Words that need to be eliminated from the general public's vocabulary.

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"Neuticals"
Worst invention ever.

Also, why do owners have such an aversion to words like stool and fecal? Why do they always insist that they brought a "present" for me? Heck, just tell me it's poop, I don't care!


Lets see... there's the dog who bleeds from his "magic stick." That one made me laugh, I have to admit.

It does bother me when male cats are spayded though. I don't understand that one.
 
One of our clients wanted her dog "neuterized"
 
I'm definitely guilty of saying "spayeded." Only when I'm talking to the animal though, never to actual humans. 😳
 
I think the "actual humans" that say spayded actually think that's correct though..
 
I had a client scream at me the other day because I called to confirm her appointment and said "Fido is coming in to be castrated"

Apparently that word is a no-no?
I usually use neutered, but had just called to confirm two geldings and three bull calf castrations. The word was stuck in my head.

Anyway, long story short, she canceled her appointment because castrations are so much more painful than neuterings. Her words, not mine. I tried to explain that it's the same thing, but apparently you castrate dogs with rubber bands and pliers, or something like that.
 
Willowhand said:
I think the "actual humans" that say spayded actually think that's correct though..
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Y'know, I don't know what I meant by "actual humans" (as opposed to the fake ones, I guess?). It's been a long day. Went almost 8 hours between breakfast and lunch. But yeah, I'll agree with you that it would be irritating if someone thought "spayded" was the actual term.
 
I'd never do this, but it would be really fun to do a little research project that involved giving clients options (e.g. "Would you like to have Spot sterilized, neutered, castrated, demasculinized, or other _______?") and see which words are most and least appealing :laugh:
 
My mom texted me asking when the dogs' "limes" vaccine was due. Clients say it too. I politely correct them, "lyme". 😀
 
Willowhand said:
I'd never do this, but it would be really fun to do a little research project that involved giving clients options (e.g. "Would you like to have Spot sterilized, neutered, castrated, or demasculinized, or other _______?") and see which words are most and least appealing :laugh:
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🤣
 
variegata said:
Y'know, I don't know what I meant by "actual humans" (as opposed to the fake ones, I guess?). It's been a long day.
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Oh I knew what you meant (well, I thought I did, but if you don't know maybe I don't either) I say things like that sometimes as well.
 
That would be an interesting project.

"Ya'll did what to him? No no! I just wanted a bath! Well, I checked 'Sterilized'!!"
 
Does he have his needles?

Maybe this a Philadelphia thing I'm not used to, but I have to think about it every time.

They mean vaccinations.
 
I used to look through the classified ads as a kid (my dream to own a dog took over my free time sometimes...) and my favorite was when people were describing their female dogs as "spade". So they look like a shovel?
 
Oh got I HATE "spaded." And the Border Collie vaccine. Alternatively, we sometimes like to call this "bordatella." I would also like to strike puggle, doodle, schnoodle, maltipoo, and any other mixed breed "breed" names from existence.
I also love people who can't pronounce the name of the purebred dog they own, even if it IS generally bought from a crappy petstore. Like Rothwilers.

To be fair, we say some weird stuff sometimes. Today a client looked very confused after the Dr checked to see if the cat had a full bladder for a cysto, and pronounced "well, she hasn't got a bladder right now, so do you mind if we keep her for the day?" I had to explain that she meant that the cat's bladder was EMPTY. It still exists, don't worry! :-D
 
I love the clients that ask if they can have their cat "sprayed". :laugh:
 
StealthDog said:
I had a client ask once if we performed "tubal litigations". I asked the vet, and she said that we could debate it 😉
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We actually did a tubal ligation at my previous job. Odd client that wanted that...
 
We get spaded/spade all the time! Just today on the phone - "How much would it be to get my cat spaded and his rabie shot?" Wrong on several levels, for sure.

We also get asked about doing a "bordello" vaccination... haha.
 
Here's one I can't tell you how many clients say...

Upon letting them know their dog is due for their distemper vaccine ...

"Oh, yeah, she needs that, she's got a bad temper"

I can't tell you how many times I've had to politely inform clients about this immunization! How does this happen!? Sadly, it's largely in part due to the lack of education owner's previously receive about routine pet care -- which is contributed to the fact that not many find annual pet care necessary. (I work in a low-income neighborhood)

This thread has me giggling though!
 
I don't know about everyone else but the general mispronunciation of the word veterinary drives me NUTS. I even had a professor in grad school write "Vetinary" medicine on a power point presentation.
 
One client at the vet hospital I worked at used to say "Your lipstick is showing!"...when she came in with her excited, male German Shepherd. Can't wait to work with the general public and their animals!
 
twelvetigers said:
My mom says vet-trin-ar-y. I gave up telling her that she was a few syllables off. 🙄
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I have to admit that I tend to pronounce it like that when I am not thinking. My coworkers never stop teasing me about it!
 
I have a good one a client came in with a border collie and when i said "Oh what a cute border collie" The man looked horrified and quickly corrected me that is dog was a "Border Line Collie" not a Border Collie. He told the vet that he didn't want me to assist her with his pet because I couldn't tell one breed from another, lol.
 
Whyevernot55 said:
I would also like to strike puggle, doodle, schnoodle, maltipoo, and any other mixed breed "breed" names from existence.
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I agree. And chi-weenie? (Was asked once if we got them very often at the shelter. And no, we don't).

...Saw an ad in the local paper about some "doodles" for sale. Don't worry, they come with their registered "hybrid" papers...

And aah!!! I didn't realize so many people used the term "spayded"/"spaded"--I thought it was just the "locals." The worst I can recall was an adopter who asked if we could have her male kitten's claws "spaded."
 
I am guilty of calling it a red rocket/lipstick. I also have a chi-weenie! 😛

To add to the list, we had a client come in and say the word meese (plural for moose, I suppose).
 
HopefulAg said:
That would be an interesting project.

"Ya'll did what to him? No no! I just wanted a bath! Well, I checked 'Sterilized'!!"
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Funny story about this. My BF and I were discussing adopting a puppy, and I said the first thing I do would give it a bath. Earlier in the conversation, I had mentioned the puppy would need to be sterilized and he responded to my bath comment with "wait, wouldnt that already be done?"

He doesnt know what he is getting himself into just yet with vet school...:laugh:
 
Whyevernot55 said:
I would also like to strike puggle, doodle, schnoodle, maltipoo, and any other mixed breed "breed" names from existence.
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And then I get yelled at by the owner because pekapoo isn't on the AKC list in my computer and her $1500 dog has to be listed as a mixed breed ( which it's the complete definition of).

Whyevernot55 said:
I also love people who can't pronounce the name of the purebred dog they own, even if it IS generally bought from a crappy petstore. Like Rothwilers.
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Must be a different breed.. here we have rockweilers
 
I once had a man tell me over the phone (in some unrelated tangent) that his last dog died of "ammonia." That's definitely my all time favorite.
 
1. Couple comes in and says something is wrong with their kitten, I start getting TPR looking over the kitten and ask them what's the problem? They respond by saying she's vibrating a lot :idea:
2. (don't have all the details on this one cause the receptionist came back and told us all) Lady calls in and says her husband is always away...Then goes on to say she has a great dane and that she sleeps in the same bed as the dog , and then says sometimes they get frisky and it just slips in and was wondering if either she or the dog could catch anything....yeah they banged it out :barf:
 
"shots"

The vet I worked for really hated that word. I remember her being on the phone with another one of the techs at one of our other clinics, and I was just standing there by the computer making up an estimate and I hear "What?? You SHOT the dog??" in a completely deadpan, serious voice. It took me a second, then I just started giggling uncontrollably and had to sit down for a little bit.
 
A little off-topic, but not really:

This lady called in one day saying that she thought her male bulldog had mounted her female toy poodle. She said that she came home after work and saw that her bull dog had a "smug grin" on his face, so she promptly investigated the situation. She found that the back of her poodle felt wet, and, according to her, the wet stuff "smelled like semen." She then proceeded to call her poodle a "little slut" XD.


...I refrained from asking her how she knew what semen smelled like.
 
I overheard my boss explain to a client that yeast like it warm, dark and moist. Immediately he turned three shades of red. I bet he wished he was anywhere but there at that moment. 😳
 
Sharpei5 said:
2. (don't have all the details on this one cause the receptionist came back and told us all) Lady calls in and says her husband is always away...Then goes on to say she has a great dane and that she sleeps in the same bed as the dog , and then says sometimes they get frisky and it just slips in and was wondering if either she or the dog could catch anything....yeah they banged it out :barf:
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WTF 😱 :scared:
 
twelvetigers said:
My mom says vet-trin-ar-y. I gave up telling her that she was a few syllables off. 🙄
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I pronounce it like this too, but I chalk it up to my years of living in the UK. Where else does one see Banbury pronounced "banbry" or Bicester pronounced "bister"? At least I can pronounce Worcestershire sauce correctly, and without turning it into a tongue twister.

As far as words that need to be deleted, every field has one. My present field has a lot of "outsiders" involved as users. I actually have to stay out of our main nerve center (Tactical Operations Center) because I turn into the "Radio Nazi".
 
2. (don't have all the details on this one cause the receptionist came back and told us all) Lady calls in and says her husband is always away...Then goes on to say she has a great dane and that she sleeps in the same bed as the dog , and then says sometimes they get frisky and it just slips in and was wondering if either she or the dog could catch anything....yeah they banged it out
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Oh sweet jesus...I would be rendered speechless. I don't think I have enough professionalism to have handled that particular conversation.
 
I hate it when people used "spaded" to describe their male dog.

I also HATE IT WITH A PASSION when people pernounce betta as bay-ta, when in fact, if you look it up, it's "bet-ta". I've only come across ONE person since I started keeping them when I was 14 who says it right... and my boyfriend, who didn't even know what it was until I bought one.

This one is off topic, but does anyone remember Ty Beanie Babies? Ty Warner was the creator so the name is Ty as in Tie. Everybody in Texas got it right when I lived there but as soon as I came back to Nova Scotia, people were calling them "Tee-Why" beanie babies like they were initials. If they were initials, both letters would be capitalized, there would be a period after each letter, and they should be able to tell me what those letters stand for.

*headdesk*
 
scarcelyheard said:
This one is off topic, but does anyone remember Ty Beanie Babies? Ty Warner was the creator so the name is Ty as in Tie. Everybody in Texas got it right when I lived there but as soon as I came back to Nova Scotia, people were calling them "Tee-Why" beanie babies like they were initials. If they were initials, both letters would be capitalized, there would be a period after each letter, and they should be able to tell me what those letters stand for.

*headdesk*
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I always called them "Tee-Why" when I was younger because the T wasn't capitalized, and internet didn't exist to me yet. I've fixed it, but it's not a topic I talk about frequently.

On another note, they make wonderful dog toys for smaller/gentler dogs who don't rip things to shreds in two seconds.
 
Kind of off-topic maybe, but my boyfriend just told me that the word "utilize" is a fake, jazzed-up way to say used. Kind of made me sad because I utilize utilize all the friggin' time....
 
Just remembered another one... I once took a phone call from a woman whose regular vet had referred her dog to our emergency service for a "barbarium" swallow. :laugh:
 
One of our former receptionists (not the brightest) once sent back an intake form with the reason for visit filled out as "grandma seizure". As opposed to the grandPA seizure, I suppose, which is of course a very different thing.
 
Sharpei5 said:
1. Couple comes in and says something is wrong with their kitten, I start getting TPR looking over the kitten and ask them what's the problem? They respond by saying she's vibrating a lot :idea:
2. (don't have all the details on this one cause the receptionist came back and told us all) Lady calls in and says her husband is always away...Then goes on to say she has a great dane and that she sleeps in the same bed as the dog , and then says sometimes they get frisky and it just slips in and was wondering if either she or the dog could catch anything....yeah they banged it out :barf:
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Ok I know this thread isn't for weird stories but this made me think of something that happened at a vets office I worked at. This guy called in and said that he was experimenting sexually and put his hamster in his ummmm back door. He asked how to get it out and then suggested using a vacuum. AFter he said that we heard a vacuum go on (btw we had it on speaker phone in the back of the office). I think this was a prank call but stillll it was hilarious
 
I hope that was a prank call! I would have laughed so hard I cried, I think. Terrible!

I also know this thread isn't for "not the brightest crayon" coworkers/receptionists, but I get grumpy whenever I read through files and a past employee would spell 'diarrhea' and 'vomiting' wrong every time. You write it enough, learn to spell it. They would also say that something was 'pus**' instead of 'purulent'... haha. I see that word and do a double take. However, a more recent employee... spelled it 'canser'. SERIOUSLY? :scared:
 
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