anytime my quest might be over (because I refuse to trade my family for my aspiration).

So have some symapathy would ya . And for those who wonder why I am doing this I say watch Say Anything with John Cusack and you will understand me and my special relationship with my wife and kids

 

[trishias]

Come on ladies be nice to us men. I am the major childcare provider, household caretaker, taking pre-reqs, working part-time in a house of 2 boys and one on the way. When I met my wife, who dreamed of being a doctor, I told her that I would be there for her every step of the way (17 years ago). I helped literally fill out her Amcas applications (let alone school applications), sat by her side as she studied for MCAT, borrowed money for tutors, fees and the like even when we didn't have the money, Held her hand with the rejects, the struggles in med school and the joys. I supported her financially through the med school years. along the way,we had children. I have to admit she is better at all the things us guys were not socialized to do. But I give it my best shot. She is pregnant right now and I am taking my prereqs and working. I don't think it is right to lose sight of what is most important. A career should be something we do but a relationship and family is way more important and meaningful. I left my career to raise the children and to attempt a shot at getting into pharm school (someting I wanted to do 8 yrs. ago but for obvious reasons couldn't). Right now I am up studying for a anat/physio final on-line (it is 4 a.m.) while my wife and children are sleeping. I have asked how others with family and those similar to my current lifestyle are doing it. I will never sacrifice my family for a career. I am completing my pre-reqs knowing full well that at anytime my quest might be over (because I refuse to trade my family for my aspiration).

So have some symapathy would ya . And for those who wonder why I am doing this I say watch Say Anything with John Cusack and you will understand me and my special relationship with my wife and kids

Kudos to u for your commitment to your family. Most men, however, (in my own opinion) wont show the same sacrifice and commitment for their wives but expect their wives to do so for them. Im not saying my fiance isn't supportive because he is and I thank God for him, but I just wish he would realize that we both have to do our parts in raising the kid and keeping house, and when Im in school, he should do more. I dont plan to sacrifice my relationship with my family, in fact my son hopefully be going to UIC as well (we'll see how potty training goes!) Good luck with your A&P final and keep up the good job.

 

[Superman22]

Let me speak to him. Just a suggestion, make sure he knows the expectations of your relationship. I know of some couples who didn't have "the talk" and either stopped going to school or divorced.

 

[jammocah]

I will never sacrifice my family for a career.

Jalba22 - Your post was refreshing. It's hard to find people like you these days - especially guys. I wish you the best of luck.

 

[PharmDmomma]

I know I am responding a little late, but I just joined this site. I am the mother to five beautiful kids which consists of a set of one year old twins. I will begin my pre-pharmacy coursework this fall. I still haven't quite figured out how I am going to manage this. I just know that I need to do it. My man is behind me 100% so is the rest of my family. It's good to see that there are other families out there with the same mindset.
Aiysha

Hi folks! This is for female pharmacy students who have started families already. I want to know what is your gameplan for studying, raising the kids and keeping house? For me, if my fiance won't help then nothing will get done because my education comes first. I don't mean to leave the guys out but we all know that women still do the majority of housework . If that is not the case, then what is your plan? Thanks.

Trishia

 

[GaPharmGirl09]

I went from stay at home mom... to college student... to college student working 34 hrs a week. I quit cooking and cleaning by myself. My family knows that I am not going to do it all. In fact, I only cook on Sundays and my house is a wreck. When I finish pharmacy school, I'll cook more often and I'll get a maid!!!

My family comes first, but the house work and cooking come dead last. They will not die if the house is dirty or if they have to eat ravioli from the can....again!!

My husband was not supportive at all in the beginning, and we almost divorced (not just because I'm in school). He turned over a new leaf last November. He helps with the housework....a little, but MUCH more than before. He is being very supportive of me in ALL that I am doing now.

As mother/wife, we can not do it all. We maybe super women, but we can only do so much! My 16 year old daughter is a GOD send. If it wasn't for her helping out so much at home in the house and with our six year old, I don't know how I'd manage. I have promised her a new car when I graduate for all that she has done to help me be successful. I told her we would get matching Honda Accords!!!! (I've been driving the same 1994 Honda Civic since.... 1994!!! Mama wants a new car!!!)

 

[Meo_em]

I went from stay at home mom... to college student... to college student working 34 hrs a week. I quit cooking and cleaning by myself. My family knows that I am not going to do it all. In fact, I only cook on Sundays and my house is a wreck. When I finish pharmacy school, I'll cook more often and I'll get a maid!!!

My family comes first, but the house work and cooking come dead last. They will not die if the house is dirty or if they have to eat ravioli from the can....again!!

My husband was not supportive at all in the beginning, and we almost divorced (not just because I'm in school). He turned over a new leaf last November. He helps with the housework....a little, but MUCH more than before. He is being very supportive of me in ALL that I am doing now.

As mother/wife, we can not do it all. We maybe super women, but we can only do so much! My 16 year old daughter is a GOD send. If it wasn't for her helping out so much at home in the house and with our six year old, I don't know how I'd manage. I have promised her a new car when I graduate for all that she has done to help me be successful. I told her we would get matching Honda Accords!!!! (I've been driving the same 1994 Honda Civic since.... 1994!!! Mama wants a new car!!!)

everyone's stories are all so inspiring and helpful to me. Hope I can be as strong as you guys are holding up with family, school, and work.

 

[trishias]

I went from stay at home mom... to college student... to college student working 34 hrs a week. I quit cooking and cleaning by myself. My family knows that I am not going to do it all. In fact, I only cook on Sundays and my house is a wreck. When I finish pharmacy school, I'll cook more often and I'll get a maid!!!

My family comes first, but the house work and cooking come dead last. They will not die if the house is dirty or if they have to eat ravioli from the can....again!!

My husband was not supportive at all in the beginning, and we almost divorced (not just because I'm in school). He turned over a new leaf last November. He helps with the housework....a little, but MUCH more than before. He is being very supportive of me in ALL that I am doing now.

As mother/wife, we can not do it all. We maybe super women, but we can only do so much! My 16 year old daughter is a GOD send. If it wasn't for her helping out so much at home in the house and with our six year old, I don't know how I'd manage. I have promised her a new car when I graduate for all that she has done to help me be successful. I told her we would get matching Honda Accords!!!! (I've been driving the same 1994 Honda Civic since.... 1994!!! Mama wants a new car!!!)

I just want a car!! I wish u and your family all the best during your studies and we've got each other to get thru the next 4 years. We're gonna make it damn it!!!!

 

[PharmDmomma]

Me too! I just want a nice luxury car. Have you decided what car you would like? I am going create a bulletin board that I will put up in our bedroom. It will have pictures of me with a RPH.'s lab coat and a picture of a nice house, and car that I would like and many other things that I desire. They say if you can invision yourself doing a particular thing then it is attainable.

Aiysha

I just want a car!! I wish u and your family all the best during your studies and we've got each other to get thru the next 4 years. We're gonna make it damn it!!!!

 

[trishias]

Me too! I just want a nice luxury car. Have you decided what car you would like? I am going create a bulletin board that I will put up in our bedroom. It will have pictures of me with a RPH.'s lab coat and a picture of a nice house, and car that I would like and many other things that I desire. They say if you can invision yourself doing a particular thing then it is attainable.

Aiysha

First, I have to get a license. That is my plan for the summer (and getting my son potty trained). We went to the auto show this year and I was thinking about the new Pontiac G6. We have a Grand Am right now and I like it. I have to keep it small though, I dont ever want a mini-van to haul around the family . (no disrespect to those who have one.) But first I envision getting a license!

 

[PharmDmomma]

Well I just wanted to check in with all of the ladies to find out how everything is going this summer. Basically I am just preparing myself for the Fall semester, and trying to have as much fun as I can. What have you been up to?

 

[Smilescali]

I am the proud mother of my 3 year old son. I too am trying to potty train him this summer, however it is easier said than done when you have a little boy who is SO strong willed and thinks he knows what is best.

I am taking a summer 6 week class ( Interpersonal Comm.) and can not wait until it is over. The tests are so ambigous and it seems like a lot to do about a little. I understand the importance of effective and appropriate communication, but this is going a little overboard. I thought this class would be a breeze, but my teacher expects a lot of outside work (17 page syllabus! ) Anyway, I will have almost the entire month of August off to maybe go on vacation and relax!

Good luck to all of the other mommies and daddies out there!

 

[rougemarie]

I'm *so* glad that I found this thread too!! I'm also a family "woman" been married for 7 years and for the past year been caring for my just 1 y.o. godson (his mom is having trouble medically on and off, I'm practically her only family member close to her), I'm telling you, doing the 3 am feeding and taking the exam the next morning is not an easy task (thankgoodness that he's sleeping through the night now!!) But I'm glad that my husband is very suportive and I learn along the way that I cannot have the cleanest possible house, that the pets hair is always going to be on the sofa and laundry will never get done . I myself have been battling over the decision to go back to school, especially now that I'm at the age where I have to decide pretty soon whether I want to start having children of my own or continue on in this path. But I bite the bullet and made the decision and here I am, crossing my fingers. Wishing you all the best of luck, I know it's not easy but it's worth it

 

[pharmmom]

Hi
I am on the waiting list for Ferris state and have two kids (5 and 2 1/2).
What do you do for childcare? It is so ungodly expensive it almost doubles my tuition for the semester!

 

[aubieRx]

I want to have children so very very badly (I am goin crazy cause I am like "oh noes what If i die in a car accident before i get to have them etc) but realistically it will have to wait.

First of all I have not met the right guy yet which is a major roadblock. Secondly I am scheduled to start pharmacy school. Pharmacy school is something I want but honestly I think if the other path (starting a family) were suddenly open to me I would go for that instead even though i t would make less logical sense.

Its been hard to admit to myself that that would be what i would want more than anything else because it used to not even be on my list at all! but times change and so do people.

My aunt had to quit pharmacy school because she got pregnant with my cousin so I wonder if history will repeat itself with me???

im not sure i could handle being a mom and a pharmacy student. Id feel like it would be too long a time and take too much time away from my kids. Oh well. life is never easy. I hope the parents out there do realize how lucky they are to be parents cause it is a very desirable thing.

If you can make having the kids and going to pharmacy school work then you are getting the best of both worlds it would seem!

 

[rougemarie]

Hi
I am on the waiting list for Ferris state and have two kids (5 and 2 1/2).
What do you do for childcare? It is so ungodly expensive it almost doubles my tuition for the semester!

Have you checked your local school for on-site child care? The local community college that I attended to has on-site day-time child care on their main campus. They have flexible fee schedule as in monthly/daily and hourly rate (for e.g. if we're only taking half-day class) I've only used this last semester as Josh was still too young and they only accept children from 6 month and up. They also have discount for qualifying students.