Work-Life Balance as a DO

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arc5005

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So, I know the 4 years of DO school are going to be hard. It'll require immense sacrifice, and from what I've seen from my friends in MD school is that you will pretty much be broke, out-of-shape, and tired. However, you'll be intellectually-stimulated and working towards the career you want.

My biggest concern about going the DO route is that I want to have a family. I want 3 kids, and I want to be able to spend time with them and be with them. I would love to become a doctor, but I also want to be a good, there-in-person father. Is this possible? How many DOs work in residencies and settings that allow them to still be a family-focused individual. I'm worried, because I'm 25, and by the time I get into a DO school I'll probably be 27/28. Can I be selfish for 4 years + residency and still plan to have a family and be there for them afterwards?

I'm currently working on post-bacc classes and I''ve been debating either the AA, PA or the DO route. I might need to go for a Special Masters Program, since my undergrad GPA is only a 3.3. I have no research or healthcare work experience yet, but I'm going to be volunteering and shadowing this summer. I will also be taking the MCAT this summer.

I would love to hear from people who actually are doctors + have a family, or know of these people.
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There is no difference between DO and MD with work/life balance. You should simply consider MD=DO when thinking about residencies.
Residency, as you have seen, is brutal on family life. You can have a family, and you can make it through, and it will be difficult. Marry someone who understands the road you're traveling and is willing to go through it with you. Perhaps you'll get a chance to see the medical world and ask those questions to physicians in the field when you get into the clinic and shadow... (hint hint)
 
Several of my classmates have children and with supportive spouses, they have managed to make it through preclinical years by good time management and only going to campus when they're absolutely required to, while still spending a fair amount of time with their kids and spouses.
Unlike the preclinical years, however, rotations and especially residency require you to actually be there most of the time. Prerecorded lectures are available in OMS-1 and OMS-2 years, but there is no such thing as a rotation or residency where you can work from home. So that is 5-6 years after preclinical where you pretty much have to mold your schedule around whatever you're assigned to.
I am not yet a resident, but I have heard from residents and attendings in the following specialties say that their residency hours are less than in other specialities:
Psychiatry, Family Medicine, PM&R. These specialties also tend to have opportunities for reasonable hours once you complete residency, if you choose.

I agree with @DocWinter that shadowing could be very educational.
 
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Your wife will have to be okay with you having a mistress. (My wife calls med school my mistress.) I'm OMS-II and have 3 kids, 4 (5 in May), 2 (3 at the end of the month), and 10.5 months. You will have to discuss what concessions both of you will be willing to make. I have a friend that is married with 6 kids and is way more active on campus than I am. Admittedly, I spend a lot (relatively) of time with my family and if I spent less time with them I would have a higher class rank and probably score a little bit better on COMLEX/USMLE. You'll have to discuss with your wife what you want to get out of med school. If you are gunning for the #1 spot say good bye to your family. If you are okay being middle of the pack you will make time for your family. Make sure you attend school somewhere that your wife will have a good support network. Either way, communicate and don't be a jerk to your wife.
 
Tapoona said:
Your wife will have to be okay with you having a mistress. (My wife calls med school my mistress.) I'm OMS-II and have 3 kids, 4 (5 in May), 2 (3 at the end of the month), and 10.5 months. You will have to discuss what concessions both of you will be willing to make. I have a friend that is married with 6 kids and is way more active on campus than I am. Admittedly, I spend a lot (relatively) of time with my family and if I spent less time with them I would have a higher class rank and probably score a little bit better on COMLEX/USMLE. You'll have to discuss with your wife what you want to get out of med school. If you are gunning for the #1 spot say good bye to your family. If you are okay being middle of the pack you will make time for your family. Make sure you attend school somewhere that your wife will have a good support network. Either way, communicate and don't be a jerk to your wife.
Click to expand...

It'll actually be, my future husband. haha.

Thanks for the information guys!
 
If your spouse is supportive and willing to sacrifice with you, then med school is very doable. I am married with two children and I'm an MS2. I'm very happy with my life right now, much more so than when I was working a 40 hour/week dead end office job. Even though I am busier, I'm doing what I want to do and that is priceless. I can't speak for residency, but in general there are more married residents than there are med students. The ones I know seem happy.

I should ad that it is hard on my wife, I can't ignore the sacrifices she's had to make. She's incredibly supportive. It's important to make time for your spouse. You WILL have the time if you make your family your priority. I'm not first in my class be a long ways, and my GPA kind of sucks, but having a happy family life is worth it. I am passing all my classes and am on track to do well on boards.
 
NurWollen said:
If your spouse is supportive and willing to sacrifice with you, then med school is very doable. I am married with two children and I'm an MS2. I'm very happy with my life right now, much more so than when I was working a 40 hour/week dead end office job. Even though I am busier, I'm doing what I want to do and that is priceless. I can't speak for residency, but in general there are more married residents than there are med students. The ones I know seem happy.

I should ad that it is hard on my wife, I can't ignore the sacrifices she's had to make. She's incredibly supportive. It's important to make time for your spouse. You WILL have the time if you make your family your priority. I'm not first in my class be a long ways, and my GPA kind of sucks, but having a happy family life is worth it. I am passing all my classes and am on track to do well on boards.
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I'm curious how old you are and at what age did you decide to quit your office job and go to med school?
 
I quit a career a 34 to start school this year, my wife has been awesome but I don't see as much of the family as I would like. I do most of my studying outside the house as I can't really get anything done at home with the kids. It's definitely hard but doable as long as you understand the limits. Try to find a place without mandatory attendance if you can
 
Prioritize. There always needs to be sacrifices- a game of give and take. It's all doable though. Wife, kids, and keeping them happy.

And that first sentence: "that you will pretty much be broke, out-of-shape, and tired." That's some BS. Well, maybe broke is true… but those second two sound like the result that those who don't prioritize will see. I'm in better shape today than on the day I started I med school. Can't say the same for some of the flabbsters I see donning their short white coats. Choices.
 
The work in medical school is manageable with spurts of time where you really have to forego all else and focus. If you manage your time well, and recognize when you need to focus on work and when you need to focus on family, its all very doable. I multiple friends that make it work and have 2-3 kids.

I have a wife and extended family that requires regular time away from school, and that honestly hasn't been an issue until right now studying for boards. Even with that, this period of time will only last 3 mos or so. Its all very manageable if you prioritize and manage your time. Like others have said, I'm not at the top of the class, but I'm fine being around average.

Dharma said:
Prioritize. There always needs to be sacrifices- a game of give and take. It's all doable though. Wife, kids, and keeping them happy.

And that first sentence: "that you will pretty much be broke, out-of-shape, and tired." That's some BS. Well, maybe broke is true… but those second two sound like the result that those who don't prioritize will see. I'm in better shape today than on the day I started I med school. Can't say the same for some of the flabbsters I see donning their short white coats. Choices.
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Broke, yup. Out of shape, yup, but better than when I started, so I can't really blame that on med school. Tired, only during the week leading up to PBL exams, but that's my own anxiety keeping me awake at that point.
 
You'll probably be too busy adjusting cranial bones and fixing rib dysfunctions to have a family.
 
I would think long and hard - that's what she said. I would go DNP if i were u. Seriously. I'm not trolling. Most of us are over 200k in debt and can't back out now.

med school 4+ years. internship 3+ years. fellowship 1+ year.

you have ~10 years of "school" b4 your first meaningful paycheck.
And the way prescription rights are going: you might as well be a "doctor" of nurse practice.
watever the f*k that is.
 
arc5005 said:
So, I know the 4 years of DO school are going to be hard. It'll require immense sacrifice, and from what I've seen from my friends in MD school is that you will pretty much be broke, out-of-shape, and tired. However, you'll be intellectually-stimulated and working towards the career you want.

My biggest concern about going the DO route is that I want to have a family. I want 3 kids, and I want to be able to spend time with them and be with them. I would love to become a doctor, but I also want to be a good, there-in-person father. Is this possible? How many DOs work in residencies and settings that allow them to still be a family-focused individual. I'm worried, because I'm 25, and by the time I get into a DO school I'll probably be 27/28. Can I be selfish for 4 years + residency and still plan to have a family and be there for them afterwards?

I'm currently working on post-bacc classes and I''ve been debating either the AA, PA or the DO route. I might need to go for a Special Masters Program, since my undergrad GPA is only a 3.3. I have no research or healthcare work experience yet, but I'm going to be volunteering and shadowing this summer. I will also be taking the MCAT this summer.

I would love to hear from people who actually are doctors + have a family, or know of these people.
Click to expand...
I went to med school with 2 kids ages 2 and 5. My husband became my wife and did everything at home. You just have to be very scheduled and disciplined.
 
burritowithgreensauce said:
I would think long and hard - that's what she said. I would go DNP if i were u. Seriously. I'm not trolling. Most of us are over 200k in debt and can't back out now.

med school 4+ years. internship 3+ years. fellowship 1+ year.

you have ~10 years of "school" b4 your first meaningful paycheck.
And the way prescription rights are going: you might as well be a "doctor" of nurse practice.
watever the f*k that is.
Click to expand...

I'm not interested in the DNP route
 
cabinbuilder said:
I went to med school with 2 kids ages 2 and 5. My husband became my wife and did everything at home.
Click to expand...


I hear that type of surgery costs a lot of money.

It is true though, med school and life are compatible if you are just disciplined.
 
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