Not really. I think you guys are making incorrect assumptions about people’s intentions. If someone asked me, “Don’t you think x, y, z? If I didn’t, I would say no. If I did, I would say yes. I wouldn’t feel trapped to agree, or have the onus on me to defend my position. However, it would give me information on what that person thinks, which can be useful.
“Don’t you think…” kills two birds with one stone. It gives the message that the person using it does think that and they are wanting to know if you agree. It’s a shorter version of saying, “I think x, y, z. Do you agree? Or What do you think?”
If someone asked me, “Don’t you think this painting is beautiful?” It would let me know that they do, but I wouldn’t be under any pressure to say yes. They are wanting my opinion, so if I didn’t think it was beautiful, I would just say it’s not my cup of tea. However, If they just asked, “Do you think this painting is beautiful?” It wouldn’t give me any information on what they think of it.
Not everyone has bad intentions when they say something differently than how you would choose to say it, or if they don’t think exactly the same way as you about different issues.
“Don’t you think…” kills two birds with one stone. It gives the message that the person using it does think that and they are wanting to know if you agree. It’s a shorter version of saying, “I think x, y, z. Do you agree? Or What do you think?”
If someone asked me, “Don’t you think this painting is beautiful?” It would let me know that they do, but I wouldn’t be under any pressure to say yes. They are wanting my opinion, so if I didn’t think it was beautiful, I would just say it’s not my cup of tea. However, If they just asked, “Do you think this painting is beautiful?” It wouldn’t give me any information on what they think of it.
Not everyone has bad intentions when they say something differently than how you would choose to say it, or if they don’t think exactly the same way as you about different issues.